Diary of Latoya Hunter (10 page)

Dear Janice
,

T
oday was mostly filled with disappointment. I don’t know where to begin. I’m not writing to you from my old home in St. Ann, but instead my Aunt’s house in St. Catherine. The three day trip to St. Ann where I would see everyone again turned out to be a tour trip where I would only see one cousin, one friend, and a couple old ladies I hardly remember.

First of all, we couldn’t get any transportation to where we wanted to go. It seemed like hours waiting at that bus stop. Since there were a lot of buses going to where another aunt lived in St. Ann, Rondah decided to go and get a ride from there. We spent at least two hours at her house before she got a friend that drove a taxi to take us.

Then Rondah broke the news to me. We weren’t going to stay very long—we would just say hi and go back with the taxi. Can you believe it? However, we would go straight to a hotel in Ocho Rios where we would stay until the next day
and then go to a nearby beach. Anyway, when we got there, memories started rushing back to me. At every house I passed there lingered some memory of something.

We stopped at my old friend Linworth’s house. His mother kept saying I’ve grown a lot. So did Linworth. But he’d grown too. He changed almost completely. His voice changed and he sounds like a man. He asked for my address. I guess we’ll keep in touch.

We then went to see my cousin Nicey. She couldn’t believe it was me. She told me one of the most disappointing parts of my day—that Janice had moved. I guess I won’t be seeing her. Also my old teachers weren’t teaching anymore. We didn’t even have time to stop at our old house. We only saw it from a hilltop. I really wanted to stay. I still want to go back. The taxi took us to Ocho Rios. At least I had the beach to look forward to. Then what do you know? Devoy gets sick and we have to check out of the hotel after only one hour.

So here I am, back in St. Catherine. I guess this is where I’ll be for the whole vacation.

Dear Janice
,

Y
ou wouldn’t believe how far you have to go to make a phone call in this country. Rondah and I were going to call back home to let everyone know how we are. We had to take a bus just to get to a phone. It’s unbelievable. Anyhow, Rondah called. She was on the phone for almost a half hour and no one even asked about me. It was just Devoy, Devoy. I’m not jealous but they could have at least asked how I was doing. It’s like they don’t care.

My mother wanted us, or at least Rondah and Devoy, to go back at an earlier date when she found out Devoy was sick. By the way, it’s just a cold.

We went to the movies with some of Rondah’s friends. The movie theaters here are gorgeous and they are huge! At least the one I went to was.

Tomorrow we’re going to see a play called 50/50. Everybody is talking about it so I figure it’s good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Dear Janice
,

W
e couldn’t get into the play because it was sold out. But it turned out to be a nice day. Rondah, Devoy, Rondah’s friend Marcia, our two cousins who we’re staying with and myself walked around Kingston and stopped at the shore of some kind of body of water, took pictures, laughed and talked. Kingston I think is the most busy place in Jamaica. It’s mostly a business area. There are tall buildings that would be hard to find anywhere else in Jamaica. There are people selling things on the sidewalk and they’ll do anything to make you buy from them. They usually travel from poorer areas or farming areas with crops or crafts that they thought people would buy. For most of them, that’s their only source of income. It pains me to see people living like that. It’s not fair that people suffer while people like Michael Jackson make millions of dollars for singing a song. There’s poverty everywhere but at least in New York people can get more help. There is always public assistance like welfare. For the homeless there are shelters. There aren’t any things like that in Jamaica. In that case, I’m lucky to be here.

Dear Janice
,

I
went to church today with my three cousins. The church wasn’t the best church in Jamaica, not even close. I don’t know exactly how to describe it. The seats were made out of pieces of board placed down on concrete blocks. The walls had no hint of paint, there were no doors, everything was just thrown together. My cousins tell me it used to look much better but the famous Hurricane Gilbert struck and that was it. They also told me some other stories about Gilbert.

For instance, a lady who lives in their housing scheme’s roof was blown off completely and she had to run for shelter at their house. It’s a lucky thing that nothing happened to any of my family or their homes. I remember hearing what was happening down here while I was up in New York and praying that nothing would happen to those I loved. That’s the worst feeling to have.

Dear Janice
,

R
ight now, I’m worried out of my mind. My grandmother has taken sick and she has to go to the hospital for an operation. I can’t believe this is happening to me again. My great grandmother was sick. She had to go to the hospital. She had to take an operation. But she also never came back out. The last time I was with her was when they were putting her in her grave. This cannot happen again. One time was enough for a lifetime.

Dear Janice
,

T
oday we went to a place called Glengoff to visit my other set of grandparents. I don’t know them very well. They’re my father’s side. There wasn’t anyone home except my father’s stepmother. My other grandmother (my father’s mother) had died when he was born. She didn’t even know who we were until we told her who we were. We showed her Courtney’s pictures. She only browsed through and gave them back. She doesn’t seem to have a very nice personality.

Dear Janice
,

T
oday was pretty boring. In a sense it wasn’t though. Because I’ve been on the road so much, just staying home seems strange it was nice to be with Oudia she’s fun. We argue, but it’s friendly arguing. There is such a thing! Just last night we were arguing and fist fighting and I told her we’re only doing this because we love each other. Is that strange to you? It really isn’t. If you were alive with feelings you’d know what I mean. We humans are complicated creatures you know.

I
’m back home! It’s almost like I never left. One thing I’ve found out about this place is you can leave for weeks or even months and when you get back you get right back into the flow of things. I’ve only been back a few hours and life has gone back to normal already. Good old Jamaica is behind me now so is the thought that everything had stayed the same after I left. It’s kind of nice to know everyone has gone on with their lives down there.

Big news! Sandra has left Dave. She just packed up her things and split. I could sense they were having problems before but it’s a shame it ended that way after two years
together. He’s taking off where I’ve just left. He’s going to Jamaica on Friday. He does need a vacation badly. I’ll miss Sandra, he’s making her out to be the one at fault. I need to hear both sides though.

I’ve been calling Derek and I can’t reach him. I guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to talk to him.

My mom’s friend is here, she just came in from Jamaica a couple days ago. She’ll be here until September and she’ll be staying with us! That’s six months! She’s here working, or at least trying to get a job. I guess there’s a lot going on back here. Nothing I can’t handle though.

Dear Janice
,

I
skipped school today. I needed a rest from my vacation. Have you ever heard of that? Anyways, I did reach Derek. Actually he called me. He is such a jerk! He was calling from some friends house and even though he had me on the phone, he had his concentration on his stupid friends. But that’s o.k., if he doesn’t care to hear about my vacation, I won’t care to hear about anything he says again. One of the only things he did ask me was if I bought him anything.

I
want to scream! Going back to school was what I thought it would be unfortunately. It was terrible! I didn’t understand the work they were doing and I had to take tests I’d missed. It’s amazing the amount of work my class covers in two weeks. I never realized. My homeroom teacher was acting really snotty when he saw me. I had told him before I left where I was going. Still, he acted like I was playing hooky for the past two weeks.

Dear Janice
,

D
ave left for Jamaica today. He’s there as I write, right now. It’s his first time going back. He was really excited. He probably gets to go around more because he’s renting a car. I would have gone all over the place to all the 14 parishes.

I wrote Linworth today. I wrote that I really did want to keep in touch all those years but couldn’t. I hope he falls for it. It’s true, the part about wanting to but the real reason is I’m lazy. But now is what matters. I really would like to keep in touch.

T
oday I have major bad news. Derek’s phone is disconnected. There goes the relationship. I could feel it. I can’t call him, he can’t call me, we never see each other, so is it over? I’ve noticed since my return Derek hasn’t been calling much and when he does, the conversation is terrible. I imagine now he’ll have to use a pay phone. I don’t understand this guy. What happened over those two weeks? On the plane, I felt we were so close, now we seemed to have drifted. He claims he missed me, but I just don’t know. I think I’m too young for this whole thing. He’s way older than me. He won’t tell me his right age. I guess he’s saying he’ll be whatever age I want him to be. Who knows? I just don’t know anymore.

Dear Janice
,

I
’m not exaggerating when I talk about how hard it is to get back in the swing of things at school. Math class has been the hardest. It’s so hard to keep up with sequential math (the course I’m taking). If you missed one thing, it’s hard to understand the other. Maybe I should have waited for summer for my little trip.

Dear Janice
,

D
ave came back. His vacation did do him good. He seems so happy! He was with his old girlfriend Coleen. Apparently they spent a lot of time together because she’s all he talks about. They haven’t seen each other in 5 years! That’s a lot. Anyway, they went all over the place together. He brought back a video with a lot of people from back home on it. Even Derek’s dad. Linworth was on it too. I envy him, he did everything he wanted to down there while I did what my sister wanted. It really sucks!

Dear Janice
,

I
t’s strange to see Dave functioning without Sandra. It’s strange to see two people who were so close be like strangers in such a short while. I think that’s what’ll happen between Derek and me. He’s acting too flaky for me lately. He’s not the same person he used to be every time we talk. I get so upset when I talk to him because he’s like a rock—I can’t communicate with him. I knew when his phone cut off that that would be it! If we don’t have communication,
we have nothing. So I guess right now we have nothing but a few empty phone calls.

Dear Janice
,

I
never updated you on my grandmother. She’s recovered from her operation and is doing well. Everyone is really relieved. I’m so happy that I’ll continue to have her in my life. I plan to visit her this weekend and give her a big hug and kiss!

Dear Janice
,

I
think I’m settling back down finally in school. It’s amazing how only two weeks out of school put me so far behind. I realize how hard it is for people who return to highschool. Now, it seems impossible. I guess I should stick to school so I won’t end up going back when I’m old. People should really think before they do something stupid like drop out of school. My mother did when she was 16 and had
Courtney. That was the reason, and she got married at that same age. I take this case to say (and I don’t say this often) that my mother was really careless. If she reads this and kills me, I’ll regret writing it, but it’s true. Maybe that’s why she’s on my back all the time. She probably doesn’t want me to trace her footsteps. I’ll try not to—believe me!

Dear Janice
,

T
eniesha and her mom showed up unexpectedly tonight. I hadn’t seen her in a really long time. They took me for a ride in her mom’s fiance’s new car. We stopped off at his workplace. He works at a sort of foster home for boys. When we went in we both thought this guy was really cute. He was sitting by himself on the couch watching t.v. Little did we know the guy was mentally handicapped. The fiance really worked for a home for the mentally handicapped. It goes to show that we think of the handicapped as not being really as important as us. They are people too, no matter what! I learned something today, cuteness goes to everyone. The point is we are not superior to anyone.

Dear Janice
,

D
erek was acting like a real jerk on the phone today. He seemed to be around his friends, and he talked to me like he ruled me or something. He just seemed to be playing a macho role to impress his friends. I hope he doesn’t keep this crap up! He’s pulling at my last nerve! I really like him, but it’s the person he’s acting like now that makes me want to curse him out and erase him from my life. I just may do that.

Dear Janice
,