Don't Make Me Beautiful (48 page)

He sends up his hundredth prayer that the woman who took Kitten from John at least kept her fed and clothed and somewhat stimulated.
 
A complete medical and psychological evaluation so far has shown no damaging effects and no abuse that they can find, so the chances are decent enough that she’s okay.

The only thing remaining is to move past the broken heart Nicole is suffering at the idea of another woman being cruel enough to take her child from her and keep it a secret for so long.
 
Brian is glad they’ll never meet her; he’s afraid what Nicole might do to her and not that sure about what he might do too.

The door opens and a social worker walks in, holding the baby dressed in the outfit that Nicole picked out for her.
 
It’s a pink onesie with tiny flowers and frills on the bottom.
 
Nicole has a blanket that matches sitting on the table in the small office they were given at the police station to manage this reunion.

Nicole moves forward immediately, one trembling hand on her mouth for a moment before her arms open and she begs silently for the woman to give her her child.

The woman hands the baby over, grunting with the effort.
 
“They’ve been calling her Sharon, but I started calling her the name you gave me as soon as I took custody of her.
 
It’s much prettier.”

Brian frowns at Nicole.
 
“What’s this all about?”
 
This is the first he’s hearing about a new name.

Nicole is crying silent tears as she hugs the baby to her.

The woman shrugs.
 
“I have some paperwork, but I left it in my car.
 
I’ll be back.
 
Don’t leave ’til you sign it, otherwise, you’ll make my job ten times harder when you make me track you down.”
 
She huffs and puffs out of the room and leaves them alone.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” Nicole whispers, swaying back and forth as she strokes the baby’s back.
 
The little girl rests her head on her mother’s shoulder, looking at her mother’s face.
 
Her tiny hand reaches up to take a lock of Nicole’s hair.
 
She twists it slowly around her fingers and pulls, trying to bring it to her mouth.

Brian comes over and carefully unwinds it as Nicole winces with the pain.
 
“Hello, Kitten. It’s nice to meet you,” he says, leaning in to kiss her soft cheek.

“She’s so beautiful,” Nicole whispers, full-on bawling now.
 
“I can’t … I can’t … I can’t breathe.”

Brian holds out his hands.
 
“Can I hold her?”

Nicole shakes her head.
 
“Not yet.”
 
She takes three deep breaths to calm herself.
 
“I need to feel her against me.
 
I need to hold her right now.
 
I can’t let her go.”

He nods and rubs her back.
 
“You going to be okay?”

The baby lifts her head suddenly and looks at Nicole, her tiny eyes searching her mother’s face as if trying to place her.

Nicole stops crying immediately.
 
“Hello, my angel,” she says.
 
“Did you miss your mommy?”
 
Her face crumples as more tears come out.

The baby reaches up and pats Nicole on the cheek.
 
Her movements are awkward and jerky, but it’s almost as if she’s trying to comfort her mother.
 
She makes no sounds, she doesn’t cry, she just stares at her mom like she knows her.

“She remembers you,” Brian says.
 
“You can see it in her eyes.
 
She does.”
 
He knows nothing will make Nicole happier than to believe this, so he hopes she does.
 
She needs so much healing to happen right now.
 
He cannot imagine the pain she must be in knowing that someone kept her baby from her for nearly eight months.
 
The cruelty is unfathomable.

Nicole nods as she takes the patting hand in hers and kisses it.
 
“I think she does too.
 
I know I remember her.
 
I remember that little nose.”
 
She shifts the baby so she can kiss it.
 
Looking up at Brian when she’s done, she says, “Do you want to hold her now?”

“Of course.”
 
He holds out his hands.
 
“Come on over here, Kitten.
 
Come to Daddy.”

Nicole smiles through her tears.
 
“Daddy, I’d like you to meet Briana.
 
Briana, this is your daddy.”

Brian’s heart stops beating for a few seconds as he takes the baby and holds her against his chest.
 
“Briana?” he asks, as he looks at her and then her mother.
 
His face burns and his heart swells to twice its size.

“Kitten can be her nickname.
 
I wanted to give her a name that we could be proud of.
 
One that means something special to me.”

He kisses the baby on her fat cheek.
 
“Hello, Briana.
 
Daddy’s little kitten.
 
Are you excited to meet your big brother?”
 
The last word almost doesn’t make it out, on account of the tears that have begun to flow for Brian too.

Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that catching a baseball at a Marlins’ game - the one thing he’s been trying to do his whole life - would end up catching him a wife and a daughter too … and a little sister for his beloved Liam. But he’s not complaining one bit.
 
Not one.

“You never did tell me about your sister,” Nicole says, rubbing the baby’s back as Brian holds her.

Brian clears his throat so the words will come out clearly.
 
“She was in a car accident with me when we were little.
 
We were Liam’s age.
 
She didn’t make it.
 
I did.”

“Oh, that’s terrible.”

“Yeah,” he says, touching foreheads with the baby.
 
“I lost my sister and my best friend that day.
 
The guy who hit our car was a mean drunk.
 
My parents tried to shield me from most of it, but he showed up at our house several times before he was put in jail.
 
After that I swore I’d never be like that guy.
 
Never be angry and pushy and … I don’t know.
 
It was a long time ago.”
 
Kissing the baby on the cheek, he closes his eyes.
 
“I truly believe it was her who led me to you two.
 
You picked the perfect name.”

He opens his eyes and stares at the woman he loves.
 
“Thank you, Nicole. Thank you for staying and becoming a part of my family.”

Nicole is crying happy tears now.
 
“Thank you for wanting me.
 
And Briana.”

“How could I not?
 
You’re my heart, babe.
 
My heart.
 
Without you I don’t know what I’d do now.”

“I think I’m ready now,” she says, almost shyly.

“Ready?
 
For what?”
 
He backs away a little to see her face.
 
He can’t tell her how beautiful it is because she gets so upset, but he thinks it, every time he looks at her.
 
Her inner light shines out from her eyes and makes her positively glow.
 
Motherhood looks really good on her.

“To go to that therapy you’ve been bugging me about.
 
I’m ready to talk to someone besides you and Helen and Agnes.
 
You’ve helped me past my trust issues, but I have so much more to deal with.
 
I think I need a professional to step in.”

He hugs her to him gently.
 
“Good for you, babe.
 
You can do this. I’m so happy for you.”

“For us.”

“Yeah.
 
For us.”

Chapter Sixty-Seven

NICOLE IS SEATED NEAR THE front of the courtroom on the far end of the long wooden bench-seat.
 
She looks at the side of John’s face as he sits in the chair wearing an orange jumpsuit.
 
His expression reveals nothing but contempt for the court process he’s being forced to endure.
 
She breathes another sigh of relief that the charges against her were dropped; she’s not sure how she would have been able to handle sitting in his position.

The judge speaks out with a commanding tone.
 
“What say you to the count of kidnapping of a child under age thirteen?”

“My client pleads guilty, your honor,” responds John’s attorney, standing.

“What say you to the count of false imprisonment of a child under age thirteen?”

“My client pleads guilty, your honor.”

“What say you to the count of felony battery?”

 
“My client pleads guilty, your honor.”

Nicole’s mind wanders as the judge continues down the list of over ten charges being brought against John.
 
She expected he’d plead guilty as part of the deal his lawyer put together.
 
With his former girlfriend confessing to everything and giving them a ton of evidence against him, he had no choice, really; he would have lost big time, facing life in prison.
 
Nicole’s not sure how she feels about him getting out in twenty years, but at least Briana will be old enough and smart enough to defend herself against him if he ever shows up.
 
Nicole will make absolutely sure of that.

She thinks back on the horrible story that unfolded and unraveled as the woman who had kept Briana began spilling her guts.
 
Dating John for only a month before getting pregnant, she panicked when she went into early labor.
 
He’d never hurt her or hit her, but she knew he was an intensely private person and would want to be the one to take her to the hospital.
 
By the time he got to her to bring her there, she’d already gone into labor.

They did everything they could to help the baby, but she was born lifeless, with a full head of dark hair.
 
John had left the woman at her apartment, making her swear not to call anyone or do anything.
 
He said he could fix everything.
 
A day later, he showed up with a tiny bald baby in his arms, and she’d never asked any questions.
 
Distraught over losing her child, she’d been only too happy to take this one instead.

The relationship with John became strained, but even so, they had an unspoken agreement: Don’t ask, don’t tell.
 
As long as she kept her mouth shut, she could have the daughter she had lost and no one would be the wiser.
 
Her nightmares about the real mother to this baby she held in her arms only bothered her when she was sleeping, or so she said.

It was easy enough to show up at the hospital and get a birth certificate when it was all over.
 
She had the puffed-out belly and all the other signs of a recent birth to back up her story.
 
A week later she had a birth certificate and a social security number declaring the child hers and John’s.

Nicole wakes up out of her voyage down memory lane as the judge shifts some papers around and then stares at John, the stern woman’s expression revealing the revulsion she feels just looking at him.

“In all my years of serving on this bench, I have never seen such a despicable excuse for a man such as you before me.
 
And believe me, I’ve seen some real losers.”

Nicole’s shocked at the woman’s candor, but couldn’t agree more.
 
She glances at John and sees his lip curl.
 
She’s seen that happen before, as he’s pounded his fist into her face.
 
She’s glad he’s doing it at that woman up there with the black robe and not her.

“You deprived a woman of her freedom, of her child, of her very identity as a human being.
 
You deprived a child of the love of her own mother for almost a year.
 
You not only allowed but you contrived to have another woman subvert the rights of another new mother who desperately wanted her baby.
 
If you have something to say for yourself, I’d love to hear it.”

His lawyer leans over and whispers into his ear, but Nicole can tell that John isn’t hearing any of it.
 
He stands, his hands and feet shackled.

John speaks with a tone Nicole has heard a thousand times.
 
She doesn’t flinch or turn away in fear this time, though.
 
This time, she watches him dig his own grave right here in the courtroom.

“You can say whatever you want about me.
 
It doesn’t matter.
 
I know the truth.
 
I know who I am.
 
I did what I had to do.
 
I did what any man would have done in my situation.”

“No, sir, you did not,” she argues.
 
“You did what a monster would have done in your situation.
 
That’s what you are.
 
You …,” she shakes her head, “…are a monster, nothing more.”

She glances over at Nicole briefly, barely registering her presence, but letting Nicole know that she knows she’s there.
 
She looks back at John.
 
“I hereby sentence you to twenty years in prison without eligibility for parole, as agreed between you and the district attorney. I’m also adding mandatory anger management counseling and domestic violence offender counseling to your sentence.”

“I didn’t agree to that!” John shouts, rattling his chains.