Doppelganger (40 page)

"You must do it, though," Koika put in. "This task has been given to you. It is your responsibility to fulfill it."

Miryo could already see what they were doing. Next it would be Shimi. And, right on time, the Air Prime spoke up. "There are no other options. None. We have searched for them, through the centuries, and found none. Misetsu established the pattern for us, and we must continue to follow it if we wish to survive."

And then, of course, came Arinei, giving her the final exhortation. "This is all that remains between you and the power that is your birthright. All you need do is reach forth and take it. Then you will be a witch—as you have strived to be, all these years! That dream will be yours!"

Empathy, resolution, reasoning, and a grand vision to round it off. All nicely matched to their Elemental roles
. Miryo hoped the cynicism she felt didn't show in her eyes. It would make them very unhappy.

Of course, so would what she was about to say. "So you say. But I'd still like the chance to investigate it myself, before I go kill a part of me."

"Your doppelganger is no part of you. It was separated out in infancy for a reason."

"What reason, Shimi-kane? That's one of the things I wonder about. And I'm afraid I can't quite agree that she's no part of me." No visible reaction when she called Mirage "she," but Miryo knew they'd noticed. "You see, I've met her. I've looked her in the eye. And that's something none of you can understand. You've not been there, looking at your own reflection made flesh."

"Wrong," Satomi said.

The word brought Miryo's head snapping around to face the Void Prime. It broke the tenor of their little speeches so far. Satomi wasn't speaking from a script now; she was talking to Miryo directly.

"What?" Miryo said.

"I have been there. I looked my doppelganger in the eye. And I hesitated. For an entire day I talked to her, and I questioned everything exactly the way you have. But in the end, I chose to complete my task. Will you hear why?"

The floor had dropped out from under Miryo's feet. Satomi's doppelganger had survived? How? Presumably the way Mirage had, of course, but… Miryo tried to envision it—the Void Prime, twenty-five and idealistic, looking for a way out. And then accepting that there wasn't one, and killing her double.

"Yes," Miryo managed to get out. And then a belated, "Aken."

Satomi closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, they were as cold as ice.

"Centuries ago," she began, "in the days when the land was still joined into three great kingdoms, a woman dwelt in the southern mountains. She was a hermit, and a devotee of the Goddess in all her Aspects. Despite her young age, she was known for her faith, and her love of the Lady who watches over us all."

Misetsu, obviously. Miryo knew the story. But she kept her mouth shut; no sum of money would have persuaded her to interrupt Satomi right now.

"One evening, as the stars were beginning to emerge, this woman climbed to the top of a crag and stood there, singing praises to the Goddess. And such was the joy and devotion in her heart that her song changed, and became something more. And she saw that around her the starlight had begun to grow; it filled the air, and formed into threads, and began to dance around her.

"She stood there the whole night through, singing. When the dawn rose, she sang one final praise, and then fell asleep, there on the rock where she had stood. In the evening she awoke, and the gift of magic was strong inside her, and the Goddess had given her the name of Misetsu. In the weeks and months and years that followed she continued to hear the Goddess's voice in her heart, and thus created the first spells and enchantments."

Now Satomi's voice changed, and Miryo realized the story was diverging from the one she had always been told. "She had daughters, three of them. And the Goddess showed her how to pass her gift on. One by one, as her daughters were born, she sang the spells over them. And she found, to her surprise, that as she did so, each child became two. This puzzled her, but she chose to raise all of them as her own."

Goddess, I wish Mirage were here to hear this. Wait
—
no, I don't. I'm not sure what the Primes would do to her
. "Twenty-five years later," Satomi continued, "she began to discover her error. For the time had come for her eldest daughter, Monisuko, to wield her magic."
Monisuko? I thought her name was Menukyo
.

"To Misetsu's horror, her daughter's magic raged out of control. And before long, it slew both her and her double. Misetsu grieved, but attributed the disaster to imperfect faith. Her next daughter, Machayu, would do better."

Machayu. Still no Menukyo. But I bet I'm going to hear how they ended up deciding to. kill the doppelgangers.

"Machayu also died, and her double with her," Satomi said. Miryo wasn't surprised. "But Misetsu did not give up. She prayed tirelessly, and sought a way to make it possible for others to wield magic, so the gift would not end with her. It was after Maiyaki, her third daughter, died, along with her double, that she found the solution. With the death of the doppelgangers, magic became stable. Misetsu, now aged and weary, lived just long enough to see Monisuko's eldest daughter, Menukyo, become a full witch."

She paused to give Miryo a searching look. Miryo stood still and tried to show no expression.
And there's Menukyo. Not the eldest daughter. The eldest granddaughter.

When Satomi did not speak again right away, Miryo risked a question. "But why must the doppelgangers be killed? What did Misetsu learn that made her think that was the only way?"

Satomi gave her a brief smile, but there was no humor in it. The Void Prime's eyes were hard and flat, as if holding emotion down by will alone. "When I was sent after my doppelganger, the answer to that question was given to me before I left. I felt, based on my own experience, that it would be better if those after me did not know. It seemed kinder. But I question my decision, now. It is my dearest hope that I will never again be required to send one of our own on this task, but I will advise those who come after me to tell those sent. It is imperative that our young witches understand why they must kill their doppelgangers."

Miryo stilled her hands and waited, motionless, for her answer.

"The answer we give comes to us from Misetsu, from her last writings before her death. 'The doppelganger is anathema to us. It is destruction and oblivion, the undoing of all magic. It is the ruin of our work, and the bane of our being. It and our magic will never coexist, and its presence threatens all that our powers can do.' So wrote Misetsu, five days before she died."

Silence. Tension. Miryo suddenly blinked, and forced air back into her lungs.

Merciful Mother. I thought—I mean, there was obviously trouble, but—

"The doppelgangers are a danger to us
all
," Satomi said. "That is why we must kill them. If we do not, all that we are will be destroyed." Her expression was grave, and only now did Miryo see something human in her eyes, too deep to be identified. "Do you understand?"

"I do," Miryo managed. Her voice was little more than a strangled whisper.

"We will give you another chance," the Void Prime said. "You see, now, why you must kill your doppelganger. For your sake, for the sake of us all, do it without delay, and return to us. If you do not, we will take steps, for our own protection."

In her mind's eye Miryo saw Mirage, but the image had subtly changed. Mirage. Not just a part of herself, but a danger. Carrying in herself the seeds of destruction for Starfall. It was a part of what she was. Could that ever be fixed?

Goddess. This choice
—
Mirage, or all that I've held dear
—

"I understand, Aken," Miryo whispered. She felt dead inside. "May I be excused?"

Satomi nodded. "May the Goddess walk with you."

Perversely, Miryo found her way back to her inn without difficulty. She paid no attention to where she was headed, but within a few minutes of leaving the Primes she looked up and found herself in front of the Twin Hearths.

Her feet felt like lead as she walked in. She had a private room on the third floor, with a sitting room and a bedroom; the sitting room had a fireplace. Miryo doubted any fire could melt the ice in her gut, but she craved the warmth. So she forced herself up the stairs, one step at a time, eyes on her feet, and focused only on that fire.

"Are you all right?"

Miryo looked up. She had just entered the sitting room. Mirage was on her feet by the fireplace, giving her a look of clear worry. Miryo shut the door with exaggerated care and said, "Yes. Mostly. The Primes were there."

"The
Primes
?" Mirage led her to one of the chairs and got her to sit down. "Here?"

"Yes. Or I thought so; they were probably just projections." She hadn't even thought to check for spells. But would it have mattered? "Satomi—the Void Prime—she had to kill her doppelganger when she was my age. And Menukyo wasn't the eldest daughter; she was the eldest granddaughter. Misetsu watched all three of her daughters die, because of their doppelgangers, before she figured out what was wrong."

Miryo got to her feet, and was surprised to find she was steady on them. She walked a few steps away, into the middle of the room. She couldn't bring herself to turn and look at Mirage. "They've looked. Truly, they have. And they finally told me why. You—" She looked at the ceiling and swallowed painfully. "Doppelgangers are the antithesis of magic. Your very existence puts all magic in danger. That's why you have to be killed."