Discovering Me (Breakneck #4)
Read Discovering Me (Breakneck #4) Online
Authors: Crystal Spears
A special thanks to my readers for naming some of my characters.
Discovering Me
By Crystal Spears
©Copyright 2014 Crystal Spears
All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2014 by Crystal D. Spears Books
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher Crystal Spears except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
All names, work of arts, places are fictitious and from the imagination of the Author.
Any references to historical events, real people, real locales, or brands are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblances to actual events or locales or person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This material contains New Adult/Mature acts and/or situations along with language.
To contact the author for any reason, you will find contact information at the back of this novel.
Author
Crystal Spears
Editor
Katie Mac @ Indie Express, LLC
Graphic Design By
Melissa Gill @ MGBookCovers
eBook Formatting
Crystal Spears
A letter from the author,
Dear Readers,
In order to understand the series, I suggest reading them from the start. The order is as follows: Seize Me, Withstanding Me, Resenting Me, Shadowing Me, and Discovering Me. This novel is not for the faint of heart and contains very intense graphic scenes. Violence, rape, drugs, language, murder, vengeance, racial slurs, and weapons are used. Please heed this warning carefully. This novel is for readers 18 and over and again, not for the faint of heart. This is by far my favorite novel of the series to date. There is no instant love, but a love that was there all along… they just had to discover it.
Thank you,
Crystal Spears
Chapter One
Piper
“Breathe in, breathe out.”
His hot breath blows against the dip of my neck. Hands roam my arms as he steadies my position. He runs his thumbs along my skin as he adjusts me to his liking. My hands shake, nerves flaring, as his body presses closer to mine. His muscles compel me to recognize the strength behind his frame. My eyes flutter, my skin heats, and I breathe in as he moves in closer behind me. His smell invades my senses, and I become lost in the sensation of the few memories I have where his scent burned its way into my brain.
Focus, Piper.
Focus on what is in front of you. Disregard the man behind you. Ignore the past he has begged you to forget time and again.
“Piper,” he rumbles in my ear.
His tone snaps me out of my coma, and I turn my head to peer at him as he looks down at me with disappointment.
“Yeah,” I answer with a false clueless retort.
Sniper tilts his head to the side. His gray eyes twinkle at me and he bares his straight white teeth when he grins at me. “You weren’t payin’ attention to a damn thing, were you?”
I make a sound that should never come out of a female’s mouth in front of a man, and I shrug and turn my attention back to the target. Sweat beads in my trembling hand as I aim ahead of me.
“Piper…”
Oh, for heaven’s sake. “Hmm…”
This is all I can force out at the moment. I wish I could forget the night on the pool table ever happened, but I can’t. Stuck in my head is the blissful memory he wants me to forget.
“Baby, are you even listenin’ to me?”
I flick the safety on my gun and lower it with frustration. “How am I supposed to pay attention when you say my name with that stupid, honey drip?”
Sniper’s touch disappears as he steps backwards and I grow even more exasperated. This isn’t us. We aren’t afraid to be near one another. Yes, we get mad and we fight, but we never step away from one another. Ever.
“You had to do that fuckin’ ecstasy with Tea. You had to fuck everything up!”
If he expects me to say I’m sorry, he’ll be waiting forever for my apology. I will not apologize for living my life and having a little fun. I’m young and, sure, I might be running from my shit past, but that is another reason why I live life so free and open.
“If you can’t deal with what happened between us, then we need to take a break,” I say, my words calm. I pivot on my heels and give the gun to him as I walk away.
“Take a break?” he sputters in disbelief. “We’re not even together!”
I throw my hand up in the air behind me and flick my wrist in a ‘whatever’ movement. “So not the point, Snipe. I meant a break from our friendship.”
Saying it should make my stomach knot up from fighting with him. It normally does, but not this time around. I think I have learned how to ignore the awful feeling that comes over me every time we argue.
“This is crazy talk, Piper. Would you fuckin’ stop walkin’,” he roars over the sound of his stomping boots as he rushes towards me.
Of course, me being the stubborn, bullheaded person I am, I don’t listen and keep walking towards my car. He should have known I was in one of my moods long before we got out in the middle of nowhere to shoot guns. I demanded we take my car and not his precious, beloved bike. Okay, that was a little uncalled for. I love his lady, and I love riding on it.
“Pipe…” he whispers as he maneuvers himself in front of me.
Not that tone, Sniper. Any tone, but that one.
The softness escaping him is part of the Sniper I give in to. The man that reminds me that he, too, is human. That he, too, looks for the same things in life I do. When my feelings towards him grow stronger, I slam them back down again and build a false image of him to calm the unsteadiness of my heart. If I think of him as a careless, hard ass biker, it helps for a little while. Not long, but long enough for me to get my bearings straight again.
I put one of my hands on the hood of my car, tilt my head down to stare at the gravel, and toe my tire with my boot-covered foot. I don’t know whom I am trying to fool. He knows I am looking for an out of this conversation he is trying to have with me.
“I don’t know what to do… We are off from how we normally are,” I mumble while I bite my bottom lip, a nervous habit I picked up from Lana in the short time I was blessed to know her.
“Ain’t that the fuckin’ truth, babe. Shit is fuckin’ with me, too. I fucked my best friend, multiple times in one night. You think that’s sittin’ well up in my head?”
I shake my head back and forth. “I had myself back down to thinking just about the pool table incident, Sniper!” I exclaim. “How dare you put that back in my mind?”
I worked so hard at pushing a huge part of that night away.
“Sure, because it’s only fuckin’ hard for you, right? Who knew the best pussy I would ever have would be the pussy of my best friend? This shit has me as twisted as it has you! I don’t want to fall in love with my best friend, no more than you do!” He shoves away from my car and stomps around to the passenger side. “Take my ass home. You’ve pissed me off.”
I take the opportunity to peek over at him as he climbs into the car and slams the door. I have to fix this. Sniper and I are two peas in a pod around the club. The happy ones, the jokesters of the club, and if we go back and we’re jumping down one another’s throats, it’ll cause unnecessary tension.
I open my car door and slink inside without making a sound. I don’t stick my keys into the ignition. Instead, I lean my head against the steering wheel, press down on the horn, and plaster on a smile as I turn to look over at him. My cheek rests against the wheel and my smile brightens as I catch the grin he is trying to shake from his face.
“What in the hell am I gonna do with you, darlin’?” He chuckles as he reaches over, grabs my arms, and jerks me into his hard chest. “You’re a pain in my ass!”
I shove away from him before he can squeeze me tight. “Love me, but not fall in love with me. What in the hell were you thinking, saying something so stupid?” I chuckle as I reach for my keys to crank my car.
“God, I’m gonna find me a woman, but I don’t want that woman to be you. No offense, babe.”
I completely agree with him. My love for this man is deep, but falling in love with my best friend would be the biggest mistake of my life. He is my rock. The one person I can always lean on no matter what. If I fell head over heels in love with Sniper, he would destroy me. I would lose that steady ease he gives me.
“Agreed. Love you, Sniper. I do, but we would destroy one another.” I look both directions to insure cars aren’t coming and pull onto the open, deserted road.
“You better not have scarred my dick for life. I’m not playin’, darlin’. Shit! It ain’t even just my cock. I still have the taste of your pussy on my lips.”
And he had to go there. “Savor it, baby!”
His laughter roars in my ears. “Piper, the Pied Piper of pussies!”
That son of a bitch. “You suck. I’ve a good mind to dye my hair to piss you off.”
His amusement stops cold, and my skin prickles at the daggers his eyes shoot at me. “Do it, and I swear I’ll sit on the roof of the live-in and use your car for target practice.”
He would, too. Everything has to be real for Sniper. It’s an obsession for him, and he loves that about me, his best friend. I am one hundred percent genuine.
“Then come up with something else. Pied-Piper doesn’t do it for me.”
He drums his long fingers on the windowsill. “It was meant as a compliment.”
Yeah, right. Sniper is straightforward with those. He hands them out on a regular basis. “Liar.”
As we drive down the long road back to the MC, my mind wanders. If he finds someone, and she doesn’t like me, our friendship will be over. Our easygoing banter will cease and I will be left devastated. I don’t care for those odds. I can’t fall head over heels in love with him, and I risk losing him when he does find someone. The steady hum of my heart isn’t so steady anymore. Now it beats hard and fast against my chest cavity.
“Snipe…” I squeak.
“Yeah,” he answers.
I square my shoulders and refuse to take my eyes off the road. “What if whoever you find doesn’t like me, and she demands you cut our closeness, what then?”
His hand drops onto my bare thigh and his fingers dig into my skin. “If she doesn’t like you from the start, she’s gone. I won’t even have a chance to fall in love, because whoever I fall in love with, she has to love you as much as I do.”
Sure, it is sweet, but it doesn’t ease my anxiety, and he senses it.
“Slow down and pull the car over,” he demands through gritted teeth.
I take my foot off the accelerator and mash the brake as I pull over to the side of the road.
“Look at me, baby, cause we ain’t goin’ no further until this shit is cleared up.”
I lean all the way back in my seat and turn my head towards him, my eyes watering as I do.
“Me and you, we’re thick as fuckin’ thieves, darlin’. You’re like one of the guys, but pretty and clean. You joke around, you love, and you live life to the fullest. Our friendship is… Our friendship is special and always will be. I’m not lettin’ a single person fuck that up, not even one of us. Understand?”