Doomsday Brethren, Book 04: Entice Me at Twilight (33 page)

Duke pulled the tome from her grasp and slammed it shut. “You are
not
going in there. My mission is to keep you safe. Bram and the others will have to take care of Mathias.”

“They can’t enter that tomb without me, and they don’t know how to kill him. Be reasonable, Simon. You don’t want
to see me in danger, and I adore you for it. But you can only protect me from so much.”

That fact hurt like hell.

“Bram saw you with Mathias in his dream.”

“I remember.” She swallowed. “Maybe that’s simply destined to become reality.”

He hovered over her on the bed, faces inches apart, unable to deal with the thought of her in Mathias’s grip, in pain, hurting, dead. Anguish crashed over him. He wanted so badly to grab her, kiss her, make love to her.

She read the intent on his face and looked away. “I’d like to go to sleep now.”

Just like that, she shut him out again.

Panic zipped through Duke. He wanted to force her to look at him, force her to admit everything in her heart. But he was too on edge, and pushing her tonight would only be counterproductive.

“You must be tired,” she prompted him. “You haven’t slept in two days.”

He lay down beside her and put his arms around her, relieved when she didn’t resist. “Will you let me hold you?”

When she nodded, Duke placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Sleep.”

Felicia curled up with her pillow. Moments later, she dropped off. He wrapped his body around hers, quaking inside.

Felicia was brave enough to run into the tomb and face the danger—but so scared to tear down the walls between them. What would it take for her to have the same courage when sharing her emotions? She cared enough to make love with him, enough to issue a statement about her relationship with him in front of Mason. What was it going to take for her to admit that she loved him?

The following morning dawned blustery and gray. Simon herded Felicia out of bed and into a waiting pair of jeans. A big down coat followed, before he urged her to throw on her trainers.

She frowned, barely awake. “It’s not even seven o’clock in the morning. Where are we going?”

He thrust a cup of tea in her hands. “Will you trust me and come along?”

He was secretive, a bit edgy. But he’d never hurt her. How could she say no?

“All right. No hints?”

Duke took her hand with a grim expression and led her out of the room.

In front of the hotel, a horde of reporters awaited, loitering near the entrance, springing into action as soon as they appeared.

“Did Hurstgrove rape you?” shouted one.

“Did you lie about the abduction to set him free?”

“Do you have Stockholm syndrome?”

God, she was bloody tired of their questions. “No comment.”

She darted away from the scene, Simon holding her hand and running with her. They dashed into the waiting limousine and Felicia waited to hear his instructions to the driver, but he said nothing as the car pulled away.

“What is this about?” she demanded.

He swallowed. “You’ll see. Then we’ll talk.”

Minutes later, they wound down a series of familiar roads. Buildings thinned out. Wrought iron gates appeared, age-worn but strong, with horror she recognized the cemetery where her entire family was buried.

Felicia tensed. “Why are we here?”

“When was the last time you visited your sister?”

The day of her funeral. She’d arranged to have flowers laid at Deirdre’s grave regularly, but hadn’t found the fortitude to bring them herself.

“What does that have to do with anything? Take me back to the hotel!”

“When?”

“I’m not going out there. Mathias could—”

“Bram and Ice are meeting us for protection. Mathias won’t come near you.”

“It’s cold,” she blurted.

“I’ll keep you warm. But that isn’t your real objection.”

“Why are you doing this?” She cried out as he opened the car door and tugged on her hand. “Don’t … please.”

He clenched his jaw. “It goes against everything inside me to force you to do anything, but I want to help you. You need to face your fears. Deirdre died and you let part of yourself die with her. Or did it happen even before that?”

Fear struck down to her very core. Felicia dug in her heels, seeing Bram standing a hundred meters to her left. Ice hovered like a statue an equal distance to her right. Even if she ran, they’d catch her. Or, if he was hovering near, Mathias would.

“Is this your way of making me vulnerable to you, to rip me wide open? I-I won’t. God, don’t make me.”

“Yes, I want you to open up to me, love me. But do you think I’d hurt you voluntarily to get my way?”

No, but saying that was like giving him permission to unravel her past and shove it in her face.

“I’m sorry you think that.” He clenched his jaw, eyes looking suspiciously glossy. “I love you, and I wish like hell you could believe me—and yourself—and trust that I’m doing this for you so you can find peace. And eventually feel
free enough to love.”

She grabbed Simon, her gaze imploring. “Please. If I see her grave now, it will be as if she died all over again. I can’t face that.”

“Did you ever really accept her death? I’m not certain you moved past anger—at Alexei, at your parents. Were you angry with her as well? I think you were and you used your rage to close yourself off.”

Felicia shrank away from him. He’d seen her too clearly and stripped her bare, down to her soul. That fact perversely pleased and terrified her. “Please, don’t.”

The wind whipped through Simon’s hair, and he hesitated. She prayed he would let this go, understand that if she completely accepted Deirdre’s death, she’d have to admit that, Simon aside, she truly had no one.

“I’m sorry. But regardless of what happens between us, you need to put her to rest and heal. You’ll never be whole until you do.”

With that, he picked her up and carried her, crying and fighting, to Deirdre’s grave. Felicia buried her face in Simon’s neck, squeezed her eyes shut. He pried her away from him and set her down, then spun her around.

“Stop. Face her. You loved her in life. Why have you abandoned her now?”

The sight of her tombstone beside her parents’, all decorated with the smatterings of the dried wreaths she’d had laid at Christmas, stared her in the face. Fading red ribbons flapped in the breeze. Leaves blew across the cold earth. The sight was a blow to her stomach, a rending of her heart. Years of fear and loneliness rushed over her, a tidal wave of emotion she couldn’t hide from.

“Abandon
her
?” Felicia screamed. “She abandoned
me
. They all did! My birth parents gave me away. My adoptive
parents left me to nannies and servants.”

“Your birth parents gave you up to save your life. Your adoptive parents were shallow and incapable of love. That’s not a reflection of you or your worth. Despite them, you have a huge heart. Let it heal.”

She shook her head as tears streamed down her wind-chilled face. “Deirdre was the one person I let myself love. After Alexei crushed her, I would have continued holding her hand, helped her through anything. But she left me alone. Sh-she didn’t even say good-bye.”

God, Felicia couldn’t breathe. The pain was like a tsunami, growing and growing, then pulling her under until she was drowning in misery, loneliness, anguish. Glaring at Deirdre’s headstone, she dropped to her knees. “Why the hell did you leave me like that? You never even said good-bye! No note, no …”

She dissolved into sobs.

Then Simon’s arms came around her, lifting her to her feet. He felt warm. He was a life preserver in a raging sea. “Shh. Deirdre didn’t leave
you
; she left the pain. All that you’re going through now? She
ran
from it. You’re stronger. You
will
overcome it. Once you have, you can accept, open yourself to love. Be happy. You could have been her anchor, but she shut everyone out. Don’t make her mistake. I’ll help you. Please let me.”

He was right. She clutched her middle, not sure if she had the strength to reach out for him.

The realization only made her cry harder.

To take the leap of faith he proposed, she’d have to cross a chasm of black terror. She’d have to invest totally in someone else again. She felt nowhere near ready … but Simon had burrowed into her heart. Even with her guard up, she’d come to
need
him. Now, without him, Felicia feared she’d wither,
die. What the hell was she going to do?

Back in the limousine, Duke sank into the buttery leather seats beside Felicia. She was quiet, eerily so, her face pale and shell-shocked. Biting back a curse, he wondered if he’d pushed too hard, too fast. But Felicia needed to deal with her demons so she could heal. And yes, some selfish corner of his heart had done it with the hope they could have a future.

Now, it was all in her hands. As much as he wanted to wrap her in his embrace again and keep encouraging her to open up, he couldn’t push her more. She’d fought against this moment for years. Grief wasn’t like a light switch a person could turn off at will.

He stared at the privacy glass. “I didn’t take you there to hurt you.”

Slowly, she nodded. “You’re right. I couldn’t love Mason as more than a friend because of my fear. I’ve hurt him terribly. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me. I know you think he will, but …” She shrugged, then turned glassy blue eyes on him. Tears trembled on her dark lashes. “I don’t want to hurt you as I’ve hurt him. I … I can’t shut off my feelings for you in the same way. It’s frightening.”

A fist squeezed Duke’s heart. It was the closest thing to an attachment that she’d admitted. “Then don’t.”

Felicia turned quiet, pensive. “For all we’ve been through, I’ve spent a mere four days with you. I-I … need your patience.”

“Sunshine, I’ll give you whatever you need. I want you to be whole and happy, no matter what you do.”

The tears shimmering at the edge of her lashes fell. “I’ve been such a bother to you. Dragging me from danger, dealing with my woes. I don’t deserve you.”

He smiled gently and teased, “Well, there’s something you can strive for.”

She leaned forward slowly, slowly, eyes fluttering closed, lips gently parted. Everything inside him leapt to roaring life. As always, Duke hungered to get her under him, soft and willing. But now he wanted to see the love shining through her eyes and feel the complete acceptance in her body. Soon, he promised himself.

As he laid his mouth over hers, they shared a solemn moment, a breath. His heart filled with love, nearly burst.

Then his phone rang. He yanked it from his pocket and stared at the display.
Bram
.

“What?” Duke barked.

“It’s Tynan.” Bram’s voice sounded strained.

Duke leapt to instant attention, breath held. “Tell me.”

“We opened Kari’s pub this morning and …” Bram paused, sighed. “Fuck. We found his body. Mathias tortured him. I’ve never seen anything so terrible. He was gutted alive, most of his body burned. He must have suffered … unimaginably.”

Sick finality slid through Duke. This was their worst fear come true.
Dear God
…

Beside him, Felicia gasped. She’d overheard, damn it. Bram was scaring the hell out of her. But maybe knowing the worst of magickind’s danger would convince her that she didn’t belong anywhere near Morganna’s tomb.

He clutched the phone. “Bloody hell, how did we let this happen?”

“We tried to stop Tynan from going to Mathias. The dumb fucking wanker insisted.” Bram sighed again, sounding so tired. “Since Shock took him to Mathias and did nothing to prevent Tynan’s death, I guess this tells us where his loyalties truly lie.”

Duke had suspected the truth for a long time. To be proven right only made him more angry. “I vote we kill the son of a bitch.”

“Amen. Tynan’s death throws the Council in another bloody mess, too.”

Indeed. With Tynan gone, the Doomsday Brethren had lost a great deal of influence on the magical Council. Now instead of needing just one vote—that of Sterling MacTavish, Lucan’s and Caden’s uncle—to swing the Council their way, they’d need two. Since Tynan had died without heirs, no telling who would replace him or how Mathias-friendly that wizard would be. Damn! The last thing magickind needed now was more turmoil.

“I think you and Felicia should join us, stay somewhere near Kari’s pub,” Bram said. “My house is nearly rebuilt. I’ve had people working day and night. We must regroup. Safety in numbers. Felicia can distance herself from the others enough so that she doesn’t interfere with our magical security. We’ll reinforce her protection with manned watches.” He sighed. “This game you’re playing with Mathias … we’re down a warrior, and Mathias is beginning to show us what he’s truly capable of. The danger is greater than ever.”

Indeed. “We’ll be there soon.”

“Until then, be careful. I don’t have to tell you how bad it would be for us all if Mathias got his hands on Felicia.”

The mere suggestion made his heart stop and fear burn through his veins. Bram’s dream, the one where Mathias captured her, came back to him in a rush. Duke broke out in a cold sweat.

Moments later, heart and mind heavy, he rang off. He looked over at Felicia and saw her trembling. Her eyes filled with tears. Desperate to comfort her, Duke opened his mouth to assure her that she’d never suffer as Tynan had, then he closed it. That was one promise he couldn’t make, no matter how badly he wanted to.

“I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe from Mathias.”

“I know.”

Silently, Duke wondered if it would be enough. He closed his eyes, certain Felicia wondered it, too.

In the somber silence, his phone rang again. He looked at the display. Mason. Duke hesitated. Now wasn’t the time to deal with his brother and the drama of jealousy.

“Let me answer it.” She swallowed. “In my heart, he’s still my friend. I need to tell him how sorry I am that—”

That what, she wanted to continue to lean on Mason as a crutch? Damn. “Answer it.”

Felicia grabbed the phone and pressed the answer button. “Mason, I’m glad you called. I—”

“Not Mason, dear.” A deep velvety voice purred in her ear. “Mathias. Mason is with me. You and I haven’t met yet, but we will. If you want your fiancé and your lover’s brother back alive, you know what I want. Bring the Book of Doomsday and come to the tomb tonight.”