Don't Say A Word (38 page)
Authors: Barbara Freethy
"That should have been my choice, especially when I became an adult. I can't believe I sat by her bedside talking to her about our life together, our hopes and dreams, and none of this ever came out."
"Don't judge her too harshly," Charles said. "She loved you very much."
"What kind of love is filled with lies?"
"Sarah gave up her life for you, Julia," Charles said. "She walked away from her parents, her home, her community, her identity just so she could raise you. That wasn't cowardly; that was brave."
His words touched her. How could they not? But Sarah's sacrifices didn't make up for the lies. "I don't think I can forgive her."
"Give yourself some time," Charles advised. "Remember, love isn't always simple."
"People like you and Sarah are the ones who make it complicated." She sat back in her chair, the noise from the roller coasters penetrating her brain. She'd been so caught up in Charles's story, she'd lost track of time. Only now did she realize that the shadows were longer and deeper. It was getting late. They'd been talking for a long time.
She glanced at Alex, wondering if he wanted to take the lead now, ask his father some pointed, personal questions. She was surprised by the speculative look in his eyes as he stared at her. "What are you thinking?" she asked.
"That your sister looks just like you."
"Obviously, if she's my twin." She didn't understand his point.
- "If that photo of you in the Tribune got picked up nationally, or if Christine Delaney continues her quest to publicize you, your sister might see your picture in the paper and wonder why she has a twin she never met."
"And whoever is after me might go after her," Julia finished, suddenly realizing where his thoughts were headed. "We have to find her and fast." She turned back to Charles. "Do you think Mr. Brady knows where my sister is now? He knew where I was, right?"
Charles shook his head. "Brady didn't know where you were until Stan called him last week. As I said, Sarah disappeared off the face of the earth. Even when we reconnected, she made me promise to stay silent."
"What about my sister? Does she know who she really is?"
"The original foster family was paid handsomely not to ask questions. It's my understanding that that family broke up and your sister went into the system like any other American orphan."
"What's her name? Wait." Julia squeezed her eyes tight as an image popped into her head. She was playing with a doll. She was looking in the mirror, and she called the doll… On second thought, maybe she hadn't been looking in the mirror. Maybe she'd been looking at her sister. Yes, that was it. Her sister held the doll she wanted. Julia asked for it back, and she called her… "Elena," she whispered, her eyes flying open. "Her name was Elena."
"You remember her?" Alex asked.
"Just that. I think I've dreamed about her, but I always thought I was dreaming about me. That's j weird, isn't it?"
"You'll probably remember more now," Alex told her. "You suffered a huge trauma, being ripped from your home, your parents, your country. It's no wonder you blocked it out."
She directed her attention back to Charles. "You said Brady doesn't know where Elena is. Do you? Or does Stan know?"
"It could be dangerous for you to find her."
"According to you, I'm already in danger just by virtue of being alive."
He tipped his head in acknowledgement. "True. All right. I know that your sister goes by the name Elaine
Harrigan
. At one point she was a ballet dancer with a Washington DC ballet company. Maybe that will help you find her."
"How do you know that?"
"Sarah found her about ten years ago. I don't know how or what she ever intended to do with the information. She only said she was worried because Elaine was in ballet and someone might connect her to her famous mother."
Her sister was a ballet dancer. Another surprise, and yet it seemed right. She studied Charles, wondering why he'd decided to come clean. "Why?" she asked. "Why tell me now?"
"Alex is a grown man. You're a grown woman. It's your turn to make your own decisions." Charles's gaze focused on Alex. "Will you tell your mother about me?"
"I have to," Alex replied. "She deserves to know the truth."
Charles pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and pushed it across the table. "This is where I'll be if you want to talk to me, or if your mother does."
"I thought you were supposed to disappear again."
"I was. Brady won't be happy that we met, but I couldn't desert you a second time, Alex. I understand that you may never forgive me for what I did. But I know in my heart that I did what I believed was right. And I still believe it. You might have grown up without a father, but you lived, and you have a good life now. I've read a lot about you, everything I could get my hands on. You've made me proud."
"You should have come to me sometime in the last twenty-something years," Alex said harshly. "You should have found a way to tell me you were alive."
"I didn't think I had the right. You'd moved on. If you or your mother want to talk now, that's where I'll be. I'll leave it up to you."
"Mom will probably come after you with a gun," Alex said, but he put the piece of paper in his pocket.
"How is she?" Charles asked.
"She's divorced again, her third. She seems to have developed a fondness for her memories of you. She's been publicizing your photos all over town. In fact, your work is part of an exhibit at the Legion of Honor. But you probably already know that. You've been so close to us all these years."
"I started out across the country, but I eventually made my way back to San Francisco. In the beginning I wanted to watch over you."
"You watched me?" Alex asked, a rough edge to his voice.
"A few times. Enough to know you were all right."
"Yeah, I was fine. Just fine." Alex rose. "I think we're done here. Julia?"
"Just one last question," she said. "Did Sarah ever consider telling me the truth?"
"No." Charles looked her straight in the eye. "Sarah was afraid you would hate her for what she'd done. She told me she'd do everything she could to make sure you were happy and that you never lacked for anything, especially a family. She would make certain you were surrounded by love."
"I was," Julia said quietly. And now she had to wonder if Sarah had ever loved Gino, or if he'd just provided the family she so desperately needed to make the illusion complete.
An hour later Alex pulled off at the exit just before the
"What are you doing?" Julia took a quick look over her shoulder. "Is someone following us again?"
"No, but we can't go back to our apartments. They know where we live. I don't want someone trying to grab you or your purse. In fact, I don't want them getting anywhere near you.
His protectiveness touched her. She liked that he cared enough to worry about her. "What do you suggest we do?"
"Get a hotel room, call the airport, book a flight for DC first thing in the morning."
She turned sideways in her seat, amazed that she could still feel surprised after everything she'd learned. "You really think we should hop on a plane to Washington DC with nothing more than a name and a ballet company?"
"It's a good start. We'll have better luck tracking your sister there than here."
"If she's still in DC. Your father said the information was at least ten years old."
"But she was there, and she probably had friends in the ballet company. Someone might know where she is now," he pointed out.
"It's so spontaneous. I'm not the kind of person who jumps on planes every other day. It will be expensive, won't it, this close to departure?"
"I have lots of Frequent Flyer miles. It won't cost us a dime. I think of air travel like car travel. Going to DC is like going to St. Helena, except the trip is a few hours longer."
"So speaks the world traveler," she said with a smile.
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"It's a yes. I want to find my sister. I still can't believe I have a sister." Her smile dimmed. "Oh, no," she muttered.
"What now?" he asked warily.
"Liz. She won't like this at all. How will I tell her I have a twin sister who shares my blood, especially now that I know she doesn't? She won't understand. She was worried that she would lose me to my biological father. How on earth am I going to make her understand it doesn't change things?"
"It does change things. How could it not?"
"I love Liz. She'll always be my sister."
"But she won't be your only sister. That will take some adjustment, especially since Elaine or Elena looks just like you."
"Liz will definitely feel like the odd girl out," she agreed.
"Don't tell her yet. It will be easier to present the whole picture when it makes sense. If you give her this much, it will only be confusing and disturbing."
"Which describes my feelings exactly."
He ran his finger down the side of her face. "It's been a rough day for you. And here I thought it would be all about me and seeing my dad again, listening to his lies."
"Yeah, well, I didn't want you to have all the fun," she said lightly, trying to stay on the surface of her emotions. She was afraid if she didn't, she would have a complete meltdown, and it wasn't the time for that. "How was it, seeing your dad again?"
He shrugged. "I don't know."
"I think you do."
"If I do, I don't want to talk about it."
"Are you going to wait to tell your mother about your dad?"
"Yes," he said, without a hint of doubt in his voice. "I want to know everything first."
"We're getting closer," Julia said. "We finally know who my parents are-and that Sarah isn't my mother." She let out a sigh of weariness. "I don't want to talk about this right now, either. I have a headache."
"You need a break, time to let everything sink in."
"I feel like there's a thick curtain in my brain and I can't see past it. How could I have forgotten my twin sister for even a moment? Shouldn't there have been a connection between us? Shouldn't I have felt as if a part of me was missing?"
Alex's eyes filled with compassion. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You were three years old. You were a baby. Your whole life changed in an instant. I'm sure you missed your sister when you were first separated. But you had to bury that pain to survive. Then your life was filled with other people."
"That's true. My mother-Sarah-did manage to get pregnant, despite what everyone else told us. I was there for that part. I wonder if she regretted taking me then. After all, she had her own child. She could have given me away and still had her own family." Julia thought about all that had transpired, how many lives had been touched by her mother's one reckless decision. And up until today, she'd never thought of her mother as reckless. "My mother feels like a stranger to me now. How could I live with her for twenty-five years and not know her at all?"
"I know you're probably mad as hell at her, Julia, but I have to say, who knows what would have happened to you if Sarah had left you in foster care as she was supposed to? It's highly likely that you ended up having a much better life with her. It wasn't as if she stole you from your parents. They were already gone."
Alex was right. Her parents had been killed before Sarah decided to keep her. "I hadn't thought of it like that."
"That's because you haven't had time to think."
She smiled at him. "Thanks for sticking by me. I appreciate it."
"We made a deal to see this through."
"And I couldn't do it without you. You're a rock."
"A rock, huh? I think you can do better than that," he said, moving his hand down to her knee, where he let his fingers stray up her thigh.
She grinned as she put her hand over his, stopping his exploration. "Are you looking for compliments?"
"I'm looking for something," he said with a laugh.
"Behave yourself."
"I'm tired of behaving. I've been good all day." He leaned forward and stole a quick kiss.
That's all it took to send a wave of heat through her body. She was really in over her head, she thought. Far too involved, far too attracted, far too tempted.
Alex leaned in and pressed his mouth against hers, lingering a little longer this time, making her remember the way he'd kissed a path down her body the 302 night before. She tried to get closer to him, but she ran into the gearshift, reminding her that she was making out in a public parking lot.
She pushed Alex away with an embarrassed laugh. "Not like this," she said.
"Good point. There's a hotel room just a few feet away." There was a question in his eyes as he finished his sentence, a question she could easily answer.