Diva Wraps It Up, The (10 page)

Dear Natasha,

You are always on the cutting edge with clever, fresh ideas. I love Christmas lights, but I’m tired of the same old thing. All the houses look alike. Help!

Christmas Elf in Joy, Illinois

Dear Christmas Elf,

Use rope lights to write a holiday message on your house. Naughty or Nice come to mind!

Natasha

Liza ran out the door with the rest of us trailing behind her. For someone who disliked gyms, she could move pretty fast in an emergency. She yelled, “Luis! Luis!” as she sped across the street.

We piled into Liza’s living room. Three emergency medical technicians surrounded Luis. One was checking his blood pressure.

Luis perched on the edge of a leather sofa, holding up his hands as if he wanted everyone to go away. “I’m okay,” he insisted. But he spoke in a weak voice and rubbed his chest.

“What happened?” demanded Liza. “You better not be having a heart attack! It’s the job, isn’t it? The new job. I knew it was a mistake.”

Baxter looked on over Liza’s shoulder. “He got shocked putting up Christmas lights.”

“What?” Liza placed her palms on the sides of her face, her long sparkling white nails jutting out well beyond her fingertips. “The lights? Who gets shocked by those flimsy lights? You scared me half to death.” She gazed at an EMT. “How bad could it be? Those lights barely carry any electricity in them.”

“You’d be surprised how often this happens, ma’am,” he responded. “People think that they’re not dangerous, but they can pack a punch.”

Baxter gazed over at us. His eyes widened, and he looked as though
he’d
had a shock when he saw his ex-wife, Patty. He did a double take. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see my children.” Patty crossed her arms over her chest defiantly and lifted her chin.

“Where are the lights?” asked Liza. “I’m throwing them out right now.”

“No, no, no.” Luis hadn’t moved, except for the hands that scratched his chest.

Liza narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “If you’re not having a heart attack, how come you keep massaging your chest?”

“It itches.” Luis unbuttoned the top of his shirt.

“Good grief!” Liza pushed aside the medical technician. “What did you have for dinner?”

“Oh, Liza. Don’t start.” Luis sounded tired.

“I’ll get it out of you. You might as well tell me now.”

“Looks like an allergy?” asked the medical technician.

“He’s allergic to soy.” Liza shook her finger at him. “It’s in everything now. Even in salad dressings! Who would suspect that?”

Baxter asked, “Where’s the fuse box? After I make sure there’s no juice, I’ll climb up there and take those lights down.” He pointed at Patty. “And then you and I will have to talk.”

“No!” Luis started to stand but fell back onto the sofa. “Still a little dizzy.”

“It’s all right, Luis. I’ll just remove the lights that caused the problem, okay?” said Baxter. “Where are the breakers in this house?”

Liza led the way, and I followed them but stopped in the kitchen to stuff ice cubes into a plastic bag.

In a hallway off the kitchen, Baxter said, “Hah! Look at this. It threw the switch. Don’t worry, Liza, we’ll get you straightened out.”

I returned to the living room and handed Luis the ice. “This might make you feel better.”

He held it to his forehead. “Thanks, everyone. I’m not going to the emergency room. I’ll be fine. Really.”

The glint in Liza’s eyes suggested she didn’t agree. “You’re such a stubborn old goat. It’s a good thing you’re gorgeous or I would have left you years ago.”

A glimmer of a smile crossed Luis’s lips. “Really,” he said to the EMTs, “you guys go on and help someone who needs it.”

Liza pulled one of them aside. “Is he going to be okay? Should I drag him to the hospital?”

“It’s always wise to get checked out. His vital signs are normal, though.”

The EMTs were packing up when Baxter returned. “I’ve switched the breaker back on.” Baxter held a string of Christmas lights in his hand. “Guess this was the culprit. There’s a long spot where the coating over the cord is missing.”

One of the EMTs asked, “Were the lights on something metallic?”

Baxter seemed surprised. “How did you know?”

The EMT nodded his head. “We see it every Christmas. Faulty lights can charge a metallic object. It’s usually a metallic tree, but it could be anything.”

“Who knew?” asked Baxter. “I’d better tell Elvin. He’s been stringing lights on things for as long as I can remember, and I bet he never knew that. I think he even dressed up in them once as a gag. Luis had these wrapped around a real fancy metal railing up on the roof.”

“Sounds like the widow’s walk,” the EMT clarified.

Liza clasped her hand to her bosom. “Widow? I don’t want you up there again, Luis.”

“Liza, calm down.” Luis sounded tired.

“Maybe we should go,” I said, motioning to Nina and Patty.

Nina reached for Liza’s arm. “I’m right next door. Call if you need anything.”

We walked outside and clustered in the cold as we watched the ambulance drive away.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” asked Baxter.

“It was a last-minute thing.” Patty sounded defensive. “Could I please visit with my children now?”

“Well, sure. I don’t see why not.”

Patty flashed a look of surprise my way and grinned. She walked next door with her ex-husband. Nina and I scurried across the street to my house and finished our dinner.

“Is it just me, or has this been a very strange few days?” asked Nina.

“I was just thinking the same thing. Too many odd accidents seem to be happening.”

“It’s this crazy Christmas decorating contest that has people scrambling around on rooftops. I’m glad I’ve hired someone to do my decorating. I don’t think I’ll ever look at a strand of Christmas lights quite the same way again.” Nina slid on her coat and picked up her shopping bag loaded with cookies. “Liza forgot her cookies.”

“I’ll bring them over to her tomorrow. I’m sure cookies are the last thing on her mind right now.”

“Don’t forget, lunch with Liza at The Laughing Hound tomorrow.”

“Assuming she’s still up for it,” I said.

Nina hustled home, and I turned my attention to Mochie, who waited patiently next to his empty food dish.

“Turkey or tuna?” I asked.

He stared at me like he thought I should know the answer without having to ask. I went with tuna. Apparently, I was right. He dug in immediately.

I took homemade chicken broth out of the freezer to let it thaw in a pot for a hearty chicken stew so Patty would have something to eat the next day.

In the meantime, I was itching to decorate my sunroom. Years of worry about the heat drying out a live tree in that location had prompted me to capitulate and buy an artificial tree for the sunroom. It was one of the first joys of Christmas each year to decorate it with a garden and animal motif.

I couldn’t help thinking of Luis when I plugged in the tree. White lights glowed, reflecting in the wall of windows that looked out over my backyard. I climbed a ladder to attach the topper, a white dove of peace my niece had made for me.

To reach the top, I had to go past the rung marked “do not stand above this point” and lean a bit. Probably not the smartest thing to do. I could see how easy it would be to fall. Happily, I didn’t. But I climbed down with great care. And then I examined the rungs. They were metallic. What would happen if I held a string of lights while on the metallic ladder? How many times had I unwittingly wrapped lights on metal railings?

I opened a large red box, weathered with age, that held the ornaments for the tree in the sunroom. Garlands of red berries lay on top. I pulled them out and lay them across branches, circling the tree. After that, the very best part – revisiting memories with each ornament. The cute ladybug, the blown-glass squirrel and chipmunk. The funny bird with a long feather for a tail and the kitten that looked just like Mochie. Santa had left glitzy butterflies, light as air, in my stocking last year. They sat on top of branches where other ornaments would have been too heavy. I chuckled aloud when I found the two gray mice with Christmas ribbons tied on their tails.

It didn’t take long to finish the tree. Mars and I had hung a wreath on the door the day before. A classic red amaryllis sat on the coffee table next to a roughly cast angel meant to be outdoors in a garden. The battery-operated candle inside a red lantern with a heart motif had already turned itself on.

I retrieved tan and red pillows that bore images of bright red cardinals and holly berries. With only the tree and the candle glowing in the night, I plumped up the cushions and placed them on the love seat and the chair.

Pleased with the results, I returned to the kitchen to slice leftover chicken breast into bite-sized pieces for the stew. I added cooked egg noodles and sunny yellow corn to the pot and tasted it. A sprinkle of salt and a good pinch of black pepper were all it needed.

Patty returned around ten.

“Could I offer you a snack or cookies?”

“No thanks. Baxter ordered takeout, and we noshed on cookies. They were all on display on the dining room table. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m about cookied out.”

She chuckled. “It was pretty funny. Baxter was worried about us eating them without permission from Gwen. Can you imagine? Gwen hides goodies from Baxter and the kids because she knows they’ll devour them. Apparently, she’s crazy for peanut brittle. She made it to give as gifts, but the whole family chowed through it, so she had to make another batch. This time she hid it, but the kids found her secret stash. They gobbled it up, but then they had this empty orange box. I would have just thrown it away and pretended I knew nothing about it. Luckily, Bradley found a pink box with Liza and Luis’s name on it hidden way back in the pantry behind the pasta. So they used the candy meant for Luis and Liza to replenish Gwen’s secret stash in the orange box and then they put the boxes back where they found them!” She laughed until tears rolled down her face. “Oh gosh! Now Gwen is going to give her neighbors a gift that looks like most of it has already been eaten! Who will be more surprised when the gift box is opened and it’s almost empty? Gwen or Liza and Luis?” Patty roared with laughter and dabbed at her eyes.

“Where was Gwen during all this?”

“She refused to come downstairs and join us. How rude is that? She must hate me more than I dislike her, and that’s a lot. Acting like a child is bad enough, but she’s setting such a poor example for the children. Doesn’t she realize they need to learn to accept people and be polite to them?”

“That’s a shame. Would you like a drink? A glass of wine? How about a Cranberry Jingle? I’m in the mood for one.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

I pulled two tall glasses out of the cabinet. “At least you spent some time with your children.”

“I did! That part was wonderful.” She smiled wistfully. “They’re growing up so fast. I hate that I’ve missed so much of their lives.” Tears ran down her cheeks again, and she buried her head in her hands. “How did it ever come to this? How could they have been taken from me by that evil woman? Gwen robbed me. I didn’t do anything wrong. I was a good mother!”

I handed her a tissue and patted her shoulder.

She blew her nose. “Just yesterday Bethany was playing with dolls and Bradley wanted a bike for his birthday. Now she’s talking about boys and college, and he wants a
car
!” She broke into sobs again.

I hurried to the counter, scooped ice into the glasses, poured in vodka for a kick and peach schnapps for sweetness, and topped it off with cranberry juice. I brought them to the table with red napkins and a platter of cookies from the swap. I was going to eat one of the Scotcheroos, whether she wanted one or not.

“Have you considered moving here?” I asked.

Patty wiped her nose and gripped her glass. “I’m not trained for anything. How would I live?” She took a long swig of her drink. “But I have to do something. I can’t go on this way. For their sakes, I have to be here for them.”

“I hope you can work something out.”

“Gwen has been a thorn in my side for years.” Patty inhaled deeply. “The air there tonight was so thick and uncomfortable. Everyone was on edge. I bet they were all afraid that Gwen would make a scene. I anticipate that she’ll object to anything I want.”

“She can’t prevent you from moving here.”

“No. But she can sure keep me from seeing the kids.”

“Aren’t they too big for that? I would think it’s easy with small children, but your kids are old enough to make excuses and go to your house. Gwen would never be the wiser.”

“I’m pulling Bethany out of school for a half day tomorrow. We’re going to her favorite mall for lunch and window-shopping. And I’m picking up Bradley in the afternoon. I hope Gwen won’t call the school and tell them not to release the kids to me.”

Patty finished her drink. “I want to thank you again for putting me up. And for putting up with me!” She laughed at her own little twist on the words. “You’re very kind to listen to my troubles.”

“I wish I could help in some way. I have a date scheduled with a lawyer at the annual bar association dinner dance. Maybe he can introduce me to someone who could take your case.”

She stood up and stretched. “If only I had the money to pay a lawyer. Good-night, Sophie. And thanks again.”

As I made sure the fire was out and the doors were locked, Edith Scroggins suddenly came to mind. I hoped she was safe and had locked up her house. It was too late to call her. She was probably fine. At least I hoped so.

I headed up the stairs. A light shone underneath the door to my guest room. After the long drive and the emotional reunion with her daughter and son, Patty had to be exhausted.

Mochie and I hit the sack, too. From the warmth of my bed, I could see the candle glowing in the window, and I drifted off.