Destiny: Book of Light

Destiny
By Paul Allen

Mist hugged closely to the foam and spray covered, dagger-like rocks. It seemed that they had always acted like extra bars in case the old rusted ones were ever broken. Every wave that crashed against the rocks reminded him that even if he managed to escape his cell, he would have no way to gain his freedom. With nothing as company except the sound of the waves all day and all night, time seemed to blur into one. Although for moments, the softness of the hushing and swishing on the rocks below was relaxing for him, mostly, it was as if someone had left him alone in a room with a dripping tap and no other sound. The waves slowly eroded his mind until all existence became as if it were nothing. Spending day and night moving from trance to trance, he stared into oblivion. Using his imagination, he began to create other worlds and other lives for himself. Slowly he began to live in his mind more and more, drifting further from reality everyday. It came to the point that he believed the events in his head were actually real. Barely sleeping, he became consumed with the exploration of his imagination. His madness deepened.

Shivering, the cold stung him from the stone walls, floor and bed. His skin hadn’t touched any other surface besides freezing, wet, stone for 23 years. He had slowly degenerated over the billions of slow seconds he had been there. His skin had become jelly like and if he touched anything with too much force it would simply peel away. A man dead to everything in the world, everything except his mind. If concentration is applied a member of the human race can build skyscrapers and send men into space. If a man has no other choice except to concentrate on his mind, how dangerous can that man be?

One morning he awoke to a new peace in his day. A calm. He spent the whole day exploring the reason for this calm, until he was sure of what it meant. Focusing all his strength on his tranquility, he spread his arms wide. They were now only bones with rotted flesh hanging off them. He took grasp of those old rusted bars for the first time in 23 years. His fingertips had already begun to bleed, but it didn’t matter now. Pulling himself up, the flakes of metal began to tear at what flesh was left on his hands. Standing on the window sill he looked out over the ocean. The sea was calm tonight. He took a deep breath inhaling the dream of freedom mixed with the fresh, cool, sea breeze.

He pressed his head against the gap between the bars. An old man now he had given up sanity and given up the insanity of living in such a hell. He had lost track of what age he was. Pushing with all his strength his head slowly fitted through a gap that it should not fit through. The bars slowly shredded his scalp, face and took away his ears. But pain didn’t concern him anymore.. He was above something as little as a bodily weakness. Nothing could compare to the torture of an insane brain with full control leaving you helpless to its mercy. His eyes focused on the beauty of the height at which he looked down from. It was as if everything in front of him was an exquisite painting hanging in some old historical museum. It was important that appreciation was given to every detail. He pushed his shoulders through slowly ripping his chest and back. His rib cage began to crack and he felt one pierce his side right through from the inside out. The pain moved slowly down his body as he pushed. Not a whisper of distress was to be heard out of him. As the agony got to his knees he fell. No more pain was to be felt. The suffering was over. The heaven he plummeted through sent rushing air to cool the burning of his wounds. This air flowed through his mind and heart caressing them just as much as it blanketed his body.

Sean turned off the television. It was as if nobody except himself and her existed. When he looked in her eyes, he didn't just see her, he felt her. He felt every smile as if he was smiling. He knew the thoughts behind every expression her face could make. Ultimate joy and happiness flowed around them in auras that even they couldn't explain. He felt as if his very soul was glowing when he was with her, and he knew she felt the same. They shared each others lives as if the two were one. But recently something happened. She became distant. She couldn't look him in the eyes anymore and did her best to avoid him. When he did catch a glimpse of her eyes he didn't recognize what he saw. She seemed consumed with guilt and fear. He became convinced that something very serious was wrong, but he decided not to pressure her into anything. He had confidence in her, and decided that she would tell him in her own time. No matter how much he wanted to confront her he wouldn't, until after about two weeks when he couldn't take it anymore. He had been constantly worried, so much so that it began affecting his life. Rushing home from work anxious to know what was wrong and still so worried about what it was, a thousand thoughts ran through his mind. But all this changed to shock when, as he walked in the door she was standing there, staring at him. An almost evil smile painted onto what used to be his wife’s face, the look had changed in her eyes.

She acted as if nothing had happened. She made him dinner and made simple conversation about his day at work with a hint of a patronizing tone in her voice. Sean didn't know what to make of all this. The only thought that came to his mind was to go along with her. But what could it have been that made her change so suddenly. Sean’s thoughts again started to wonder. He began thinking of every possible scenario his brain could imagine. Day in and day out she stayed the same and Sean could think of nothing else. He didn't know the woman he was living with. He became consumed with paranoia.

The next morning he stood outside the front doors to another day of trying to concentrate on acting civilized in front of the people he worked with for so many years, and might call friends. But the thought of spending another day around these people he supposedly knew, with a mind filled with worry and paranoia, made Sean turn away. Today he was not going to go to work. Today he had to save his marriage. He had to talk to her, how could it ever have worked if he didn’t?

The roses he had bought made him realize that time was going slow. It took them a lifetime to hit the ground after dropping from his hand. Another Lion had entered his den. A scream of rage and pure hatred blasted through his mind as the roses hit the deadened floor beneath his feet. He stared at the walls in a trance slowly watching them turn red. Time still moved slow. His gaze slowly moved towards his hand which he looked at in confusion. It slowly occurred to him that his hand was moving up and down, and that he was holding something.

His sight once again changed, this time moving downwards to where his hand was hitting. He didn’t recognize the face he saw. How could this be his wife? But this body was wearing his wife’s clothes. He had turned her face inside out. Reality came rushing back to him. Still hitting her with what he realized was the fire poker, he burst into tears. Then rage returned and he began to hit her with even more conviction, until shock exploded through him. He dropped back throwing the poker to the side. He clasped his knees tightly into his chest, hugging himself in desperation as he rocked back and forward in some vague attempt to try and make things better. But nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing could be better.

He paused to reminisce over their time together. His thoughts spoke to her. "So this is what it’s come to. After all we’ve been through this is the setting that we’ll say our goodbyes in. I don’t blame you. I know I probably didn’t pay you enough attention, or maybe too much? Maybe I didn’t see the signs? I thought we were strong. I know we had our problems, but I thought we could work them through together. I never thought we’d end up like this. Why didn’t you talk to me? Were you afraid I wouldn’t listen? Did you try? Maybe you tried and I didn’t listen. Why? So this is where we part. I always saw us growing old together." He began to cry, but just for a moment, then he gathered his thoughts and he began to speak to her. "I’m gona miss you. You were everything to me. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, but I guess I couldn’t give that to you. I wish I could have. Oh God! I am grateful for all our memories together. We had such a great time. Maybe we didn’t. Maybe it was only me having a great time." He held her lifeless body in his arms. Holding her so tight, but yet so gently. Were all those smiles real? Either way you are part of me forever. You made me who I am and for that I thank you, I just wish things could have turned out differently. I love you and always will, through the ages. Don’t ever forget that. Goodbye my angel. I hope you find peace and happiness." He leaned over and kissed her forehead, not caring for the mutilated condition it was in.
The Lion had entered his den. The animal in him reacted and now he had killed both of them. His life as he knew it was over, but instead of crumbling up, something else inside him awakened. Something animal like. He was a lion now. It was as if he had submerged in a new world. He was above everyone and everything else. An evil was unleashed within him, and he liked it.

Being a highly decorated, ex-soldier Sean was more than prepared to paint his anger on a world of rodents and parasites. A world of droids desperately looking for something to grasp hold of and make them feel that they exist for a reason. A nation of people deluding themselves so much that they become confused and are unable to see the reality that Sean sees. Sean sees power, chaos, destruction, death, drugs and sex.

The wind swept across the tall grass, creating a sea of rushing waves all around him. Slicing through air the helicopter above him lit up the ground which he ran across. Time slowed and the noise of the helicopter along with distant sirens was drowned out by silence. He came to a stop lost in a trance. The grass was filled with life, and Sean felt it. All the living surrounding him amazed him, each taking their own space in the busy path of life. He appreciated every blade of grass he stood on. Kneeling down to pick up a tulip which had weaved its way through some thick brambles, Sean suddenly hit the ground seeing nothing but pure white. A pure white that can only be seen on a clear day with the sun rising and a plane flying across the blue sky. As the sunlight reflected off the stream coming out of the plane, Sean tried to stare at the purity. A white so bright and powerful that it burned his eyes when he tried to look at it. And though it burned he continued to try soak in its happiness.

The darkness of night crept back and he focused again on reality. A bullet had entered his right shoulder blade and came through the front. The white soon cleared and he pulled his face out of the mud. Due to the helicopters propellers a strong wind grew around him, and the long grass which was at present covering him from the searching eyes of those that stood in his way, began to dance and sway in the swirling of the wind. The grass spread open revealing him, and as it did a light shone down. On his hands and knees he scrambled through the grass, and in a flash he was covered again, making good distance and changing direction regularly he realized that he had a few seconds on the helicopter. He stopped, listened and picked out a rough estimate as to where it was judging by the sound, even with the ringing in his ears. Lying on the flat of his back he gripped his .45 tight. He snapped back the barrel of the gun, sat up, took a single second to look around, left off 1 shot and lay back down. Then he pressed the heated barrel of the gun into the front of his shoulder to help stop the bleeding. He quickly began to scramble towards some trees he spotted, and as he did so, the helicopter came crashing down behind him, lighting up the sky as the explosion took out half a distant, vacant building.

He knew he was a good distance from the shelter of the forest, and he knew he was going to have to deal with more before he got there. He realized that he needed to be at his most alert and that he was going to have to forget the pain that pounded him from the hole in his shoulder, so he shut it out. It was either that or he was already dead.

He could hear cop cars closing in, and what sounded like five heavier vehicles, most likely special division. In the second he had spent looking around before shooting the tail blade of the helicopter, he had noticed a gas tank behind some wire fencing to the far right of him near the road. He knew that, if timed right, it could buy him some precious minutes. He moved his head up through the grass just enough so that he could see. He parted the blades at the top with his gun, took aim on the tank and waited. Within the exact instant that the lights from the police sirens touched the tank, Sean knew it was time and he left off one shot and then pressed the barrel into the back of his shoulder wound. The shot took out the first two cars, one of which veered into another car, which was to be hit by one of the vans. Men began to jump out of the back of the van lit up by the flames that engulfed them. The remaining three cop cars stopped to help the victims of the explosion. This meant that all he had to deal with were the four remaining special forces vans. He knew each of them was going to have exactly nine people inside, including the driver. They swung off the road and began to cross the field. He had to make the forest and use stealth through the camouflage of the trees if he was even going to begin to stand a chance.