Discovery at Nerwolix (10 page)

“Fallon, I…” his words are soft, tender. A
giant knot grows in my stomach as he rubs the back of his neck,
searching for a response. “I haven’t said…
that
… to anyone in
a while. I…” he gulps, his breathing coming in labored gasps. “You
mean more to me than anything.
Anything
. You know that.”

“It’s fine,” I start to shake my head,
ignoring the painful crater in my chest.

Reid holds my face in his hands, stilling
me. “You know that I lo—” he inhales, trying to find the words
getting stuck in his throat. “You know how I feel. You are it for
me.”

I nod.

“Just give me a little more time,” he
frowns. “Please? The last time I said those words…” visible pain
emerges as his breath hitches. He closes his eyes and it breaks my
heart. “They’re not just words. They’re a promise. And I want to
keep it this time.”

“I understand.”

And I do. He’s not ready to tell me. Part of
my heart is breaking but I have to remember how hard this must be
for him. He made a promise to another girl that he’d spend his life
with her and he’s here, with me. And Reid isn’t the type to break a
vow like that. And he did. Even though there’s a stinging ache deep
in my chest, I do my best to suppress it. It isn’t fair to him. I
said what I have to and I know how he feels about me. Reid just
needs time. And I can give him that.

He leans in and places a gentle kiss on my
lips. It’s sweet like the ones before, but there’s something else
in it. Apology. Faith. He pulls back, the ghost of a frown on his
face. “Let’s get some sleep. You need to rest.”

I
am
tired after everything that
happened with the Vermix, but sleep is the last thing I want. I
want to crawl away and maybe quietly cry to myself, tend to this
aching wound. Not that I think Reid doesn’t love me—I’m sure he
does—but I guess I was hoping he’d say it. Expecting he would. And
the fact that he didn’t stirs an uncontrollable ache I wish would
just go away.

Reid covers the jar of fireflies, darkening
the room. He lays back, wrapping an arm around me, pulling me
close. He nuzzles closer, resting his nose in the crook of my neck.
“You okay?”

“Uh-huh.”

We lay in the quiet darkness after that. I’m
not sure when Reid falls asleep but I stay up for a while, just
staring at the wooden wall, wishing the tight pressure in my chest
would stop already. It’s hard to breathe so I count to ten over and
over again and finally, at some point, succumb to an overwhelming
slumber.

A curved, wooden ceiling hangs over me.

Blinking, I rub my eye, bringing myself to a
fully conscious state. Where am I? We’ve been all over the place
lately and I’m trying to remember where the last stop was. Oh
right—this is Nerwolix. They brought me back here after I got left
behind with the Vermix.

Bringing the heel of my hand to my other
eye, I stare up at the dark mahogany, finding golden veins
traveling through the deep bark. I follow them across the way and
to the other end of my home where Reid sits in his tribal wear on
one of the red cushions. Arms crossed, he’s leaning back, his focus
comfortably centered on me.

“Hi…” I brush a curl behind my ear as I sit
up and scoot back. My focus drops to his bare chest and I blush.
“How long have you been sitting there?”

“Not long.”

“How long’s not long?”

“All morning,” he shrugs. “Except,” he
shifts forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “the half hour I
grabbed some food and told the others you were still sleeping.”

“Who?”

“Pratt and Mae, mostly. They’ve been asking
for you since last night. I let you sleep for a little while.”

“What time is it?”

“About an hour from noon.”

“Shit,” I bring my hand to my forehead. “I’m
sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”

“You’re recovering,” he shrugs. “You need
your rest.”

Images from yesterday flash—arriving on
Larupip, the Pwebole ambush and being captured by the Vermix, the
rescue and then being brought back here to talk about what I
overheard and what it all means. And later, when Reid and I were
alone, I confessed the truth. I finally admitted what I feel for
him, how much I care for him and he…he didn’t say it back. The
familiar ache pierces through me, jolting my chest but I ignore
it.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I shake my head. “Breakfast?”

“More like lunch,” he gets up, motioning for
the animal hides on the floor besides the bed. “Get dressed and
I’ll grab you something to eat. Let the others know you’re
awake.”

He’s gone the next second. Watching the red
curtain close, I wait for it to still before glancing at the floor.
Back into the most uncomfortable clothing ever. With a deep exhale,
I reach for the tribal wear and placing them on the bed, I start
undressing, my mind already racing.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said it. But I wanted
to—I needed to. There was nothing else to say, except the truth.
Because that’s what it is. I
love
him. I love him so much my
heart constricts when I consider not being with him. If something
were to happen—

No.

I’m not going to think about that. Because I
would die. I’m not going to think about the other part either—the
fact that he has a past he’s still connected to. Reid is here; he’s
chosen me but part of him still exists with her, with Allison. It’s
like a stab to my heart. I can’t change what they had. I can’t
change that it ended abruptly and with no cause other than
separation. And I can’t ask him to forget her completely, to forget
what they had. It’s not fair to him. I just have to give him what
he needs. Time.

Pushing it from my mind, I continue getting
dressed. Once I’m in the animal hides—and feeling very close to
naked again—I pull the red curtain open.

“Walker?”

“Fallon,” he flies around, his face flushing
as his eyes scan me. A small smile sparks. “You’re okay.”

“Yeah,” I mirror his glee. “Something
different going around?”

“We heard what happened,” he glances to the
side of my face. “How’re you feeling?”

“Glad to be on Nerwolix.”

“I’m sure. Sorry I wasn’t there. Sampson
only wanted a handful to go and obviously…” he rolls his eyes.
Taking a deep breath, he folds his arms. “I’m happy you’re
back.”

I smile, because I’m not really sure what
else to say. I step forward, toward the giant branch- bridge that
leads to a center post where a wooden platform runs the
circumference of the thin trunk. It stands in the middle of a group
of other bridges that lead to the other homes nearby. They’re all
small like mine, and mostly camouflaged in the lime green
leaves.

Leaning on the edge of the hollowed out
branch, I gaze out at the glistening city of Zinnollo. “How have
things been here?”

He follows me. “Same. Quiet.”

“And Mae and Pratt? How are they?”

“Getting used to things. I’ve been keeping a
close eye on them—me and Zeed.”

“Thank you.”

“And you guys are back for a while now?”

“That’s what I hear,” I stare out into the
lush tree tops. “For the foreseeable future. We’re planning to stay
here for awhile…the next stage of the war at least.”

“Yeah,” Walker scratches the back of his
head. “Hozfin’s not budging on it.”

“I know,” I glance to my wrists. “He will,
though. When the time is right.”

“Learn a lot, did you?” Walker scoffs out a
bit of anger, running his hand through his red hair. “Can’t believe
you were there for a few hours.”

“And out for most of it.”

“Good,” he stares out to the canopy. After a
long second, he shakes his head, angered. “You shouldn’t have been
there in the first place.”

“One of them hit me when we were
leaving.”

“I wouldn’t have let you go,” he sneaks a
glance. “
I
would’ve held on.”

Uncomfortable, I focus on the trees again.
“Can’t undo the past.”

“No…” he shrugs, following my stare, “only
be smarter in the future.”

“I don’t plan on it happening again.”

“I wouldn’t let it.”

“Neither would other people.”

“He did a piss poor job the first time,
didn’t he?”

“Walker,” I turn to him. “I know you
two—”

“That has nothing to do with it. Listen,” he
shakes his head, running his hands through his hair again, “No
one’s done what you have. You’re pretty fucking amazing, and to see
you in such a dangerous situation… I’m sorry, it’s unacceptable. I
can deal with the fact that you want him, but if he can’t take care
of you—”

“Are you
fucking
kidding me,” Reid
growls from deep in his throat. He stands rigid, legs apart, with a
melon in one hand as he pelts Walker with a look of utter
abhorrence.

“Oh,” he rolls his eyes, focusing on the
trees again. “There you are, Rox. Just starting to worry.”

“You should.”

He exhales. “It’s getting tired,
friend.”

“I’m not your friend,” Reid pushes closer.
“Now get the hell out of here.”

“This isn’t your home.”

“Get the hell out of here right
fucking
now.”

“Or what?” he crosses his arms. “I’m a
tribesman. I have more right to be here.”

“Not if you’re dead.”

“Careful there. Not on home territory
anymore.”

“You think I care where I kill you?”

“Stop!” I put a hand on both their chests,
using my most authoritative tone. “Stop it—now!”

“She’s touching me, Rox,” Walker grins. “You
okay with that?”

Reid squeezes his free hand into a fist.

“Fallon!” Pratt calls, rushing up the
nearest bridge.

“Fallon?” Mae rushes behind her. “You’re
back!”

Both are dressed in the same small brown and
beige animal hides, a long braid whipping behind them as they race
closer. Without even slowing, Pratt collides into me, wrapping her
arms around my waist in a tight squeeze. “You’re back.”

“I said I would be,” I return her hug.
God I’ve missed Pratt.

“But they all showed up yesterday,” she
withdraws with a scowl, “
totally
freaked out about what
happened with laura-pop, and what they needed to do and that it had
to be done quickly. I finally had to pull it out of Jace what
happened—that you got separated and were still there with the
Vermix!”

I nod, unable to look at either Walker or
Reid.

“Reid basically
freaked
on Sampson,”
Pratt goes on, “but they went and got you back! And you’re here!”
she squeezes me again.

“Are you okay?” Mae’s brows pinch in
concern, her eyes scanning me. “I heard you were a little roughed
up… are your injuries healing well?”

“I think so…” I rub my wrists. “Clarence
gave me some Vilbrees. I feel fine, actually.”

“Wonderful! We’re glad to have you back…”
she leans in, “…we’ve missed some decent female company.”

“Decent?”

Mae sighs. “Hozfin thinks all the human
females should live near each other—has us grouped together
constantly.”

I narrow my eyes. “Perry?”

I’d almost forgotten she was here. Like Able
and Walker, Perry was brought in Vix’s attempted escape when the
Vermix invaded Harrizel. It was great to see both boys, but
discovering that the girl who led Ansley on her adulterous path was
here…well… that was just disappointing.

“I can’t
stand
her,” Pratt
glares.

“She
is
a handful,” Walker laughs.
“Thinks she’s owed the world, and that it’s hers to rule.”

“Her rule means shit,” Reid scowls. “And
I’ll remind her of that every fucking day.”

“Geez, Rox,” Walker whistles, “tell us how
you really feel.”

“Fuck you Walker, you dumb piece of
shit.”

“Okay, okay,” I hold a hand up to Reid’s
chest as he advances. “Let’s calm down.” I spin to the girls.
“Where are the other Rogues? And Sampson and Clarence?”

“Except for Able, they’re all in Hozfin’s
home.”

“What’s wrong with Able?”

“Didn’t you know?” Mae frowns then blanches.
“Oh, I guess not. He was hit.”

“What?”

“Non-fatal,” Reid comforts. “Chaisle bullet
went right through his shoulder. He’s fine… just sleeping it off,
like you.”

“Oh…” I frown.

“We’ll check on him later. Come on,” Reid
drapes his arm around my shoulder, leading me past the others, “we
need to get to Hozfin’s. I know they want to ask you some more
questions.”

The girls follow right behind us and Walker,
just after them. We walk in silence and reach the king’s home
quickly, finding the massive dwelling in the city center. It’s as
big as I remember it—maybe bigger—with a wider curtain to shield
the long entryway. Dropping his arm, Reid reaches for my hand and
squeezes it. Pulling back the red curtain, he enters first. I’m
right behind him and the others follow us in. Everyone is already
here: all Rogues except Able, the six Dofinikes in human form, King
Hozfin and Warze, his second in command. The king’s home is about
five times the size of mine but with everyone in here, it’s still a
tight squeeze.

“Fallon,” Sampson peeks over the others. At
my name, all conversation stops and the Rogues along with everyone
else in the king’s home looks at me, surprise and relief in their
eyes. “There you are. Would you mind joining us up here?”

I head for the back where Hozfin sits in his
carved throne, surrounded by the six Dofinikes and Warze. Reid is
right behind me, keeping a firm grasp on my hand as we weave
through the waving Rogues, all saying my name and smiling as we
pass. I wave back, moving for the far end of the cramped space.
Walker heads for Hozfin’s right and leans against the wall with his
arms crossed.

“How’re you feeling, kid?” Clarence grins.
“That Vilbrees working for you?”