Divergent Parody: Avirgent (7 page)

 He took another sip of his milk while Christine and I shared a look. He put it down.

“Anyway, as I was saying, this guy doesn't care about the law. If he did, he'd report Limp right away. He'll just write off Max's death like he jumped through that glass on his own. Even though that's not possible, stranger things have happened my friends.”

 Christine tilted her head. “Like what?”

 “Like my friend Joey Two-Tone. They called him two-tone because his shoes would be a different tone after a hit. One black, and one red. Same with his victims. Nevermind that though. One time, he ran this bus company and told the driver for this private school-girl route to play pop-music over the radio. You know, to make those little girls happy. So he does this, and one day the driver gets off at the wrong stop, in the middle of this rival neighborhood that's been gunning for Joey for years. Now this guy is shaking in his boots, and crapping his pants when one of these wiseguys comes up to him with a gun. But instead of threatening him about Joey, you know what he says?”

 “What?” said Christine, leaning in, clearly interested.

“Wiseguy holds up the gun and says, 'Take that pop-shit off. Next time you drive around here, it better be the intro to Pokemon. We love Pokemon around these parts. Kids go crazy over those Pokemon cards.'”

Christine chuckled just a little bit. “What the fu-”

“Exactly. And if that's not enough, when the bus driver nods, the wiseguy says, 'By the way pal, were you a fan of Miley Cyrus back in the day?

Party in the USA was the shit bro!”

Christine exploded in laughter, and I didn't get it.

Al said to me, “Think about it, it's this tough as balls looking gangster holding up a gun, and he's seriously getting red in the face like a school girl over Miley Cyrus.”

“Oh!” I fake chuckled and Christine alerted me to stop. I did. I guess I'm somewhat of her bitch now in a way.

 Al settled down and finished off his milk. “Anyway, he's a total douche. If he let our Limp friend over there break Max in two, he won't bat an eye at Limp having an accident.”

 Christine shook her head. “It's intriguing, I will agree. It'll give all of us a chance, but I'm not sure. There's also those cameras in the room you need to think about.”

 Al smirked. “Who says it'll happen in our room? We find a quiet place with no cameras, and do it there. All one of you two need to do is work your charm and lead him like a rabbit to a carrot.” He pointed at Hailey's carrot, making her giggle.

“That's all. We can work it out later, I just need to know if you're both in?”

He looked at both of us, like a mother asking her daughter if she wants to go shopping with her, and expects her daughter to say yes.

I nodded. “Yes.”

 Christine agreed. “Okay. I think the best one for this job is Mika.” She turned to me. “What do you think tumbleweed? You'll probably have to let him feel you up a bit.”

I grimaced. “Feel me up? I just have to lead him.”

 Al chuckled. “You can't just do that with a guy. You have be a little sensual with us. Rub his face, his legs, anywhere but his prick, you know? That gets him all worked up, and hot. You lead him to where we are, and then-boom!” He punched his hand. “They'll be calling him the human fountain after we're through with him.”

 I didn't know what to think. I never beat someone up before. Or-

“Wait, just to make sure, we're beating him up right? Nothing permanent?”

Christine nodded but Al didn't give us an assurance. He just said, “Ehhh...” and tilted his head and hands back and forth.

 “Right?” I asked him in a low tone.

He said, “We'll see. If you ask me, he's better off taking the big sleep as my friend Joey Two-Tone would say.”

“But that's wrong.” I said, in a low shaking tone. “We can't...” I shut my mouth, my mind shut as well. I got the shakes as Christine would say.

Al shook another carton of milk and opened it up. “Listen, I think even your friend Christine here would agree.”

Christine didn't respond. She folded her arms, listening as Al took a sip and put the carton back down.

 “Look at it this way, Limp is like a rabid dog. This guy is just doing whatever the Hell he wants. If we beat him up to the point where he is out, believe me...and this happens
all the time
where I'm from. You beat him up, he goes to the hospital, this big jacked up stronzo comes back and doesn't just beat you bloody, he leaves you
dead
. Now, I plan on making this quick, and
very
painful, but also so that he never sees us.” He points to me.

 “But this bloodsucker
will
see you. And it doesn't matter if you win or lose, he will find you, rape you,
then
ask you where we are. When you say you don't know...he'll rape you again, and then he'll ask you one more time before he rapes you a third time and then puts you underneath with the fishes. Oh God, I'm sorry, I hate using the 'fish' cliché but it just came to mind. Ha!” He patted Hailey on the back as I thought of Limp...doing those terrible things to me. I felt a pit in my stomach.

 Christine nudged me. “Don't worry about it tumbleweed. He makes a good point. It's something we'll have to do. That guy is nuts. He killed someone, we'll deliver him his just desserts. A psycho like that who doesn't care about human life deserves to be put down like the dog he is. I mean, you can say we're not the ones who should decide that, but I say screw that. He killed once, and he'll do it again.”

 I nodded. “Okay. I'll do it. When?”

Al tapped the table. “As soon as Hailey finds a nice spot that's camera free. She's good at that mission impossible shit.”

Hailey crunched the last bit of her carrot and smiled. “I love dark and tight places. It reminds me of my vagina.”

 Christine let out a groan and put her collard greens down. “Yeah, I think I'm done eating for today.”

I looked down at my plate with only five peas on it. Even I started to feel sick.

“Yeah, me too.”

 Al leaned in. “Alright, it's settled. Once Hailey finds the space, we'll move into our plan. Now, I have another concern. It's about TB4. Christine, I think you're right. He's hiding something more from us, but I don't think it's a matter of people protecting themselves or us. It's about them watching one sole person.”

My heart sank. Did he know about Avirgents?

Christine batted a brow. “What?”

“Avirgent,” said Al, confidently. My heart sank lower.

“Please, Avirgent is as real as bigfoot. There's been no such case,” said Christine.

Al shook his head. “Then explain the cameras. This city doesn't go into extreme measures like that, except when someone is a risk to national-or in our case, regional security. Someone here is Avirgent.” He looked between us two. “It could be you, and it could be Mika. It could be one of Limp's old crew over there, or Limp himself. You ask me, it's probably him.”

Christine nodded. “That's an
if
a big
if
.
If
, he is one, it'd make the most sense. I can imagine him being a hybrid of Rambunctious and Tricker. Like breeding a lion and a wolf together.”

 Al nodded, smirking. “Yeah, or a sadist and your friendly neighborhood psychopath. Either way, he's most likely the one. Of course, there's even rumors that Avirgents don't show any of the signs at all. Sometimes they could be the people you least...”

His words came in one ear and out of the other.

 I felt like I were watching him in slow motion speak to me and Christine as he explained what he knew about Avirgents. I felt like I was listening in on a doctor talking to my Mom about me. Or my parents discussing my behavior. I felt like a fly on the wall, the outside looking in...things like that.

 “...so yeah, either way, they're pretty freakin' dangerous.
One
, just
one
Avirgent getting a high position of power in a faction, can mean the end of our society and the start of their own.”

Christine shrugged. “Maybe that's a good thing. They could put this little experiment of Jeanine's to rest. This faction stuff all feels like some sick science project made by some spoiled rich kid.”

 “She looks like that actress from a century ago. You know, Kate Winslet,” said Hailey.

Al laughed. “You know, I never thought of that. She kind of does.”

He put his hands together as I twirled my hair around. “Well Christine, it could be a good thing, and a bad one. The one Avirgent who usurps Jeanine's throne, could be
worse
than her. If you ask me, that's not a risk I'm willing to take. If Limp is the Avirgent, at least we won't have to worry about him. God, just imagine the world we'd live in with
him
in charge?”

Christine chuckled. “It'd be like Nazi Germany. Except he'd probably commit genocide on the men and keep the women alive as sex slaves.”

 “Nah, that's something TB4 would do. I could imagine Limp torturing people for his own amusement. He looks like that type of sick freak.” Al finished his second carton of milk and smashed it down. “That's what I'd do to an Avirgent if I knew one.” He sighed and looked at both of us and chuckled. “But of course, I doubt any of you are. Limp, definitely and it's as my friend Joey Two-Tone would say in his most stereotypical gangster voice possible: 'We gonna whack him, and he gon' be sleepin with the fishes.' Heh, heh.”

Al continued to laugh and held his arm around Hailey's waist. Christine went to throw out her lunch, and I looked at her do so, imagining myself as the trash.

 Would Al kill me if he found out I was Avirgent? I didn't want to know, and never wanted to find out.

 So I just went back to worrying about what I did when I was home, my weight, my health, boys...boys...oh God, TB4 is too hot. I don't think I can control myself around him. I don't care what he did or is involved in. I just want him dammit.

 ---

“I love it  when a plan comes together,” said Al, checking out the camera free zone Hailey found for us. It was a hallway on the opposite side of the entrance doors.

Al walked around, careful not to get caught by the camera on the other side of the room.

“I love this, I love this Hailey you little sneak.”

“I don't know,” said Christine. “Aren't they going to ask Mika what happened to Limp? Wouldn't she be the last one to see him? And what about us Al? Won't the cameras see us sneaking into the room anyway, blindspot or not?”

Al put up a hand. “Yeah, they'll see us coming, but they won't know it's us. I got some ski-masks.  And besides, once you're in the blindspot, it doesn't matter what happened. Mika can come out walking away as if nothing happened and Big Brother over there can't prove
shit
, 'cause it wasn't seen on camera.

 My boy Joey Two-tone was able to dodge a life sentence  over a blindspot. He and his hit, an informant...you know? A rat. He and this guy were leaving a restaurant together and walked into a dark alley away from the camera. That's when Joey whacked him. Joey walked back into the camera, and went home. The other guy didn't follow him. Joey's lawyer made this big scene in court, saying that anything could have happened. That, the rat could have been smoking in the alley and was whacked by someone else.”

 Christine nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, at least more sense than our society. It speaks volumes of our justice system too.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

He patted Hailey on the back. “Good job sis.”

“Oh, anytime Al!” She giggled and walked back to the hallway entrance to our living quarters. Al walked over to me. “So tumbleweed-”

“Catchphrase infringement,” snapped Christine.”

Al sighed. “Okay, okay. Um, sweety? Okay, sweety. Mika, are you ready? Because I want this to go down
tonight!
” He checked his watch. “It's 3:00 P.M now. They make us take a sleep at 8:00. TB4 should be finished looking at his porn by an hour or two later. So in the night, you wake up, get Limp a little excited and...you know the rest?”

I nodded. “Yes. Just...please don't be late. I don't want him putting his dirty fingers up my vagina.”

He chuckled. “Heh, it's not like you'd feel it anyway considering how wide you are down there! Ha!”

Christine put her head back and said, “You know that's not right. Hah.”

I shook my head. “Oh God, you're an asshole.”

 Al shrugged. “You think I'm one? You should see Joey Two-Tone. He'd have you, your Mom and even Christine within a three day period. He'd skip town and leave you with the child support yourself.  Of course, I have more of a conscience. So when we get to together...”

He patted my shoulder. He was handsome, but my heart,  and soul belonged to TB4. I didn't even know him, but I knew we were soul mates.

 “...I promise to take care of you? Good?”

I smirked. “Right.” I put my hair back. “So-”

“What are you three doing here?”

TB4 showed up along with the rest of the Initiates, and Limp Ussy stood behind him like an ominous shadow.  We jumped at his image.

Al composed himself quick and said, “Um-um-um, enjoying the fresh air sir.”

“We're in-doors,” said TB4, putting his arms together, clutching a shirt. He put the blue shirt on with disdain and frowned. “But I get what you mean. Come on, I have some shit to do in the district.

Since I can't leave you all alone, I figure, why not get your first tattoos done? I could kill two birds with a stone this way.”

 He walked in front of us, leading the pack and to the doors. “Tattoos?” I asked.

He turned. “Yeah, Mika. Tattoos. You know, permanent marks on your skin.”

“How come
you
don't have one?” I said, with a slight smirk. I really wanted to make sure he knew I was flirting with him. That way, we can at least have some rapport before we sleep together.

He smiled and his dimples were like huge wide holes in his cheeks. Soooo cuuuute.  

“I have my reasons.”

“That doesn't make sense,” said Christine, screwing up my flirt yet again. “How the Hell don't you have a tattoo? That's mandatory for all initiates.”