Desert Rain (26 page)

Now Holly knew with terrible finality that her capacity to be hurt by Linc was as great as
her love for him. There was no end to her vulnerability.

If he touched her, she would be destroyed. She didnt have the strength to leave him again.

He had called hernin‡ .

In the distance she heard the sounds of vehicles laboring over the last ridge to Hidden
Springs.

Holly didnt know that she had turned and fled toward the caravan until she felt herself
gasping for air beneath the hammer blows of the sun. She stopped abruptly, lungs aching as
she fought for breath.

The air was as harsh and dry as stone.

The first Jeep came over the hill far more cautiously than Holly had. When Roger saw her
standing in the road alone, breathing hard, he signaled the driver to stop.

What are you doing here? he asked. Did your Jeep break down?

No.

Climb aboard, he said, patting his lap.

Instead, Holly climbed into the cluttered back seat and sat just behind him, ignoring his
offer of a softer place to sit.

Whats wrong? Roger asked, turning around.

Just thought Id see what was taking you so long, Holly said casually.

He stared at her, then at the horse approaching the Jeep. And the rider.

Lincoln McKenzie.

Did that cowboy Roger began harshly.

No, she interrupted, her voice as hard as his.

Roger said nothing more. He had learned when she took that tone of voice, there was no
point in pursuing the subject.

Linc reined in his horse next to the idling Jeep.

Hello, Roger, he said. Hows the rag trade?

Chills chased over Hollys arms. Just the sound of his voice unnerved her. She refused to
look higher than the stirrup that brushed against her side of the vehicle.

Yet she couldnt help noticing his sinuous power as he controlled the restless stallion.
She couldnt help remembering what it had felt like to knead Lincs muscular leg, to test
its resilience with teeth and tongue, to savor all the compelling differences of his
masculinity.

With a small sound she closed her eyes and looked at nothing at all. Hello, McKenzie,
Roger said. Beautiful Arabian. Yes, Linc said. I should have taken Shannons suggestion and
arranged to use your horses for some shots. Holly suggested that? Linc asked.

There was more intensity in his voice than such a simple question required. Roger noticed
it. He smiled slightly. It wasnt a pretty smile. Yes, he said, last year, when she first
suggested using Hidden Springs.

But not lately? Linc asked, intensity fading.

No. In fact, Shannon nearly broke her contract rather than come here this time.

Silently Holly wished that Roger would shut up.

But she came, her boss continued. Shes a real pro.

Yes, Linc said in a neutral voice. I know that her work means more to her than . . .
anything.

Holly caught herself shaking her head in a despairing negative. She stopped, but not
before the others saw.

Wrong, Roger said, his voice clipped. Shannon told me that if I didnt behave, I could take
my contract and tuck it where the sun doesnt shine.

Lincs smile was like lightning, white-hot and quick.

Rogers lips curled down.

Yes, I thought that would please you, he said. So I dragged Shannon back to you, though I
doubt that you deserve her.

Holly gasped. Her eyes flew open.

Linc was no less surprised.

Now, Roger continued briskly, if you will kindly wave your magic wand and put the light
and laughter back in the Royce Reflection, I will get on with my business of selling rags.

Thats enough, Holly said.

Her voice was brittle, balanced on the thin edge of breaking.

Too bloody right, Roger retorted, turning to her. Ever since you came back from Cabo San
Lucas, youve been a shell of the beautiful

Just. Shut. Up! Holly interrupted savagely. Roger said something very inelegant beneath
his breath, but offered no more comments. She felt Lincs intense glance, but refused to
look at him. I knew coming back to Hidden Springs would be a mistake,she reminded herself.
But she hadnt realized how bad a mistake until now. Did Holly warn you about snakes? Linc
asked as though nothing had happened. Snakes?

Roger turned and looked at her.

She shrugged impatiently.

I warned the technicians, she said. Theyll be the ones barging about in the underbrush.
They should scare off any snakes that might be around.

Might? Linc retorted sardonically. You know damn well there are always rattlesnakes around
the springs.

She shrugged again.

I wont be the first one walking down any trail, she said tightly, so theres no problem.

Whats all this about rattlesnakes? Roger demanded.

Linc turned to the handsome designer.

If Holly gets nailed by a rattler, Linc said coolly, shes dead where she stands.

The hell you say! I was told the beggars werent that lethal.

They arent, unless a big one gets you on the neck or youre violently allergic to venom,
like Holly. Then you are dead.

Linc spaced the last words carefully, so there could be no mistaking his meaning. Roger
tapped the drivers arm. Turn around. Dont be ridiculous, Holly snapped. I stand a better
chance of getting killed in a car wreck. The way you drove in here, Linc said under his
breath, I believe it. Roger looked doubtful. Youre sure, Shannon? he asked. Quite. Her
voice, like her mouth, was inflexible. Roger hesitated, then sighed. Right, he said. Lets
get on with it, then. Not yet, Linc said flatly. The blunt command startled Holly. She
looked upand froze, held by the hazel clarity of his eyes. After youre finished
working,nin‡, well talk. Hollys mouth went dry.

No, she said. We dont have anything new to say to each other. But she was talking to
herself. Linc had spun his horse and cantered away before the first word was out of her
mouth.

Holly was perched on a pile of boulders that was bigger than a house. Hands spread on the
rough, hot surface for balance, she leaned against one particularly massive stone.

Her fingernails gleamed with the color of a desert sunset. A matching color fired her
lips. It was the cosmetics, not the clothes, that were being emphasized in this series of
shots.

Over your right shoulder this time, Jerry said.

Knowing what the photographer needed, Holly turned her head with a sinuous motion that
made her hair fly. She challenged the camera with her tawny eyes, her unsmiling lips, the
perfect black curves of her eyebrows.

Catch Me If You Can was the theme of the Desert Designs campaign. Holly was the essence of
an elusive woman poised on the brink of flight.

Fantastic! Jerry said. Again. Now right. Again. Again. Again!

She responded to Jerrys commands with a precision that always managed to look spontaneous,
intimate.

That was Shannons trademark. She had a flexible, unrehearsed beauty that made
photographers fight for the opportunity to work with her.

Okay. Break for reload.

Jerry looked up at Holly, perched precariously above him on a jumble of boulders.

Not enough time to climb down, lovey, he said, unless you need some more sunscreen.

She tossed back her hair so that it didnt cling to her hot cheeks. With unconscious grace
she shifted to a more comfortable position.

Im all right for another half hour, she said. Water? Roger called. Not yet, she said. My
back teeth are floating as it is. The crew smiled and moved even more quickly.

From Hollys high perch, she could look beyond Jerry, past the technicians and their lights
and reflectors, the makeup man and hair stylists, the colorful sultans tent where she
changed from one desert-inspired outfit to another.

The view was exquisite to someone who loved the desert as she did. The slanting light of
late afternoon turned granite boulders into soft textures of gold and made even the
smallest pebble leap out of its sandy background.

Beyond the hubbub of the set, desert animals were beginning to move cautiously out into
the coolness of late afternoon, released from the suns seamless prison.

Linc was off to the left, well out of the way of the technicians setting up more
reflectors. He sat on the sorrel stallion, relaxed and powerful in his waiting, as patient
as the desert itself.

Holly forced herself to look away. Jack was close to Linc, standing in the stirrups,
peering behind the boulders where she was. Beths horse stood near a large clump of brush,
but she was not in the saddle.

On the far side of Hollys pile of boulders, Freedom suddenly started barking. Just as the
sounds reached a frantic pitch, Beths scream ripped through the afternoon silence.

Instantly Holly started for the girl. Heedless to the height and the danger of falling,
Holly leaped from boulder to boulder. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Linc and Jack
spur their horses into a dead run.

But they had a long way to go and Beth was still screaming, her voice raw with terror.

As Holly scrambled over the top of the boulder pile, she saw what Linc and Jack had
already seen. Beth was frozen in terror, staring down at the ground where Freedom barked
and made passes at a rattlesnake coiled in the sand.

The snake was trapped between the screaming girl and the snapping, snarling dog. It
divided its reptilian attention between the two threats.

Beth stopped screaming as suddenly as she had begun. She swayed forward alarmingly, on the
verge of fainting.

Holly leaped off the last rock and started running hard. If Beth fainted, she would fall
on top of the snake. Then it would strike mindlessly, again and again, for that was the
nature of a frightened snake.

The rattler could hardly miss Beths face and her neck, the points of greatest
vulnerability. Freedom barked and started toward the snake. Holly skidded to a stop,
hoping that the dog would keep the snakes attention off the pale, terrified girl. Its all
right, Beth, she said in a reassuring voice. As she spoke, she eased forward, measuring
the distance between girl and snake. Not enough. Any sudden movement could trigger the
snakes strike.

I cant risk yanking Beth out of danger,Holly realized.Ill have to get between her and the
rattler. It was the only way to be certain that Beth wouldnt fall onto the snake if she
fainted. The girl moaned and swayed, drawing the snakes black-eyed attention. Seeing an
opening, Freedom rushed in, then leaped back as the rattler struck at him.

Holly slid between Beth and the snake just in time to catch the girl as her knees gave
way. She hadnt quite fainted, but she was no longer able to stand.

Bracing herself, she supported Beth, trying to hold both of them absolutely motionless.

Only then did Holly realize what she had done. She was standing in silk shorts and sandals
less than three feet away from a coiled, buzzing rattler.

A snake cant strike more than its own length,she reminded herself firmly.

Unfortunately, she had no way of knowing how long the rattler was.

In blank fascination, Holly stared sideways at the snake, trying to guess its length from
the thickness of its coils.

Thats a damned big snake, she thought distantly.

Beth gave an odd moan.

Through stiff lips, Holly murmured reassurances and held the girl more tightly. Any
movement from them would take the snakes attention off the snarling, leaping dog.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lincs Arabian race by and come to a rearing, plunging
stop well behind Freedom. A hatchet blade flashed vividly in the sun as Linc leaped off.

Freedom, he said coldly. Heel. Whining, obviously reluctant, the dog retreated and came to
heel. Stay. Lincs voice compelled obedience. The dog froze in place as though nailed to
the ground.

With the odd, gliding grace of a stalking predator, Linc moved toward the rattlesnake from
a direction opposite Beth and Holly. The steel head of the hatchet burned gold above his
hand. His eyes were intent, focused on the deadly, poised head of the rattlesnake.

The reptile watched the mans approach with unblinking attention. The snake quivered along
its thick length, making a sound like pine needles shaken in a paper bag.

Under normal conditions, when Linc met a rattlesnake he simply turned aside and let the
snake go its way, as much a part of the desert as the sun itself.

But there was nothing normal about these conditions.

Slowly, Linc raised the hatchet above his head.

There was no warning before he struck. He simply surged forward and brought the hatchet
down in the same swift, deadly motion.

The steel edge sliced through the rattlesnake and didnt stop until it grated on rock
buried six inches beneath the sand.

Holly closed her eyes, shutting out the reflexive writhing of the dead snake. She heard
Beths choked cry as Jack lifted her into his arms. She heard him speaking broken words of
fear and relief.

When she opened her eyes, Beth was wrapped in Jacks protective strength. They stood and
held onto each other with silent intensity.

Watching them, Holly felt an instant of piercing envy. Since Cabo San Lucas her life had
felt like the time before dawn, neither stars nor sunrise to grace the hollow arch of the
sky, only a vast emptiness aching to be filled.

Hands closed harshly around Hollys arms, spinning her around, shaking her.

Thats the most stupid stunt Ive ever seen anyone pull! Linc said angrily. Do you think you
cant die? What the hell were you trying to prove?

She simply stared at him. His face was like the stone she had touched earlier, harsh and
unyielding. His eyes were narrowed, blazing with rage. His lips were thinned over his
teeth as he yelled at her.

Behind her came Jacks low words of comfort to Beth.

Sudden laughter wrenched Holly, clawing to be free, a laughter as wild as Lincs eyes.

She clenched her teeth against the awful laughter. When she spoke, her voice belonged to
someone else. Thin, calm.

Empty.

Beth was going to faint, Holly said. She was swaying forward. If she fell on the snake . .
.

Holly saw Lincs expression change as he realized how close his sister had come to dying.

Good, she said distinctly. Im glad you can care about somebody.

Behind them came the sound of Beths tears and Jacks continuing, gentle words of comfort.

Distantly Holly wondered what it would be like to cry again,to have someone hold me, care
about me, taste my tears and make them his own.

Linc had done that for her the night her parents had died.

Linc held my world together with his strength and his caring. I drew on that night for six
long years, my secret well of dreams and courage.

She had gone alone into an intensely competitive career in a world far removed from her
childhood, and she had conquered it. Then she had come back to share her world with Linc,
the world he had given her the strength to build.

But he doesnt want either my world or me.

And now Hollys secret well was dry, strength was draining out of her like night draining
color and warmth from the day,nothing left but darkness .

God, Im tired. So tired. Nothing left. Nothing . . .

Holly heard her voice at a great distance and realized too late that she had been thinking
aloud.

It doesnt matter. Nothing matters.

She had lost her balance and fallen off the edge of the world, spinning into the darkness
below.

She didnt even know that Linc caught her, breaking her fall, or that he carried her into
the dressing tent, cursing her boss every step of the way.

Linc laid Holly carefully on a pile of colorful satin sheets that had been used for
earlier shots. He touched her pale, still face with fingers that shook.

Then he stood up swiftly and went to tear a strip off of Rogers elegant hide for working
her so hard. Holly came back to consciousness with all the colors of sunset blazing and
rippling overhead. Thats wrong,she thought vaguely.Sunset is hours away. Outside mens
voices were arguing.

Roger and Linc.

taking her with me, Roger said.

Like hell you are, Linc snarled. Youve been working Holly so hard she can barely hold up
her head!

Its not the work, you bloody idiot, its She put her fingers in her ears, stopping the
sound of voices. She hadnt the strength to face Linc yet. She could barely face herself. A
few minutes later she cautiously took her fingers out of her ears. The arguing had
stopped, replaced by the familiar sounds of the crew packing up equipment.

Theyll have to wait for the tent,she thought.Im too tired to leave right now.

With a long sigh, Holly pulled a flame-colored satin sheet over her head and let herself
sink into sleep.

The next time she awoke, the brilliant colors of sunset were still flaring and rippling
overhead. This time she recognized them for what they were.

The sultans tent,she thought, dazed.Why am I here? I thought we were finished with that
part of Desert Designs.

Restlessly, Holly turned her head and looked around.

Im wearing the wrong costume for the interior script. Shorts, not harem pants. And why am
I underneath one of the satin backdrops? Abruptly, memory returned. I fainted.

The realization stunned Holly. She had never even come close to fainting before in her
life.

How did I get here?

No memory came to her but that of hearing an argument. She had shut it out.

And then she had slept from sheer nervous exhaustion.

Linc. He was arguing with Roger.

Even as Holly thought Lincs name, she knew he was nearby, alone with her in the desert.
She sensed him watching her, a presence as powerful as the mountains.

And as unyielding.

Gentle fingertips stroked Hollys cheek. She flinched away, not able to endure being hurt
again. Suddenly she wished that she had not awakened at all.

The quiet surrounding the tent was absolute, telling her that Linc had won the argument.
Roger and the rest of the Royce Designs crew had left.

Linc had not.

The warmth of his body flowed along her side as he lay down next to her. Protest rippled
through her, a spasm of stiffness that passed quickly because she hadnt the strength to
sustain it.

She felt the thick weight of her hair lifted off her neck, only to be replaced by Lincs
kiss burning against her skin in a caress that was all the more consuming for its
gentleness.

No, Holly whispered. Dont.

Linc heard the pleading in her voice, and the fear beneath it.

Why? he asked.

Nothings changed, she said. Then she laughed brokenly. Bad to worse. Thats a change, isnt
it?

Everything has changed,nin‡ . I love you.

Holly put her hand against her mouth and bit into her own skin to keep from crying out in
protest.

Too late,she thought in anguish.

I cant believe him.

I cant let myself believe him, because if Im wrong, if I let myself hope and love and live
again .. .

And lose again.

No, she said starkly.

Look at me, Linc said.

His voice was as gentle as his fingertips, his kiss.

She closed her eyes and fought against hope.

He kissed her eyelids. Very gently he took her hand away from her mouth. He kissed the
livid marks her teeth had left on her skin.

I knew I would love the girl called Holly from the first time I saw her staring up at me
on the trail with her heart in her eyes, he said. But I was seventeen and she was only
nine.

His voice was soft, as though he was talking to himself.

I watched Holly grow up until one night she ran out of my parents house and threw herself
into my arms. I wanted to kill my parents for frightening her.

She tried not listen.