Don't Tell Mother (11 page)

I guess, maybe I was starting to think this relationship thing wasn’t working. My family hated him, his friends stunk and gave me the creeps, and I liked meat. Why did I ever think this would work?

“No, that’s not why.” Running my fingers through my hair, I exhaled a sigh of resignation.

“Do you want to break up?”

Bob’s question sent a jolt of electricity through my spine. I knew I couldn’t mask the shock in my voice. “Do you?”

He shrugged. “How can we be together if we’re never ‘together’?”

I didn’t know the answer to that question. I liked him. I really did. He was funny, original, and Gawd, he was an awesome kisser. Did I really want to lose him?

I jerked at the abrupt sound of the truck door opening. “One more down,” Sparks rumbled. “AJ, you’re next.”

****

Well, we couldn’t exactly continue the break-up discussion with Sparks in the front seat, so it was off to my house. We only lived a few miles from Krysta, but the minutes ticked away like hours. Bob went back to his video game. No comfort from him as I approached my impending enslavement.

As Sparks pulled into the driveway, Mother was standing in front of the garage, arms folded across her chest, her brows drawn together in a continuous line.

I was in deep doo-doo.

How did she know I was coming? Sophie’s mom must have called her.

I looked at my future ex-BF one last time before opening the truck door. “Later, Bob.”

In the next second, I felt his warmth around me, surprised to find myself locked in a giant bear hug.

I wanted it to last forever. It wasn’t like Mother could get any more pissed off. Bob released me much too soon, and my gaze locked with his.

He smiled weakly. “Don’t let her get to you, AJ.”

“Okay,” I choked, afraid if I said any more, I’d launch into a big wimpy cry-fest.

Why was Bob so nice when I’d been avoiding him like the plague? How did I hook up with such a cool BF? And now he wanted to break up.

Cool air hit me as I stepped onto the pavement. Was it the night breeze or the cold wind blowing from Mother’s heart?

As I approached my principal and mother, I heard Sparks explaining the night’s events. “Don’t be too angry with her, Mrs. Dawson. Even though she should have come to me first, I believe she was trying to do the right thing.”

Eyes downcast, I stood next to my principal. I wasn’t afraid to look at her, really. I just didn’t feel like dealing with a major guilt trip. “I’ll just go to my room now.”

Why should she have all the fun of putting me on restriction when I could beat her to it? Stepping in between them, I was determined to lock myself in my room forever. Or at least until Grandma came back to stay. I needed a hug from her right now. She was the only member of my family who I thought really loved me.

Mother’s outstretched arm blocked my path.

Exhaling a frustrated breath, I looked at the intrusive object, my gaze traveling the length of her arm and up to her angry glare.

My breath hitched as I looked into her eyes. They didn’t look angry. They looked soft and sweet and kind of…motherly.

What had she been smoking?

In the next second, her arms were wrapped around me and she was crying.

Crying? My mother?

Her tears flowed fast as she sobbed into my hair, drenching my neck and squeezing me so hard I thought I’d burst. But I didn’t want her to let go.

Not ever.

And without thought, my pent-up emotions broke through the damn, welling in my chest. The tears poured down in sheets as I pressed my face to Mother’s chest, and all the pain, anger and rejection washed through me in waves.

From somewhere deep in the hollow of my consciousness, I heard the moans of a girl, realizing that girl was me. I was sobbing in my mother’s arms and I didn’t care who saw, my principal, my BF, even if my stupid brother was watching.

Mother was hugging me.

She loved me.

Chapter Eleven

What in the heck was wrong with me?

Sitting in a bathroom stall, wiping the remnants of tears from the corners of my eyes, I wondered just when exactly I became such a wussy girl. After my big cry-fest Friday night, Mother didn’t put me on restriction, but I didn’t ask to go out that weekend, either. Mother and I sat on the couch and watched movies all day Saturday and then we went to the mall after church.

We didn’t argue once.

Whatever had happened to make Mother like me, I wasn’t about to give it up. Which meant I’d have to make a few major sacrifices.

Starting with Bob.

Fresh tears threatened to burst from my eyes at the thought of breaking up with him, but what else could I do? We really didn’t have much of a relationship, anyway, other than talking on the computer and a few sneaky phone calls.

Bob deserved better. Someone whose mother actually liked him. Maybe a girl who also wore duct tape and dyed her hair strange colors. As odd as it sounded, I guess I just wasn’t strange enough to be Bob’s girlfriend.

The first bell sounded. Only five minutes until class.

Might as well get this over with.

My backpack felt like a lead-weight as I drug my feet toward first period. Today was going to be a very long day. The only thing I had to look forward to was pot roast tonight—Mother was making my favorite.

“Hey, AJ!”

Turning at the sound of Bob’s familiar voice, I saw him leaning against a puke-green locker, surrounded by a group of freaks.

They scattered like flies as I approached. Guess it didn’t matter anyway if they feared me. I didn’t need to worry about my BF’s friends anymore.

“Hey.” My voice faltered as I tried to paste a smile on my face.

One dark, questioning brow shot up. “House arrest all week?”

“No.” I shrugged.

“Then why didn’t we talk?”

Because I wanted to break-up with you in person.

I sighed, postponing the inevitable, and dragging out my torture. “I hung out with my mother this weekend.”

His voice lowered to a tender caress. “What’s up with you?”

Bob didn’t even get mad. Any other guy would’ve been laying on the attitude, but not him. I really didn’t deserve a BF like Bob.

“I…I think we should break-up.” The words rushed out in a tangled heap of emotions as I choked back the rising tide of tears.

I averted my gaze, focusing on the glaring duct tape patched over the knees of Bob’s weathered jeans. I couldn’t look into his tender eyes for fear of sobbing like a cheerleader who’d just broken a nail.

Get it together, AJ.

“Was it something I did?” Cupping my chin, he forced me to look into his soft, saddened eyes.

The feel of his fingers on my face was distracting, making me have second thoughts about dumping him. “No,” I exhaled, pulling away from his touch. “It’s my Mother.”

“Oh.” His lips turned down in the most adorable pout.

Why couldn’t he be a jerk? That would’ve made the break-up so much easier.

Squaring my shoulders, I was determined to make this a clean break. No second thoughts. After fourteen, long, miserable years, Mother finally liked me. “She’s nice to me now, and I don’t want to lose that.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

Swallowing a sob, I looked into Bob’s wounded expression. I’d done it. I’d broken off with Bob without making it a major ordeal. So why did I feel like a deflated balloon? “Do you hate me now?”

His lips curved into a slight smile. “I’ll never hate you.” Dipping his head toward mine, Bob brushed a tender kiss across my lips before turning and walking into the classroom.

A vortex of emotions threatened to swallow me into a bottomless pit. Placing a hand to my tingling mouth, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d made a huge mistake. I hadn’t even given our relationship a chance to bloom, and now I was letting this awesome guy go.

All for Mother.

I only hoped she continued to love me.

****

Heading into third period I’d tried to forget about the breakup, but I just couldn’t shake the feel of Bob’s kiss from my mind.

At least some good news helped in distracting my thoughts from Bob. Lowe was canned from coaching. Rumor was she’d spent the weekend in jail and only three second-string players were busted for drinking. The rest of the girls flaked on her party.

Maybe my team had finally seen that Lowe was a poser. Maybe they were cooler than I’d thought.

Sparks had already found a replacement coach; Coach Stanley was Coach Carter’s sister. Hopefully, she’d be as tough as Carter and we’d get back to a winning season.

Yeah, for once, my life didn’t suck.

Kind-of.

Throwing down my bookbag, I poured my weary body into the desk. I couldn’t be tired from lack of meat. Mother and I had gigantic hamburgers at the mall yesterday and she made me bacon and eggs for breakfast.

As images of Bob’s sad smile clouded my vision, I wondered if I was just suffering from post-break-up stress.

“What’s got you?”

I looked over at Sophie. A dark frown marred her brow. It wasn’t like my friend to look so upset.

“Nothing. What’s got you?”

“Don’t say anything,” she whispered through a hiss. “Your depression won’t stay out of my brain.”

“Oh, sorry.” One thing about my friend’s power was if someone nearby was extremely depressed or happy, their thoughts projected into Sophie’s head without warning.

Shoulders slumped, I exhaled the words. “I dumped him.”

“Why?” Her eyes softened.

I threw up my hands in surrender. “Mother was nice to me all weekend.”

Sophie’s jaw dropped and she looked at me like I’d just missed free throw. “She was?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I don’t want to give her a reason to hate me.”

“You think she’ll hate you because of Bob?”

“Yeah. He’s not normal.” But as the words came out, I didn’t feel like it was me saying it. I envisioned Mother’s scowl from across the dinner table as she eyed Bob with disgust.

Sophie pierced me with a glare. “You’re not normal, either.”

Looking around the classroom, I noticed the desks were filling with students, but they were too busy copying equations off the board to pay attention to us. “Yeah,” I breathed, “but I can hide my weirdness.”

“No,” Sophie stammered. “You can’t.”

Squaring my shoulders, I was determined to win this coin toss. My mother liked me now. The breakup was over, so why was she forcing me to relive the pain? “I just won’t
see things
around Mother.”

Sophie shook her head. “Have you forgotten break starts this weekend?”

“Break?”

“Yeah, your brother’s snowboarding trip.”

Oh, God, Mike!

How had I forgotten about my brother? I was being too damn selfish thinking about my own problems, that’s how. Mike and his best friend were supposed to go to Hell’s Peak this Saturday.

If I didn’t convince Mother to make him stay home, my brother would die, but how could I convince her when I knew she’d hate me for acting strange?

Mike hadn’t been teasing me as much lately. If I talked Mother out of letting him go, he’d make my life hell for sure.

Clenching my fists in grim determination, I psyched up for the toughest challenge of my life. Only this wasn’t a game. The winner loses her family’s love, but the loser forfeits his life.

Placing her hands to her head, Sophie moaned. “There go your thoughts again.”

****

My dark thoughts, shifting from Bob, to my mother, and then to Mike, consumed me for the rest of the day. Just this morning, I’d thought my life was getting better. No, I was just smack in the eye of the storm, thinking my troubles had blown over, but the worst was yet to come.

The only end in sight resulted in my mother hating me, which made my break-up with Bob even harder to take. Why the heck did I break-up with him? Besides Krysta and Sophie, he was the only good thing in my life.

Well, maybe basketball could be added to the positives.

I hoped.

I wasn’t off to a good start. First day with a new coach and already I was running behind, but my stupid locker wouldn’t open. Or maybe I was just too busy absorbed in my problems to remember the code.

Heading through the locker room door with my backpack slung over a shoulder, I breathed the heavy air of rotten sock stench, remembering how that smell was a source of comfort last year. Before my team sucked. Before I found out they partied without me.

“Nice of you to show up on time. You’re three minutes late!”

The gruff voice startled me. Looking at the frightened expressions in my teammates’ eyes, as they huddled in the rear of the locker room like frightened sheep cornered by a hungry predator, I realized I’d walked in on a major butt chewing.

“Listen up, ladies,” Coach Stanley bellowed from the center of the room. “I’ve been looking at the stats. Don’t know what the hell has been going on since my sister went on maternity leave.”

Uh-oh. This coach was mean. I liked her already. I decided to quickly take a seat with the team. If I stood behind the coach much longer, I was sure to be singled out.

“What I want to know is how does a championship team go from first to last in district?”

Her fiery glare swept the team, coming to rest on me. Of course…had to happen with my luck.

“You there, before I send you on laps for coming in late, maybe you can tell us why we suck!”

“It’s not her fault. She’s the only reason we score,” a girl squeaked from behind me.

As I turned toward the direction of her voice, my eyes had to do a double-take. Paige was actually defending me.

“I don’t remember asking you!” The coach raged.

“I know.” Paige’s voice cracked. “It’s just that AJ’s the only good player.”

“AJ, huh?” Stanley’s narrowed gaze swept me from top to bottom. “Aren’t you the captain?”

I shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah.”

“Well, then,” she smirked. “It is your fault. Why haven’t you been leading your team?”

“She has,” Keysha stammered from behind me. “The team wouldn’t listen.”

“It’s the captain’s job to make the team listen!” Stanley hollered.