Diary of a Provincial Lesbian (32 page)
school mistress.
‘I bought you this.’
From her rucksack behind the jardinière she produces a heart-shaped, red velvet box. Inside is a tiny silver brooch in the shape of a teddy bear. I am speechless. Near to tears. Janice is smiling. Then she starts coughing. Everyone is trooping back up the hall towards the loggia. I hear Deirdre telling someone, ‘What that woman wants is a tincture of hypericum mixed with echinacea.’
‘Merry Christmas, Janice.’ I lean across and kiss her.
‘Hold it right there,’ Laura shouts. ‘That woman’s infectious.’
We all start laughing.
December 27
th
Laura telephones to apologize if she’d seemed unusually boisterous over Christmas, but she was finding the reality of no girlfriend unsettling. I ask, ‘What happened to Pam then?’
‘It was not to be.’
‘Yes, but what happened?’
‘She said I was unreliable, Machiavellian, and a real pain in the butt.’
‘Are you upset?’
‘Not about Pam.’
‘About Iris?’
Long pause, then, ‘Actually, I do rather miss her. I can’t believe she doesn’t like me anymore, can you?’
Loyally reply, ‘No I can’t. Why not ring her?’
‘I have rung her.’
‘Go round. Make her laugh. Push a photograph of the two of you through her letterbox.’
‘Would that work?’
‘It might.’
December 28
th
Janice on course of antibiotics and much improved. Laura reports that she and Iris are back together, although Iris has threatened
one false move and its curtains!
December 30
th
See Mr Wheeler out with Vera. They are in the Hospice Shop, holding between them a pair of olive green velvet curtains. They both see me, look embarrassed. Vera hurriedly replaces the curtains on the rail while Mr Wheeler breaks away and begins to inspect a fine display of Tupperware.
December 31
st
Janice coming later. We are seeing in our first New Year.
Sit with Kitten on bench overlooking the garden. Everything as it should be. The meadow which I’d mown in early November lies dormant and flattened after the recent torrential rain. Today the sky has cleared and is a cold blue. Most of the gulls are either down on the beach or riding the waves but every now and then I see a white chevron soaring high above me.
Next door I can see Deirdre at her computer; Lord Dudley sits in his box lid next to her elbow. Just now she waved and mouthed
Cuppa at two o’clock
. I nodded.
I feel so very different from this time last year when Georgie was away in Scotland. It’s as if I’ve shed many layers: clothes, loves, likes, dislikes, all routines. This is a ludicrous image but in my mind I am a naked middle-aged woman stepping out into unknown territory. A fresh start. How my life turns out doesn’t depend even on Janice...or my friends... or circumstance. It depends on me.
* * *
Also by this Author
If you enjoyed
Diary of a Provincial Lesbian
you can also find VG Lee’s novel
Always You, Edina
on Kindle and in paperback from Ward Wood Publishing and Amazon.
Always You, Edina
was endorsed by Sarah Waters and Stella Duffy, and was shortlisted for the 2012 Stonewall Awards for Writer of the Year. It was also Book of the Month for Stonewall in summer 2012.
Reviews
Sarah Waters
:
‘Lee writes with unfailing warmth and wisdom about the comedy and complexity of childhood and family life. A real treat of a novel. I loved it.’
Stella Duffy:
‘VG Lee is funny, smart, clever, witty, not afraid to be honest and poignant at the same time.’
Time Out:
‘VG Lee is the first lesbian writer to specialize in that peculiarly Northern deadpan style that observes the humorous side of the casual cruelty inherent in human behaviour.’
Buy
Always You, Edina
for Kindle from your local Amazon store