Diary of a Dieter (14 page)

Dressed in my jeans, black halter-top, and a pair of kitten heels, I checked and re-checked my reflection in the mirror. Adam, who had installed three around my apartment, had forcibly lifted my ban on the damn things: one in my bedroom behind the door; one in the bathroom beside the tub; and another on the wall between the kitchen and his room. It was hell. I couldn’t walk freely around the place without the constant reminder of my weight, and I was tempted to tear them down, except I was slightly reluctant to endure twenty-one years of bad luck. I had enough bad luck already; I didn’t need anything else to up the ante.

Clip-clopping my way into the lounge, I groaned. Dieting, exercise, and that awful detox had only managed to rid me of one dress size. Surely, I was doing something wrong! I wasn’t hoping to be a size eight or even a ten. No, I wanted to be curvy, cuddly, and sexy size twelve Charlie again. I loved her. She had a great arse, perky boobs, and cleavage you could get lost in. I’d lost her somewhere when I was busy wrapping tyres of jelly around my waist.

I made my way to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of mineral water and some leftover chicken salad. If I were going to end up drowning my sorrows tonight, I would rather do it on a full stomach. A strawberry daiquiri is not as much fun when it’s coming back up. I learned that the hard way on my twenty-first birthday. I was just about to stab my fork into a chuck of chicken when Adam breezed in, threw his briefcase on the floor, and slumped down onto the sofa. Jacob, who was curled up at the other end, lifted his head and gave Adam a deathly stare. He was naturally incensed at being woken by this invader.

Resting my arms on the counter, I lifted my fork and pointed it at him.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked, shoving a fork load of lettuce into my mouth.

He sighed and rubbed his brow. He was still choosing to wear his glasses to work but would frequently ditch them in the evenings for contacts. He said he was trying to allow his eyes the time to adjust before going all in.

“I hate my job. I hate it.”

I giggled. “No you don’t, you liar. You love your job.”

He shrugged. “Not today. I have a shit load of paperwork that still needs doing so it seems my weekend just filled up, and my boss made me stay an extra three hours so that she could go over some inventory with me! That’s the intern’s job. Why did I have to do the damn lists?”

Poor Adam. He really was blind, even with those thick-rimmed glasses. An idiot could have seen that his boss was crushing on him.

“So, have it out with her,” I suggested.

He shook his head. “It’s not worth it. She’s a senior, and I haven’t been in the department long enough to throw my weight around.”

I nodded in understanding.

Finishing my salad, I dumped the plate in the sink and skirted around the counter into the lounge. Sitting up and placing his elbows on his knees, Adam gave me a curious look. His brow furrowed as his eyes moved up and down my body.

“What are you all dressed up for? Got another hot date with that internet guy?”

“Ha! Yeah, right. I won’t be seeing him again. Our date didn’t exactly end well.”

Adam smiled. “I assumed something had gone wrong when you were home and calling me about denture fix.”

I almost choked on the water I had sipped. “What do you mean?”

He laughed. “Well, if it had gone well, you wouldn’t have been home, alone, cleaning your cat.”

I physically relaxed. The thought of Adam knowing about my sexual mishap with James was less than appealing. Bending to take off his shoes, he glanced up at me over the rim of his glasses and smiled.

“Well, his loss, Charlie. You’re the catch of a lifetime.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, like a sexually transmitted disease.”

Adam shook his head and neatly lined his shoes up beside the sofa. “There you go again, putting yourself down. How do you expect to find the man of your dreams when you don’t even love who
you
are?”

I exhaled slowly. “I thought I
had
found him. Until he ran off with some home-wrecking harlot.”

“Maybe a little time getting to know yourself again would be a better idea than searching for your next big romance, Charlie.”

It was good advice, but surely I could meet myself
and
have mind-blowing sex, too?

“Maybe. But for now, I’ll settle for hot, sexy, and willing to fuck my brains out.”

Adam’s eyes widened at me, and he blushed, adjusting his tie.

“If that’s what you’re looking for. I’m assuming that’s why you’re dressed up and wearing your best heels?”

I glanced down at my feet. “Naturally. Guys hate a girl who is too tall. Kitten heels get me laid, and there’s less chance of me falling on my arse.”

Or my face … I thought back to my date with James.

“I just think you could do so much better, and you deserve better. I’m going to have a bath and relax with a beer while I plow through that heap of paperwork in my case.”

Rising from the sofa, he walked over and placed a light kiss on my cheek. “Try not to get into too much trouble, and if tonight does turn into your lucky night, try to keep it down.”

Heading toward the bathroom, he turned and winked at me. My insides did a tiny loop-de-loop, and I found myself grinning like a maniac. Adam always knew just what to say to boost my confidence. He was everything a girl could want, but yet he continued to be single. No woman ever seemed to measure up to his standards. I had wondered if they felt intimidated by his relationship with me, but most of them had embraced our friendship and those who found it harder, I would try hard to win over—usually with a pretty high success rate. Adam was fussy, picky, and was clearly holding out on these women. They were usually gorgeous, successful, and totally head over heels for him, but he was always so oblivious or reluctant to actually maintain the relationship. Hell, I couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had a girl at all. Was he practicing abstinence? I cringed and shook my head. I knew all too well how hard it was to be in a sexual desert, and it had to be even harder for a man. At least we ladies have endless options of battery-operated boyfriends, sex buddies, one-night stands and meaningless fumbles behind a bar. I knew for a fact that for women, finding a willing male for a quick bunk up and fast exit was relatively simple. Finding a woman who was also looking for the same … nearly impossible. However, I realise that this is a little hypocritical considering what I’m telling you about my prowling for some stallion sex beast to make mine for the night. Don’t judge me. You know you’ve all been there. Passion, rampant, hungry, and horny sexual appetite raging, we’ve all wanted to tear Matt Bomer or Ian Somerhalder’s clothes off at some point. If not them, someone at least. And yes, I know I should seek help for that Somerhalder obsession but we’ve all got that list … you know, the ‘It’s not cheating if he’s a celebrity,’ list.

Lost in my lustful thoughts of celebrities, I jumped a little as the sound of a horn honking downstairs echoed around the quiet street. Peering out of the window, I saw Ness and Dana waving up at me beside a waiting taxi. Grabbing my purse and quickly checking myself in the mirror, I shrugged.

“Yep, as good as it’s gonna get I’m afraid.” I cast my eye back at Jacob who glanced up, but with a long stretch, simply turned around on the sofa and settled with his back to me. Hopefully the males at the bar would be a little more attentive. Otherwise, my
own
battery operated boyfriend and my Ian Somerhaulder calendar were getting a serious work out tonight!

* * * *

Walking into the bar, I felt like a fish out of water. The décor was incredibly decadent. It reminded me of a 1920s gentlemen’s lounge. Tall, golden columns with vine detailing made up a large portion of the room, and the rest was made up of the three, elegant, and dark wooden bars. Behind each was an array of expensive-looking spirits, wines, ales, and the bartenders were dressed in black ties and white shirts. The seating was also very luxurious. Red velvet chairs with golden trim similar to that of the pillars, sat in pairs around small, round wooden tables, which matched the bars. It was like stepping out of Kansas into Oz. The music was playing softly from large speakers, and the people that were already beginning to crowd the bars were equally as classy as the place itself. When Ness said this place was exclusive, she wasn’t kidding!

You could practically smell the pheromones in the air. Men and women all on the hunt for that perfect hook up. I gave Dana and Ness a worried look. The women in the bar could only be described at sleek, sexy, and confident lionesses. And I was a plump little bunny caught in headlights. Ness was swaying a little to the music and grinning.

“Why do you look so worried? You wanted Mr. Right Now, and here is where you’ll find him. There’s everything you could possibly be shopping for in one place: blondes, brunettes, redheads, and some from the ‘other’ pile, such as the guys with typically modern rocker styles. You know, all dip-dyed with blue and stuff. But one thing they all have in common—“

“They’ve all shagged you?” Dana interrupted. Ness glared at her and gave a sarcastic laugh.

“Funny. No, they’re all looking for a quick hook up with no strings. And, they’re all dynamite in the sack.”

Dana giggled. “So you have slept with them all then. I assume you’re speaking from experience.”

Giving her a gentle shove, Ness pointed toward the bar. “You are such a bitch sometimes. Come on, let’s get a drink and mingle.”

I rolled my eyes and shifted uncomfortably. “I’m going to need
a lot
to drink before I even think about trying to mingle with these people.”

Dana nodded at a couple in the corner. The two of them were getting a little carried away considering we were in a public place. It was turning from PG-13 to soft porn in mere seconds.

“Is that the norm in here?” Dana asked with a look of pure terror.

Ness nodded. “Oh yeah. To be honest, that’s mild compared to how heated it can get in here. That’s why the bar hires out rooms upstairs. You can go in a couple, threesome, foursome, anything goes.”

I almost choked on a breath. A foursome! Was she serious? I came to get laid, not to take part in a group activity.

“And you’ve … indulged?” Dana’s interest was piqued by now, and Ness wasn’t getting away without divulging intimate details of her experience in this bar.

“Once or twice. I’m a firm believer in trying everything once before you decide it’s not for you. Besides, sometimes it was just two of us, and someone who likes to … you know … watch.”

I burst out laughing, and Ness quickly nudged me and shook her head.

“Will you pipe down? I’m known here, and you’re embarrassing me!”

I covered my mouth and tried to breathe through my laughter.

“Watch? Ness, sex isn’t a spectators’ sport!”

She giggled a little. “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Anyway, this isn’t about me. Tonight is about you finding a hot guy to play with.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, like that’s going to happen. Look at these women.” I gestured around the room.

“So? You know the only difference between you and them?”

I scoffed. “You mean aside from at least three dress sizes?”

“They have confidence, and they go after what they want. Guy’s don’t actually care that much about your dress size. If you have confidence and you flaunt your best assets, they’re putty in your hands.”

Pulling me to stand in front of her, she yanked on my halter-top hard and forced my cleavage to pop right out of the low-cut neckline. She then removed the clip from my hair, and my thick, red mass of locks cascaded down and over my shoulders. Taking a step back, she looked me up and down and squinted.

“Something’s missing. Oh, I know! Dana, give me your purse.”

Snatching it from Dana’s outstretched hand, Ness began digging through ‘til she found what she was looking for—a bright red lipstick. I shook my head fiercely.

“No. No way. I’ll look like a china doll or a Geisha girl!”

Ness folded her arms and tapped her foot. Giving me an irritated and impatient look, she raised an eyebrow at me.

“Will you just, for once, have some faith in my styling? It is my job after all!”

She had a valid point. I always found it hard with Ness. I’d known her for so long, and though I knew damn well that she was a professional stylist with excellent taste, it was difficult not to think of her as that crazy, party girl I had met in college. That stiletto, short back dress, way too much make up wearing girl was still buried beneath Ness’s now cool, sophisticated, and classy exterior. Conceding defeat, I allowed her to ‘make me up,’ and I had to admit that as she pulled out a small, round compact mirror from her purse and aimed it me, I looked … hot! Sultry, sexy and vixen-like.

Handing Dana her purse, Ness grinned. “Now, let’s go and get a damn drink!”

Dana and I nodded in agreement and followed as Ness led us over to the bar on the far side of the club. It was a tactical move. By walking our way across, we were literally on display to the entire room. Eyes followed us, and Dana blushed as a tall, blonde, and muscular guy winked at her. I rolled my eyes. Her and her damn insecurities! It frustrated me that not only was she so stunning, you could go blind just looking at her, but Dana also had the sweetest, most caring, wonderful personality, and yet she was completely oblivious to it! Men would gaze at her wherever we went, and it seemed that Ness and I were the only ones to notice.