Devil Said Bang (37 page)

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Authors: Richard Kadrey

Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #Urban, #Paranormal, #Horror

BOOK: Devil Said Bang
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“Does someone tell you to kill other ghosts?”

“No. They’re mostly his and don’t run too fast, so
I just do it. But the people. I like killing them. The ones that deserve
it.”

“How do you know they deserve it?”

“I just do. I feel it inside when the man gives me
their names.”

“Teddy?”

“The cruel one tried to kill me, you know. You’re
not going to kill me now?”

“Not now.”

“I’ll only kill you if I have to.”

“Thanks. You know, cruel ones tried to control me
and make me do bad things. Maybe I can help you get free and you can stop
killing.”

She holds out her hands and spins.

“I’m Lamia. I breathe death and spit
vengeance.”

She drops her arms and sits in the dirt. She rubs
her eyes, suddenly a tired, dirty little girl.

“I’m sleepy. I don’t want to talk anymore.”

“Are you going to kill more people?”

She curls up on the ground in her party dress.

“Oh yes. Lots. The sky will be all sorts of funny
colors.”

Along the edge of the crater are the gangs of
murdered kids. They’re cut up but they’re not scared of Lamia. Whatever happened
to them, she didn’t do it.

Cherry is waiting when I climb back up to the
street. She runs over and grabs my arm. I keep walking.

“You didn’t kill her. Why not?”

“I’m not ready. I know a part of what’s going on
but not enough. Until I do, I’m not killing the only thing that might be able to
give me answers.”

“And what about us? What happens when she comes for
us?”

“Has she ever attacked you personally?”

“No.”

“Then you’re safe.”

“How do you know?”

“ ’Cause ghosts like you aren’t on her hit list and
it’ll be a while before you are. Long enough for you to wise up and move
on.”

“How do you know?”

“Drop it.”

Cherry gets in my way.

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re not one of His, which means you’re
one of mine. That means you’re definitely damned. And she’s not after the damned
yet.”

Cherry takes a couple of steps back. Puts a hand
over her mouth.

“You bastard.”

“You don’t have to wait around for her. Get out of
here and save yourself.”

She leans against the ruins of the Chinatown arch,
resting her ridiculous cartoon face in her hands.

“Go away, James. You let me down again. You’re no
better than Parker.”

“Take care of yourself. Think about what I
said.”

I head back to Tenebrae Station. The crowd follows
me to the stairs but none of them follows me down.

“Any of you can leave too. You don’t have to live
like this.”

I climb down into the tunnel and walk back into the
dark.

And open my eyes, flat on my back in my room in the
Chateau. Kasabian limps away from the circle with my shirt in his hand. There’s
a smeared spot on the tile where he broke the bloody circle.

I sit up. There are clots of blood on my arms and
in my hair. I stink from sweat. But there’s one nice surprise. The wound the Imp
gave me is completely closed. There isn’t even a scar.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

“Best news I’ve heard all day,” he says. “Now
here’s some for you. The rope and poison industries are way up in Hell. Suicide
looks like the new thing with the cool kids. Those demonic sad sacks don’t need
back into Heaven. They need a teddy bear, a warm glass of milk, and some
Prozac.”

I
take
a hot shower and go back to the living room. Kasabian has the news on with the
sound turned down. The shots are fast and jittery, like whoever has the camera
is running.

“Do you know about the Mile High Club?”

He doesn’t look up from the big plate of fried
shrimp he’s shoving into his face.

“Sure. Mason talked about them sometimes.”

I’m so out of the goddamn loop.

He points to the flat-screen with a shrimp in one
of his metal doggie hands.

“Did you see when you came in? Big Bill Wheaton is
dead. Laid low by the crazy little ghost not five minutes ago at a press
conference he called to—you’ll love this—announce a special serial-killer task
force. Is that fucking funny or what?”

He eats half the shrimp in one bite.

“They sure it wasn’t a volcano or dinosaur?”

“Nah. That stuff seems to have calmed down
some.”

If that’s your doing, Patty, thanks.

“If you know something about that stuff, keep it to
yourself. I’m working on some serious denial over here,” says Kasabian.

I button another of Samael’s dark shirts over the
armor.

“A while back you said that spending all that time
alone at Max Overdrive, you’d developed some nefarious computer skills.”

“Yeah. You looking for missile-launch codes
now?”

“No. Child murders. Maybe ritual killings. Not
beaten or abused, just cut up. See if you can find anything.”

He frowns.

“What, the mayor getting murdered by a ghost isn’t
interesting enough for you?”

Big Bill’s bloody mug fills the TV screen. One
clean slash across his throat. A long defensive wound across both arms. The cuts
are deep red valleys in his skin. They almost look fake, the way violent death
often does. The camera stays on Bill for a long time. Somewhere in L.A., a news
director thinks he’s going to win an Emmy but all he’s really going to get are
bad dreams.

“You think the dead kids have something to do with
the Spirograph sky and the girl?”

“Look for possessed children too. The village
murdered the Imp because she was a monster. Maybe there are other monster
tots.”

“This shit’s depressing, man.”

“Try to squeeze it in between looking for
Brigitte’s videos. Pretty please with shut-the-fuck-up on top.”

Ain’t this the funniest thing since corn beef hash?
Here I am looking for big bad King Cairo and scary Aelita, and Captain Beige has
been running the girl all along. I’m still going to kill the other two but now I
have to pay Teddy a visit and make him tell me his deepest darkest secrets. It’s
great timing. I really need to hit someone.

Hell looks better and better the longer I’m here. I
knew there was no one to trust and no one I could count on besides Wild Bill.
One guy in a land of billions. I bragged to Saint James about people who’d watch
my back in L.A. but who’s that now? Allegra and Vidocq won’t be inviting me over
for whist anytime soon. Candy is Switzerland. Neutral territory between hostile
nations. Kasabian is a half-broken whiner. Maybe I should have sucked up my
pride and merged or whatever it is I was supposed to do with Saint James. At
least I’d have the Key. Then I’d be able to walk away from this veil of shit.
But I had to shoot my mouth off. And Saint James is right. I’m usually the one
backing us into corners. He was the smart one who got us out. I got us out too
sometimes but mostly by shooting out the windows, jumping, and hoping there was
something besides dead air on the other side. If he shows up again and doesn’t
want me to grovel, maybe I’ll give merging a shot. What I’m doing now isn’t
doing me any good.

My phone rings. This time I check the caller
ID.

“Father. Nice to hear from you but this is a bad
time. Can we talk after I beat the holy hell out of someone?”

“We really should talk now. I think what’s
happening is bigger than a ghost and a few murders.”

“A lot of murders. The girl. The Imp. She’s the
center of it. Someone is controlling her.”

“How do you know?”

“I went to the land of the dead and asked her.”

“You can’t stay away from dark places, can you?
Please. We really need to talk.”

“I’m on my way to Malibu.”

“Good. I’ll drive you. We can talk in the car.”

“Okay. Come to the Chateau Marmont and call me from
out front. If anyone gives you trouble, tell them you’re here for Mr.
Macheath.”

“Like Mack the Knife Macheath?”

“Yeah. If you’re good, I’ll do my Bobby Darin for
you. Call me when you get here.”

I’m checking my guns when someone pounds on the
other side of the grandfather clock. Suddenly I’m in Grand Central fucking
Station. The knocking gets louder.

“Hey, Old Yeller, can you get off your fat ass and
let whoever that is in? I’m trying to get dangerous.”

I hear Kasabian grumbling and thumping across the
living room and opening the door. He says a few words to someone and thumps
back.

“Hey, you.”

I swing around.

“Candy? What are you doing here?”

She looks a little pale and worn. She still has on
her torn shirt. Underneath it are fresh bandages stained with Betadine. She has
a
Cowboy Bebop
backpack slung over one shoulder.
Comes into the bedroom, where I have all my guns laid out. She drops the
backpack on the floor. Winces as she sits down.

“Do you mind if I crash here for like ever? Allegra
just fired me. And I think Rinko and I just broke up. It was hard to tell with
all the screaming and her throwing things. Did something happen with you
two?”

“She just wanted to unstitch my seams is all. I
already have a roomie,” I say, nodding to Kasabian. “But it’s a big place. I
think we can squeeze you in.”

She smiles and lies back next to the guns.

“This is a big bed. Think maybe I could stay in
here with you? I promise to be good.”

“Good people end up on the couch. Only the bad ones
get an all-access pass.”

“I’ll do my evil best to stay off the couch,
sir.”

I lie down next to her. She slides against me.

Someone knocks on the bedroom doorframe.

“We’re out of beer,” says Kasabian. Then, when he
sees us, “Oh Christ. Is this turning into a domestic bliss situation? I can’t
stand that
It’s a Wonderful Life
crap. Take me back
and let me die at Max Overdrive.”

“Be nice, Kas, and I’ll loan you my
hentai
discs,” says Candy.

Kasabian frowns.

“Schoolgirls and tentacles? No thanks. I prefer my
porn mammal-only.”

“Hot cow-on-cow action. I like it,” Candy says.

Kasabian puts his hands up in an “I’ve had enough”
gesture.

“I’ll leave you degenerates to work out whatever it
is you’re working out. Just remember that I claim the bedroom at the far end of
the place. It has the second biggest TV.”

I look at Candy.

“As much as I’d like to give you a proper naked
welcome, I have to go and see a man about a ghost. You know where the food is.
Please make Kasabian watch whatever you think will annoy him most.”

“Where are you going? Can I come along?”

“You got knifed a few hours ago, so no.”

“She just got skin. She didn’t even hit
muscle.”

I put on my boots and check my ammo.

“No.”

She sits up.

“Seriously, we talked about this. When you run off
somewhere you might not come back from, I go with you. No more stoic
monosyllabic bullshit.”

I set aside the Glock and put the .45, the knife,
and na’at in my coat. I hate that Candy is right. We made a deal and I don’t
want to be an overprotective liar right off the bat. There’s plenty of time for
that later.

“Okay. But you stay behind me if the things heat
up. No going Jade and eating people. It’s my circus and I’m the ringmaster. Got
it?”

“What does that make me?”

“You’re the head clown. You get out of the little
car first while the others are still crushed inside.”

“And when they’re out, you know what we’re
doing?”

“What?”

“Clown-car sex.”

I hope Traven gets here soon.

T
raven
calls twenty minutes later. Candy and I go down and meet him out front.

She brings the folding pistol with her. She’s
already covered the case with
InuYasha
and
Samurai Champloo
stickers. I’m not sure if that’s
technically low profile but the case looks more like an eighth grader’s lunch
box than a gun tote, so I guess it works.

Traven is in the car when we get there. He’s
uncomfortable in the presence of the last few beautiful people fleeing the
hotel. Their opulence and generic decadence must be like seeing Martians to a
cloistered brainiac like him.

“Thanks for the ride, Father.”

“I’m glad to help. You picked a good day to go to
the ocean. Most sensible people—”

“Let me guess. Are hunkering down because the sky
is plaid and Godzilla is fighting with Paul Bunyan in the Scientology building
parking lot.”

“I’ll drive and you’ll see.”

“Hi, Father,” says Candy.

He smiles to her in the rearview mirror.

“It’s good to see you.”

Traven drives west on Sunset and I do see. The sky
isn’t a bad color but the light pulses like a slow strobe. It’s the kind of
thing that could give you a migraine if you stared at it long enough. Farther
down Sunset, it gets more interesting. Sometime during the night, cars,
mailboxes, stoplights, and telephone poles sank a foot into the roadbed like
someone turned on a hot plate below the street. Traven’s Geo Metro bounces over
asphalt frozen into low waves. Cop cars block side streets that have collapsed
into sinkholes. A few look like they’re floating several feet in the air. The
PTSD Hell flashbacks are coming on strong. At least there’s not much
traffic.

“Do you still want to go all the way to
Malibu?”

“I have to but you don’t,” I say. “Drop us off and
I can steal something.”

He shakes his head.

“No. I want to tell you a story and I’d like to
tell it now. It has to do with the Qomrama Om Ya and it ties into all this
madness.”

“The ghost girl too. She’s scared to death of
it.”

“You showed it to her?”

“I hit her with it. It’s the only thing that
stopped her. And she has a name. Lamia.”

“Are you absolutely sure about that?”

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