Donners of the Dead (9 page)

“Well it ain’t going to be me,” Isaac snapped at him. “This is my uncle out there.”

“So you keep saying,” Jake said, stroking at his rough beard. “I reckon you must be the most loyal nephew on earth to keep going after him so…passionately.”

The two of them stared at each other in a silent showdown, Jake not breaking his gaze for a second. Finally Isaac muttered, “Get out of my way,” and tried to push past Jake before he realized that Jake was solid and immovable as a tree. He ended up going around him.

Hank stared at me with his leering eyes and licked his cracked lips before he followed after him. I shivered with revulsion.

“Best get you inside too,” Jake said as he eyed me. Little did he know I wasn’t shivering because I was cold.

Once we were back inside the cabin, I saw that Merv was propped up in his bed and still unconscious. His hand was fully-wrapped in muslin with only a small amount of blood soaking through, and his body was piled high with blankets.

Donna was washing her hands in a bowl of hot water beside Avery who smiled at me with relief.

“How is he?” I asked.

“I managed to stop most of the bleeding,” she said, her voice shaking. She pushed her blonde curls out of her eyes with her forearm, her hands still soapy. “The challenge is keeping the wound clean. We’ll need to keep changing the bandages.”

“Will we have to take him back to River Bend?” Jake asked, appearing beside me, still in those long johns.

She kept her God-fearing eyes averted and looked down at Meeks’ body instead. “Not if we keep him here for the next day or two. He shouldn’t be on the move, either back to River Bend or continuing north.”

“Ah, what the hell does she know?” Hank’s voice came from the other side of the cabin.

Donna’s cheeks burned with anger. “I know enough,” she said, lowering her voice. She looked at Jake, keeping her eyes above his neck. “He’ll be too weak to ride. For goodness sake,
I
feel too weak to ride. That was a horrible thing that just happened. Wicked and evil, like Satan crawled right here in this cabin with us.”

Jake exhaled loudly. “Don’t you think it makes sense then that we move on?”

“We could split up,” Tim mused from the corner of the cabin where he was sitting on a stool, appearing deep in thought. “Some of us can stay here, some of us can keep going.”

“Splitting up didn’t exactly worked for the Donner party, did it?” Jake pointed out.

I looked at Avery in fear, not wanting us to separate. He came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, his head lowered toward mine. “Don’t worry, Eve, whatever we end up doing, I’m not leaving you. Not until I teach you how to fire a gun, anyway.”

Jake snorted loudly.

Avery lifted his head and gave him a dirty look. “Do you think that’s funny? Eve needs to know how to protect herself.”

His smile twisted. “A woman with a gun is a bad idea, boy. You’d be putting all our lives at risk.”

“Only your life,” I muttered under my breath. From the way his lips twitched further, I knew he had heard me.

He walked over into the center of the room by the roaring fire and addressed everyone. “I know we’re all worried about old Merv here pulling through. I know we’re all worried about finding what we’ve come out here to find. And I know we’re all worried that something or someone has already found us. But there just ain’t no use in worrying tonight. I’ll keep watch until sunup in case the finger-biting bastard comes back. Then we’ll start figuring out what to do.”

With the phrase “finger-biting bastard” rolling around in my head, it was a wonder I got any sleep at all.

*

Overnight, five inches
of snow had fallen and more kept coming by morning, prompting Jake to nail boards to the broken window. Meeks was in a delirious state, more so than I would have thought. In the end, it was only his pinky finger that was missing, not a leg or anything so crucial as that, and yet he kept moaning about being ruined for the rest of his life. After everything, I would have thought he’d be more concerned with
how
his finger was taken but he wasn’t.

However, he was the only one who seemed unconcerned about that. As much as Isaac had been chomping at the bit to go forth to the next site, this morning he was hell-bent on finding the culprit. By now, theories about what it was were rampant, especially after they heard my testimony of what I saw. For whatever reason, Isaac and Hank seemed to want to track down this monster, even though the two of them seemed to have little regard for how Meeks was doing.

Naturally, I had to come along. I didn’t mind, especially when Tim said he’d stay behind to watch over Donna and Meeks. The rest of us set out on a long expedition, everyone relying on me to lead the way. The smell of rotting meat only got me so far though. Whatever or whoever that was, they were long gone.

When we paused for food—some leftover stew—Avery took the time to try and teach me how to load and shoot a rifle. I couldn’t say it was a success. Loading the gun itself was a long and complicated process, with having to put the right amount of gunpowder down the muzzle, then placing the ball in there and shoving it down as far as it could go, then adding cloth to the end, plus checking something called the firing cap. It was all way over my head, and even though we were doing this far away from the party, Jake would occasionally watch us and yell at Avery that he should be using a flintlock rifle, that his wasn’t a real man’s gun, that he was teaching me all wrong.

The curious thing for me was that Avery was in very close contact with me the whole time, closer than he’d ever been, and extremely attentive. When he first showed me how to hold the rifle, he put his arms around me, embracing my back. He smelled so good, clean and familiar, despite the fact we were camping and surrounded by light snow. And yet…I felt nothing. I’d always imagined Avery and I getting closer in this sort of way, of course on the more romantic side of things, but my heart never skipped a beat; I never felt all shivery and new. I just felt like he was my good friend Avery teaching me how to shoot a gun. It was comfortable. Nothing more and nothing less.

But by the time I was finally ready to fire at a tree for target practice, Jake shouted for us to get going. As if God waved his hand across the sky, it began snowing harder and growing colder, enough so that my bonnet was crusted with ice and my fingers began to go numb. Isaac wanted to go on and keep looking for the monstrosity, but Jake wasn’t having any of it, and even Hank seemed to agree.

The ride back to the cabin seemed longer, perhaps because we were all growing more miserable by the minute. When we finally arrived, Isaac and Hank abandoned their horses, even though they were steaming with sweat, and rushed on inside to get warm. Avery volunteered to rub them down and I followed suit. It wasn’t really volunteering since we were being paid, and I wouldn’t let a horse be put away without taking care of them first. We even took Trouble and told Jake to go inside and relax, though he seemed a bit hesitant about it. Once again, he hated taking orders from someone like me.

While we worked, taking off the saddles and gear, and rubbing them down with rags warmed by the fire until their coats were dry, I felt like I had a million things to ask Avery—we hadn’t really been alone yet this whole time, and the words had been building up inside of me.

I cleared my throat, ready to talk in privacy about how I felt about Isaac, Hank and this “monster,” but for some reason I was bringing up something completely irrelevant.

“Avery,” I started, unable to keep my lips from being still, “are you in love with Rose?”

He froze just as my heart did. He was shocked as I thought he would be, and I prepared myself for the possible answer.

“Eve…” he began, running his hand through his golden hair. “What a thing to ask.”

“I’m your friend and I can ask such things if I want,” I said.

He frowned at me. “You always were bold but you’ve gotten bolder. I’m afraid these cowboys are rubbing off on you.”

I just stared at him, wanting an honest answer so I could be done wondering about it.

He sighed and leaned his head back, the skin on his neck exposed and pale compared to his tanned face. “Am I in love with Rose? I don’t know. I reckon I don’t know what love is. You know it when you feel it, don’t you? Isn’t that what they say?”

I nodded, though now I had my doubts too. I had started to think I was in love with Avery, but now I couldn’t quite be sure. I would do anything for him…he was as beautiful as anything. He was warm. And most of all, he was safe.

Love was safe, wasn’t it?

“I don’t know,” I whispered to him. I’d thought about telling him how I felt, but it always started with his proclamations first, if there were any. “Do you like her? More than…more than you like me?”

A wash of pity came across his blue eyes, as if he just got the clue. “Oh, Eve. You’re my best friend. The way I feel about your cousin…”

“Is different,” I supplied in a dull voice.

“It
is
different,” he implored. He slapped the rag on Trouble’s hindquarters and came around to see me.

“It’s because I’m not like you,” I said, looking him in the eye. “White.”

“It’s because you’re not
Rose
,” he said.

I bit my lip as a million reasons flashed through my head. I wasn’t pretty enough, voluptuous enough, pale enough, well-dressed enough, or smart enough. I wasn’t privileged. Avery wanted a lady and I for sure wasn’t one.

I breathed in deeply through my nose, feeling a queer sense of warmth build inside. I loved Avery. I wanted him to be happy. He was a good man, a handsome man, and my best friend. He deserved a lady above all else. I couldn’t be mad at him because I wasn’t what he deserved, what he wanted.

“Do you know if she feels the same way?” I asked.

He rubbed at his chin and looked away. “I don’t know. And even if she does…feel something, it’s not as if your uncle is going to let her run off with the ranch hand.”

“Unless you had a great deal of money,” I pointed out. “Which this trip will surely give you.”

“I’d give it all to Rose, if she’d have it. I’d buy her anything she wanted.”

“And what if what she wants is to leave River Bend?” I asked softly.

He looked me in the eye, a sad smile on his thin lips. “Then I’ll take her away. As far as she wants.”

“I won’t be there.”

“You could come too, Eve. In fact, I’d want you to come.”

“That would be more than uncomfortable, Avery.”

“It wouldn’t…I promise. Don’t you want to see the world? See more than River Bend and these trees and these mountains? There’s a great big country out there, just waiting for us.”

I did want to see the world. I did want to lay my eyes on new lands and new promises. I wanted to find my place, a place where I could be me and be free from prejudice. Free to live my life and be free from fear. But I’d always imagined it being with someone who wanted me there—and only me. Someone who wanted to start their lives over again with me by their side.

And now I knew for sure that a new life wasn’t in the cards.

After that sobering thought, we ran back to the cabin through the mounting snow to have supper and settle down for the night. Meeks had calmed down a bit, maybe because he was constantly plied with moonshine, and everyone else seemed in relatively good spirits considering. Donna was happy with Meeks’ progress, saying he might be well enough to travel onwards tomorrow if the snow let up.

Unfortunately, the snow didn’t let up. It only got worse. By the time we woke up the next morning, we were in the middle of a blizzard and Jake had to nail the boards across the window shut again. Frost had covered the inside of the walls and the wind was whistling through, angry and bitingly cold, and everyone had to huddle around the fire to keep warm. Even going to the outhouse was a risky excursion for you were snow blind in the endless white. Twice, I bumped into trees thinking I was heading in the direction of the cabin.

The next day wasn’t any better.

Or the next.

The blizzard raged on for
five
straight days, five full,
long
days where we were all trapped in the cabin, our tempers starting to flare and our patience greatly diminished. While Meeks was healing, Hank, Isaac, and now Jake were miserable and agitated by the slightest thing. Tim worked extra hard keeping the peace, and even Avery became a bit whiny at the situation. It was almost like talking about Rose made him realize why he was doing this, and that he needed to get back to her as soon as he could. The only upside to the whole thing—as far as I was concerned—was that I didn’t fear the creature would come back. It was impossible for any man or animal to traverse the woods during such a storm.

On the last day of the blizzard, just as dusk was falling, I went out to the outhouse, hoping that the snow would let up a little. The drifts were huge, so tall that the way to the outhouse was now a tunnel with ice walls up both sides and the route wasn’t a straight shot, either. When you were near the trees and the outhouse, the tunnel would bend and you couldn’t see anything in front of you but the blue glow of packed snow.