Discovering Delilah (Harborside Nights, Book 2) (29 page)

Things are so different for your generation. Thank goodness for that, right? Know we love you and we’re trying.

Happy graduation!
Drive carefully tomorrow (or today, if you read this in the morning).

Love Mom (and Dad)

I read the letter three times, soaking in every word.

They wanted to try
.

“I need to go back.”

“To their graves?” Aunt Lara looks toward the graves.

“No. I mean, yes. I’ll come back here, but I want to see Ashley.”

Her brows knit together, and then her eyes widen. “Ash…Oh.
Ashley?” She smiles.

I smile, and tears burn my eyes again, but they’re no longer angry tears.

“Oh, Delilah.” Aunt Lara embraces me and strokes the back of my hair, like my mom used to do. “They loved you so very much.”

I draw in a deep breath. “Thank you for coming, Aunt Lara. I think I need to apologize to Dad. I kind of told him I hated him.”

“I guess I don’t blame you. Want
me to come?”

I shake my head. “I can meet you back at the house.”

This time I remember every step across the grassy lawn toward my parents’ graves. I notice the umbrella of trees to my left, the stone bench farther down the path, and the recently placed flowers at neighboring graves. As I sink to my knees, I feel every piece of dirt and grass pressing into my skin, and when I read my father’s
headstone, I don’t think the word
conditionally
is missing.

You wanted to try
.

I need to try, too.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I guess our
bubbles
were in different places, but I’m a good person, and I hope you really did know that. I love you and Mom so much.”

~Ashley~

THANKS TO BRANDON, I find Delilah’s parents’ house without getting lost. He programmed the address into my GPS. My heart is jackhammering as I drive down her road. The houses here are monstrous compared to my parents’ house. It’s kind of intimidating. Delilah isn’t pretentious at all, but as I pass the manicured lawns, expensive cars parked out front
of stone Colonials with massive pillars running two stories high and yards bigger than three of our neighbors’ yards put together, I can’t help wondering what she thought as she drove down our street. I recheck her address, and my stomach sinks when I don’t see her Jeep in the driveway.

What if she’s already left Connecticut?

I park in front of her house and grab my phone from the passenger
seat. There’s a text from Brandon.
Text me so I know you arrived safely.

Good timing.

I respond quickly.
Just rolled in, safe and sound.

His response comes in a few seconds later.
Good luck!

I press Delilah’s speed-dial number and listen to it ringing, hoping she isn’t upset that I came without calling. I hear loud music and turn as Delilah’s Jeep pulls up alongside my car.

“Hey!” Her eyes are red, like she’s been crying. “You’re here.” She looks down at her passenger seat and turns down her radio, then holds up her ringing phone. “And you’re calling me.”

I end the call, happy that she’s not upset with me. “I had to see you.”

“I was just going to get my stuff and drive home to see you! Let me park. Hold on.”

I scramble out of the car as she parks and remind
myself not to jump into her arms. This is her neighborhood, and a very conservative one at that. I’ll only make things more uncomfortable for her if I’m too eager. She comes around the side of her car and—my heart swells with emotion
.
She’s so beautiful, and she’s smiling. Smiling! Her hips sway with newfound confidence, and she’s wearing her boots, which makes me so happy, given where we are
right now. I shove my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching for her.

She opens her arms and pulls me into an embrace. “God, I missed you. I’m so sorry.”

I stay stock-still for a second, wondering if she realizes that we’re standing where anyone can see us. She’s hugging me like she wants to climb inside my skin, and it overwhelms me. Fresh tears spring to my eyes, and I can’t resist
wrapping my arms around her. “
I’m
sorry. I should have told you about the texts.”

“No. I shouldn’t have overreacted. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. For making you feel like our relationship isn’t everything in the world to me, when it really is. For letting my father make me feel like I needed to hide it from the world. I was no better than him, and I’m sorry.”

She’s still holding
me close, and when she draws back and looks into my eyes, she keeps her body pressed to mine.

“Ashley, so much has happened today, all of it good, but…”

She searches my eyes, and the air between us shifts, warms. She seals her lips over mine, and for a second I’m too stunned to return the kiss. She presses her hand to the back of my head, keeping me close. Her tongue snakes over my lower
lip, urging my mouth open, and I give in, finally, blissfully falling into our kiss.

I hear a door open, and when our mouths part, Delilah’s lips curve up in a gratified smile.

“Oh, sorry.” A woman starts to close the front door of the house.

“Wait.” Delilah takes my hand and leads me up the walk. “Aunt Lara, this is my
girlfriend
, Ashley Carver.”

Lara covers her mouth with her
hand. The wrinkles around her eyes tell me she’s smiling. “Ashley, I couldn’t be happier to meet you.” She pulls me into her arms. “Would you like to come inside?”

Delilah reclaims my hand. “We will, in a few minutes. I want to take her over to the cemetery first.”

“Oh, okay.” Lara’s eyes are wide with surprise and a hint of skepticism, matching my thoughts.

“It’s nice to meet you,”
I finally manage, still in shock by Delilah’s turnaround.

“You, too.” Lara waves as Delilah leads me back to the Jeep.

She starts the engine and leans across the front seat, taking me in another mind-blowing kiss.

“I’m so glad you’re here, and I will never—
ever
—deny our relationship again.” Delilah puts on her seat belt, then reaches across me and clicks mine into place while I sit
in stunned silence. “I don’t care if people stare or disapprove. The more I hide my feelings for you, the more I perpetuate the biases of older bubbles.”

“
Older
bubbles
?”

“Generations.” She laughs and shakes her head. “Bubbles,” she says under her breath.

“Delilah…What changed?”

She stops at a stop sign and sets her confident green eyes on me.

“Everything.”

~Delilah~

I PARK AT the cemetery and step from the Jeep, then walk around to the back and unwrap the package that I bought on my way back to my parents’ house before finding Ashley there. I hadn’t intended to use it until I was back at Harborside, but I’m done waiting.

“What are you doing?” she asks as she comes around to my side of the Jeep.

I tuck the item into my back pocket. “Nothing.” I wrap
my arm around Ashley’s waist and lead her away from the Jeep. She tries to peek at my back, but I lean backward and block her view.

“Stop looking, Little Miss Need to Know.”

She laughs.

I love her laugh.

I want her to laugh again just so I can hear it and watch her eyes light up.

Until now I was dipping my toe into the water of our relationship. Now I’ve finally taken the plunge.
And it feels so good I think I might burst.

“Did someone give you magic
coming out
pills? Because that was one hell of a toe-curling kiss you gave me in front of your house,” Ashley says as we cross the grass toward my parents’ graves.

I pull her closer. “I couldn’t help myself. I hope I didn’t embarrass you.”

That earned me the laugh I crave.

“The last few months have been really
hard, but not nearly as hard as the last twenty-four hours. I think I went through every stage of grief at once.”

She leans her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Dee. I’ll never keep a secret from you again. I went to see Sandy, and it was a disaster.”

My stomach twists. “You saw her?”

Ashley nods. “Brandon went with me.”

“Brandon?”

“Don’t ask. I wanted to tell her off, and
I did, but as I was yelling at her, I realized that it was me who had hurt you, not her. I’m the one who didn’t share her texts with you. I didn’t want you to worry.”

We stop walking in front of my parents’ graves, and she continues her confession.

“If I’m being completely honest, I was probably also keeping them to remind myself that I didn’t want to be anyone’s dirty little secret again.”

“Oh.”
No, no, no. Please don’t tell me you don’t want us anymore.
I drop my eyes, and she steps in closer, lifts my chin.

“Delilah, I’m not going anywhere. I may have been keeping the texts as reminders, but all they did was piss me off. I admit that I don’t like holding back my feelings for you in public, because I feel more for you than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone in my entire
life. You can rest assured that I will never leave you because of that. You’ve become my best friend, the person I want to share my life
and
my bed with. I want to be the one you call when you’re happy or sad, the person you trust to love you no matter what. I want to wake up and see your sleepy face, and I want to sit on the dunes with you while you teach me to sketch and I mess up because I’m
too busy staring at you. No pressure. No ultimatums. When you’re ready to own our relationship, I’ll be right here by your side, waiting for you.”

“Ash…” I blink several times to keep from crying. I’ve cried enough for a lifetime. “I’m ready.” I face my parents’ graves. “Mom, Dad, this is Ashley Carver, my girlfriend.”

Ashley squeezes my hand.

“I love her. I love the person she is
and the person she wants to be. I love the way she makes me feel, and when I’m with her, I’m proud of who I am.”

I wipe a tear from Ashley’s cheek with my thumb, then place my hands on her cheeks and gaze into her eyes. I want her to feel my love for her, to know it’s real and true and that I’m done pretending I’m not her girlfriend.

“I love you, Ashley, and I hope this is loud enough
for you to hear me.”

I take the microphone from my back pocket, turn it on. She and I both smile as I speak into it.

“I love you, Ashley.” It doesn’t amplify my voice. Ashley’s eyes are wide, and her jaw is hanging open. Her fingers slip into my front pocket and hold on tight.  I turn the microphone over in my hands.

“Um, Dee?”

“Wait. Let me try again.” I turn it off, then on again.
“I love you, Ashley!” Even when I yell, it doesn’t amplify my voice.

She leans in close and whispers, “I think you need a speaker.”

We both burst into laughter.

“I heard you loud and clear, you big dork!”

“Ha! You have a dorky girlfriend. What does that say about you?”

“That I’m the luckiest girl around.”

When her lips touch mine, I want to argue that she’s wrong, that
I’m
the luckiest girl around. But I don’t break our connection—and I have a feeling nothing ever will.

~Delilah~

I NEVER THOUGHT that anything good could come from losing someone I loved, and don’t get me wrong, I’d do anything to have my parents back in my life, even with all the guilt they left me with. But that’s not going to happen. I’ll never be able to take back my thoughts of wishing my parents didn’t exist, and I can never relive the years I kept my desires a secret.
I can’t go backward. None of us can. But sitting on the beach watching a roaring bonfire with Ashley cuddled up beside me, surrounded by our best friends, I know I have them to thank for how far I’ve come.

I don’t wish I could have a do-over. 

I just want to do things right as we move forward.

Cassidy’s singing a Matchbox Twenty song while Brandon plays the guitar, and Wyatt’s sitting
beside her, looking at her like he loves her more than life itself. And I know he does.

“So, you’re really moving out?” Tristan sips a beer and hands the bottle to Charley. They’re sharing a blanket across from us.

“Yup. And you get to help me move.” After I got back from Connecticut, I stopped by Ashley’s apartment complex and turned in my rental application. They called this morning
with the good news. I am now the proud renter of a one-bedroom apartment.

I feel Wyatt’s glare. He’s still not sold on the idea of me living alone, but he’s trying to give me the space I need.

“Wyatt, she’ll be okay.” Brooke reaches over and pats his leg. “How did you ever make it when she lived in the girls’ dorm the first year of college?”

Wyatt rolls his eyes. “I think I was worse
than my parents. I went by every day to make sure she was okay.”

“When Jesse and I went away to school, I think my mom celebrated.” Brent laughs.

Jesse pokes the fire with a stick. “She might have celebrated you leaving, but she missed me.”

Brent gives him a playful shove.

“We have some rules to work out. Nightly check-ins, things like that.” Wyatt’s lips quirk up, and I know he’s
teasing.

“Yeah, like
Brandon
gets a key in case he needs a place to stay.” Brandon holds out a hand and Wyatt high-fives him.

Ashley wraps her arms around my waist. “I’ll make sure she’s safe, Wyatt.”

Wyatt gives me a look of approval. I never realized how heavily the way I hid my feelings weighed on him. I smile to let him know I understand, and I place my hand on Ashley’s—because
I want to.

“Are we ready?” Wyatt stands and pulls Cassidy up beside him. She grabs her camera.

“Yeah, as ready as we’re going to get.” Ashley and I stand, and everyone else follows suit.

We all walk toward the deck. Wyatt drapes an arm over my shoulder.

“You okay?”

“I’m better than I ever thought I would be.” I reach for Ashley’s hand. “Much better.”

“You know that even
when you live at that apartment complex, you can call me anytime, right? I’ll drop what I’m doing and come over.” Wyatt’s voice is so serious it’s a little startling.