Devil's Touch (23 page)

Chapter 28

A cold gust of wind fills the lobby and several of the people visiting the hospital pull their jackets tighter around them. The receptionist is trying to keep her papers from flying away. The wind also reaches Evy and she can feel the cold running over her skin even though she’s wearing a new set of clothes that she has bought in the small hospital shop. Today she had realized that she has no one she can call. No one who can bring her some clothes, no one to pick her up. There’s a dark, painful void where her family should have been, and she realizes all too clearly that she is all alone. She pulls her jacket closer around her body and pulls up the hood on her new hoodie over her head.

"But I promise I’ll come back."

"I want my money now, or I’ll call the cops."

Evy sighs.

"But I can’t give you that. My money is in my flat. For God’s sake, I’ve just come home from the hospital. Someone tried to cut my throat five days ago. It wasn’t like the paramedics closed the door neatly behind them and gave me a key. I have to call to get the key first."

"Then make the call now while you’re here in the car."

Evy stares at him and nods while she turns on the phone praying that there’s enough power left so she can call the doorman. The phone switches on, but there’s disturbingly little power left on it. She lets out a loud sigh when she hears the voice on the other end. She avoids having to explain what happened five nights ago and before long Henderson is standing next to the cab and opens the door for her.

"I want my money."

"Then you can come up with me."

Evy is obviously irritated.

"What is the problem?"

"I don’t have any money on me. When the ambulance came for me I didn’t think to bring my bag."

"Hang on."

After Evy gets out, Henderson gets in the back and takes out some notes from his pocket. Then he gets out and slams the door hard.

"There, now we don’t have to worry about him anymore. Let me take you up."

"I’ll give you the money when we’re in my flat.”

"You can just pay me back when you want. It doesn’t have to be today."

"Thank you."

They walk in silence and when the elevator doors close behind them she can feel the fear taking hold on her. The elevator is slower than usual and she feels how Henderson is watching her. When they reach her front door he puts the key in the door and looks at her.

"You know that no one has cleaned your place up, right? It’s just as the police left it."

The air seems bitterly cold and Evy starts to shiver and is trying hard not to faint.

"Are you OK?"

Evy manages to focus on Henderson.

"No one has cleaned up?"

Henderson shakes his head.

She leans against the doorframe.

"But I have nowhere else to go..."

Henderson looks at her for a long time.

"There’s the hotel further down the road."

Evy looks at him for a long time and then she nods slowly. A feeling of being abandoned overshadows everything. She closes her eyes and feels the tears coming.

"Are you OK? Shouldn’t you have stayed at the hospital?"

"Maybe. I just wasn’t prepared for this."

She opens her eyes and looks directly into Henderson’s. He takes a step back and stares at her.

"I have no choice."

Evy takes his hand away from the key.

"Thanks for helping me out. I’ll make sure you get your money back in the next few days."

He nods and steps back to let her pass. She tries to smile but fails and just nods.

"I’ll be OK."

He nods.

"Call me if you need anything."

She clearly hears the beep from her phone and knows that it’s almost out of power. She turns the key in the lock but Henderson doesn’t leave.

"It’s OK."

"I’ll just stay here for a little while in case you need me."

"I won’t."

Her voice is firm but she knows that it probably won’t stay that way. He nods and stays where he is.

"I’ll just stay here for a little while."

She turns away from him and carefully turns the key in the lock. The door opens as usual and for a moment everything seems normal. It’s dark in the apartment, there’s only a faint light coming from the bedroom. She reaches out her hand and switches on the light. The smell of the apartment meets her and she steps onto the thick carpet that gives way under her. She’s OK and turns to nod at Henderson who finally nods and leaves. She looks at the living room. It looks familiar and she’s starting to feel warm again. She puts the key down on the table just inside the door and stands in the middle of the living room with her back to the bedroom. She relaxes more and more and feels confirmed in her decision to leave the hospital. It feels like forever before she finally pulls herself together. She slowly turns to face the bedroom. The double doors are wide open. She can see the clotted blood that has already turned brown. She slowly starts to walk over to the light. She sits down in the door and relives what happened. She feels the pain from her cut and tears are streaming down her face. She doesn’t make a sound. Her eyes focus on every piece of glass from the mirror, every bloodstain on the bed and the floor before they stop at the door of the walk-in closet. She gets up slowly and feels how stiff her legs are from sitting on the floor. She waits for a minute before walking over to the closet and carefully opening the doors. The lights come on and she lets out a deep sigh.

"Thank you."

She looks up at the ceiling.
”I wouldn’t have been able to stand it if anyone had gone through my clothes.”
She smiles a little before she walks in and closes the door behind her. She falls into the deep armchair in the corner under the lamp and stares into space full of thoughts.

"Now what, Evy."

Her mumbling voice disappears in the clothes around her and she moves her one foot back and forth on the carpet in front of her.

She notices the corner of a box sticking out from behind the clothes. The cardboard box she had tried so hard to forget years ago. Evy slides down from the chair and gets comfortable on the floor before slowly pulling it toward her. The cardboard seems strangely greasy and she has to take a firmer hold before she manages to pull it over. She recognizes her mother’s handwriting. The way she wrote her d’s with a very recognizable, almost completely round curve. She had often thought of bringing some of the things she had kept with her mother’s writing on them to a graphologist, but she had never gotten round to it. Her index finger tracks her mother’s handwriting:
Linda’s things.
She carefully lifts the lid of the box. The cardboard is sticky and she has to pull harder before the lid finally comes off. Linda’s diaries are packed tightly in the box and she carefully lifts out each one checking the year on the cover. She realizes that Linda has kept a diary since she was thirteen.
”I just didn’t know that. And why didn’t I know that?”
She relaxes her shoulders and a tear hits the diary on the top. She looks down and sees how the tear is slowly absorbed by the dark brown leather next to the gold writing
Diary
. She picks up the small teddy bear that always used to sit on Linda’s desk. She had found it on her first day of school and had kept it on her desk ever since.
”She even brought it to all her exams.”
She puts it down on one of her thighs and looks at the dark brown diary again. It’s much fancier than the others that just have plastic covers in different colors. Some of them are clearly older and have covers that a child would choose, but the brown leather one looks more like a diary for grown-ups and looks both old-fashioned and more expensive. She picks it up. The leather feels soft against her fingers and the tear has now left a dark stain on the cover. She tries to wipe it off but it has penetrated the leather.
”This is the last one.
” She flips it back and forth and something falls out. She looks down and there on her thigh, next to the teddy bear, there’s a small piece of paper that also belongs to her own past. She carefully closes the diary again and puts it down. Then she gets up and picks up the teddy bear and the piece of paper. She puts the teddy bear carefully on a shelf so it leans against her clothes. She holds the piece of paper in her hand. She looks in her purse that is still lying on the shelf where she had left it after taking out her credit card. She drops it on the floor while her eyes looks from one business card to the other. They are identical. She puts her hand over her mouth before dropping back down in the chair. She looks at the teddy bear and her words come out like a long sigh.

"Oh, Linda."

She vividly remembers the drive in the limo and how she had felt increasingly uncomfortable sitting next to Stuart after the party all wet with champagne. She still remembers how she had realized right then and there that her life had become something she really didn’t want to be a part of, however tempting the card had seemed. But every time she sat with the card in one hand and the phone in the other, it had been too big a decision for her, and she had put down the phone every time. Sitting in her chair now, she realizes why she has never thrown the card away. She’s still thinking of using it. She lets go of the cards, leans over, and picks up the diary and starts to read.

"Dear Diary,

I’ve had a wonderful day. I was waiting for the bus when a limo pulled over. The driver jumped out and opened the door for a man in a dark blue coat who got out fast. The driver was handsome. I smiled at him and he smiled back. Oh, my God. He waited until the man had disappeared into the building and then he came over. We talked for a while and I let the bus drive past. He offered to take me home. It was wonderful. All I want is to try it again. Dear diary, the driver is called Jan. He let me out down the street from our house, so I could walk the rest of the way home. He gave me his card. He told me I could call him anytime."

Evy cautiously reads on.

"Dear Diary,

I called Jan today. He was so sweet. He told me many times how sweet and beautiful I am. It’s so wonderful. I’m meeting him later in the city.

"Dear Diary,

I’m all smiles. Jan just dropped me off. He let me drive in the limo again. He got out after parking it. When he opened the door and got in the back my heart skipped a beat. He’s so wonderful."

Evy shakes her head while her heart is screaming. Her eyes search on, but there’s a gap of a few days.

"Dear Diary,

I’m in the seventh heaven. Jan is amazing. He’s sweet and considerate and is constantly telling me how sweet and lovely I am. He has told me several times that I’m beautiful enough to be a model."

”Oh, Linda.”
Evy looks away from the letters that have started jumping around on the pages in front of her.

”Oh, Linda.”

"I even think he’s talking about marriage and we’ve only known each other for a little over a week. Isn’t that incredible, dear diary? He says he has some money so we can leave the city and buy a small house. I think he wants a lot of kids just like I do."

Evy turns the page, but it’s empty. She turns to the next one, but there’s nothing until the third page.

"Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while, but I’ve been a little sad. Jan is in a bad mood these days. I had to talk him into seeing me. He says he’s under a lot of stress. I’ve promised to help him. I’m seeing him tomorrow."

Evy’s eyes search out the teddy bear sitting on the shelf in front of her. Its softness forms a sharp contrast to the sinking feeling in her stomach. Her finger runs along the spine of the diary. The leather is soft and pleasant to touch. It seems disturbingly reassuring.

"Dear Diary,

Things are much better between Jan and me. We see each other every day now, and he’s become the Jan I find so enchanting. I help him every day. When I finish school we meet up and he gives me some small parcels and a list of where to deliver them. He says it helps him so he has time to deal with other things. It also gives us time to be together. It’s not so bad. The neighborhoods are nice and Jan gives me money to take a cab to the addresses.  Some of the people who get the parcels act a little strange when they see me. There’s an address I usually go to where I didn’t go today - Jan says he hasn’t paid. I have to go there again tomorrow and Frans will come with me. I don’t really know Frans. I’ve seen him with Jan many times, but he has always left when I come."

"Dear Diary,

What a terrible day today. The visit at the place I usually go to went terribly wrong. Frans asked the person who lives there for the money. He promised to pay, but Frans just hit him in the face. Blood was running from his nose, and... I just ran away. It was awful. I called Jan from around the corner. He calmed me down and said that Frans just has a temper but that he would always do the right thing and that he was probably helping the man right now. I looked back and he was right: Frans was helping the man get in the house."