Don't Let Me Go (11 page)

‘It’s OK. She’ll be fine,’ Charlotte assured her. ‘Have you seen or heard anything from Rick this morning?’

Shelley’s eyes sparkled with irony. ‘You mean he’s alive and capable of speaking? Well that’s good to hear. No, he hasn’t been in touch, but I’m told he rejected the house on Opito Bay, so I take it he was down at yours hiding from Katie, or Dad – possibly both.’

‘Something like that,’ Charlotte replied with a smile. ‘Is your dad furious?’

Shelley pondered. ‘I think exasperated would be a better way of putting it,’ she decided, ‘and baffled. He really thought Rick would go for it, and from what I hear there’s nothing about it not to love. But hey, that’s my brother for you, he’s never been easy to please.’

Realising someone was hovering behind her, hoping to pay, Charlotte said, ‘I’d better leave you to it. I’ll see you later and thanks again,’ and keeping her own head down as a rowdy bunch of English tourists entered the store, she ran back through the drizzle to the car. Though it wasn’t likely anyone would recognise her and Chloe as the young woman and child whose faces had been splashed over their TV screens and papers a few months ago, it wasn’t impossible either, and the last thing Charlotte wanted was any more unwelcome brushes with fame. This was why she so rarely came to the Stone Store with its constant flow of tourists, because if anyone were to tip the British press off to where she was, then someone would be sure to want to make an issue of it. And if they did it would be an end to everything she was trying to build here.

Actually, it would be an end to everything, full stop, she thought, as her mobile rang.

‘Hi,’ she said, tucking the phone under her chin as she buckled a sleepy Chloe into her car seat. ‘Where are you?’

‘At a mate’s,’ Rick answered, ‘Gavin Hume, I don’t think you know him. Are you still with Anna?’

‘No, I’ve had to come into town to get Chloe.’

‘Into
town
? What’s she doing there?’

‘Long story. I think I should tell you that Mum knows about you.’

‘Oh my God, you told her?’

‘No! Or not exactly. I just got her to admit what she already knew. You don’t need to worry about her telling Bob, though, I think she sees that as your job. Have you seen Katie yet?’

‘No. She left a message on my mobile saying she needs some space. I went round there anyway, but she wasn’t in. Christ, it’s a mess, and it’s all my fault, which makes me feel so much better.’

‘You can’t exactly help the way you are,’ she reminded him.

‘No, but I should never have let things get this far. It was just that everyone seemed so happy when Katie and I got together, like it was all meant to be, and obviously I had feelings for her. I still do . . .’ He broke off with an agitated sigh. ‘I was an idiot then, and I’m no better now, because I can’t for the hell of me think how to put things right without hurting her.’

‘I’m afraid that won’t be possible if she’s in love with you, and I don’t think there’s much doubt that she is. Still, better you sort things out before you marry her than after.’

‘Of course, but I’m afraid it’s not going to happen this weekend. I’ve just booked myself on the seven thirty back to Auckland tonight. No, I’m not running away, I swear it. A meeting scheduled to start at eleven in the morning has been brought forward to nine and I can’t miss it.’

‘OK, I believe you. Now I need to go, I’m afraid. I have to get Chloe home and it looks like my mother’s trying to get through. Let’s speak later,’ and clicking to the next call she said, ‘Hi, Mum, I’m about to start driving . . .’

‘Actually, it’s me,’ Bob interrupted, ‘and I won’t keep you a moment.’

Bracing herself, since she was sure this was going to be about the scene she’d had with her mother, Charlotte said, ‘Is everything all right?’

‘I think so,’ he replied. ‘It’s simply that I’ve had an idea for Chloe’s birthday that I’d like to run past you.’

Touched that he was already making plans, Charlotte averted her head as the English tourists wandered by, saying, ‘I’m all ears.’

‘Well, actually, I’m hoping you might be free to discuss it over a coffee in the morning. I have to be in town first thing, and I expect you’re taking Chloe to Aroha, so would ten at the Pear Tree work for you? My treat.’

Glancing at the restaurant in her rear-view mirror, gleaming like a colonial jewel on the banks of the basin, Charlotte was about to remind him that it was a bit close to the Stone Store when she remembered that Chloe wouldn’t be with her. It was seeing them together that would be most likely to jog a memory, whereas a thirty-year-old woman seated at a table with an older man, quite possibly her father, wasn’t likely to draw much attention at all.

And Mondays were generally quiet.

‘OK, see you there,’ she said with a smile, ‘you get the coffees, I’ll get the cake.’

Chapter Six

THE FOLLOWING MORNING
Charlotte was up at seven, keen to use her laptop before Chloe woke. Seeing the computer at the table could sometimes scare her into thinking she was going to be shown the images of herself that her father had shot and uploaded for the sick edification of his paedophile chums. Since this had been Chloe’s first experience of computers, it was no wonder she was so nervous of them. However, Celia at Aroha was gradually coaxing her to watch videos on the computer there, and since she was having some success with that Charlotte felt it was probably time to start trying it at home.

After dealing with the few emails she found for Charlotte@TepunaLodge, she quickly called up her old address and without reading Anthony Goodman’s message again she deleted it. Though it had taken a couple of days, she’d finally persuaded herself that this really was the only way to deal with it. It might also prevent her from constantly thinking about him and imagining what she’d really like to say if she emailed back. She wasn’t going to, so she needed to remove the temptation in the only way she knew how and stay focused on reality.

Once the computer was tucked out of sight she bundled a pile of washing into the machine, ironed Chloe’s clothes for the day, then went to take a shower. By the time she was ready to wake Chloe she realised that all she’d been thinking about this past hour was Anthony Goodman and how wonderful it would be if she were able to see him when he came to NZ.

Of course, she hadn’t really believed that erasing his message would obliterate him from her thoughts entirely; after all, there wasn’t any way of unknowing someone, but she had hoped it might at least help put an end to all the nonsense going round in her head.

So much for that,
she was thinking wryly, as she rolled Chloe on to her back and smiled down into her sleepy face. ‘Hello you,’ she whispered fondly. ‘The Good Fairy’s just been by to remind me it’s a painting day at Aroha and you love painting, don’t you?’

Chloe nodded and rubbed her eyes. ‘Going to do a picture for Nanna today,’ she said huskily.

Moving past the pang of awkwardness as she thought of her mother, Charlotte said, ‘She’ll love that. She’ll be able to put it on her fridge along with all the others.’

‘Yes, because I’ve done lots.’

‘Indeed you have.’

‘For you too, and they’re on our fridge.’

‘They’re all over our little bach making it a very lovely and colourful place to live in. Are you ready for some Weet-bix now?’

‘Yes please.’ She yawned loudly and stretched out her little limbs, managing to crush the trusty Boots in the process. ‘Is Uncle Wick gone in the plane now?’ she asked, padding into the kitchen after Charlotte.

‘You know he has because we went to wave him off, didn’t we?’

‘Yes, and he waved back because we could see him in the window. I’m going to paint a picture for him too. And for Auntie Katie to cheer her up.’

Surprised at that, until she realised Chloe must have been listening to her conversation with Rick at the airport last night, Charlotte dropped a kiss on her head just for being so sweet-natured.

‘I can’t do a jump-off today,’ Chloe sighed, as Charlotte popped a Weet-bix in her bowl. ‘I have to wait till I’m five, but when I’m five I’m going to jump off to Uncle Wick.’

Smiling at the image, Charlotte said, ‘That will make him so proud, but before that you have to decide what we’re going to do for your fourth birthday in a couple of weeks.’ She wouldn’t tell her she was going to meet Grandpa later to talk about his idea just in case the plan, whatever it was, didn’t work out. Besides, mentioning Grandpa often rendered her silent, and since there were nightmares in that silence it was best avoided.

‘I’m going to bake a cake and take it to O-a,’ Chloe stated, unable to pronounce Aroha. ‘Then I’m going to blow out the candles and make a wish.’

‘Ah yes, have you decided yet what to wish for? Don’t make it a jump-off because you know that’s for when you’re five.’

Kicking her legs back and forth, Chloe pretended to give Boots a mouthful of cereal, which she then ate herself. ‘Want to do wees,’ she suddenly announced, and sliding off her chair at speed she darted into the bathroom.

An hour later, with Boots tucked loyally under one arm and her pink backpack dangling over the other, Chloe led the way over the bridge up to the car, calling out ‘Good morning,’ to Mr Kingfisher and a crowd of noisy parrots on the way. There was also a stop to wonder if there were any pipis at the water’s edge, and another to gasp as a dolphin leapt out of the bay. At the car Charlotte had to run back for her mobile, and when she returned it was to find Chloe at the edge of the pond telling the ducks she would see them later.

The drive along the peninsula into town was one Charlotte always enjoyed, even on lacklustre mornings such as this one, for the breathtaking vistas of rich green meadows rolling down to the ocean, in some places both sides of the road, could make her feel as though they were on top of the world. As usual they sang nursery rhymes and named things they passed – oyster racks, black cows, fluffy sheep, orange and lemon trees, children waiting for the school bus, the Little Dippers swim school, a possum squished in the road.

‘A dead possum is the best possum,’ Chloe shouted, echoing what she regularly heard at Bob and Anna’s get-togethers.

‘And why is that?’ Charlotte asked her.

‘Because they eat the trees and make them sick.’

‘That’s right,’ and spotting their postman driving towards them, Charlotte flashed her headlights to say hello.

‘Need any extras today?’ he asked, as they slowed up alongside one another.

‘Thanks, but I’m going to the supermarket later,’ she told him, still entranced by the fact that the postman was a willing runner of errands.

‘OK, well don’t forget to call if you forget anything. I can always pick it up and bring it tomorrow,’ and with a jolly little wave to Chloe, he drove on his way.

‘That was Greg,’ Chloe announced. ‘And Maya’s his mummy. I can count in Maori,
tahi
,
rua
,
tora
 . . . ‘

Loving what a chatterbox she was turning into, Charlotte checked her phone as it rang, and seeing it was her mother a surge of guilt made her hesitate. They hadn’t spoken since their showdown yesterday so things still weren’t right between them, and no doubt Anna wanted to try and remedy that.

‘Hi,’ Charlotte said as she answered, sounding stiffer than she’d intended. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Yes, thank you, I hope you are too.’

‘I’m fine. Just taking Chloe to Aroha.’

‘I thought you would be. There are a couple of things I want to ask, if you have a minute. First, are you still helping me with the shoot at Kauri Cliffs on Thursday and Friday? I only ask, because if you’ve changed your mind . . .’

‘I haven’t changed my mind,’ Charlotte cut in quickly. ‘Actually, I’m looking forward to it.’

There was relief in Anna’s voice as she said, ‘Me too. I think we worked very well together the last time, don’t you, and this one’s a bit special, given the location. Anyway, the second thing is . . . Well, I know you’re having coffee with Bob this morning, so I need to ask if you’re intending to tell him about Rick.’

With a flash of disbelief Charlotte retorted, ‘What do you take me for? Of course I’m not going to tell him. First of all it’s hardly my place to, and even if it were, I certainly wouldn’t do it in public.’

‘I’m sorry, of course you wouldn’t. It was wrong of me . . . I’m sorry, let’s change the subject. How’s Chloe this morning?’

Glancing in the rear-view mirror to where Chloe was still counting in Maori, Charlotte said, ‘Chatty.’ Then, because she felt she ought to, ‘I’m sorry for snapping, and I’m sorry I ran out on you yesterday . . .’

‘It’s OK. It was my fault and . . . Well, you had to go and fetch Chloe . . . Anyway, I’m seeing Sarah later, and I’m feeling in a slightly awkward position since our conversation yesterday. So I wondered if you knew whether Rick is intending to tell Katie that he’s, you know?’

‘Gay?’ Charlotte provided helpfully. ‘As far as I know he is. In fact, I’m sure he is, but why does it affect you seeing Sarah? You don’t have to tell her anything, you can let
her
tell
you
when the time comes, because I’m sure Katie’ll confide in her.’

‘Sarah is my closest friend of many years’ standing. We don’t normally have secrets from one another and, well, frankly we have discussed this . . . possibility about Rick in the past.’

More surprised than she ought to have been, Charlotte said, ‘And she’s never mentioned anything to Katie?’

‘It was hardly her place to, when we didn’t know for sure if we were right.’

Conceding the point, Charlotte said, ‘Well, in my opinion I think Rick should tell Katie himself, but if you’re thinking Sarah might want to . . .’

‘No, I’m sure she doesn’t, but if I can tell her that our suspicions are correct at least then she’ll be ready and prepared to do what she can for Katie when Katie finds out.’

After agreeing it would be a good idea, Charlotte dropped her phone back on the passenger seat and turned into the garage on the corner of Waipapa Road.

‘Gay, gay, gay, gay,’ Chloe was singing happily in the back.