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Authors: Evangeline Anderson

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“All right, so the
dr’gin
chose Tess,” Becca said. “Then
Garron turned back to himself—his guy self I mean—and tried to attack Tess
because he’d basically had an asshole for breakfast—meaning Pierce.” She looked
hastily at Tess. “Oh sorry, I guess I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.”

“No, in this case you’re just
telling the truth,” Tess tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it. “And
you’ve got it all right so far. But then after I refused to…you know with
Garron, he turned back into his
dr’gin
and
left. And now you say he’s some weird word that means he’s crazy?”


D’fex.
And yes, he has for all intents and purposes lost his mind,”
Truth said, nodding. “He will be nothing but a dangerous, hungry beast
now—hunting for humans to eat wherever he is.”

“And all because I wouldn’t have
sex with him?” Tess was aghast. “This is
my
fault?”

“Of course not, honey!” Becca
protested. “Nobody could blame you for not wanting to get busy after just
watching your ex get eaten alive. You’d be some kind of psychopath if that kind
of thing turned you on!”

“But…we can fix it, right? I
mean, we can find him and…and…”

But both Truth and Becca were
shaking their heads.

“I’m sorry, Tess,” Truth said
quietly. “I am afraid Garron is lost to us now.”

“Lost to us? What is
that
supposed to mean?” The panic was
surging in her again and she had to fight to swallow it down and keep her voice
from trembling. “You don’t mean he’s permanently stuck in that form—in his
dr’gin
form, do you?”

“Unfortunately, that is exactly
what I mean.” Truth looked down at his hands. “He’s gone now. Gone for good. Everything
that made him a sentient creature has been obscured—buried permanently beneath
the beast mentality of his
dr’gin.
There
is no bringing him back.”

“What? But…no. No, I don’t
accept that.” Tess slammed down her mug so quickly that lukewarm tea sloshed
over the side and spilled on the floor.

“I’m afraid you have to accept
it, honey,” Becca said gently. “That’s just the way it is—Rai’ku Kindred
biology.”

“Well why didn’t someone
tell
me any of this?” Tess demanded.
“Why didn’t Garron happen to mention it? Why didn’t he say, ‘Hey, babe, if I do
happen to turn into a
dr’gin
and I
don’t
eat you up, I’m going to need for
you to have sex with me right away or I’ll be stuck as a
dr’gin
forever. Why didn’t he say that, huh?”

“I believe he was deeply ashamed
of what he was.” Truth looked up and the sorrow on his face really drove the
reality of the situation home to Tess. Garron really was lost—his brother was
already mourning him. He was gone.

“Ashamed?” she whispered.

“Because of his fear that he
would hurt the female he loved—first Nella and now you—he has hated the beast
inside him and hated himself for carrying it inside for years,” Truth said.

“Besides, he got that emotion
dampening implant,” Becca pointed out gently. “That was supposed to solve the
problem. There was no way he could know it would fail.”

“I guess not…” Tess sank back
down on the couch and buried her face in her hands. “Is there really no way at
all to bring him back?”

Truth shook his head. “Once a
dr’gin
turns
D’fex
there is no bringing it back.”

“But…but what if I went out in
the woods…went looking for him? What if I—?”

“Don’t you dare!” Becca looked
really alarmed. “It would be like hunting a man eating tiger!”

“Rebecca is right,” Truth said
firmly. “You would be courting your own death. There is nothing left of Garron
now but a very hungry beast. No Rai’ku male has ever been brought back to
himself once he has gone
D’fex.

“So that’s it then?” Tess sank
back against the couch feeling like someone had dipped her heart in lead. “He’s
really gone.
Permanently
gone?”

“I am afraid so.” Truth looked
away but not before she saw that his eyes were suspiciously bright.

“Truth, honey…” Becca put a hand
on his knee and he took it in his own and squeezed it.

“I should have done more to help
him,” he said in a low voice. “Should have found a way somehow…”

“You’re talking like he’s dead,”
Tess whispered, sitting up. “But he’s not—Garron is
not
dead. He’s still out there somewhere, alone in the mountains.”

“Everything that made him
Garron—that made him my brother—is dead,” Truth said harshly. “Dead or buried
so deeply there is no getting to it.”

“I know this is rough, Tess,”
Becca said softly. “Which is why Truth and I aren’t going to leave you. We’ll
take you back to Tampa
with us and make sure you’re settled.”

“I guess I
could
go back to Tampa
now,” Tess said numbly. “Garron took care of Pierce for me so there’s no reason
I couldn’t…couldn’t go back to my old life. I could even start nursing school
again if I wanted…”

“That’s the way to think,” Becca
said gently. “Go forward—look towards the future, not the past.”

“I’ll try. It’s just that…”
Tess’s breath hitched in her chest. “Just that even though I hadn’t known him
long we…we formed a connection. He was…Garron was so special. So wonderful…”

Now
you’re
doing it!
whispered a little voice in her head—the
voice of Tess BP and this time it sounded angry.
Listen to you—talking about him like he’s dead. Like he’s past tense.
This is the man you care about, Tess—the man you
love.
Are you really going to give up on him that easily?

The little voice was like a shot
in the arm. Tess squared her shoulders and took a deep breath.
No. No, I’m not! Garron is out there
somewhere—I just need to find him and bring him back to himself. That’s all.

But something told her
not
to tell Becca and Truth about her
determination to find Garron. They were both convinced that he was mindless and
dangerous and beyond help—if she told them she wanted to go looking for him
they would stop her. No, it was better to just slip away unnoticed and go on
her own.

“Would you excuse me?” she said.
“Too much tea—I’m going to the ladies room.”

She was half afraid that Becca
might decide to come with her but it was clear the other girl wanted some time
to comfort her man. Truth’s eyes were still bright and his jaw was clenched.

“Okay, hon,” Becca said
distractedly. “You go ahead. We’ll be here.”

“All right.” Tess nodded. She
wanted to say something else about how grateful she was that they had come down
to be with her, but she was afraid anything like that would sound like a
farewell and put them on alert. So she just nodded again and headed for the
ladies room as casually as she could.

She walked quickly and
purposefully in the direction of the bathrooms, which were located in the front
of the building. To be on the safe side, she pushed open the door to the
women’s room and went inside.

Once there, she counted to ten
and took a deep breath. She hated lying to her new friends like this but she
was sure Becca wouldn’t let her go without a fight. And right now, she didn’t
need any more drama. She just needed to go look for Garron.

She counted to ten again, then
opened the door a crack and looked out. Becca was turned away, speaking to
someone on one of the many public viewscreens—probably her other husband, Far.
Truth had his head in his hands.

Tess froze for a moment. Then
she left the ladies room as quietly as she could, palming the keys to the
truck, which were in the pocket of the baggy sweatpants, to keep them from
jingling.

Silently, she slipped out the
door and was gone.

Chapter
Thirty-eight

 

“Garron?
Garron?”
Tess’s throat hurt and her voice was hoarse from calling
so much. Her arms were scratched from several encounters with wild black
raspberry bushes and the stinging cut that ran from her temple to her jaw which
Pierce had made was bleeding again. She was a mess and the shadows in the woods
were growing long as sunset rapidly approached. Still, she didn’t want to give
up.

“Where
is
he?” she muttered to herself, pressing through another thick
copse of trees. The springy branch of a young alder sprang back and slapped her
in the face. Tess gave a little gasp and pressed a hand to her cheek. One of
the twigs had poked her in the face, just a fraction of an inch from her eye.
Maybe it was time to take stock before she blinded herself or bled to death
from a million tiny scratches.

“Garron, where
are
you?” she said softly. Then she
looked around her. “And where am
I?”

Lost,
that’s where you are,
whispered
a pessimistic little voice in her brain. Where was Tess BP when she needed her?
But the peppy cheerleader voice was conspicuously absent.

Tess pushed the idea of being
lost aside, refusing to panic, and looked around some more. Unfortunately,
nothing in this part of the woods looked remotely familiar.

She had set off late that
morning from the cabin, thinking to try and trace the
dr’gin’s
trail. Unfortunately, it had left no trace. No footprints
or broken branches—nothing at all as far as Tess could see.

Remembering the way it seemed to
float in the air, completely ignoring gravity, she supposed that made sense.
Still, she had hoped to find at least one or two clumps of its white
feather-fur caught in the branches of trees or bushes. But there was no sign that
the
dr’gin
had ever been there. It
was as if it had vanished into thin air.

Undeterred, Tess had set off to
circle the cabin, calling Garron’s name. Her circles had grown wider and wider
as the hours wore on until she found she had somehow spent almost all day in
the woods calling for him.

Maybe
you should head back,
whispered
the pessimistic voice in her brain.
If
you can
find
the way back, that is.
You can try again tomorrow. After all, it’s almost sunset now and I don’t think
you want to meet his dr’gin in the dark.

Tess had to admit that was true.
Meeting the beast with its razor sharp claws and knife-like teeth in the
daytime would be bad enough. But day or night, she had no idea what she was
going to do when she did meet it—if she ever met it at all. Should she call it
to her? Treat it like a dangerous dog that might bite? Would she even get a
chance to do any of that? What if it came at her from behind? What if it was
already stalking her? What if it was behind her right
now?

Stop
it!
Tess told herself
angrily.
Stop worrying so much. This is
Garron we’re talking about—he loves me! He won’t hurt me, in either form.

Oh
yeah? Then why did he attack you and almost rape you earlier?
whispered the voice.
Eating Pierce changed him. Going D’fex has probably changed him too.
At
least, Truth and Becca seemed to be convinced it had.

Well,
they’re wrong,
Tess told
the voice stubbornly.
Garron is still in
there, inside his dr’gin somewhere. I just have to find him so I can find a way
to get him out. I just—

A suddenly crackling in the
leaves behind her made her gasp and whirl around. There was nothing there on
first glance but then Tess was able to make something out. A pair of large,
yellow eyes was staring at her from between the leaves. Predator’s eyes.

“Uh…” Tess took a step back and
the owner of the eyes took a step forward.

When it came out from the
shadows of the trees, she had to bite back a gasp. It was a simply enormous
wolf with shaggy gray fur and glaring yellow eyes. It stared at her
unblinkingly and a long pink tongue came out to circle its jaws.

Oh
my God, it’s hungry! It’s licking its chops!

Tess’s heart started pounding
but she knew from experience that if you let a dog know you were afraid of it,
it would come after you. Taking a deep breath, she straightened up and looked
the wolf in the eyes.

“Get!” she said in her strongest
voice. “Go on, get!”

The wolf cocked its head to one
side, regarding her as if she was an interesting specimen it would like to
study. Or maybe a tasty morsel it would like to taste. Then it took another
step towards her.

“No,
get!”
Tess reached out blindly, trying to find any kind of a weapon
without taking her eyes off the huge gray predator. Her seeking hand found the
springy alder branch that had whipped her in the face earlier and she broke it
off with quick, jerky movements, her eyes glued to the wolf the entire time.

The wolf took another step
forward and she swished the branch at it. It was so close now that she smacked
the tip of its black nose.

The wolf jerked back and its
silky muzzle wrinkled into a snarl. It began to growl—a low rumbling like the
idling of a car that seemed to rise from deep in its throat.

“Get
back!”
Tess insisted, waving the branch at it again. “I mean it,
get
away
from me!”

She was backing up as she
spoke—which made it hard to appear confident and menacing but she tried. Then
her heel caught on a root and she went sprawling.

It happened in a second but it
seemed to take much longer. Tess gave a gasping cry and pinwheeled her arms,
trying to regain her balance. The wolf, no doubt sensing an easy supper,
crouched to leap on her.

Tess fell backwards, watching
helplessly as the lean, shaggy gray shape launched itself in her direction.
It’s going to kill me—kill me and eat me up.
Guess it’s my day to die after all…

But it wasn’t. Just as she could
see the wolf’s huge yellow eyes and its slavering jaws growing in her field of
vision, something long and sinuous and white appeared. It clamped the wolf in
its teeth and shook it until Tess heard a sharp
snap
and a piercing whimper.
The
blur of motion was suddenly still and the white form loomed over her. Tess was
finally able to see what had saved her.

“Oh my God….Garron?” she
whispered. It was indeed him—or his
dr’gin
at least. It floated in the air before her with its white feather-fur
flying in all directions, looking even more otherworldly now in the forest than
it had back at the cabin. The limp form of the wolf hung from its jaws.
“Garron?” she whispered again.

The
dr’gin
shook the beast in its jaws viciously and then let go with a
snap! The huge wolf went flying and slammed against a nearby tree trunk where
it crumpled to a silent heap on the ground, obviously dead.

“Garron?” Tess scrambled to her feet,
never taking her eyes from the floating form. It was looking at her again.
Giving her that unblinking glare that had so unnerved her at the cabin. What
was it thinking? Whether she would taste good for dinner? She would have
thought that eating someone as big as Pierce would keep it satisfied for awhile
but it was twilight now and her ex-husband had been devoured in the early
morning. Maybe the
dr’gin
had a
really fast metabolism. Maybe it was already hungry again. Maybe…

The brilliant, glowing turquoise
eyes, so like Garron’s, suddenly narrowed and the
dr’gin
inhaled deeply, its nostrils flaring as it sniffed the air.

Oh
my God, it’s smelling me. Becca and Truth were right. I’ve stranded myself in
the forest with the equivalent of a man eating tiger. I—

Her thoughts were cut off as the
dr’gin
lunged right at her.

Tess gasped as she was knocked
to one side. She heard a scuffle in the dried leaves and bushes right behind
her. A strangled snarl turned abruptly into a pained whimper.

Scrambling to turn around, she
saw the
dr’gin
had yet another wolf
in its jaws—it must have been sneaking up on her from behind.

One
more minute and I would have been wolf chow! It saved my life—twice. That has
to mean something, doesn’t it?

She didn’t get a chance to
answer her own question because off to her right she heard a long, low,
mournful howling.

“Crap!” she whispered in a
trembling voice. She peered into the forest but the dusk was deepening rapidly
and she couldn’t see a thing. Then she did—a pair of yellow eyes was approaching
and getting closer and closer. Not only that, but there wasn’t just one pair of
eyes. Several sets were speeding towards her in the darkness.

The howling sounded again, much
closer this time. Great—it wasn’t just one wolf or even two that had been
hunting her. There was a whole freaking pack.

She turned to the
dr’gin
which still had the limp body of
the second wolf dangling from its jaws. It met her eyes and swung its head,
casting the furry corpse out into the forest. Then it lowered itself until it
was horizontal to the leaf strewn forest floor and looked at Tess.

Tess looked back uncertainly.
Was it really indicating what she thought it was?

“Garron?” she asked softly,
taking a tentative step towards it. “Do…are you asking me to…to get on your
back?”

The
dr’gin
made a snorting sound and looked at her. Then it cast a
glance at the rapidly approaching wolf pack and looked at her again.

Don’t
do it!
whispered the voice
of panic in her brain.
It just wants to
take you off somewhere so it can eat you!

But what was her alternative?
Was getting eaten by the
dr’gin
really any better than being ripped apart by wolves? It was, as Di would have
said, six of one or half a dozen of the other.

The pack was almost on them
now—so close that Tess could see white teeth and long pink tongues as well as
yellow eyes coming at her from out of the dark trees. She hoped she wasn’t
interpreting the
dr’gin’s
signals
wrong but there was no more time to doubt.

Stepping forward, Tess climbed
awkwardly onto the long, sinuous body and threaded her fingers into its silky
feather-fur. She was intensely relieved when it didn’t buck her off and eat her
at once. In fact, it seemed to wait until she had a firm grip on its fur. Then
with a sudden surge, it leapt into the sky, leaving the snarling, snapping wolf
pack behind and taking Tess with it into the night.

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