Diamond Buckow (15 page)

“Calm down,” John's precise voice urged.

“He deserved to die. You set out to do the job, so why be upset now? And as to who really did him in—I believe that those of us who refused to help him were more guilty than you.”

The pinched lines on Diamond's face were drawn in distress and defeat. He leaned on the table for balance, letting his half-drawn gun slide back into leather. His voice was guttural from lack of breath.

“No, no, it's not the same at all. Because I never avenged Pa's death clean, and now I can't. And, oh, God, if you could know all I've been through over a damned stupid mistake!”

Suddenly intense with cold fury, Diamond straightened his shoulders and walked out into the night.

The sun finally got a good hold on the horizon and pulled itself up to where it could brighten and warm the camp. Diamond drained his coffee tin and went to bring in his new gelding.

As his hands worked with a curry comb and brush, his mind worked to try to make some sense of his life. He thought over what he'd learned last night as well as everything that had happened to him. Every decision he'd made since he left Gerald Hamm's house.

He knew it would be easy to blame it all on circumstance. That way he could absolve himself of any fault. But if he looked at it square, really tried to be a good man, he could see that each thing was a direct result of one or more of his own actions.

Most of the time a fellow had very little idea where his decisions would take him, Diamond thought. Still, he could see where a little firmness at a few points along the way could have changed the course of his life. He wasn't
not
acting so much as he was allowing circumstances to decide what action he'd take.

Mid-morning came, and with it, Diamond's sense of peace. Time to deliver Bones to the blacksmith as part of last night's deal with the trader, Tom Dobbins. After that, he started out to see if he could find an eatery that would serve him a full meal at an in-between hour.

He was walking along the street when he suddenly froze. Nancy Blough, coming out of Dobbins's hardware! A vague, cloudy memory floated before his eyes—a stagecoach in a swirl of dust, a familiar dark and vivacious profile alighting. Swearing under his breath, Diamond shook free of the image. Best to turn back the way he'd just been. Maybe she'd go into another store or something, she couldn't possibly have recognized him.

“Buck, Buck!” she called.

Oh, God, now what? He didn't want to respond, or have to answer to that name ever again. Maybe if he just kept walking—

“Buck, wait. Please. Buck?”

Her voice had the power to turn him around against his will.

Diamond steeled himself as he said, “Mrs. Blough, I thought nobody'd know me here in Garden City. A strange town, you know? I thought I'd be safe.”

Nancy stopped within arms' reach, studying his face. “I'm hardly sure I
do
know you, Buck. So much hair on your chin. The look in your eyes isn't the same, either.”

He used a harsh, bitter tone designed to shock and hurt her.

“Just what in hell did you expect? That an innocent ranch hand your husband ordered hanged wouldn't try and change as much as he could?”

“Buck, please don't blame me for what Henry did.” Her voice was a quivering bowstring and her brown eyes were molten lava.

“I had nothing to do with that. I'm your friend, and only a friend could have known you. I recognized the slope of your shoulders, the way you move. Nobody else would know you that well.”

Diamond stared at her, then at his own dirty boots. Damn it, she was just like the first time he'd ever met her. A little less than formal, a little more than some other man's dutiful, proper wife. Still—

“Do you think we could get off this street?” he heard his gruff voice asking her.

“I mean, if we got to talk, maybe we can go someplace where we won't be overheard, at least.”

Nancy cleared her throat, but still sounded damnably husky. “We could get some coffee. The hotel restaurant should be empty this time of morning.”

Diamond hesitated, then fell in step beside her. “I guess I
could
use some chow,” he admitted. “Haven't eaten as of yet today.”

They went into the Cattlemen's Rest and sat at a table against the wall of a deserted room. Diamond and the serving man had a brief row about the availability of a full breakfast. The hungry diner prevailed. The man poured the coffee and stomped into the kitchen while Diamond stared Nancy into saying what was on her mind.

She fiddled with the coffee, met his startling blue eyes. She parted her lips, waited, and finally spoke.

“Buck, I never believed you to be guilty of anything at all, much less something that warranted hanging. You must accept my word that I never listened to what they said about you. If you stay out of sight for a while longer, it will all be forgotten.”

Her searching gaze went up and down his face.

“You need a barber to cut your hair and trim your beard. That's not a criticism. It will aid your mature appearance, and anyone who sees you now will not later describe you as a wild-looking stranger.”

He grunted his agreement, not meeting the concern on her small, round features.

“What will you do now?” Nancy's tone was gentle. “I remember your telling me about your family, how disappointed you were in them. And about your goal to become independent and successful.”

Diamond looked up, in pain over those once-easy confidences. God, if only he
knew
what he'd do next. Or, at least, how his shaky new plans might come out. Was it all silly dreams? What could he tell this woman—what did she really want to know?

Nancy lightly touched his arm. “Buck, do you have some plan to prove that you're not—not what Newt Yocum tried to hang you for?”

He sighed and made to unstop his mouth. Hell, it was always like this when he talked to her. Why hold back now?

“Yes and no,” he answered. “I still have this crying need to be a straight man. I know now I'll never prove I didn't steal your man's cattle. No matter my personal reasons nor all the hashed-over details, I
did
take 'em. So the only way to get self-respect is, stay on this range and earn the kind of reputation I want.”

“How?”

“Well, I can't do it by running. I can't do it by giving myself up to be hanged. And there's no way I can raise the money your husband would've gotten for those cattle if he'd taken them into Dodge himself.”

“But what are your choices?”

“Not many.” Diamond grinned ruefully.

“Know what I'd like, though. There's a place south of here where I've been holed up. An old sod house and pole corral, been deserted a long time. There's a lot of unbranded cattle running that part of the range. I'm thinking to file on the quarter section where the soddy and spring are. To start a spread of my own. Only, I'm having trouble working out a couple of things.”

Nancy's deep brown eyes penetrated him. “Buck, I feel privileged to be the friend of someone like you. You're smart enough and decent enough to see the other side of the issue. Don't be embarrassed, or too modest. I know you have real strength, that you're the kind of person to make good.”

Diamond couldn't shake off or put aside this last praise. Nancy was sincere, and she made him feel like a man.

“Buck,” she continued, “can you tell me about those problems you've yet to solve?”

“Well, the first I didn't know about until you recognized me back there on the street. For if you could know me so easy, there'll be others. I got no chance if I can't stay on this range without men remembering and judging.”

“I have a confession to make,” Nancy announced with a sly little smile.

“You see, what brings me to Garden City is visits with my only true female friend west of Saint Louis. She's married to Tom Dobbins.”

Diamond was stunned. He tried to interrupt, but she hurried on.

“I saw your mare in his corral and started asking questions. Of course, he said your name was Diamond, but I knew it was you. And I've been watching for you.”

She paused, noticing his stricken expression. “Buck, don't look at me that way. It's true. Now, don't worry. If you get that trim and haircut, no one but me will find you out. I'm sure of that. Let's hear your other problem. It couldn't be any worse.”

Diamond shook his head in disbelief. What kind of friend was this Nancy Blough? What kind of woman was she, at heart?

“To answer your question. Uh...well, it's money, or, rather, the lack of it. I got enough for some provisions. But if I'm goin' to start ranching, I'll need cattle. Oh, I know there's plenty out there with no brand at all, but is it honest of me to register without one single cow or bull? Dare I start to put my mark on the mavericks?”

His breakfast came and he ate it. In very short order he went on talking without so much as looking up.

“I could justify it in my own mind. I could say that even what money I got for your husband's cattle didn't pay me all he owes me. But then there's the matter of my reputation, and who can put a price on that? And there's another way, too, but I guess I don't want to think on it much. I could go work for somebody else. But, God, it would take years, and I could never use my own name again! Who in hell would hire Peter D. Buckow?”

“I don't know, Buck,” Nancy responded gently. “But I'm sure we can find an answer. Tell me about calling yourself Diamond. Is that the D. in your name, or is there another reason?”

He lifted his beard with one hand and pulled down his necker-chief with the other, revealing the permanent scar that encircled his throat.

“See how clear it is, Mrs. Blough? I'll always have Newt Yocum's brand on me.”

“Oh, my God, Buck!” Nancy gasped, her whitened knuckles tugging at the edge of her own collar.

Her senses reeled. She waited for herself to steady before she spoke on in a calm, cold fury.

“There's even more to tally against Yocum, Buck. I—well, it's going to be difficult to tell you this. Promise to try to understand. You must!”

She squeezed his outstretched hand so hard that he nodded immediately. Nancy drew a deep, shuddering breath and plunged ahead.

“You see, Henry is a lot older than I am. He and I have never really been man and wife. We sleep in separate rooms, and he's never come near me since our wedding night.”

Her face flushed, and she told the rest of the tale to the coffee in front of her.

“I guess Newt sensed something of this and thought I'd be an easy mark. I kept telling him I wasn't interested, but words mean nothing to a man like that.”

Diamond felt his blood rise, and wished anew he could kill the bastard.

“Twice,” Nancy said, trembling, “
twice
I had to fight him off. The first time it was out on the range, and what saved me was having a faster horse. The second time he forced his way into the house late at night when he knew that Henry was gone. I talked myself blue and finally bluffed him out with a rifle he didn't know was unloaded.”

“So that was it!” Diamond exploded. “I saw him come slamming out your back door that night. Figured he'd been with you—for whatever reason. Then when he was so damned hot to hang me, I reckoned he knew I'd seen him. He was determined to get me out of the way, so's I'd never tell.”

Nancy paled, then colored. Her troubled eyes finally locked with Diamond's probing ones.

“Buck, I'm not sure—what do you mean, for whatever reason?”

It was his turn to look abashed.

“Mrs. Blough...Nancy. I got to tell you, I feared the obvious. But that never sat easy, because as a friend I was sure I knew you a whole lot better'n that. And I'd have died not saying nothing, lest it hurt you.”

“Oh, for God's sake.” She sat there with her eyes brimming, and he let her get over it.

Then he said, “Nancy, I got to tell you one thing more. It's important. When they put the rope around my neck, I started in to pray. I promised if I could live I'd be the most honest man ever was born. I'll allow I don't know how to do it, but I got to keep the promise. And I got to do it right here on this range where I got into trouble.”

She leaned closer, her voice hoarse. “What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing. Just that you think I'm right.”

“Oh, Buck, of course you're right. And you can't leave town without getting in touch with me again.”

He was incredulous. “Now, how am I supposed to manage that trick? You're married. It's risky—if people see us together, we'll both be ruined—or dead.”

She shook her head. Her eyes danced like dark stars.

“No, it's all right. I stay with the Dobbinses when I'm in town. You could come over pretending to talk horses. Or at least we can leave messages there. Please stay in touch, Buck. I might even think of a way to help with your money problem.”

Dazed, he agreed. But as he looked up he saw some early noon customers approaching the Cattlemen's Rest. Diamond convinced Nancy they had to part ways for now. He left with his emotions whirling.

Diamond sighed deeply as he recalled the words and ideas he'd shared with Nancy Blough. His earlier sense of foreboding was now warmed away like the sun's burning off a dawn fog. A strong wind blew through his brain. It left his mind clean of all the old cobwebs that were encrusted with his past mistakes.

He knew what he was going to do. For the first time in months, Diamond's lips puckered to form a whistling tune. He walked toward the land office, where for a small fee he was able to file on the quarter section. When it came time for his signature he boldly wrote, “B. Diamond.”

Next time it would be Diamond Buckow. Soon, he hoped. But at least he knew that in his head. Maybe B. Diamond would always be just as good, for everybody else.