Diva Diaries (12 page)
Authors: Janine A. Morris
18
Storytelling
I
t was 7:15 P.M., and Dakota was just leaving her office, heading out to Queens to go see Chrasey. There was traffic on the Grand Central Parkway, and Dakota was starting to regret that she had decided to take this trip. She had a million things to do at home, her own man problems, and a house guest she liked to be home to monitor. At this point, though, it didn't make sense to go back. She was already halfway there, and Chrasey did ask her to come over because she needed a friend. What type of friend would she be if she changed her mind? Besides, Dakota did want to get all the juicy details from Chrasey's night at Trevor's house. So, she sat eight exits away, waiting for traffic to break.
t was 7:15 P.M., and Dakota was just leaving her office, heading out to Queens to go see Chrasey. There was traffic on the Grand Central Parkway, and Dakota was starting to regret that she had decided to take this trip. She had a million things to do at home, her own man problems, and a house guest she liked to be home to monitor. At this point, though, it didn't make sense to go back. She was already halfway there, and Chrasey did ask her to come over because she needed a friend. What type of friend would she be if she changed her mind? Besides, Dakota did want to get all the juicy details from Chrasey's night at Trevor's house. So, she sat eight exits away, waiting for traffic to break.
Once she reached the 188th Street exit, she drove straight down to Hillside Avenue. She made her right toward Chrasey's when she noticed a couple standing at a bus stop arguing. The guy looked like he was being such a prick toward the femaleâyou could tell just from their body language. The girl was crying and looked like she was pleading for him to do something or other. As Dakota passed by the pathetic scene, she thought to herself,
why are we females always the ones asking for something
?
Why are we always the ones crying
?
We give so much of ourselves, but we have to almost literally beg to get just a little bit back in return.
why are we females always the ones asking for something
?
Why are we always the ones crying
?
We give so much of ourselves, but we have to almost literally beg to get just a little bit back in return.
As Dakota was making her right and left turns to get closer to Chrasey's house, she thought about this female stereotype. This was one of the reasons Dakota believed in multiple partners, because just one man isn't enough to keep you happy. Men are barely trying to keep you happy. They want you to be content with what they give you, and they always feel like you should appreciate whatever you get. Not Dakotaâshe was convinced that where one man was slacking, another would pick it up. There wouldn't be no crying at bus stops for her. If home boy was handling his business, he shouldn't have her at the bus stop to begin withâthey should be in a car. By the time Dakota had pulled up in front of Chrasey's house, she thought she understood where females went wrong in their relationships. Men go outside their relationships when they aren't happy, and women need to do the same thing. At least with us, they're usually really not doing their job; when men do it they are just being greedy. It's time women realize they deserve better. By the time the female Dr. Phil was exiting the car, she had focused on Chrasey's situation. Chrasey was a prime example of Dakota's philosophyâKeith did unto her and now she did unto Keith. She took her happiness into her own hands, because Keith wasn't handling his business. Dakota was proud of her girl.
The grass was cut and the front of the house looked neat and presentable. Keith was doing something rightâ at least he was still putting some TLC into his house and yard. Now all he had to do was put that same TLC
inside
his home. Dakota walked around to the side door and knocked. Chrasey had mentioned she would be starting dinner, so since this entrance was in the kitchen she was hoping she would get Chrasey's attention without disturbing Keith or the kids.
inside
his home. Dakota walked around to the side door and knocked. Chrasey had mentioned she would be starting dinner, so since this entrance was in the kitchen she was hoping she would get Chrasey's attention without disturbing Keith or the kids.
She was rightâafter a few seconds, Chrasey came to the door with a large spoon in her hand dripping with Jiffy batter.
“Hey, girl,” Chrasey said, clearly happy to see that Dakota made it.
“Hey, miss,” Dakota said as she stepped inside.
Chrasey just made a face, a “signal face,” as they called it. This signal was a “girl, you know who is in hearing distance” face. Dakota just smiled back, as if to say “I got you.” She sat down and picked up one of the magazines on the table. She tried to peek discreetly into the living room to see where Keith was, and she saw him sitting on the couch, on the phone. She instantly felt the tension in the air. This was a typical scene in their houseâKeith sitting in the living room talking on the telephone and Chrasey standing in the kitchen thawing out dinner. Their disconnection was visible, and Dakota could see it as wellâshe knew she was in the middle of an uncomfortable situation.
Dakota was happy that she had decided to come in through the side door, directly into the kitchen. She didn't have to walk through the living room and converse with Keith just yet, and have that ice-breaker conversation. He wasn't talking to Chrasey, so she knew he didn't want to talk to Chrasey's close friend. Dakota and Keith were coolâshe'd been the maid of honor in their wedding, and for all these years they'd had a friendly relationship, but Dakota still always tried to fly under his radar at times like these. So she chose not to say hello just yet. She just sat down at the kitchen table and kept looking through her magazine.
“Where are my godchildren?” Dakota asked.
“Upstairs, supposed to be doing their homework. Go say hi.”
“I'm not passing your pit bull in there on the couch, especially after you pissed him off this weekend.”
“He isn't going to say anything to you. He hasn't said two words to me all dayâit's like he knows or something,” Chrasey said in a low tone.
“You're just being paranoid. What did you tell him?”
“That I was with you guys.”
“Well, you were ... kinda. Look, maybe he will realize he can't just treat you like you ain't there. Let him think something.”
“Yeah, but I feel terrible.”
“Don't ... now, how was it?”
Not being able to help but smile, Chrasey and Dakota started laughing.
“Girl, maybe that's why I feel so bad, because I liked it so much.”
“What? He put it on you?”
After a slight hesitation, Chrasey blurted out, “Did he! That young stuff was rightâI tell ya.”
As they were both laughing hysterically, Keith walked in the kitchen, probably trying to be nosy.
After greeting Dakota, he asked Chrasey, “What are you making for dinner?”
“Fried chicken, rice, broccoli, and butter rolls.”
“Oh, OK. I'm going upstairsâlet me know when it's ready.”
When he walked out of the kitchen, they started to giggle again.
They sat at the kitchen table and continued talking. After Dakota got all of the juicy details, from how Chrasey and Trevor ended up in his bed to his various sex tricks, she assured Chrasey she wasn't wrong and Trevor was what she needed.
After about an hour or so, Dakota left to go home. The whole way home, she was anticipating calling Tony over to calm down her hormones.
19
Something New
I
t had been weeks, and Keith seemed more distant than usual. His neglect had been difficult for Chrasey the past few months, but having a new friend made it a little easier to deal with. Trevor was just somebody to keep her mind off all the painful thoughts caused by Keith. Keith's behavior had become more obvious. He would come home, change clothes, and hang in the living room all night, even sleep there a lot of nights. He would keep his cell phone in his pocket, and when he used it he would often speak in a low voice. Those were actually the good nights, because most nights he wouldn't even come straight home from workâhe would just call and say he wasn't coming home until later. Some of these nights, Chrasey would end up hanging out with Trevor to keep from crying herself to sleep at home alone. She would go somewhere to eat or just talk in the car with Trevor, and then she would have Trevor drop her off. She would get her car and go pick up her kids from their grandparents' house and take them home and put them in the bed. The sad part was some of these nights she would still cry herself to sleep, because she would still beat Keith home and she just felt deep down he was cheating, and even if he wasn't, he definitely wasn't interested in her. Other nights she would feel just fine, because she knew she, too, had someone else to keep her company.
t had been weeks, and Keith seemed more distant than usual. His neglect had been difficult for Chrasey the past few months, but having a new friend made it a little easier to deal with. Trevor was just somebody to keep her mind off all the painful thoughts caused by Keith. Keith's behavior had become more obvious. He would come home, change clothes, and hang in the living room all night, even sleep there a lot of nights. He would keep his cell phone in his pocket, and when he used it he would often speak in a low voice. Those were actually the good nights, because most nights he wouldn't even come straight home from workâhe would just call and say he wasn't coming home until later. Some of these nights, Chrasey would end up hanging out with Trevor to keep from crying herself to sleep at home alone. She would go somewhere to eat or just talk in the car with Trevor, and then she would have Trevor drop her off. She would get her car and go pick up her kids from their grandparents' house and take them home and put them in the bed. The sad part was some of these nights she would still cry herself to sleep, because she would still beat Keith home and she just felt deep down he was cheating, and even if he wasn't, he definitely wasn't interested in her. Other nights she would feel just fine, because she knew she, too, had someone else to keep her company.
Trevor was supposed to help Chrasey, but he didn't fill the void completely. He didn't erase the pain. There were days that Chrasey would call Keith at work and he wouldn't be there when he should have been. It was like he was leaving blatant clues that he was up to no good, but it was like he knew she had no proof and couldn't just flat-out accuse him. There were a few occasions when she would make comments or ask questions, but he would just brush it off. He would try to make her feel insecure and convince her she was nagging. Eventually it would work, or she would start to feel her own guilt. She didn't know if it was just mind games or a great cover-up for his dirt. Either way, he was spending his mystery time somewhere, and he was on his cell phone with somebody and she wanted to know who.
She hadn't slept with Trevor since that first timeâshe had explained to him about a week later that she felt guilty about sleeping with him and just wanted to be friends. He was very respectful. He believed Keith's behavior meant he was cheating, but he tried not to take advantage of her vulnerability. He would suggest another night of intimacy here and there, but he was giving Chrasey time. They ended up getting together maybe once every two weeks at minimum. Other times, Keith was coming home, Trevor was busy, or neither Chrasey nor Keith's parents could watch the kids; so her time with Trevor was short compared to Keith's time with whoever he was with.
She didn't know what to do. She didn't know if she should just stop seeing Trevor and focus on fixing her marriage or continue coping with their dysfunction in her own way. She knew what she was doing was no better than what he was doing, even though she wasn't still sexually active with Trevor. Then there was her fear that she was wrong, that he wasn't being unfaithful and she was the one sinning and ruining their relationship. If that was the case, Keith was still a lousy husband and didn't seem to care either way. She didn't know what would hurt her more, knowing it was another woman or that he just didn't care about her. He barely spoke to her, he wouldn't eat what she cooked most nights, he never held her in bed, and she couldn't remember the last time he said “I love you.” He would barely have sex with her, and when he did, it was obviously out of convenience. It was like he was disgusted by her. She thought it may have been her weight gain, but she wasn't sure because he would always deny being displeased by it. Those were his words, but he made her feel repulsive sometimes, and she was clueless as to what he was thinking anymore.
20
Jordan's Jayon
“
H
e says the craziest things sometimes,” Jordan said to Jackie, sharing with her a story about Jason.
H
e says the craziest things sometimes,” Jordan said to Jackie, sharing with her a story about Jason.
“I know, kids today are absolutely too grown,” she responded. “My niece be talking to me like she is 20 years oldâshe bugs me out with some of the things she says.”
“I know, she and Jason need to hang out.”
They were talking for a few more minutes when the elevator doors opened on their floor. Jayon stepped off, and he was with a young lady, engaging in conversation with her. Jordan and Jackie slowed their conversation and watched as they came closer.
“Hey, ladies,” he said.
“Hey there, Jay,” Jordan said, and Jackie said something similar.
“Jordan and Jackie, this is Michelle.”
“Hi, Michelle,” Jordan and Jackie replied.
Jordan looked at Jayon, hoping that he would have more information than that, but he just subtly changed the topic.
“What are you two over here gossiping about?”
“Just kids, and how crazy they are,” Jackie replied, seeing clearly that Jordan was focused on something much more important.
How dare he bring some woman in our workplace and not tell me who she is. We are supposed to be best friends, for crying out loud, and I've never heard of any Michelle
, Jordan was thinking to herself.
, Jordan was thinking to herself.
He didn't introduce her as a client, and it was clear she wasn't one.
He's trying to be slick by not giving titles
. Jordan wanted to show her ass and ask who she was, but she didn't want to play herself. That's something she would have done with the quickness back in college; now that they were adults, she needed to handle this professionally.
He's trying to be slick by not giving titles
. Jordan wanted to show her ass and ask who she was, but she didn't want to play herself. That's something she would have done with the quickness back in college; now that they were adults, she needed to handle this professionally.
Completely disregarding the children comment, she said, “What brings you two through here?”
“I just had to grab some stuff from my officeâwe will be right on our way,” Jayon said.
“On your way where?”
Jayon knew exactly what was on her mind and what she was trying to do, and Michelle was smart enough to stay out of the line of fire.
“Going to eat at the Olive Garden down on Thirty-fourth. Want me to bring you something back?”
She had considered going all the way with this, but Jackie and Michelle would think that she was crazy, so she just said, “Oh, that's nice. Bring me back some fettucine alfredo.”
“Not a problem,” Jay said, giving her that look telling her that he was reading her every thought.
Jordan hoped he was able to read,
I'm going to kick your behind when no one's around, too. Have your little fun now, but when I get the chance it's going to be on and popping.
I'm going to kick your behind when no one's around, too. Have your little fun now, but when I get the chance it's going to be on and popping.
Jordan didn't know why she was so protective over Jay. He was just her friend and she was a very married woman, but she had just always been possessive over him. In a caring way, but it still sometimes was strange. She couldn't even explain it, because she knew that he was free to do what he wanted and she was married and had no intention of being with him. Part of it was out of concernâshe didn't want any woman to come into his life and hurt him. Another part of it was just the principleâas his female best friend, she was supposed to be privy to all the details of his life, especially his love life, so when she was missing a detail she became very unpleasant. He knew this, and from time to time he would do things to purposely bother her. Like this, for instanceâbringing this woman to their job without her having a clue who she was. Damn, she was tempted to pull him to the side, but she decided to grow the hell up and interrogate him later.
After he walked back out, with Michelle in tow, Jackie said to Jordan, “Mmm, who is that, his new girlfriend?”
Not even wanting to admit it, she replied, “I have no idea, so it better not be.”
Jackie laughedâshe had been around long enough to know Jordan and Jayon's madness. She thought they were the cutest thing, the way their friendship was so special, and they fought like brother and sister sometimes. Jackie had said that she and her guy friend had nothing on them, and she tried to get him to be as cooperative as Jayon was to her madness. If she only knewâJordan and Jayon had their drama, too.
Jordan spent the next few hours working on a recording contract for Ozfather, this new rapper out of the Bronx. He just got signed to Atlantic Records and she had to get his contract up to par by the end of the week. She sipped on pineapple juice and snacked on cashews while she looked over and marked up the draft she received from the record label. Jackie came in and out with different calls on her line, and she told her repeatedly to just take a message. She wanted to get this contract doneâthis guy had done a lot of work to get his deal, and she didn't want to hold him up any longer than necessary.
Then Jackie walked in and said, “Jayon is back ... by himself.”
She loved that Jackieâhow did she know that in the back of her mind, while she was diligently working on that contract, she was anticipating the moment Jay stepped back in the office so she could get his butt for his little uninformative conversation earlier?
“Thanks,” Jordan said as she got up from her desk and walked out of the office behind her and down the hall to Jayon's office. He was just signing on to his computer when she walked in.
“Hello there, mister funny man,” she said.
He looked up at her and started to laugh. “Hey, nosy.”
“Nosy? Oh, I'm nosy now. What happened to
concerned
?”
concerned
?”
“Yeah, OK. Concerned about what ... my business and ... ?”
“Knock off the bullshit, Jay. Who is Michelle?”
“My friendâwhy?”
“Why? How dare you ask me why?” She felt herself getting upset.
“I'm just saying you ran in here like I did something wrong, and you were rude to her like I was cheating on you with her.”
“Jay, don't play stupid with me. You know what I want to know and why, so just get to it so I can go.”
“I know what you want to know, but I don't know why,” he said.
“You knowâforget it,” she said as she went to walk out. Jordan wasn't in the mood for him to make her feel like she cared too much. Maybe she did, but they had been down this road so many times she hated when he felt the need to suddenly try to figure it out.
“She is just my friend from grad school,” he said as she was walking out.
Jordan stopped in her tracks and turned back around.
“And you guys have been friends all this time or you just got reacquainted?”
“We have been cool since then. We used to have a lot of the same classesâwe became very cool and we kept in touch since school.”
“You two ever did anything?”
“Why?” he asked.
“Jay, don't make me take my shoe off and throw it at you.”
“No, we didn't.”
“Why haven't I ever heard of her before today if you go back like that?” she asked.
“I don't knowâI don't talk about her much, we ain't cool like that. Nothing like me and you are, we are just cool.”
“So why were you hanging with her today?”
Clearly becoming tired of her curiosity, he still cooperated with the questioning. “There was an accounting seminar one of my professors was having, and we both attended and decided to grab some lunch after.”
Jordan wasn't one hundred percent pleased with what she had heard, but it did ease her curiosity some.
“OK,” she said, “but you know the rulesâno female is allowed into your life that I don't know about. Don't mess up again.”
“That's
your
rule,” he said.
your
rule,” he said.
“You made that rule up.”
“Yeah, to satisfy your crazy questions,” he replied.
“Whatever the reason, don't catch a beat down in here,” she said.
“Can I step off the witness stand now, counselor?”
“Ha, ha, ha,” she said as she walked out of the office.
Jordan never quite knew why she cared so much about Jayon's escapades. It was like that since undergrad. Back then, though, she tried to be more discreet, and he didn't have as much tolerance. It was like she had a man, but yet still wanted full approval rights of his love life. He was her buddy, and she needed to make sure that any girl he was with was able to deal with her role in his life. Fortunately, he understood that, and he would tell them up front about Jordan and how their relationship was so that they wouldn't cause any problems. As they came, they went, and Jordan was still there before and after each saga so it became an understatement to make it clear that his chicks better respect her. Still, she hated the reality that in a way her concern for Jayon was inappropriate in her marriage. It was what Omar hated about Jordan and him. Still, it had to be understood that just as she was there with Jay when his girlfriends came and went, he was there with her when Omar came and went. When they would fight and he would pull a disappearing act, it was Jay who kept her strong. Jordan understood why Omar had a slight problem with itâshe probably couldn't handle it for a week, let alone thirteen years. Still, he had to understand he had nothing to worry aboutâJay could only be a threat if Omar and she weren't together, just like any other man would be at that point. Even then, Jayon wouldn't be an option because the last thing they would want to do is ruin their friendship.
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