Divinity: The Gathering: Book One (54 page)

“All we need to do is respect and continue to
steer clear of them just as we have been doing for centuries in the spirit plane. Keep to the neutral grounds near my dwelling and the upper mountainous areas. They’ve never pursued those in our legion before, so nothing will change just because she will join them soon.”

I’ve killed my share of divine warriors in the past but only in self-defense. I didn’t want to have to resort to that knowing that they were f
avored by Elohim, so I did what I could to avoid them altogether. That was why I couldn’t understand why I was to be there tonight with so many there. This was going to be brutal and ugly and many would be destroyed, I just knew it and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from reacting with humans around or not.

“I know you Cam. You won’t be able to stay away from her even then either if you truly feel the way you say you do about her, which means you may get yourself killed. I have to wo
nder…this isn’t like you at all to get all personal and open yourself up like this to anyone, even me, which makes me worry about you. No one gives a confession like that unless they’re on their death beds.” She then said as she eyed me and stood up. She then moved up behind me. I felt her hand gently touch my back and sliding up to my shoulder in comfort.

I smiled a bit at her concern as I turned to face her.

She looked up at me trying to read into my eyes, I knew Edanai.

If she only knew. Don’t worry about me. I’m going to be taken out of the equation, I wan
ted to say, but I opted not to respond to that at all. What I was telling her was more for the rest of them to understand and follow, since I would no longer exist soon. I wasn’t going to tell Edanai my plans to kill Star tonight myself. She would scold and try to stop me, and I didn’t need any interference from her or Rahab, or anyone else.

More importantly, I didn’t want them to be there and witness me being smote by Elohim either. I couldn’t do that to her, to them; encouraging them to do what I did and lose all hope in giving up and giving in to the new earth and its po
ssible new ruler.

“Don’t you dare!” She said punching me in the chest. I playfully pretended it made me falter back a bit as I coughed and rubbed my chest jo
kingly, feigning to be hurt.

I could see the sorrow in her eyes.

“Don’t I dare what?” I teased her with a smirk this time as I playfully pulled her up towards me with a quick kiss on her forehead.

“I gotta go. Remember what I said about tonight,” I pointed to her as I hea
ded back up the stairs to bathe and change.

I could feel Edanai’s eyes on my back the entire time.

“Cam, she’s a virgin...maintain some self-control.” She called out to me as I hit the landing.

“Who me or her?” I
teased, glancing down at her and giving her a glowing eyed, mischievous smirk and wink.

XVIII: Starling:

I
t was already going on six o’clock now. Given how long we had been circling the parking lot to find a space, I knew it was going to be a long while because of the crowd and traffic, and then trying to make it back in time to get ready for my date, so I was glad I decided on dressing ahead and being ready for my date with Cam for this reason.

I spent extra time on my hair, make-up and perfume; choosing an off the shoulder form fitting slinky, royal purple tunic dress with black lace tights unde
rneath and calf length black boots with heels beneath my black, thigh length wool, pea coat. I couldn’t wait to see Cam again, feeling butterflies in the pit of my stomach just thinking about him. I was nervous, and it wasn’t just the date alone but the things I wanted to observe and ask as well, and not knowing what he’d say…or do.

Joel’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull when he saw me
, since he rarely saw me all dolled up like this. I felt badly about it though, because he also seemed a bit jealous at the thought of me going out with someone else, even if we were just friends. But regardless, I pondered my bucket list and wanted badly to bring up the question that I know had been on my mind, and probably his for a while during the drive downtown.

“He must be some guy ‘cause damn, you look hot tonight.”  He commented with a grin.

I smiled at his handsome face. He wore his contacts again.

“Thanks.” I replied.

“Is he gonna meet you here?” Joel asked.

“Yeah, I’m gonna call him in a bit and see if he doesn’t mind.” I then said.

He looked over at me then, his dark almond eyes flicking down at my thigh and bare skin through the lace of my stockings.

“I don’t think he’ll have a problem finding you in this crowd.” Joel then said.

He was making me blush now.

It was silent for a moment
, and my heart raced with both a flirtatious anticipation in hearing his compliment and hesitation.

“Logan told me about Professor Phillips. Did you know?” I then asked.

He blew out a sigh, “Yeah, there was an e-mail they sent out. I think they’ve already gotten a substitute to take his place for the rest of the fall semester, and they’re not sure he’ll be back at all. That’s pretty fucked up, I feel bad for him and his family,” Joel said shaking his head.

“Yeah me too,” I replied.

Joel turned down the music on the stereo system to create a momentary silence, as if we were both taking a moment of silence for Professor Phillips and his ordeal out of respect. Bringing that up made me think of my bucket list, and I chewed my bottom lip before speaking again.

“Hey, let me ask you something,” I then said.

“Shoot.” He said.

I took a moment to figure out what I would ask him first, “If you knew y
ou were going to die tomorrow — what would you do today?” I asked him.

He wrinkled his brow.

“What? What brought that on?” he chuckled.

“Just a hypothetical question,” I replied.

He thought for a moment
, and shrugged a shoulder, “I don’t know — a lot of things I guess.” He then said.

“Name three.”

“Three things?” he repeated with a smile, as he pretended to think hard about it.

“Hmm, well I think I’d take all the money I had
, and go somewhere I’d never been before for one,” He began.

“Okay.” 

“Then…I don’t know. It’s kind of hard for me to say I guess because I think we should all be living as if that were the case. My mom always says we’re not promised tomorrow, which is true.” He then said.

“I agree.” I nodded.

“What about you?” He then looked over at me with a smirk.

“Same thing as you for one
, and then I’d donate all my money to worthy organizations like the homeless and the hungry and then…” I lingered off.

He turned to look at me with expectation.

              I felt myself blushing red hot already and I was unable to look him in the eye because I wasn’t sure what he would think of me if I said it, but —here goes.

I glanced over at him, “I
would want you… to — be my first,” I said quickly, and then refocused my gaze straight ahead again.

             
The tires screeched to a dead halt, and we were both thrown forward a bit, caught by our seatbelts. At first I thought maybe Joel was avoiding hitting the car in front of us or even stopping in time for the red light, but that hadn’t been the case, and then the car behind us honked loudly.

I had shocked him
, and I chuckled inside to myself, though my entire face burned and my heart raced. I couldn’t believe I just said that, even if I had meant it.

“Say what?” He was definitely stunned, his mouth slightly agape when he looked at me.

I turned around in my seat to look behind us at the honking car that Joel didn’t seem bothered by.

“You’d better go before you start a brawl.” I joked.

He commenced to drive again, but he kept glancing at me more so than the road, which made me nervous because the closer we got to the venue, the worse traffic became stop and go.

“Did you just say what I think you just said?” He asked again.

“Uh-huh.” I said suddenly feeling too embarrassed to look at him.

Crap, I think I made it uncomfortable between us now. What was I thinking in telling him that
, and here I was, about to go out with another guy too? That was cruel.

             
There was a pause between us, and I still refused to look over at him though I could tell he was looking at me from time to time.

“Are you playing with me?” he then asked softly.

“I wouldn’t, not about that.” I said, still not looking at him.

“I’m shocked.” He then said.

I suddenly took offense and eyed him then, “What do you mean shocked?” I frowned.

“Huh? Oh
, no not about that. I meant that… I had no idea you were thinking of me like that. I guess I always thought you wanted to stay friends.” He then said.

“I do.” I told him.

His brows furrowed, “Wait, you said you wanted me to be your first, but you wanna stay friends though?” He repeated.

“Yeah…well, I don’t know.” I then said.

He exhaled, “Wow, you…you really have me reeling with that one. I mean, here you are looking all fine, and about to go out with some other dude. I’ve known you for the past year and a half and …I don’t even know what to say.” He stumbled over his words.

“It was just hypothetical Joel; I don’t plan on d
ying tomorrow.” I told him, and immediately regretted even saying those words what with all that’s happened in the past two days.

             
He looked over at me again, not believing that entirely, and trying to figure out if I were truly serious. I noticed him shift in his seat several times too, and I tried not to even venture my gaze there, but I think he was definitely thinking about it now.

“Well, if we’re being honest, I won’t lie to you. I’ve thought about it more than once…in fact I’m thinking about it right now, thanks a lot. But you know for me, I care about you too much
, and I couldn’t go there with you unless I knew it was more than that. I can’t do the friends with benefits thing with you, it wouldn’t be enough.” He then said.

I looked over at him then both stunned
, and feeling my eyes tear up a bit. He was completely serious I could tell, and I suddenly felt guilty that — yes I was about to go out with another guy…another incredibly hot guy at that, and here he was being sweet and baring his true feelings to me.

I sighed, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even brought it up or said anything about it. Now it’s gonna be awkward.” I then said just as Joel had pulled over and parked the car; unbuckled his seatbelt
, and then leaned over with a hand to my cheek. He moved in close to me, his full lips inches from mine.

I could feel his warm breath on my bo
ttom lip, as his brushed mine barely, before a hard thump strong enough to rock the car from the outside of the driver’s side door threw him forward, and we bumped foreheads.

“Ow!” I said cupping a hand over my forehead.

“What the fu…” Joel rubbed his own forehead, and turned around to open the driver’s side door, thinking someone had broadsided him and ran.

“What happened?” I asked.

He got out and stood up, looking around with a confused expression at the traffic slowly rolling by.

             
After a few moments he got back into the car with an annoyed look as he shifted into park and clicked on his turn signal.

“I didn’t see anything, no dent or scratch and that cop back there told me to move along ‘cause we can’t park here, no shit. Are you okay? I’m so
rry,” He then said shaking his head, and examining my forehead.

I didn’t know if he were more u
pset about that strange discovery, someone possibly hitting his car and running, or not completing our tender moment and kiss.

“I’m fine, it wasn’t your fault. It felt like someone hit us.” I asked in surprise
, and then swallowed.

“I know but there’s nothing there.” He replied.

That was randomly weird timing, just as Joel was about to kiss me.

I wondered if he would try again later.

Finally finding a parking space put us at six thirty
, and I immediately scrolled my phone list for Cam’s number where I had saved it, and called him. Joel understood, though I could tell he was agitated by the thought given our previous recent conversation.