Diary of a Napoleonic Footsoldier (13 page)

I could look with indifference at the people falling by the hundreds, although the impact upon the ice bashed their heads. I could look at their rising and falling again, their dull moaning and whining, and the wringing and clenching of their hands. The ice and snow sticking in their mouths was frightful. Nevertheless, I had no feeling of pity. Only my friends were in my thoughts.

During this month the cold became worse daily. I had to be more and more careful of myself in order to keep from freezing; also keeping my horse and the major’s from starving kept me busy day and night. I rode sometimes to the right and sometimes to the left in order to find a village, and load some straw or unthreshed sheaves on my horse and sit on top of them. Sitting on the straw was absolutely necessary, for otherwise it would have been stolen or torn away by the other horses.

17. O
N THE GREAT ROUTE FROM
M
OZHAISK TO
K
RYMSKAIA
, 18 S
EPTEMBER
1812. G. K
ÜSTNER
,
PRINTER
. E
MMINGER
,
LITHOGRAPHER
.

Thus I came to Smorgoni, always keeping nearly in the middle of the army, which, however, more nearly resembled a troop of beggar Jews than one of soldiers. Here I met again, to my astonishment, well-organized regiments which came from Danzig to our support. There were two regiments of Poles who had just come back from Spain; they threw in their lot with us. A few troops came also from Württemberg, to join the Seventh Regiment, which had already been routed, likewise troops from the depot; but I did not hear of an acquaintance. Moreover, here in this region Napoleon had left us and fled with the fresh reserve troops, hurrying home ahead of the army. The general cry was, “Save himself who can.” However, Murat had taken over the command of the army and remained with us. On the journey from the Beresina through Plechnizi, Slaiski, Molodetschno, and Smorgoni, I had lost the major a second time, and not until a week later did I meet him with a Württemberg captain by the name of Frost. Both were happy to have me as their attendant again.

When we approached Vilna, the cold increased still more; everyone had been forced to camp out in the snow without shelter since we had left Moscow. At night one
could really see how much space the army still occupied. The fires were always visible about a two hours’ march in length and about an hour’s in breadth. Because of the fire and cold, the sky was a glowing red, which was increased by the burning buildings standing off the highway. Many people were almost blinded by the smoke, which did not rise because of the cold, and still others became dizzy. All our misery was reaching its climax.

When I was still a three days’ journey from Vilna, about three o’clock in the afternoon the major gave me his horse, on which his coat was lying, and said that I should go just a little slowly, since he wanted to walk out a little way; and so I soon stopped and waited for him. Captain Frost and his attendant were also with me and waited, but no major came back. We waited a whole hour, and in vain. I was only too certain that he had frozen to death. What had probably happened to him was that he had not been able to put on his pulled-down trousers again because of the cold. It had been the fate of many hundreds, when they had sat down because of weakness or neccessity, that their clothing had been brutally torn from them and, where they could not defend themselves, they froze to death naked. Someone had tried this on me also, but I drove him away with a rather hard kick.

While I and the captain were still waiting for our major, the cold gripped me so terribly that I felt half-numbed. I said then, “Captain, if you still wish to wait, I’ll turn the major’s horse over to you. I feel that I am about to freeze, and so I am going.” Then the captain left, too, and the night showed us a burning hamlet about half a mile away to the left of the highway. We hurried
toward it and warmed ourselves there till about five o’clock in the morning. Then I heard cheering and a terrible noise on the highway, to which I called the captain’s attention: “Let’s get away; the Russians must be on the highway.”

The captain did not wish to leave the fire, and only after strong argument did he come with me. I then had a horse for myself, in addition to the major’s horse, and took another which stood saddled by the fire. On account of the cold I did not ride but led these three horses by the straps, going toward the highway. Thus we came into the midst of the enemy on the highway. I did not have enough strength to mount my horse, because I could not set my feet, which were bound in rags, in the stirrups and without the use of stirrups I was too weak to mount. I trotted as well as I could with the horses. The Russians called to us that they would pardon us, thinking that we would stop and surrender. We called back, “Comrade, pardon us,” but we did not stop. Then the Cossacks rode first at the captain and his attendant and beat them over the heads; both fell from their horses. One also rode at me from the left and thrust his lance into my side, and so then I sprang to the other side of the horses. At the same time, however, a second Cossack thrust his lance at my neck. I let the two horses go, pulled the nearest one aside, threw myself into the snow and the horse on top of me; so both of us lay as if lifeless in the snow a little off from the road. Here I rested, lying in wait with no feeling of hunger or cold. I only kept my eyes and ears fixed on the enemy in order to get an opportunity to flee. I saw the beating and pushing, and heard the
whining which continued around me and could not risk making a move. All who still were standing upright were knocked down or killed. Little by little the road was emptied, since the Cossacks in front pursued the army and those behind retreated with the captives. It was my good fortune that no Cossack could plunder or expose his hands because of the cold. They had their gloves on even while thrusting their lances; that is why the first stroke at me had only passed through some of my clothes, and even the second at my neck had not injured the flesh.

After a quarter of an hour had passed, I saw it clear around me, and immediately worked myself from beneath the horse, and ran straight to the nearest wild heaths and woods on the right side of the highway. Nevertheless, in the midst of my flight I picked up a kettle with a bail on it, inside of which lay peas and a package of muslin. While I was running along in 15 inches of snow, having escaped the danger, I thought of my rescue and thanked God for His fatherly providence—all the more so since I had obtained these peas and at the same time a cooking utensil in this lonely expanse, as though prepared by God. There was always a general need for cooking utensils, and only about one man in a hundred was provided with any. Nearly always I had to eat my horse meat, hempseed, rye, and raw grains uncooked. First of all, one had no fire; secondly, no water, having slowly to melt snow; and, finally, no utensils—usually, however, not any of all these.

In my half-joyful and half-dead condition I worked my way forward on this same day almost an hour and a half, traveling off the highway. Only the rumbling and clanging of iron tires, together with the cries of people,
guided me unfailingly along my way. It grew dark, and I did not need to think: “Where will you sleep?” But as always: “The snow is your bed; and your coat and fur, your cover!” Yet suddenly I saw again a burning village about an hour’s journey ahead; so I hurried to get there. When I came near, I was on my guard until I heard what language was spoken. Since I heard no more Russians, luckily, I ran to the fire. There were some twenty buildings in flames. Here I again met three men from Württemberg, and I passed the night with them.

One of them said, “If you cook your peas and if I may eat with you, I will add salt and fat,” to which I gladly consented. Even without this offer I would not have been able to see my countrymen go hungry so near my own unusually good dish. The fat was added, and finally we ate. When we had eaten scarcely a few mouthfuls, however, our throats burned and itched so strongly that no one was able to keep on. We examined the fat: it was soap. The food had to be thrown out, and only our hunger remained, for the peas had all been cooked. We stayed there half the night and then traveled on. The next day and also the third one, I had nothing at all to eat except some beet-juice broth I found once in a wooden tub that had a hole in the middle about three inches wide, which was unfrozen so that I could quench my thirst.

18. N
EAR
O
SCHMAENY
(A
SHMIANY
), 4 D
ECEMBER
1812. G. K
ÜSTNER
,
PRINTER
. E
MMINGER
,
LITHOGRAPHER
. T
HE RETREATING SOLDIERS FEND OFF A
R
USSIAN RAIDING PARTY WHILE BIRDS OF PREY CIRCLE PATIENTLY OVERHEAD
.

On the evening of the third day I reached the army just outside Vilna. It was in a terrific tumult. I arrived there scarcely before the Russians, who were constantly taking prisoners. Here I stood beside a mass of people who occupied all the hills in front of the city. On account of the horses and the wagons, many of them without living horses, which had piled in front of the city gates, the soldiers could not go ahead. With difficulty and with risk of life, people worked their way over the horses and wagons. Therefore, I decided to go entirely around the city and to come in from the lower side.

I was led to this undertaking by a countryman whom I met there by accident, the son of the old vine grower from Ellwangen, who came to us with the reserves. Having been acquainted with the city before, he led me into it by special paths; but in a short time I lost this good friend, too. Then I crept down a little side street into a house in which there were some Jews. I at once offered them money to get me brandy and bread. However, for my muslin, about ten yards, they offered me only a flask
of brandy, about a pint and a half. I did not haggle long, because my hunger urged me to be short. I obtained the brandy, also a piece of bread, for four Polish florins and consumed everything with a ravishing appetite. When the brandy was gone, I extorted another such flask for one silver ruble but no more bread. Because I had drunk three pints of brandy within three hours, many might believe that I became terribly intoxicated, but I was far from that. Although the brandy was a decent grain brandy, I felt very little effect from it in my head, since my stomach and all parts of my body were empty and hollow and there had been no strength there before. Besides, I did not want to waste anything of this pleasure, since in my case it was a question of “Bird, eat or die!”

When the night was half gone, I started on my way so that I would not be at the rear of the army. I made my way into an enclosed court where there were many horses, untied one which was still in regular sleigh harness, and rode out of the city. About half an hour from the city there was a hill where the wagons and horses again were halted. The slipperiness of the road and the smooth horseshoes made climbing up impossible. The horses fell, and the piling up of the wagons blocked the highway so that those on foot had to climb over them. To avoid this tumult, I crossed the stream to the right and went down the valley. An hour’s journey below this hill, I rode over a less steep slope back toward the highway. Because I had been so fortunate at Vilna as to obtain not only bread and brandy but also a horse, it was even harder now to face the misery once more. Hunger began again, and the cold was still just as bad as in the past days. “Truly, how
many more nights will you have to endure without shelter and without fire?” I thought again and again. “My friends, how you would love to help me, and how you would long to see me again, but will it be possible?” That is what I was dreaming about all day long.

By the end of December, we reached the Polish border along the Memel River. When I heard that it would be very hard to get through near Kovno, I led my horse up the river and crossed: it was filled high with pieces of ice, really drifting ice. Pieces from 15 to 18 inches thick drifted by, so that it was extremely troublesome to climb through between them. Here the Polish army turned to the left and set out on the highway into Warsaw. I and many other Germans made use of this turn. Everyone believed that the enemy would no longer pursue the Poles on this route, and, therefore, one would be safe; but in their eagerness to rob and plunder the enemy did not stop even here. Even the Poles themselves frequently robbed and plundered the Germans and French, as I found out the same evening.