Dirty Tackle: A Football Romance (8 page)

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t think of the best way to say, “Shane, you have a daughter.” All of the scenarios that I ran through in my head and tried to practice in front of the mirror were never right. That was what I was starting to understand. None of it was ever going to be right. This was the guilt that had wracked me daily since I got on that plane.

I thought he wouldn’t want to be bothered with me, that his lawyer or agent would tell him I was trying to bleed him for money. That was part of what had motivated me to become a doctor—I’d always wanted enough money to take care of Scarlet on my own. When I was in school with Shane, I was studying in their nursing program. When I came home to Rosewood and eventually got into the University of Virginia, there was a little voice inside of me that said,
Why not a doctor, Maddy?
 

As my belly swelled and I grew big and unwieldy, driving from Rosewood to Charlottesville every week, I gave it more thought. When I found out the baby was a girl, the deal was sealed. A nurse was a fantastic profession—but I’d prove to myself, the world, and my daughter that I could ace organic chemistry with the best of them. And to every damn person in the entirety of the South that a black woman could be a doctor, a single mother, and a total badass.
 

When I arrived in DC, I thought it would be a breeze to tell Shane about Scarlet. Well, not a breeze. But easy enough, anyway. After all, I’d been through the
hard
part of my life. I’d gone to college and med school on my own while taking care of a colicky—and oh so beautiful—little girl. I’d built up my career while going to American Girl tea parties and selling girl scout cookies.
 

I’d done it all with flair and style. And I’ve never regretted a moment of it.

Until I saw Shane leaning over Sylvia’s desk, that is. Asking about me. Wondering where I was. Had he been wondering all these years?
 

He’d never tried to call. He’d just gone on through his football career at Brooks, gaining more and more notoriety.
 

And then Washington had hired him. Just like I’d always told him they would. His favorite team. Our home team.
 

I had been so certain back I was doing the right thing. Shane was born to be a star. Hadn’t the last nine years proved me correct on that front? He had blown all of the school records away. He’d been recruited by Washington when he was still a junior. He had admirably decided to finish out his senior year before moving up to the pros. Since then, he just got better with every passing year.
 

I knew based on my medical training, though, that it was only going to last for so long. At some point, the continual pressure and stress that he put on his body would take its toll. He only had a short time to be at the top of his game. When he looked at the rest of his life, I never wanted him to feel any kind of regret or feeling of loss of a life unfulfilled.

I’d always planned on telling him when he retired. When his life slowed down.

Of course, I couldn’t help but feel like a bit of a hypocrite. Hadn’t I gone off to college and done it all? I’d had my parents to help with Scarlet. But it had still meant endless long nights. Being up with her, trying to maneuver classes along with getting her to daycare and school, feeling the mommy guilt that came from missing something important because I had a final or couldn’t get out of on-call duty. I had given up a lot, but I didn’t regret it for a second. Scarlet was my world.

If I had given him the chance, would Shane have done the same thing? That was the question that kept me up at night. It was the question that had almost made me turn down the job at Gilmore. But I knew that this day would eventually come—Gilmore just conveniently sped up my timeline. Scarlet deserved to know she had a father. And now, having seen Shane again and feeling the depth of his feelings for me after all of this time, I knew that I had to come clean. I just didn’t know how.

Because of all of these thoughts spinning through my head, I missed hearing the sound of the door that told me that someone else had entered the gym. As I walked out of the office, I stopped short. The young woman that had interrupted me and Shane earlier was standing there glaring in my direction. I couldn’t remember her name. I had seen her earlier in the day, but she hadn’t even looked in my direction. I assumed that she was part of the front office staff.
 

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“I’m here to help you.” She stepped closer to me now and drew up to her full height. I could see where people would think that she was pretty. I wasn’t vain enough to think that I was the best looking woman in a room, but I thought that I held my own against this woman. Granted, she was tall and thin and blonde, but my mom had raised me to be proud of my curves. She had told me how much men appreciated a little extra junk in the trunk. Hadn’t Shane made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world the night before? I didn’t feel any jealousy towards this woman.
 

“Excuse me?” I said. I was wondering what in the world she thought that she needed to tell me. It was clear that she wasn’t a doctor.
 

“My name is Olivia Watson,” she said.

Her last name rang with a familiar note. It was the same as the general manager’s. “Any relation to Jeff Watson?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m his daughter.”

Now I was really confused. What did the daughter of the GM want with me? “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure why you’re here. Perhaps you can enlighten me?” I tried to keep my tone friendly even though it was obvious that she had a problem with me.

“My dad depends on me to keep a pulse on the team. I’m in charge of all the social media. That includes attending appearances and games and anywhere the players go and anyone they interact with. So if there’s someone who is being disruptive to a player that would affect his performance, it would be my responsibility to tell my dad,” she said.

I was starting to feel less confused and more annoyed. Even a little pissed off. “It’s only my second week. I’ve seen a few members of the team so far, and all of their injuries are on track. When you say that someone is being disruptive, I’m not quite sure what you mean,” I said. I was starting to feel like this was a personal attack.

Then it all seemed to click into place. I thought about the way that she had glared at me and Shane earlier and the rude way she had interrupted us. She had something with Shane, even though he said she wasn’t his girlfriend.
 

“You are disruptive if you are getting in the way of Shane being able to perform at his best. Shane performs at his best when he’s with me. That’s something that you need to learn, and that’s a bit of free advice,” she said. Her tone had grown possessive.
 
I distinctly felt like she was comparing herself to me and judging herself to be better.

“I’m not sure exactly what you mean since you continue to speak in vague threats. But I can assure you that me and Shane would be off-limits as far as the topic of discussion between you and me, especially how we’ve just met,” I said. “As far as being disruptive, I think that’s a joke. I’m here, and I’m doing my job. If you have a problem with that, you can take that to your dad. I think that I will have more than proved my worth by then.”

Despite my strong words, I felt a small nagging fear of doubt wondering if she did have the kind of influence over her father that she could sway his opinion of me despite any evidence to the contrary.

“I can get you fired,” she said quietly. But the quiet didn’t mask the venom in her tone.

“I don’t think that it is a good idea to threaten me,” I said. “It’s Olivia, right?”

She lifted her chin. That was her only response.

“Olivia, I am doing nothing wrong. The only thing that I’m doing here is my job. Shane is a man free to do whatever he wants. That is all that you need to know,” I said. That was actually more than she needed to know, but I had to put out some kind of concession so that she didn’t do something like a run off and tell her dad I had screwed something up before I had a chance to establish my reputation with the team.

She sniffed. “We’ll see about that. Just remember what I said. If Shane starts tanking in his performance, I’m going to point the blame directly at you. Better yet, keep away from him. If you know what’s good for you.” She turned on her heel and left the room.

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. It was like I was back in high school all over again. I let out a long sigh. It had been a long day. I’d seen patients at the clinic all morning. I looked at my watch. I needed to get home. Scarlet would already be home for school, and I promised her that I would be home for dinner after skipping out on it last night with the lame excuse that I had to work late. I couldn’t do that more than a few times without having to answer some questions that I wasn’t ready to answer yet.

I walked out the door and headed towards the parking lot. I was intercepted by Shane before I made it ten feet. “Hey, beautiful,” he said to me. He reached for me, and I put my arm up to stop him.
 

“Don’t you have practice right now?”

“I told Coach that I needed to get something from the locker room. I knew your last appointment was at three. I wanted to catch you before you left to see if you wanted to get together tonight for dinner?”

It had all been too much. Between Shane, the new job, and Olivia, I needed time to think and regain my sanity. Plus, before I could let anything else happen with Shane, I had to figure out how to tell him about Scarlet. Aside from that, I had a bit of making up to do with my daughter for being away from her the evening before.

“I can’t tonight, Shane. I have plans.”

He looked chagrined. “With who?”

I was annoyed that he thought he had the right to even ask that question. There was nothing solid about our relationship yet, no matter what he thought about it. “I have plans with an old friend. I can’t be late. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

He was visibly annoyed, which made me even more annoyed. He couldn’t have expected to sweep back into my life and expect me to drop everything for him. Even if I didn’t have a responsibility to my job and my child, I could hardly be expected to be at his beck and call.

“Okay then. I guess I’ll get back to practice,” he said slowly. He must have read my annoyance in my body language.

I let out a small sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to fight me on this, which was a good thing, because I had a feeling there were going to be quite a few tense moments between me and Shane coming up in the very near future. I needed to figure all of this out, and I need to figure it out quickly for everyone’s sake.

I could feel myself softening towards him. It wasn’t his fault that he had no idea what my real issue was. “Look, I want to see you again too. It’s just I really had plans for tonight. I wasn’t expecting all of this. Give me a little bit of space, okay?”

His face relaxed. “Are you sure you can’t cancel your plans? I feel like we have a lot more catching up to do,” he said with a sly smile.

Damn the man. I could feel my body reacting to him already. I couldn’t let myself get taken down that path. He was so distracting. I feel felt like I was in college all over again, and the most handsome boy in the world was smiling at me. How could he make me feel like this without even touching me?

“I will see you tomorrow. I promise,” I said gently.

I started to turn away, but he grabbed my arm. He spun me into him, and I gasped. His lips were on mine, and his hands were in my hair. I couldn’t stop myself from opening my mouth to his hungry tongue. He pressed me hard against the wall behind me. The sensations flowing through me were intoxicating and entirely wonderful. I let myself with it, but just for a moment. Then I gently pressed my hands against his chest and broke the kiss.

“I needed to give you something to remember me by,” he said with a wink, but I heard the panting in his voice. “There is more of that to come if you change your mind later.”

I straightened my clothes and looked around hoping that no one had seen us. That last thing I needed was being tied to Shane before I had a chance to even say anything Scarlet. The whole situation was so delicate, and I was fumbling it completely.

“Thanks, Shane. I’ll remember that,” I said with a short smile. I turned and walked away as quickly as I could. I couldn’t see him, but I felt the weight of his eyes on my back even as I left him standing there alone.

There was only one good thing about getting the shit beat out of me on a daily basis by Coach. It meant that if I wanted to have a beer with dinner, I knew that I could without it affecting too much. That was one big thing during the regular season. There was a lot of talk about treating your body like a vessel. A temple to the sports gods above. There was also a lot of superstition among different team members about what to do to ensure the win on Sunday.

I didn’t feel like I was all that superstitious, but I knew that I had been in a little bit of a slump lately. That was evidenced by how hard Coach worked me during practice. It wasn’t just me, though; it was the whole team. We had been off our game the last two Sundays, and we needed a ‘W’ in the win column come this Sunday. I guess I should have thanked Maddy for not taking me up on my offer for dinner. I knew that she was distracting me despite my best efforts.