Departures (20 page)

anny,” Sierra whispered.

“Jana?” he whispered back.

“No.”

He paddled closer to the dock, and when he came completely out of the shadows, Sierra’s first thought was,
Oh yes, Jana, I think he’s grown up a little since last summer
. The buff guy coming toward her in the kayak made both Tim and Gregg look like wimps.

Sierra, still frozen in place, bit her lower lip as Danny paddled closer. Nervously she stammered, “Uh, Jana isn’t here right now. But I’ll tell her you called. Or rather, that you came by. Or should I say, that you came out of the shadows?”

Sierra found a boost of courage in those last words, and suddenly she was mad at this hunk for lurking in the shadows, spying on her private conversation with God.

“What are you doing out at this time of night, anyway?” Sierra snapped, placing her hand on her hip. “This is private property, and you have no right to be lurking around, spying on people.”

“What are you doing up in the middle of the night?” Danny asked her. He was now at the bottom of the ladder, bobbing in his streamlined kayak.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Sierra stated.

“Neither could I. You want to go for a ride?”

“No, of course not,” Sierra said with a light laugh. “You don’t even know who I am.”

“Let me guess. You’re a friend of Jana’s.”

“I’m going in now,” Sierra said, picking up her Bible and tucking it under her arm. She had heard people refer to their Bibles as their “sword,” and as soon as she picked it up, she felt armed and ready for this night stalker. If he so much as dared to take one step out of that kayak and up the ladder, Sierra would knock him on the head with her Bible and send him sprawling into the cold water.

But Danny didn’t move. “You’re going in?” he repeated.

“Yes,” Sierra stated firmly. “Good night.” She almost added, “I’ll see you in the morning,” but that would be giving away Jana’s plan.

Sierra fumbled for her flashlight. As soon as she had it, she took off at a clipped pace. She heard Danny call out in a controlled voice so as not to wake everyone, “Hey, tell Jana to come out here.”

Sierra kept striding through the cold grass. Each blade felt like a tiny needle on the bottoms of her feet. She didn’t turn around. Hopefully Danny would think she hadn’t heard him. He didn’t call out again. She entered the cabin as quietly as she could and tiptoed on her numb toes back to her bed, where she crawled right in, still wearing her jeans and jacket.

For several long, dark, agonizing moments, Sierra lay in bed with her heart pounding.
What do I do, Father God? What do I do?
She thought about the verse she had just read. What was the part about having insight and shining brightly? That was all she could remember. Except something about leading others to righteousness.

If I wake Jana up and tell her Danny is waiting, I sure won’t be leading her to righteousness. But he’s out there waiting. If I hadn’t heard him say to tell Jana, I wouldn’t be having this tormenting decision to make. But I did hear him. I can’t pretend that I didn’t. And I can’t have insight if I’m not honest with myself and others
.

“Ohh!” Sierra growled through her clenched teeth. She knew that if she woke Jana, Sierra would have to explain why she was outside in the middle of the night, and Jana might tell her parents, and they might be so upset with Sierra that they would put her on a plane back home. The only one home this weekend was Tawni, who was staying at her friend’s house. That meant Sierra would have to face her sister, and she didn’t want to have to do that.

Or she could tell Jana, and Jana would sneak out, and then the two of them would have to keep that secret from Jana’s parents. Sierra really didn’t want to do that, either.

But if she didn’t tell Jana until tomorrow, when they went berry picking, Danny would say something about seeing Sierra dancing around barefoot on the dock in the middle of the night. Then Jana would be furious with her because Danny would say he had told Sierra to get Jana, and then the rest of the weekend would be a disaster.

What am I thinking? The rest of the weekend is going to be a disaster no matter what. I can’t win here
.

It dawned on Sierra that if she merely gave Jana the message, then Jana would have to make her own decision about whether to see Danny. Sierra believed she knew her friend well enough to trust that Jana would make the right choice. It was Sierra’s responsibility to tell the truth, not to try to manipulate the outcome of the situation.

Drawing in a deep breath, Sierra crawled out of bed and walked
on still-numb feet over to the light switch. She closed her eyes, turned on the light, and then gently shook Jana’s shoulder.

“Jana, wake up,” she whispered.

“What? What’s wrong?” Jana pulled the covers up over her eyes.

“I’m really sorry to do this to you,” Sierra said. She glanced at the clock. It was almost three in the morning. “I have to talk to you.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“No, listen. I couldn’t sleep so I went out on the dock, and I was reading my Bible and looking at the stars and …”

Jana pulled back the covers and opened her eyes, staring at Sierra. “You went out on the dock?”

“Yes, but wait. I was having this really wonderful time with God, and then I heard this
plop-splash
sound, and it was Danny!” Sierra tried to calm herself and act with wisdom and insight as she told the next part.

Jana stared at her in disbelief.

“Danny talked to me, and he asked me to go for a ride with him. He didn’t even know who I was.”

“Did you go?” Jana asked in a small voice.

“No, of course not. I came back to the cabin. But on the way, he asked me to tell you to meet him out there.”

“Now?” Jana asked, sitting up in bed.

Sierra nodded. “I didn’t know if I should tell you or not, but I knew that if I told you, then you would know and wouldn’t be mad when we go meet Danny tomorrow, in case he acts like he already met me. Which he didn’t really, but, well, now you know and we can go back to sleep.”

Sierra stood and turned off the light.

“Sierra Mae Jensen!” Jana said loudly. Then, lowering her voice to a whisper, she added, “You turn that light back on this minute.”

When Sierra turned it on, Jana already was out of bed, pulling a pair of warmup pants on over her flannel pajama bottoms.

“What are you doing?” Sierra asked.

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m going to see Danny. Help me find my shoes.”

“Jana, I don’t think you should—”

“What? It’s okay for you to go out and carry on with him in the middle of the night, but I can’t?”

“I didn’t carry on,” Sierra said. “And I didn’t go out there to see him.” Then, because she thought it added a nice spiritual touch, Sierra added, “My appointment was with God.”

Jana stopped dressing and turned to look at Sierra long enough to give her the most pathetic “oh brother” look she had ever delivered. “Come on. You’re coming with me.”

“No, I’m not,” Sierra said.

“What? You can go outside in the middle of the night for God, but you won’t go outside for me?”

“Jana, this is crazy. Wait until the morning.”

Jana looked at the alarm clock. “It is morning. What difference will a few more hours make?”

“A lot! The rest of the world will be awake then. Jana, don’t go out there.”

“Why?” Jana stopped to scrutinize Sierra’s expression. “Did he say something? Anything?”

“No.”

“You saw him. Does he still look like the picture I showed you?”

Sierra couldn’t help herself. A grin broke through, and she said, “No, he looks much better.” As soon as she said it, Sierra slapped her hand over her mouth and scolded herself.

“That’s it; I’m going,” Jana said decisively, zipping up her jacket. “Are you coming?”

“No,” Sierra said, standing firm. “And I don’t think you should go, either.”

Without comment Jana slipped out of the bedroom and quietly went out the front door. Sierra turned off the light and rushed over to the window that faced the lake. She wanted to look out without being seen. She also thought that if Danny saw the light go out, he might take it as a signal to go away.

In the dim starlight, Sierra could see Jana—steady, predictable, nonrisktaker Jana—running toward the dock as if the winning goal for the soccer game depended on her.

“What have I done?” Sierra muttered, throwing herself on her bed. She considered running after Jana. At least if she had gone with Jana, Sierra might have been able to convince her to only stay a few minutes.

Sierra got up and paced the floor. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe she should run out there just to make sure that all Jana did was say, “Hi, do you want to go rafting tomorrow?” He could say yes, just the way Jana had planned it before they went to bed. Then the two girls could go back to the cabin and sleep in tomorrow since there wouldn’t be any reason to explain why they felt a sudden urge to pick berries at the crack of dawn.

Sierra peered out the window once more. This time she saw nothing. No Jana. Only the form of the four Adirondack chairs on the
dock. She didn’t see a kayak anywhere, either, although she knew Danny was good at hiding.

“I have to go down there,” Sierra convinced herself. If Jana had gone off for a ride with Danny, Sierra knew she would have to make another decision about whether to tell Jana’s parents. But first she had to try to stop Jana.

Sierra left the house, and she wasn’t real quiet about it this time. She closed the door too quickly, and it made a lot of noise. As soon as she was out the door, she took off at a sprint fast enough to match Jana’s dash across the grass.

When Sierra reached the dock, she spotted Jana. Not on the dock. Not in a kayak. But on the shore, walking toward Danny’s house.

“Jana!” Sierra called out.

Jana stopped, turned to see Sierra, and then stood still.

“Come back,” Sierra called to her.

It took Jana a moment, but she turned and came back along the shore. Sierra waited for her.

“Did you make it all up?” Jana asked.

“No, of course not! He was here.”

“Well, he was gone when I got here,” Jana complained. “How long did you wait before you told me?”

“I don’t know. Not very long. A little while. I had to think about what to do.”

Jana began to walk back to the cabin. Sierra trotted after her. Jana didn’t speak again until they were almost up to the cabin. “I can’t believe I came out here.”

“I can’t believe it, either,” Sierra said.

“Neither can I,” came a male voice from the cabin’s front door.

t took almost an hour for Sierra and Jana to explain the situation to Jana’s parents. They weren’t happy, but they weren’t mad, either. Sierra wondered how her parents would have responded. The Hills seemed pleased enough that Sierra and Jana had both told the truth and had admitted that they hadn’t made wise choices, although Sierra still wanted to think that her alone time with God had been special and not foolish or dangerous.