Divine by Choice (23 page)

“Ugh! Feeling sick again!” I said to the night.

Breathe, Beloved.
I noticed the voice in my head was stronger and clearer than it had been since I had been forced into this world.

“You sound like Clint,” I said aloud. The Goddess didn't answer, so I did as she instructed, inhaling the crisp, icy air deeply. Almost immediately my vertigo faded. It was disconcerting to realize that I was becoming not just experienced in the Magic Sleep of spirit travel, but comfortable with it.

I gazed around me, amazed at the change in the land below. It looked like a scene from a Colorado winter postcard. Dad's pastures had been transformed from the green of Oklahoma pin oaks and junipers, to the enchanting white of a snow-bathed wilderness.

“It's beautiful,” I whispered.

I looked back toward the barn. A warm light glowed from behind the shuttered windows and the snow piled in graceful, curving mounds around the base of the barn. Surprised, I noticed that the mounds actually came up several feet against the red and white of the barn's siding.

“There must be almost three feet of snow down there.”

It is not natural, Beloved.
The Goddess's voice rang in my mind.

“I know!” I spoke aloud to the listening night. “It never snows like this in Oklahoma.”

It is because what is unnatural has entered this world. True evil is at work here.

The Goddess's words drove crystallized shards of fear into my body.

“Nuada.” The name was a curse on my lips.

You must stop him.

“Me!” I yelped. “I don't know how to stop him!”

You must, Beloved. You are the only one who can.

“How? The only reason I was able to figure out what to do in Partholon was that I was surrounded by a world of people who understood magic. They helped me. And you helped me!”

You trust yourself so little, my Beloved one.
I was alarmed to hear the divine voice in my mind beginning to fade.
Rely on what is within.

“No! Don't go!” I felt panicky. “I don't know what to do!”

The ancient ones will guide you…as will the Shaman in this world…

“Epona!” I yelled the Goddess's name. “What ancient ones? What Shaman?”

Remember—
the voice was so faint I had to strain within to hear her last words
—You are the Chosen of a Goddess…

And, like mist, she was gone.

I
gulped in air and sat straight up.

“Shit!” I swung my feet around and almost leaped out of bed. “You'd think coming back to Oklahoma would be a normal experience. Oklahoma used to be entirely normal…mundane…boring even. Damn, I could use some good ol' fashioned Okie boredom,” I muttered at my dim reflection in the mirror above the dresser. Pawing through the top drawer, I snatched at a pair of old jeans, the homey sweatshirt, followed by a thick pair of workout socks. “But, no! Instead you're pregnant, scared, in the middle of a blizzard, being chased by some big-ass booger monster,” I kept talking to myself. “And starving.”

I shut up as I opened the door and tiptoed to the kitchen. Goddess knows I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, and all of a sudden scrambled eggs, toast and bacon sounded incredibly yummy. At least I knew my way around.

I felt through the drawer we called the gobble drawer—I knew it held a little bit of everything, which should include matches to light the oil lamp that always sat on the kitchen table.

“There you are,” I whispered as my hand closed around the familiar box shape.

“You could have saved yourself some trouble. I think your dad left matches over here by the lamp.” Clint's voice scared me so badly I almost peed my pants.

“Damnit, Clint! What the hell are you doing sitting out here in the dark?” Before he could answer, I struck the match. He was lifting a mug to his lips as the golden spark illuminated his face. “And why didn't you say something? You scared the shit out of me.”

“You looked like you were on some kind of mission. I thought I'd just sit here and stay out of your way.”

“Huh,” I grunted at him and lit the lamp, adjusting the wick so that the edges of the kitchen played in a trembling light. I turned my back on him and started pulling eggs and such out of the refrigerator. “Why are you awake?”

“Why are
you
awake?” he countered. “After what you've been through the last couple of days I would have thought you'd be due for a good long sleep.”

“I slept,” I evaded, searching through the cabinets for the right pots and pans.

“You had another one of those dream things?” His voice was gentle.

“Yes,” I said without turning.

“You saw ClanFintan again?”

“No.” I checked the gas flame and spread out plenty of bacon in the iron skillet. “This time I just floated around and had a brief conversation with Epona.” I glanced over my shoulder at him. “I'm making eggs and bacon for everyone. Don't tell me you're not hungry.”

“I would love for you to feed me.” His eyes met mine and their brightness hinted at a double meaning. I looked away quickly.

“What did your Goddess say?”

“Oh—” I flippantly cracked eggs into a bowl “—let's see—
evil is loose—Nuada must be stopped—the ancients will help—the Shaman will help—trust myself.” I whisked the eggs maniacally. “Only I usually prefer to avoid evil. I don't know how to stop Nuada. I don't know any ancients or a Shaman. And the one thing I do firmly trust about myself is that I am way out of my league here.” I realized I was fighting tears, which only pissed me off more. The morning sickness may have let up, but the hormones were certainly still in full swing. Wonderful.

Clint's hands closed over mine so that my psychotic whisking stilled. He rested his chin on the top of my head and pulled me back against him.

“I'm here. Your dad's here. Between the three of us we'll figure this thing out.” He guided the bowl back to the countertop and turned me around to face him. He put one hand on my shoulder; with the other he lifted my chin so that my eyes met his. “You are the Chosen of a Goddess. Don't forget that.”

“That's what Epona reminded me of, too.”

“Well, if you won't listen to the Goddess, will you listen to me?” His dark eyes smiled down at me. “After all, I am the mirror of your husband,” he said playfully, unknowingly mimicking ClanFintan's tone so accurately that I felt my heart leap in response.

“Yes, you are,” I whispered tremulously.

He read the yearning in my face, and his teasing instantly sobered. I was close enough to him to feel his breath catch, and the hand that he had placed on my shoulder tightened. Then the fingers that were resting under my chin moved, gently tracing the curve of my cheek down the side of my neck. They threaded their way around until he was lightly caressing the back of my neck. A chill of response fluttered through me.

“Shannon my girl,” he spoke the endearment in a hoarse whisper as he bent to touch his lips to mine. The kiss was fleeting and deceptively chaste. He pulled his head back so that he could look into my eyes.

“Let me kiss you, Shannon.”

“You just did.” My voice sounded breathless.

“That wasn't a kiss, love.” His half smile was full of promise. “Let me kiss you, Shannon,” he repeated softly.

I wanted him to kiss me. I needed his mouth against mine. His wonderfully familiar lips curled into a brief, full smile when I silently nodded my permission.

Then his arms were sliding around my body and I felt myself following old pathways as my hands crept up around his broad shoulders. Our bodies pressed together as our lips met. I could feel the restrained passion in the tautness of his body as he took his time tasting my mouth. I let my tongue meet his.

I have always loved the wonderful mixture of clean lines, muscular hardness and surprisingly smooth, soft places that blend together to form the body of a man. I ran one hand down his arm, delighting in the strength I felt there and marveling at the way I could make this strong man tremble just by taking his tongue within my mouth.

Exactly like ClanFintan. The dreamy thought was a fist in my stomach.

I pulled abruptly back and out of his arms. Shakily I ran a hand over my eyes and pushed my hair out of the way.

“I'm…” I faltered as both of us struggled to regain control over our breathing. “I'm sorry. I don't want…” But the words died in my mouth. “No, that's not true. I do want. I want your hands on me; I want your lips against mine. You are just so much like him I can't help but want that.” I looked at him beseechingly. “But I'm married. And not to you.”

“You're married in another world, Shannon, not in this one.”

“Would it matter to you?” I shot back at him. “If I belonged to you, would you mind me sleeping with
him
—be it in another world or not?”

His silence was all the answer I needed.

“I didn't think so. The facts don't change. Be it here or there, I'm still married to another man.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Shannon?” my dad's voice broke in.

Clint and I both jumped guiltily.

“Um…” I was having a hard time meeting his eyes. “Good morning, Dad.”

“You better turn that bacon,” he said as he walked over to the kitchen table and sat in a chair across from Clint. “And you can pour me some coffee, too.”

I did as he asked.

“Thanks, Bugs.” He sipped his coffee while I poured the scrambled eggs into the waiting skillet. When he spoke, his voice was thoughtful. “I can't say I understand or even really believe what you started to tell me last night. But I do know you well enough to know that
you
believe it. And you've never been a flighty girl, so there must be some truth to what you're saying. I'm willing to hear it with an open mind.” He sipped his coffee again and glanced at Clint. “But first I want to know who the hell you're married to, and why this man's here with you instead of your husband.” His expression said that dads are not very keen on the whole you're-committing-adultery-with-my-baby thing.

I stirred the eggs and spoke matter-of-factly over my shoulder. “I'm married to a High Shaman and warrior, who is also leader of his people. His name is ClanFintan. He's not here with me because he exists in another world.”

To his credit Dad didn't miss a beat. “You said you were only there since your accident. That's been six months. Doesn't seem enough time to meet and marry someone.”

“It was an arranged marriage. I woke in Partholon after the accident to find myself betrothed to him. It was one of the things Rhiannon was running away from.”

“Rhiannon?”

“That's her name, Dad. The woman who has been masquerading as me.” I drained the bacon on some folded paper towels and pulled three plates out of the cabinet nearest the sink. “Breakfast is ready. Y'all can help yourselves,” I drawled. An Oklahoma accent is always useful when bossing around Okie men.

Dad and Clint responded true to form (like I was a drill sergeant calling them to chow), and soon the three of us were seated in a circle around the small kitchen table. I was pleased that my stomach was staying still and seemed to be able to enjoy a real meal for a change.

Between bites Dad kept up the questioning. “Sounds like you stepped into a mess if this Rhiannon woman ran to another world to get out of marrying the guy.”

“It wasn't just that,” Clint spoke up. “Rhiannon left a world that needed her not because she was being forced into a marriage. She left it because she was a selfish coward and she lusted after the type of power she glimpsed in this world.”

Dad chewed, and studied Clint speculatively. “Where do you fit into all of this?”

“I brought Shannon back to this world,” Clint said simply.

“You?” Dad's eyes widened in surprise. “Why?”

Before Clint could answer, I said, “To understand that, you need to understand Rhiannon, which means you need to know the whole story.”

“I'm listening.”

I smiled my appreciation of his open mind, and launched into my story. Dad listened closely without interrupting, except for several questions about centaurs and shapeshifting. The idea of the human/horse merger appeared to fascinate him. Clint listened attentively, too. I realized that, although I had explained bits and pieces of what had happened in Partholon to Clint, he had never heard the entire story except from Rhiannon's manipulative perspective.

“…So ClanFintan and the warriors had returned from Guardian Castle, and it was just days away from the Samhain celebration when Epi would be mated with a stallion to ensure fertility of the land. She was restless, so ClanFintan and I took her out, thinking it would help her to settle down. Instead, she led us to an ancient grove.” Here I paused and glanced at Clint. He continued for me.

“I was causing the mare's restlessness. I had found the mirror of the Partholonian grove, through which there was an opening between worlds. I realized Rhiannon's evil nature, and I was trying to call Shannon here, and expel Rhiannon from here to there.” He gave me a sober look. “I thought I would be rescuing her from a world that Rhiannon had described as horrible. But actually I was pulling her away from a husband she loved, and people who needed her. To add insult to injury, I didn't even get rid of Rhiannon.”

“What?” Dad rediscovered his voice. “Rhiannon is still here?”

“Well, I don't think she's in Oklahoma, but she is most certainly in this world,” Clint said. “I'm not sure why I was only able to bring Shannon here without expelling Rhiannon.”

“Best guess?” Dad asked.

“I underestimated Rhiannon, which won't happen again.”

“And that's not all, Dad.” His gaze shifted once more to my face. “Remember the ancient evil I told you about that cor
rupted Guardian Castle? I think it's working again. Somehow Nuada's spirit or essence or—oh, hell, I don't know what to call it—he's alive. And he's here. He caused Suzanna's death last night.”

“Explain that, Shannon.”

“Nuada was there last night. He made a car propel itself into Suz.” My voice cracked on her name. “It looked like an accident, but Clint and I felt his presence, and we know he did something to the car. And, Dad, I think he may be coming here next.”

“Here? Why?”

“He's obsessed with me. He thinks I called him back from the dead. Of course I didn't—I don't want anything to do with him, even if I did know how to call up the dead, which I sure as hell don't. I think whatever resurrected him has something to do with the dark god from Partholon. But when I rejected him he swore that he would kill my loved ones in this world, as he had in the other.”

“You already saw him kill my mirror image in Partholon.”

I nodded, swallowing back tears. “And Epona has warned me that it is because Nuada has been released here that this unnatural weather is happening. The Goddess says he must be stopped…” I hesitated and added quietly, “Before I can go back.”

“Go back?” Dad's spine straightened in surprise. “I realize you became attached to some of those people, but this is your home, Shannon. This is where you belong. We'll figure out a way to send Rhiannon back there and she can take care of her own responsibilities.”