Double Cross (8 page)

'The boy was still someone's son, someone's friend.'

'When you've been at this as long as me, you'll realize that
all these Nought deaths are strictly N.H.I.,' said the woman.

'What does that mean?'

'No humans involved,' the woman replied. 'As long as
it's blankers killing blankers, who cares?'

I turned the corner then. A middle-aged Cross copper
was setting out cones to cordon off the road. Her younger
Cross colleague looked at me, then away. It was one of
those moments. They knew I'd heard them. I knew they
knew. I carried on walking. N.H.I.? Was that what I was
to them? Was that all I was? Something inside me began
to uncoil – like something deep inside, asleep inside, was
beginning to wake. I stopped walking, closed my eyes and
took several long, deep breaths. Whatever had been stirring
inside me settled and remained still.

It was better that way. Safer.

'Tobey, d'you think we'll ever get away from here?'
asked Callie.

'I guarantee it,' I replied sombrely.

We reached my house first. I opened the door, bundled
Callie inside and closed it firmly behind me.

'How can you be so sure?' asked Callie.

'Because there's no way I'm going to spend the rest of
my life around here. And neither are you.'

Callie sighed. 'I wish I had your confidence.'

'I'm getting out of here, Callie. Just watch me,' I told
her.

And I'm taking you with me.

I loved walking to school with Tobey. He always made me
laugh – when he wasn't in one of his quiet moods. And
the morning was so light and bright, a promise of the day
to come. The sunlight glinting on Tobey's dark-brown
hair made it seem like he had occasional red highlights in
it. Tobey's mum's hair was red so I suppose it was only
natural that he would inherit some of her colouring. His
hair used to fall in unruly waves almost to his shoulders,
but at the beginning of our current school term he'd had
it cut as short as I'd ever seen it. It was only two or three
centimetres long now, if that, but it suited him. Made him
seem older somehow. And now that his hair was shorter,
it looked darker, to match his eyes. Tobey's eyes were the
colour of strong coffee. But when he was angry, they grew
so dark it was hard to tell where his irises ended and his
pupils began. Not that there was much on this planet that
could anger Tobey. He was Mr Sanguine. Tobey caught
me looking at him. He smiled. I smiled back. Then I
noticed something about him that hadn't registered before.

'Tobey, what's that on your chin?' I moved closer for a
better look.

'It's my goatee. What d'you think?'

'That's your attempt at growing a beard?'

'A goatee.'

I shook my head. 'Tobey, I've seen more fuzz on a kiwi
fruit. Lose it. It looks crap.'

'Thanks,' Tobey said sourly.

'If your best friend can't tell you the truth, then who
can?' I asked. 'You look like you haven't washed your face
this morning.'

'Thanks.'

I sniffed at his chin. He pulled back like he thought I was
going to bite him or something. He should be so lucky!

'You smell reasonable, though,' I told him. 'Did you
finally discover the meaning of life, the universe and soap?'

'You're real funny, Callie,' Tobey told me, his tone
implying the exact opposite.

I smiled. 'You love me really.'

He reluctantly smiled back. 'Yeah, I adore you. Bitch!'

We both creased up laughing. Sometimes Tobey took
himself a bit too seriously. And his attempt at a goatee
really was wretched. We were having a good laugh, but
were less than a minute away from school when all that
changed. Tobey saw them before I did. I was too busy
giggling at one of Tobey's silly observations about his
sister's ex-boyfriend to see straight. But Tobey's accompanying
laughter died on his lips and his eyes took on a hard
yet wary look. I followed the direction of his gaze.

Lucas and three of his mates were standing on the steps
of the school entrance, sharing a joke. I glanced between
Lucas and Tobey and instantly smelled trouble. Lucas and
his friends were weaving about like they didn't have a care
in the world. Until Lucas spotted us. He said a few words
to his crew, his eyes never leaving mine, and the laughter
instantly stopped. I was too far away to hear what he said,
but it had the desired effect. Lucas's friends all turned to
face us, all trace of humour now gone. Tobey and I didn't
alter our pace, didn't speed up, didn't slow down. Even
though Tobey didn't say a word, I could sense the sudden
tension in him.

I didn't understand Lucas. When he was on his own he
was fine towards me. He acted like he still wanted us to be
together. But when he was with his friends, it was a
different story. The way they watched me and Tobey
made me feel distinctly uneasy.

I broke up with Lucas soon after Nana Jasmine died. I
couldn't cope with her death and Lucas as well. Being
with Tobey was easy in a way that being with Lucas was
not. It felt like Lucas was with me in spite of what I was,
whereas Tobey couldn't care less that my dad was a
Nought and my mum is a Cross. Between Lucas and
me, silence was a high thorny hedge, something to be
painfully overcome. But when I was with Tobey, silence
embraced the two of us, pushing us together instead of
driving us apart.

At first Lucas had tried to be understanding. But when
I started hanging around with Tobey instead of him, our
relationship changed. He was never overtly antagonistic, it
wasn't that. But something about him made me . . . wary.
I think if I'd been a dog, I would've held still and growled
beneath my breath whenever he approached. Mum had
told me that there were far more Noughts at Heathcroft
School now than there ever were in her day, which was
part of the reason she was happy for me to go there. And
none of my friends were chosen according to their postcode
or their skin colour, but I'd never seen Lucas hang
out with anyone but Crosses. I guess his parents had had
more of an influence over him and his thinking than either
of us realized.

Steeling myself, I deliberately took hold of Tobey's
hand. He instantly tried to pull away, but my grip on his
hand tightened. I glared at him. He got the message and
his hand faux relaxed into mine. Good thing too, or I'd
never have spoken to him again. If Lucas and his friends
wanted something to stare at then I was more than happy
to provide it.

Tobey and I reached them. No one said a word.

'Morning, Callie,' Lucas said softly.

'Lucas,' I said, frost coating each syllable of his name. I
didn't appreciate his intimidatory tactics. Not. One. Little.
Bit.

'Is this "lead-a-blanker-to-school day" then?' asked
Drew.

Tobey spun round to face him, pulling his hand from
mine. 'Sod off, Drew,' he hissed, his hands clenched at
his side.

So much for Tobey being Mr Sanguine! I was about to
launch in with a few choice words of my own, but Lucas
beat me to it.

'Drew, apologize,' Lucas ordered.

Drew looked at his friend like he'd lost his mind. And
he wasn't the only one. I risked a swift glance at Lucas
before turning my hostile glare back to the moron beside
him.

'Say sorry to Durbrain?' Drew regarded Tobey with
utter contempt. 'That'll be the day.'

Tobey took a step forward, as did Drew. Aaron, Yemi
and Lucas moved to back up their mate. I pushed through
to stand beside Tobey. He tried to step in front of me, but
I sidestepped to stand beside him again. I stood with one
leg slightly behind the other, taking up a strong, balanced
stance, my arms at my sides, my hands poised. Thanks to
Uncle Jude and his training programme for new recruits,
I knew how to kick arse and take no prisoners – as Lucas
and his cronies were about to find out. I assessed Aaron
as the strongest of the group. He'd be the one to take out
first.

'You should remember what side you belong to,' Drew
told me through narrowed eyes.

'Oh, I do,' I said softly. 'And it'll always be the opposite
side to you.'

'Like mother like daughter,' sneered Drew.

'What does that mean?' I asked.

'She had a thing for blankers too, didn't she?'

I was more than ready to slap Drew into a new postcode.
All my previous training forgotten, I moved
forward, but Tobey stepped in front of me again and Lucas
moved in front of Drew. It didn't matter. Drew now had
my full attention.

We were being given a wide berth by those arriving at
school after us, but I was hardly aware of them. It was all
about to kick off. And then Tobey, of all people, surprised
the hell out of me.

'I'm not going to fight you, Lucas,' he said quietly. 'I'm
not going to fight any of you. That's not what I come to
school for.'

I watched in dismayed amazement as he slowly
unclenched his fists.

'What's the matter, Durbrain?' Drew taunted.
'Chicken?'

'You must believe what you want to believe.' Tobey
shrugged. 'Come on, Callie. Let's go inside.'

Tobey tried to take me by the arm, but I shrugged away
from him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Aaron
and the others grinning disdainfully at Tobey, as if he was
somewhere beneath contempt. And the studied calm I'd
felt before burned away like dry paper on a bonfire. How
could Tobey back down like that?

'Callie, it must be a comfort to know that Tobey
Durbridge has your back,' Lucas scoffed.

I spun to face him. 'Lucas, why don't you—?'

'What is going on here?' Mrs Paxton's voice was like an
icy deluge as the head emerged from the school building.
She moved to stand to the side of all of us, and cast her
trained eye over our still tension-filled bodies.

'Aaron, what's going on?'

'Nothing, Mrs Paxton,' Aaron mumbled, shuffling
back, away from Tobey and me.

Mrs Paxton gave him a withering look before turning
her attention to me and Tobey.

'Tobey?' she ordered.

Tobey looked her straight in the eye. 'Like Aaron said,
there's nothing going on, Mrs Paxton.'

Mrs Paxton's lips tightened. 'All of you, go to your
form rooms. At once.'

She stood aside as we trooped past her in silence. Tobey
and I followed the others into school. I was still trying to
work out who I was more angry at – Lucas and his friends
or Tobey?

'Why did you pull away from me?' Callie glared at me.

'What?'

'You heard.'

Well, that didn't take long. I glanced at my watch.
Twenty-seven seconds into the building. I had hoped
Callie would save it until we left school or, better still, till
we got home. No such luck.

'It's very hard to defend the two of us with you holding
one of my hands,' I told her.

'I don't need defending. I can look after myself,' Callie
told me. 'And why did you back down? I wouldn't've
given those gits the satisfaction.'

I shrugged. If I took on every prodigious arsehole who
looked at me sideways, I'd spend my entire life with my
fists clenched. I wasn't about to live like that, believing
everyone was my enemy, getting my licks in first before
others could touch me. That just wasn't me.

'Maybe you shouldn't be so combative,' I suggested.

The look Callie gave me would've speared right
through to my vitals if I hadn't been wearing my kevlar
underwear.

'Maybe you shouldn't let people walk all over you,'
Callie countered.

'No one walks all over me, Callie,' I told her quietly.

The look on her face told me what she thought of that.

'There ain't one person who walks all over me,' I
insisted.

Except maybe you, I added in my head.

Except probably you.

Except definitely you.

We continued to our lockers and unpacked our books
for our first lesson in silence.

'I don't understand why you let them talk to you like
that.' Callie shook her head.

I shrugged. 'Just because they're stupid as mud doesn't
mean that I have to be.'

Callie glared at me. 'Tobey, when you throw me one of
your infuriating "I'm-too-cool-for-this-earth" shrugs, I just
want to kick your shins. Would you like me to teach you
how to stand up for yourself ? Because I'm volunteering.'

'I'm a pacifist.'

'Are you sure you don't mean another three-syllable
word beginning with P?'

It took me a couple of seconds to work out what she
meant.

'So I'm pathetic now, am I?'

'Tobey, what would it take for you to rise up from your
laid-back, as in totally horizontal, position?' Callie was
getting angrier by the second. The only way she was going
to calm down was if I didn't take her seriously.

'As the Good Book says, "The meek shall inherit the
Earth",' I told her, adding with a wry smile, 'With your
permission, of course.'

'Tobey, it's not funny!'

My smile grew broader.

'Ugggh! Sometimes you drive me corkscrew crazy.'
Callie raised her voice, causing some of those passing us to
glance our way, curiosity written large across their faces.
'Don't you realize that by backing down you made that lot
think that you're weak?'

'And why should I care what Lucas and his minions
think of me?' I asked.

Plus I wasn't about to get kicked out of school for
fighting. Mrs Paxton didn't put up with that from anyone,
Nought or Cross. Getting booted out wasn't part of my
five-year plan.

'You care too much about what other people think of
you,' I said.

Callie's eyes carried enough mean heat to fry me where
I stood. 'Don't you dare say that. I couldn't give a damn
what Lucas and his cronies think of me. But I do care
about being able to look at myself in the mirror.'

'Are you implying that I can't?'

Callie shook her head and returned to her locker.

'D'you think I'm weak, Callie?' I asked, no hint of a
smile on my face.

Callie studied me. I wondered what she saw.

'Tell me the truth, Callie. D'you think I'm weak?'

Her answer mattered to me. Very much.

'D'you want me to be honest?' Callie asked at last.

Uh-oh! Whenever she asked that question it was
because she knew I wouldn't like the answer. I nodded.

'Tobey, sometimes you look at me like you would stand
beside me though any kind of rain, fire or shit storm. But
sometimes, like today, I get the opposite feeling. Would
the real Tobey Durbridge please stand up?'

'Is that a yes or a no?' I asked. Callie's words had
scooped out a large part of my innards.
I shut my locker door and waited for her to answer.
She always did that. When it was something she didn't
want to say or she thought I wouldn't want to hear,
she danced around her answer until I pushed. And I was
pushing.

'Tobey, what would you do if someone said something
derogatory about . . . us? The two of us? Together?'

Callie's face was turned up towards mine, the question
mark in her head darkening her eyes and straightening her
lips. What was it she wanted to hear?

'Callie, I'm not about to take on every brainless git who
doesn't like the idea of the two of us together. People can
say what they like.'

'I see,' she said. She turned away, but not before I saw
the disappointment on her face. She muttered something.
All I heard was the word 'together'. I took hold of her arm
and turned her round to face me.

'Callie, what d'you want me to do? Punch out every
idiot we come across?'

'No. But it'd be nice to know you've got my back.'

'I do. Don't listen to Lucas.'

Callie opened her mouth to argue just as the buzzer for
assembly sounded. The harsh cacophony silenced whatever
it was that she had been about to say.

'Callie Rose, I do have your back. You believe me,
don't you?'

'Callie, there you are. You'll never guess what I just
heard . . .' Samantha Eccles – or Sammi, as everyone called
her – appeared from nowhere to link arms with Callie and
drag her away.

A couple of metres further down the corridor Callie
said something to Sammi, before turning back to me.

'Tobey, d'you want me to answer your question?' she
asked.

I nodded. Did she really think I was weak? I was about
to find out.

'The honest answer is – the jury is still out.'

She and Sammi carried on walking.

I didn't need to switch to genius mode to know that in
spite of my best efforts, I'd messed up.