dibs (25 page)

There was still no discussion about the future. He enjoyed my company, and I enjoyed his. I think we were both good with that—though in my heart, I wanted him every night and day. His career hadn’t come up. I assumed he was too proud to tell me he was a stripper, and I didn’t want to upset the proverbial fruit basket at the moment. I ended up telling the girls what he did for a living. Better to get it out there then have them find out on their own. Juls came up with some sort of Magic Mike tale that would end with a happily ever after. Kat thought it would be great if I offered him a life as a kept man. I guess I’d cross that bridge when it crumbled. For now, I was happy with whatever he could give me.

Jake knew I was talking to Mac, but Mac hadn’t really been visible enough to make it an issue. Today would be the third time Jake had seen him. I’d continue to measure his reactions and chat with Jake about it. No man would ever come before Jake.

After dinner, Jake and I cleaned up while Mac helped Peyton put the chain back on her bicycle.

“You like him, don’t you, Mom?” Jake asked making me nervous. This was my only dealbreaker. If Jake wasn’t ok, I wasn’t ok.

“I do. But dating is kind of like trying on clothes. You like the outfit at first, but then you put on a little weight and it doesn’t look as good after,” I winked. “I’m taking it slow, sweetheart.”

“That was dumb, Mom.”

I laughed out loud. “Well, you’re welcome. You know what I mean.”

Jake slid the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. “I like him. He’s cool.”

My heart swelled, making my chest feel full. I didn’t know how to tell him that it probably wouldn’t become a thing because the hot man outside was a stripper using me for sex. So I left it at that.

Jake headed up the stairs, and I headed for the garage. The door was open, and I stood at the screen watching Mac and Peyton work on the chain.

“No. I don’t have kids,” he said, and I stepped into the shadows so he couldn’t see me. “I don’t even
like
kids!” he said with an animated exaggeration. “Wait, are you a kid?” he poked her in the side.

Peyton giggled. “Not really. I’m almost nine.”

“Whew. I think you’re sorta cool for a girl and all.”

Mac spun the pedal of the bike; the chain seemed to work.

“I think you’re cool too, Big Mac.”

“Thank you, lil P. You know, you are lucky, Peyton.”

“Lucky, why?” she asked.

“When I couldn’t be with my mom when I was little, no one else wanted me. You have Sam and Jake. How lucky is that?” he tugged on her pigtail.

“Can I tell you a secret?” she whispered, and though I smiled, I was still hung up on the comment about his mother.

“Yep.”

“You can’t tell anybody!” she threatened with a finger in Mac’s face. I grinned. This raising a girl thing was new to me.

He saluted her. “OK!”

“Pinky swear?”

Mac’s brows shot up. “Tell me what that means.”

Both Peyton’s hand shot to her hips. “It means we lock pinkies and swear that you won’t tell. Ever.” She held her pinky out bent at a ninety-degree angle. Mac did the same thing.

“I’ve never done this before,” he admitted. “So this is a big deal for me.”

Once their pinkies were interlocked, she got close to Mac and whispered, “I’m going to marry Jake.”

Mac’s eyes shot wide. “Peyton, Jake will be your step brother. You need to talk with Sam about that.”

“Mac. Sit down,” she instructed and he did. Right in the middle of the garage. “You can’t marry your brother if you have the same mom and dad. Jake and I don’t. My mommy and daddy died. Sam is my new mom, but I can marry Jake.”

Mac’s mouth hung open. I hadn’t seen him speechless very often…maybe ever. It would be interesting to see if he told me what she said. At this point, I thought it was cute. I was sure her infatuation with Jake would change in time. This entire conversation seemed to send Mac into a comatose state. I decided to save him.

“Hey you two. How’s the bike chain?”

Mac glanced over at Peyton, who shook her head as if silently saying ‘don’t say a word.’

Poor Mac.

That night, as Mac left, we stood by his car saying goodbye.

“If you come back next weekend, you can stay. Jake will be with his father. I can have Peyton stay with a friend.”

Mac raked his fingers through my hair, holding it up in a ponytail. “I’ll come even if I can’t stay.”

His words cued the goofiest grin from me. When he leaned down to kiss me, I think he got mainly teeth because of the smile. We both laughed.

“Samantha,” he said with hesitation. “You…make me smile…out loud. You are precious to me, and I don’t mean that in a Silence of the Lambs, rub the lotion on the skin sort of way.”

I giggled. “Please don’t put me in a well, Buffalo Bill.”

He yanked me toward him, wrapping his arms around me, and held me close. My cheek pressed against his pecs. The things he said…precious? That’s like a rare gem. Why has he fallen for me?

“You know,” I said in a soft voice, fear lacing my words. Here it goes… “We’re going to have to talk about your profession. I’m not sure I want all those women fondling your body.”

Instantly, I was shoved an arms length away from him with his hands clutching my arms.

“You know?” he asked, his voice breaking.

My eyes shot wide. Was he angry? I couldn’t tell. For the first time, he frightened me. My pulse raced.

“I Googled you when I got home.”

His brow furrowed as he hung on my words.

“I was regretful for leaving. I was hungry to know anything about you. I thought I’d never see you again. Honestly, all I could find was the one picture. You’re not on Facebook that I could find.”

A slight smile twitched at his lips but faded quickly.

“I’m not on Facebook. What picture did you find?” He dropped his hands, freeing my arms; blood flowed freely into them again.

“A picture that said you worked at a ladies club. That you’re a stripper,” I whispered, casting my eyes down in embarrassment. When I glanced back up, he swallowed.

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, Mac. I’m just not sure I like that. You graduated from college, you said.”

He barely nodded and then cleared his throat. “I did. I’m…working on…changing things.”

I grabbed his face with both my hands, holding him tightly. The words “I love you” burnt my tongue. “It doesn’t matter to me, Mac. It doesn’t matter.”

The thought of hurting him…him feeling judged by me, made my stomach roll. If even for a second, I made him feel lesser than me… Tears came out of nowhere but I fought them.

“Maybe you could do a Magic Mike thing for me some night,” I teased, poking him in the ribs, trying to lighten the mood. “Just me,” I stressed with a goofy grin.

He yanked me in for a hug, not letting go. “Yeah,” is all he said.

***

Hearing the baby lullaby echo over the hospital intercom always brought the biggest smile to my face. But if I had delivered the baby, it not only brought a smile, but also a feeling of accomplishment. Of life.

Walking down the hospital corridor, the music played. Yep. That was me. It was a girl. The mother was single, but her parents stood beside her.

Mac loved me in my scrubs…thought it was sexy. I giggled to myself as I pushed the elevator button.

When the doors opened, Bryan stood there staring at me. What horrible timing.

“I need to talk to you,” he said.

“What?” I stepped on, joining him on the ride down. “Is it Jake?”

He pursed his lips the way only Bryan could do. I’d seen that look every time I asked him about a woman.

“Jake is with you right now.”

“Ok. Bryan. What?”

Three more floors.

“Well, I thought you should know something about Big Mac.” He said the last two words with hate dripping from them.

“What’s wrong with Mac?”

The elevator door dinged, and we both stepped off.

“Just spit it out, Bryan.”

He chuckled and licked his bottom lip over and over again.

“You, my dear wife.”

“Ex wife,” I added.

“You’d get so pissed at me and tell me all the time that it embarrassed you that everyone knew that I was out whoring around,” he threw up air quotes on whoring. “Come to find out, Momma’s gotta a new whore in town. Did you pay him to fuck you?”

Making every attempt possible to maintain a poker face, I rolled my eyes at his nonsense.

“Bryan. Leave me alone.”

I tried to walk away from him, but he snatched my elbow and kept me near him.

He stuck his face in front of me with a pouty lower lip.

“Oh no. You didn’t know, did you?” he asked with mock sincerity. “This is priceless!” He broke into a chuckle.

“Fuck off, Bryan.”

I shoved him aside and stepped past him

“You know, baby girl, the judge wouldn’t like you subjecting Jake to such people. I think I will give my attorney a call!” he hollered.

I stormed to my car. It felt like a wrecking ball collided with my head as I tried to gather my thoughts. A whore? What the fuck was he talking about.

Scrambling for my phone, I immediately called Juls. Four rings.

“Yo.”

“Hey,” I said. “Is Blake a whore?”

“Well, I don’t think we need to do any name calling,” she laughed. “He likes sex as much as I do. He’s coming to Texas in a month. And don’t say a word about that. It’s for sex only. I don’t do relationships.”

“No. Juls. I mean what does he do for a living?”

“Are you asking if he’s a prostitute whore? Like a pretty woman Julia Roberts sort of thing?”

I held the phone between my shoulder and ear as I reversed and looked over my shoulder.

“Yes. That is what I am asking.”

“Is this a joke, Sam?”

“No. Bryan just met me at the hospital and broke the news that Mac is a man whore. He was dead serious, Juls.”

“I’m calling Blake,” she growled.

“No. Please don’t. I’m driving up there right now.”

“You’re driving to Carson City?”

I just blew through a yellow-reddish light. “Yes.”

“Jesus Christ, Sam. I’m worried.”

“Why?”

“Because he fucks like one,” Juls said.

A gnawing in my gut wrenched painfully. “Yeah, so does Mac.”

Given that I’d never been to a strip bar, I really had nothing to compare this place to. But the images I had in my head didn’t match. A strip club, I pictured as seedy and dank. This looked more like a manor. A miniature castle.

My heart pounded erratically in my chest as my pulse swooshed in my ears. For whatever reason, I closed my car door quietly. The cars in the lot next to my Acura were just as nice or nicer. About six of them. There was a fence around the place and an intercom at the gate.

“May I help you, Ma’am?” a male voice quietly asked through the intercom.

Taking a deep breath. “Yes. I’m here to see…uh…Mac.”

Silence.

“Mac isn’t taking new clients. Is there someone else you’d like to see?”

I swallowed, forcing down the contents thrashing around in my stomach. Not taking new clients? But still seeing old ones?

“I’ll see whoever,” I said softly.

The gate buzzed, and a handsome young guy stepped out the front doors.

“Good day,” he said. “Have you been here before?” he asked, his accent sounded Australian .

“I’ve not. This is all new to me.”

He smiled warmly. “Please come in. We can go over the services and you can meet the men. What’s your name?”

“Juls,” I lied.

“Well, Juls. We are glad you’re joining us today. We do have some beginners specials.” He winked, and though he was nice, my skin crawled.

I wanted to ask him if they had a barf bag for a ‘just in case moment.’ The air conditioning was working overtime because this place was cold. My eyes darted all around me as we walked through the entryway into a little study with loads of books and a desk. Pictures of Blake and Mac decorated one wall. What the hell… His beauty radiated even in still pictures. They’d been friends for years, as shown in the numerous pictures.

“So. We can do this a couple of ways. You can pick the gentleman you’d like to spend your time with, go with him or them, and then decide what you would like to do. You can discuss whatever hard limits you may have. But the first thousand is due up front.”

“Thousand? Dollars?” That drew my attention away from the pictures.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I pulled my credit card out and handed it to him.

He did a once over of the ID. “Juls?” he asked with a cocked brow.

“I thought I could pay cash. So I obviously lied about my name.”

A comforting smile crossed his face. “You don’t have to be embarrassed here. And, we keep everything very confidential. Very discreet.”

I nodded; he ran the card and then pushed a button.

“If you’ll come this way, please.”

We stepped out into a hallway and walked toward a main room. Suddenly, I felt out of place with my hospital scrubs and hair in a messy ponytail.

When we rounded the corner, the room was spectacular. A spiral staircase was obviously the central focus, but an oversized mahogany bar with stools in front also captured the eye. Then, a door opened next to the bar and guys…delicious guys… paraded out single file. Each of them stared at me with polite eyes and friendly smiles. I wondered if any one of them might possibly recognize me.

“Gentleman, this is Juls,” Will introduced me with a wink.

A round of ‘hi Juls’ and nods from the cowboy, the guy in uniform, the construction worker. Jesus…it was like The Village People. I wondered if they’d break out in their own rendition of YMCA. Every single one of them was distinctively different than Mac. I was certain that was the point. Variety. Selection. And, it was selection time.

A feeling of nausea swarmed over me. I swallowed, forcing the bile in my stomach down. The thought of being with another man sickened me.

“I’m nervous,” I said, wringing my hands. “I just pick?”

Will smiled. “Yes. Don’t be nervous. After you pick, you can step up to the bar, chat and have a drink. Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to. This is consent only.”