Devil's Despair Box Set: Books 1-3 (50 page)

“Hey,” I whisper, waiting to see if he’s awake. I can’t see his face; it’s leaning against his arm wrapped around the lid.

His eyes come up, shiny and red. “Hey,” he utters quietly.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Towel.”

Reaching up behind him, I grab a towel from the closet and hand it to him. He wipes his face and hands, and starts to stand. I run the water in the sink and prepare a washcloth. Having a father who was often found in the same condition, I know the steps to recovery. I’ll get crackers and iced tea once I know he’s ready.

“Thanks.” He grabs the washcloth, rubbing it along his face. “Extra toothbrush by any chance?”

Looking under my sink, I find one still in the package I purchased it in. “Here.”

“Got a stock of these, huh?” I don’t miss his sarcasm, but I choose to ignore it.

“I’ll be in the kitchen.”

He nods and shuts the bathroom door behind me once I’m out.

As I’m making my dad’s hangover remedy, I hear him come in from behind me and pull a chair out to sit. “My ribs hurt. I don’t remember ever being that sick.”

“You drank tonight before you left The Ward and then at home. Lace mentioned tequila.”

“Her fuckin’ idea. I never touch the shit, you know that.”

“But you did last night,” I reply, realizing he must have been desperate.

“I did last night,” he repeats, looking at the table in thought. “Hayden, do you even like her?”

“Yes.” I don’t hesitate to give him the truth.

“It bothers me, Hayden. It does. The last few years have been hard to watch. You go through women like it’s nothing, like they don’t matter.”

“I’m not the only one being used. They use me, too.”

“Guess I don’t see the comparison because I don’t give a fuck about them, just you.” He stops talking and stares at the table for a few minutes. Then I hear him voice another thought. “She was really fuckin’ pissed at me last night.”

I laugh quietly, trying to respect his headache, but the image of her and the throw pillows causes me to release the tension. “Yeah, she was.”

“Before we got here . . . she threatened me.”

“What?”

“She told me if she ever saw me treat you like that again she’d find somewhere else to stay ’til she gets her own place.” I don’t say anything as he continues to struggle through last night’s recollection. “When I saw the two of you . . .” Waiting for me to interrupt, he stops then continues when his eyes find mine. “I shouldn’t have reacted like I did.”

“Is that an apology?”

“No.”

Didn’t think so.

I sit back in my chair, running a hand through my hair. The morning rays are starting to make their way through my living room; it sheds a dull light on the issues from last night. “I like her.”

“You like women,” he corrects, wiping his brow with the washcloth then tossing it to the side. “She’s my kid sister.”

“She’s an adult.”

“I know.”

Silence sits between us briefly before I break it. I want this done and over before she wakes up. “Travis, you’re my best friend. Whatever it is you need, I’ll do. If you say to walk away from her, I will. I don’t want to, but I will.”

“I know. I knew that last night. I’m pissed you didn’t talk to me first.”

“It happened fast,” I defend.

“Hayden, all your relationships, if that’s what you’d call them, happen fast.”

“My
feelings
for her happened fast.”

“Feelings?”

I start to explain, then stop. I don’t know exactly what my feelings are. It’s not fair to me or her to put a label on any of this and it sure as fuck isn’t fair for Travis to judge.

Turning his head to look at the bay window of my condo, he folds his hands in front of him on the table and laces his fingers in contemplation. “Take care of her. Be honest about how you feel. I don’t want to lose either of you, but if it goes bad, I will.”

His insinuation of blood being thicker than water isn’t lost on me. The risk I’m taking is a big one if I’m risking the loss of Travis and most likely the others. They’ll side with him as they think they know me.

They don’t.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” he asks with less anger.

“She knows what she’s doing.”

“Didn’t ask that.”

“It’s new, Travis,” I sigh. “We’re having fun.”

“I know,” he agrees, but not without reservation. “For me, please, just take it easy.”

“I can do that.”

“I’m going to talk to her myself. I want you to know if I can talk her out of this, I will.”

“I understand.” I don’t like it, but I do understand Travis’s need to control and protect. I’m not unsure I wouldn’t do the same if I were in his position.

“I never expected you to . . .”

“What?” I cut him off, bracing for an added insult.

He raises his face to meet mine and a look of relief and honesty smother him. “You found someone.”

“I found someone I like a lot.”

“That’s more than I ever thought you’d find.”

“And she’s your sister,” I joke. “Guess sex talk is off.”

He winces, holding his head in his hands, and looks down at the table. “Ace fucks my best friend. You fuck my sister. Toby’s not like us; he doesn’t ever talk about him and Marlee. I’ve got nothing.”

“Find someone.”

“I’ll wait.” He smiles. “See how you and Lacey end up.”

“Cheat.”

Shrugging, he smirks again. “Maybe, but as much as I hate the idea of you and Lacey, I’ll watch and see how this shit plays out before I jump into a relationship.”

* * *

Lacey

Squinting against the sun shining through the window, I shield my eyes and rise myself on one elbow. I’m in Hayden’s bed alone. Looking around the room to find a clock, I freeze when I catch it’s past noon.

I slept the whole damn morning!

Getting up and dressing quickly, I mentally relive what happened last night, Travis’s drunken threats to ‘beat Hayden’s ass’ ringing like alarm bells in the back of my mind. I race to the bathroom, first things first, and grab Hayden’s toothbrush and clean up.

Opening the bathroom door, I find Travis standing outside of it. He’s a nice shade of well-deserved green. I offer a knowing smile, letting on that I don’t sympathize with his state of sickness.

“You done?” His groggy voice and angry stare causes me to jump back a step. “I just need the restroom, Lacey. Too much tea.”

“You stink.”

“You’ve mentioned that before, little sister.” His eyebrow cocks to catch my attention.

“Can you move?”

Sidestepping out of his way with the fear of being vomited on, I walk in the kitchen area to find Hayden sitting at the table looking clean and rested.

“Hey,” he says while peering at me over his coffee. “Want a cup?”

“No. I don’t drink that crap. Got an energy drink around?”

He scrunches his nose like a girl as he heads toward the refrigerator. “Sit,” he commands. He’s shirtless and for the first time in as many times as we’ve slept together, I’m able to admire his bare chest and arms. His sweat pants hang loosely and comfortable around his hips. When I get a look at his back, corded with muscles from shoulder to shoulder, I catch myself ogling and make the mild attempt to stop.

God, he’s beautiful.

“How long have you been up?” I ask, pulling myself from staring.

“Since I heard Travis hurling in my bathroom a few hours ago.”

“He’s sick, huh?”

“Yeah. You could say that.”

Hayden sets the coffee, milk, and sugar in front of me. “It’s what I got. Drown it in milk and live. You’ll be okay.”

“Fine,” I say, skipping the spoon and pouring the sugar directly in the coffee. I hear him utter under his breath something about cavities and diabetes, but it’s too early in my morning to care.

“Are you and Travis okay?” I ask, angrily stirring the coffee while remembering my brother’s asshat antics last night.

“We talked.”

“And?”

“And, he’s not happy.”

I don’t have the answer, but I’m curious to get his take on it. “What are we that he’s so not happy about?”

He smirks as he looks down at the table before answering the question I’ve hung out between us. “We’re crazy good together and you mentioning my cock last night was fucking awesome by the way. Nicely played, Lace.”

“He pissed me off,” I grumble into my cup of nasty. I need a Monster.

“I could tell.”

Dropping my spoon beside my cup, my patience with all of this has worn thin. I straighten my posture to brace for the answer I’m not sure I’m ready to hear. I like Hayden, a lot. And it goes without saying that I like the things he does to my body, how he makes me feel with just his words and how easy we are when we’re together.

As a woman, though, I need clarification. “What are we doing, Hayden?”

He starts to smile, again looking at me over his coffee. He puts it down and rests his arms on the table. I’m sensing a smart-ass comment coming, so I stop it, raising my hand to silence him. “Not literally and right this minute, either. I mean, we’re having sex—really good sex—but what does that mean?”

“What does it mean?”

“Yes,” I say, somewhat annoyed he’s not helping me through this. “I’ve never had casual sex. You have. How does this work? I mean, are we done? Are we friends?” Leaning my elbows to the table and putting my hands on my forehead, I confess, “God, I sound ridiculous.

“I’d like us to be exclusive.” The words come out like a painful confession and I’m unsure he means them or means for them to hurt me less than any other truth he’s holding back.

“Exclusive?”

“Yes.”

“Like a couple?” I reach for further clarification.

“No.” He stops, running his hands through his hair. “I mean, I’d like us to
fuck
exclusively.”

“You don’t want me to fuck other men, just you.” I repeat what I think he’s saying, ensuring I heard him correctly. “And you fuck only me, not any of the members of Hayden’s Harem?”

“Hayden’s Harem?”

My eyebrows furrow as my mind clicks past each woman I saw gape at his beauty while offering themselves to him. “Isn’t that what they are?”

“No. They’re—”

“Exactly.” I cut him off, not interested in hearing about any of them. “So, you and I would be exclusive.”

“Yes,” he answers while nodding.

“That’s a couple, Hayden.”

“No. A couple wants to spend all waking hours together. A couple makes plans for the weekend and goes out in public together.”

“Couples date, you mean. And show affection toward one another.”

“Yes. That’s not what we are.”

“We’re fuckers.” I offer the term while grinning at him.

“What?” he asks, obviously confused.

“Fuckers. We fuck. We don’t love each other like lovers, and you don’t like me enough to date me, so we’re fuckers.”

He sighs in exasperation. “I like you enough, but I’m not the dating type.”

“You’re letting them define you.” I remind him of last night and the point I tried aimlessly to make.

“I was defined at birth. It’s genetic,” he states with certainty.

“Your dad.” A statement not a question. Giving in to this absurd situation, I give my final thought. “We can see how it goes. It’s an awkward arrangement.”

Emptying his cup by taking his last drink, he starts to stand. “You’re awkward anyway, so you’re already getting it.”

“Wait. Stop.” I grab his hand as he walks by me. “Will you still flirt and try to seduce me?”

“Yep. You got it. As long as you’re in my bed, you’ve got my full attention.”

“That’s not a bonus, Hayden.”

“That hurts.”

We hear a groan coming from the hallway, taking away from our conversation, and find Travis standing at the entrance to the kitchen looking tired and frustrated. “I need to go home. I need sleep.”

“I’ll take him. Lacey, you can hang here.”

“I need to go, too. I’m not letting him stay home alone while he’s sick. He may choke on his own malicious words and I don’t want to miss it.”

Travis moves to the couch and finding his boots, he sits down and starts to put them on. “God, you’re so fucking mean. I’m sick,
Lacey.
”

“Oh, the whining! You’re self-induced sick,
Travis.
”

He doesn’t answer. I feel Hayden come up behind me, wrap his arms around my waist and the memory of last night in his bed makes me wish I could stay, but I need time alone with my big baby of a brother. He and I need to be okay.

“Text me something really dirty later,” I hear him whisper against my neck before he kisses it gently.

“I’ll flirt crudely through the written word.”

“Good,” he answers, giving me a slap to my ass as he pushes me away. Trav’s eyes narrow at the sound of my yelp.

“Let’s fuckin’ go already.” Trav turns to Hayden before walking out the door. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Hayden nods before he bends to kiss me quickly before shutting the door behind us.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Hayden

EXCLUSIVE.

This term doesn’t scare me as I had thought it would. I’ve been exclusive, somewhat, with Jenna. Lacey doesn’t compare and it’s a facet of this which I’ve not yet wrapped my feelings around.

After cleaning up after Travis and showering, I find my phone blinking with a message. Thinking it’s from Lacey, I smile with absurdity as I look forward to her dirty texting.

I’m disappointed when I find it’s not from her, but from Ace.

Ace 01:43 p.m.
Bean wants the boys over for dinner tonight. Make yourself available.

I see Travis is still up and moving around among the living judging by his reply to the group text. He’s texted back already. This means Lacey hasn’t smothered him with a pillow yet.

Travis 01:48 p.m.
The boys?

Then I see Ace has informed us of Bean’s intent.

Ace 01:49 p.m.
Yes. Her words specifically. Be there at five-thirty. I wouldn’t be late, Hayden. She asked if you were gonna make it. I answered for you. You’re welcome.

I don’t text back; instead, I sit back on my couch, close my eyes and wonder what’s up Bean’s sleeve. The woman bribes us all with food and her cooking is the shit. It’s her way of trapping us for any amount of time and keeping our attention.