Diamonds & Desire: The Priceless Collection (18 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Friends were invaluable, free therapy.

Unless Jordana counted the second cup of coffee she bought for Casey. He insisted on hanging out at the neighborhood café once she broke the news about ending things with Logan.

She needed cheering up, but knew it would be a temporary respite.

She was tired, yet restless. Resolute, yet conflicted. Every morning she woke up determined to get through an entire day without thinking about Logan. By the time she walked out of her apartment, she’d already forsaken that goal.

“It’s too bad Mr. Savant turned out to be the rule and not the exception,” Casey said wryly. “I had hoped,”—he squeezed his eyes shut—“prayed he was more than meets the eye, but his rep as a true ladies man remains solid. Can’t believe he introduced you as his friend, as if he hadn’t been hot n’ heavy for you for weeks. Well, I did warn you…”

“I know, I know.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I’m just saying.” He tore open a sugar packet. “It shouldn’t be that big of a shock. At least you got some dresses and diamonds out of the whole ordeal.”

Jordana didn’t have the energy to smile at her friend’s joke. Dresses and diamonds were not compensation for the heartache. “Do you think I was too rash to break it off?”

“Nah. Defense is the best offense. He was acting weird anyway. The signs were all there, and instead of ignoring them, you listened to your instincts.”

She gave a subtle nod, folding her arms around her middle, staring at the floor. True. It still didn’t make her feel much better about it however.

Casey bent his head to catch her gaze, setting a hand on her knee. “Remember what you told me after Zack smashed your heart into a thousand tiny pieces? You said you should’ve paid more attention to the little signs. That deep down you knew something wasn’t right, but that you’d ignored your instincts. You didn’t want to face it because you were too afraid to lose him.”

And she’d done it again. When would she ever learn? “I remember.” Shifting in her chair, she straightened her spine. “I told myself I would never feel that way again. Like the idiot who knew better.”

“Exactly. And with Logan, you stopped the player from playing you. Don’t second guess. It was the smart and brave thing to do. You heard that conversation for a reason. Although,” Casey added, pulling the wooden stir stick from his coffee and tossing it in a bin, “I have a feeling it isn’t over between you two yet.”

“What makes you say that?”

He shrugged. “A hunch.”

Afterward, they walked down to a craft store and she picked up fresh art supplies. She planned to fill the rest of her Saturday working on a new Betsy book, slathering on her favorite beauty mask, and watching funny animal videos on YouTube. Lucee had offered to take her out drinking and dancing at a hot club—her sister’s one and only remedy for relationship blues—but Jordana had declined. Maybe next weekend. Or next month. Surely by then she’ll be over him.

As she and Casey turned right on the corner and started up the sidewalk to her place, she glanced ahead, and halted in her tracks.

Logan. Leaning on the stair rail of her building, hands in pockets.

Casey had gotten a few feet in front of her before he realized she’d stopped. “What’s up? Forget something?”

“Your hunch was on the money. It’s him,” she finally explained to a bewildered Casey.

“Where?” Her friend followed her gaze, and gasped. “Shut the front door. That’s him?”

She nodded, taking a deep breath as she shifted the bag to her other arm.

Casey roved his wide gaze to her. “Even from this distance I can tell the internet pics don’t do him justice. How the hell did you let that specimen go? Don’t answer, I’m just kidding. It’s kinda romantic, him hanging out by the steps. If he wasn’t a heartless a-hole I’d almost forgive him on the spot!”

She dismissed her friend’s gushing. “Why do you think he’s here?” she asked with apprehension in her voice.

“You know why. You’ve been ignoring his calls and the man wants to talk. Don’t faint. Here.” He pulled the band from her ponytail, fluffed and arranged her hair around her shoulders, and righted her blue infinity scarf. When she made a face at his fussing, he said, “Better to be sexy than sad. Want me to walk you up?”

She shook her head, and took a deep, much needed breath. “Thanks, but it’ll just make things awkward.”

“You’re worried my hulking spaghetti arms will intimidate him?”

She leaned in for a quick hug. “Worried once you meet him, you’ll make me forgive him on the spot. I’ll talk to you later.”

He gave her shoulders a little shake. “Don’t go soft. Be strong. Even in the face of sinful beauty with a silver tongue.” He kissed her cheek and jogged across the street to his apartment.

Legs heavy, Jordana resumed her walk. As she neared, Logan lifted his gaze and locked on hers, relief in his eyes. Ignoring the betraying leap her heart gave at the sight of him, she struggled with the conviction that had sustained her decision for the past few days.

Wearing black slacks and a dark red button-down shirt opened at the throat, he was too fine for words as he straightened from his casual pose. A soft smile moved his lips. “Hello.”

“What are you doing here?” A minor triumph. Her voice didn’t shake at all.

“You haven’t returned my calls.” His baritone speech carried huskiness as he shrugged, “I had to see you.”

“You could’ve given me a heads up with a text. I don’t like surprises. Just like you as I recall.”

Remorse etched on his handsome face. “Jordana, about that. What I said to Katherine—it wasn’t what it sounded like.”

“Really?” She brushed past him and walked up the few steps to her building’s front door, fishing for her keys while her hands shook. “I took everything you said out of context? You called me the ‘nice girl’ from the charity. As if we barely knew each other. You practically laughed when she asked if you’d take me to a Christmas party. I thought we...” Her throat closed up, and she strove for strength as she pivoted to face him. “It was exactly what it sounded like. Denial is pointless. You were being truthful, and even though your words were a little harsh and I wasn’t meant to hear them, they were precisely what I needed to hear. Now I know where we stand.”

He planted a foot on a step. “At the time, I felt I had to say those things. Katherine asked about you because she knew—in those few seconds you and I were face-to-face—that you were more to me than some acquaintance. I didn’t like it.”

“So you thought belittling me was the best way to dodge her nosy questions?”

“No—it’s just...it’s nobody else’s business who you are to me.”

Including her, apparently. “Well then, who am I to you?”

Despite herself, hope was high. Now would be his best opportunity to tell her how he felt and end this misery. She waited, holding her breath.

He cast his gaze away.

The last vestiges of hope vanished with the silence of his answer. “You don’t even know how to answer that, do you?”

Raising his gaze, he gestured like a man at a loss. “Jordana, I’m sorry. How I behaved, you should know it was just an act.”

“What do you mean an act?”

“I’m the CEO of a corporation. I always have my poker face on at the company, and that was the first time I slipped. Her questions caught me off guard and I just reacted. A bad, cowardly reaction I won’t deny that.” He captured her hand, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles, sending electric frissons of heat up her arm. “Have dinner with me tonight. Come home with me,” he spoke with sensual persuasion. “I’ll make it up to you a thousand times. I’ll find a thousand ways.”

Who taught him how to say the right things, touch the right way? Did it just come naturally? Jordana suppressed the instinct to quiver, but knew her erratic pulse gave her away.

Forcing herself to pull her hand from his, she balled it into a fist at her side to numb the tingling. “I don’t want to be with a man who shows one face to me and another to someone else. I understand how you must present yourself when you’re working, and I don’t blame you for guarding your privacy. I just think we aren’t meant to go any further. We had a good time. Now we’re done.” She’d said it in one breath and her lungs ached.

His brows furrowed, and for the first time since she’d known him, she saw a slight despairing shadow in his blue gaze. “We’re done? No, don’t say that. Hands down, what I said was immature and thoughtless, but they were only words.” Imploring her with his regretful gaze, he added, “Let’s forget Friday ever happened. Have dinner with me. Forgive me. Please.”

The temptation to go with him, surrender, snaked powerful and hot through Jordana’s sensibilities. Should she give in? The fact she considered doing so angered her. Pride and distress pushed against desire and fierce longing, but with her guard on high alert, she was wary of even the sincerest apology. Her fragile heart couldn’t take another scratch. “I’m sorry too, but this…this, whatever we had going, is over.” Her voice broke on the last word, exposing the raw emotion thinly veiled under her mask of strength.

Logan’s blatant disappointment sunk her stomach, disbelief in his tone. “Not like this.”

“Don’t you see, Logan? I can’t forget what I heard. I believe a part of what you said came from a place of honesty, even if you deny it. Maybe we’re ending a little sooner than expected, but we both know it wasn’t going to last.”

“Jordana, I was only trying to keep my private life private. When someone pokes into my personal affairs, I automatically go into lockdown mode. Especially after that rumor about us eloping—”

“Something that started because you thought it would be fun to pretend to be married!”

He flinched. “I know. It was my fault.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked as a breeze tossed locks of hair in her face.

“I didn’t want you to worry about stupid gossip,” he murmured, reaching to smooth the strands down. “It runs rampant in the circles I socialize in. I wanted to handle it myself.”

His innocent caress devastated her. She jerked back. “You still could’ve told me about it. Your friends knew, your mother knew. There I was, oblivious. I was the only one out of the loop, which proves that even when we’re together, I’m on the outside of your life coming in when it’s convenient for you. Which is all you wanted anyway. A party companion and a Saturday night lay.”

“That’s not true,” he spoke sharply.

Heart hammering, she floundered to keep her wits. “It-it is. You never share anything personal. Do you realize that? You know about my books. The story of how I lost my parents. My relationship with my sister, how I crack my knuckles when I’m upset. But, I don’t really know you, and you keep it that way.”

“You know everything that matters.” Softening his tone, he asked, “Has it ever occurred to you I’ve never been closer to anyone?”

Her throat tightened. Was that true? If so, his idea of intimacy came nowhere near hers.

He held her gaze for a long stretch of silence. “What were you expecting?”

Admittedly, she didn’t know exactly, but it wasn’t fair she expected him to read her mind. “For more.”

A tinge of frustration entered his tone, with the defensive air of someone who didn’t understand what she could possibly mean. “More what? Of me? You know how my life is. Not to mention I’ve never been a man who commits beyond today.”

And there it was. He didn’t commit beyond the present. She thought she could handle a hot affair without emotion, with no expectations, even though deep down, she knew better. That was how much she’d wanted him…so much so, she’d lied to herself. Something she hadn’t done in a while.

Logan sighed, and stepped down. “Unvoiced expectations. That’s what this is all about.”

“No, this is about you being disrespectful and mean behind my back. You want a woman you can dress up, take to fancy parties, and seduce without getting too close. It’s actually a pretty stellar deal and I thought I could be that woman, but I can’t. I need someone who I can trust. Someone to—” Love and who will love me back, but decided against voicing it. “We want different things at this point.”

Meeting her gaze, he slowly advanced up the steps. “I want you.” He crooked a finger under her chin and raised it. “And you want me, Jordana. We’re good together. Why can’t that be all there is to it?”

His heat fanned over her face, the hint of his delicious cologne tickled her nose. Frozen, she lost her breath, seized by those seductive blue eyes. Fighting to sustain composure, she whispered, “It’s not that simple.” One kiss would guarantee her undoing. Breaking away, she jerked around, opened the door, and marched the steps to her apartment. “I’m no good at the friends-with-benefits thing, Logan.”

He followed her with measured ascent, his voice echoing in the stairway as they climbed to the third floor. “Aren’t we a little too mature for something like that?”

“Well, I don’t know what else to call it.” She stopped at her door and closed her eyes, breathless, but not from the stairs. The more he pleaded, the more she looked into those eyes, allowed him to get close, the more she unraveled.

He drew her around, took the bag, set it on the floor, and rested his hands on her shoulders. “This can still work out. I can tell you don’t want to end this as much as you say you do.” The warm strength of his grip burned through her jacket. Searching her features, he lightly grazed a thumb over her jaw. Panic revived Jordana’s senses. Leaning down, he spoke softly, “You’re the only woman I want to be with.”

“Right now. I don’t want to be any man’s right-now girl. Not anymore.”

His brows gathered. He cupped her face, tilted her head up. Uttering apologies, he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead and temples with such blissful tenderness, she parted her lips on a whimper, crumbling. To her surprise he didn’t move to her mouth, but traveled from her cheek to her neck, one of his hands moving to her hip.

His voice came out huskily as pressed her to the door. “Let me in.”

A moan—part protest, part yearning—came from her throat as she placed her hands at his waist. As his lips burned a trail of fire up her throat, desire held her captive. But determination steeled her, awakened with recollected humiliation. And the fear if she didn’t stop him now, she never would. With a strangled cry, she pushed him away with all the force she could manage.