Down 'N' Derby (15 page)

             
“I’m sorry.  That was so good.  I can’t believe I’ve been denying myself that.”

             
She laughed and winked at me.  “It’s great.  I feel all privileged for changing your mind about it.  It’s like I scored a point for pizzas everywhere.”

             
The conversation moved back to her.  I also explained that Nixon had left and why he left.  And before I knew it, we were being asked to vacate by the waiter.  I wasn’t ready to let her go yet but also didn’t want to be creepy by asking for more time.  I walked her to her car and the plague of who I was consumed me.  I couldn’t hold her hand.  I couldn’t tower over her and be the audience to the look in her eyes turning from want to need.  There would be no question about first date kisses.  I cleared the self-hate out of my throat and thanked her for the night.  She looked mildly confused but bid her goodbyes and left. 

             
She deserved a guy who could be with her without hang-ups.

             
I got in Nixon’s Rover and called him on the way home.  I powered up my phone the night before after bringing Nixon to the airport.  There were so many missed texts and calls.  I didn’t even bother to look.  I just cleared them all out and moved on.  I pursued Einer but no one answered the door at the dilapidated apartment.  I left a note with my name and phone number but hadn’t received a call back. 

             
Nixon answered on the second ring.  But instantly told me he had to go but before he hung up, I heard Uncle Winston yelling at him.  I was sure that as soon as my family found out he was back he would be assaulted with questions. 

             
I couldn’t help but think about her as she walked into the restaurant.  I tried to sling my arm over the bench and act like I didn’t know the second she entered the place.  I hid the fact that a wave of need flowed through me, head to toes, when she came into view.  She was casual, jeans and a t shirt—but they fit her curves like glue.  And when we walked out I saw red lace underneath her thin shirt and my skin tingled not in nervousness but in desire. 

             
I laid in the hotel bed a while later flipping channels and finding nothing.  My phone beeped and I jumped a little.  I used to hear that beep nearly twenty four hours a day and now it scared me. 

             
I slid my thumb across the bar and was surprised to see Storey’s name on the screen.  She had texted me. 

             
Had fun tonight.  Thought I would have to bribe you into eating pizza.  How do you feel about Malibu?

             
I leaned back and hit my head against the headboard in relief.  Maybe I wasn’t as bad as I thought. 

             
Bribe? Details needed.  Have no feelings about Malibu.  Never been there.

             
She answered a few minutes later.

             
I have a shoot there tomorrow.  Have to work for an hour or two but then I’m free.  You game?

             
Watching her do her modeling thing on the beach?  Hell yeah, I was in.

             
Def.  Give me a time and where you want me to meet you.

             
She texted me back and I had to be ready for six the next morning.  She would pick me up since she already knew the way.  It would be odd to be picked up by a girl but, again, nothing followed the rules with her.  I showered and toweled off.  I stood in front of the mirror and wiped away the steam with my hand.  And for the first time in a long time I didn’t see Maddox the orphan, the misplaced.  I had a chance, here, to be something new.

~~~~~~~~~~~

             
She arrived a few minutes earlier than six but I was ready.  I’d been up since four a.m., unable to sleep anymore.  I was anxious to see her again and I was never anxious for a date.  I laughed as I got into her car.  She was dressed in a pair of shorts that looked like they used to be a pair of baggy sweatpants.  She wore a pink t shirt that if possible was thinner than the one she wore last night.  Her rich brown hair was tangled up in some kind of nest and she wore no make-up.  I imagined this must be similar to what she looked like first thing in the morning and what lucky bastard wouldn’t want to be audience to that?

             
“What?  I wasn’t gonna get all dressed up so they can strip me down and start over.  Besides, it’s too early for that.”

             
I laughed and put my palms up after taking my seat next to her.  “Hey, no protest here.  Anyway, I want to be witness to them making you look better.  ‘Cause from where I’m sitting, can’t be done.”

             
She blushed and the red bloom made her warm brown eyes sparkle.  She ran her bottom lip through her teeth and when it emerged it was slightly plumped and one shade pinker than her other lip.  If ever I could touch her, I would pay homage to that lip first. Take it slowly between my own until she whimpered for more.  And when my eyes returned to hers a shot of heat coursed through my chest as they were not on my own but on my lips.  And what I saw in them mirrored my thoughts.  But that couldn’t happen—so I tried to stop it before I ruined this before it started.

             
“Are we gonna be late?” I asked.  She looked around, reacquainting herself with reality and nodded.  I looked out of the window and smiled to myself. 
Maybe there’s a chance…

             
It took about an hour to get to Malibu and I knew one thing from the ride over.  There were way too many people in Los Angeles.  It was like a rampage of pissed off ants.  We didn’t talk a lot on the way but I loved to watch her drive.  In this traffic with all of these crazed people I would have both hands on the wheel hugging it like a granny driving on a Louisiana swamp road at night.  But she just sat back in her seat, one hand, yes, one hand on the bottom of the steering wheel—chill as all get out.  Her other hand beat against her thigh in some rhythm playing out in her head. 

             
“What’s the song?” I gestured to her drumming fingers.

             
“Oh, um, Love Letter by Clairy Browne and the Bangin’ Rackettes” She blushed and wrung the leather of the steering wheel back and forth.  She took a left on a small row lined with pretentious two and three story, glass walled houses.  We drove downhill for ten more minutes until we parked right in front of the beach.  She turned off the car and huffed out a breath. 

             
“Are you ok,” I asked her.  She looked nervous all the sudden.

             
“Yeah, I just always get a little nervous before going on shoots.  It’s ok, let’s go.” Before she got out she reached over and touched my bicep.  It took me a minute to get out even though she hadn’t touched my skin.  She probably did that to everyone.

             
I walked to her trunk and she was already bogged down with hanging bags and a huge duffel bag.  I grabbed them from her and she gave me a grin that made me glad I’d been taught some manners by my dad—Chase—whatever.  I was grateful. 

             
“Wow, I’ve always carried my own stuff. Thank you.  I hope you don’t get bored.  It shouldn’t be more than an hour or so.” I helped her get her things to the little camper where I was shooed out by a lady who I swore invented aerosol hair spray.  I stood outside taking in the view.  There were people running around everywhere.  A man pulled up in a Chevy Nova and was directed to pull it all the way onto the beach.  All kinds of equipment were pooled around in a circle surrounding the car. 

             
The door to the trailer opened about an hour later and the hair spray lady emerged first.  “Go ahead honey,” she said in a raspy voice, “See what you think.” She opened the door wide for me and I took the few steps inside the trailer.  The sunlight pouring through the door blinded me so I closed it.  And I lost my breath at the sight before me. 

             
She had one leg propped up on a chair and the only thing that tore my gaze from the sexiest pair of legs I’d ever seen was the groan that came from her mouth.  She couldn’t fasten the buckle on her red heels.  I hesitated, not nearly as long as I thought I would and then bit the bullet. I
had
to know. I sat on a chair next to her, spread my legs and tapped the piece of chair between them.  She got my drift.  She placed her foot right between my legs on the chair and turned her foot so I would have easier access to the buckle.  My gangly fingers had trouble at first but eventually I got it fastened but she didn’t move her leg. 

             
“Do I look ok,” she asked me.  And ok didn’t even begin to cover how completely gorgeous she was.  She had an all black one piece—thing on.  The bottom was shorts but were connected to a top with no straps, nothing to hold it up but her natural curves. There was a red ribbon tied around her tiny waist and I wondered if undoing it would make the whole thing unravel.  She was flawless.

             
“You look stunning.” I whispered to her and could help the heat that emanated from our close proximity.  This was it.  In less than forty eight hours knowing her, I was about to throw all of my fears out the window and hope they didn’t take me with them.  She moved to take her foot away but I stopped her with my hand on her ankle.  My hand burned in place atop what I imagined was the softest, most silk-like skin I’d ever touched. Like her skin was made for me. Instinctively I ran my thumb up and down the warm, smooth heaven from her ankle to the middle of her foot. I let my gaze move upward past the petite ankle towards her knee.  My hand slid north to meet the target of my eyes and looked to her face, asking for permission—for what I didn’t know yet. Her breath hitched at the connection and I took it as a yes.  I reveled in the sensation of her skin under the palm of my hand.  I was drunk on her, swirling in a haze of revelation.  Before I knew it my hand was interrupted by the hem of her shorts on the outside of her thigh. I’d gone too far, so caught up in the way she felt. Her hand covered mine and she opened her mouth to say something.  She voiced a sound but was cut off by the trailer door being flung open and some guy yelled at her to be on set.  I didn’t know his name.  But that kid was dead meat.

             
She crouched in front of me as I sat, still unable to move post-revelation.  “Come watch me work.  It’ll make me better—knowing you’re here.”  I nodded in response but let her exit the trailer before me.  I sat in shock a few more moments before a wide grin spread over my face.  I touched her.  I touched her—no twitching, no bug crawling under my dermis, nothing but pure ecstasy.  I didn’t question why or how, I just knew what was real. 

Chapter 26

Falcon

These are the random things I think about.  The past tense of slink is slunk.  But the word skink doesn’t have a past tense, ‘cause it’s a noun and a reptile.  If it did, it would be skunk, but that’s a stinky striped critter.  I need more coffee.

     This Tuesday night’s dinner was almost back to normal.  Reed’s confession freed us all to talk about Maddox and just the flow of his name in the air felt like he was with us again.  We spent the entire meal telling stories about him and letting Reed tell us everything she knew. 

     She was worried about my mom.  She didn’t know if she’d be angry or hurt beyond belief that Reed knew where he was.  But she was wrong all the way around.  My mom was completely relieved and was actually happy that someone knew he was safe.  Now Reed had to tell Mad that she’d spilled the beans but she was ok with it.  She said she thought it was the right thing to do. 

     I looked at her, back to her normal self, throwing a piece of garlic bread at Owen and happy.  This is where she belonged.  Not just with me, but in this family.  And then I stuck an olive in her ear while she wasn’t looking. 

             
“Gross Falcon.  Here,” She put the olive in my shirt’s front pocket and then smashed it with her hand. I put my hand over hers and steadied it so she could feel.  I looked in her eyes, as deeply as possible without physically crawling into the sockets and made her understand again.  And I would make her understand every day, all day if I needed to, because that’s what she deserved.  She deserved nothing less than my reverence.  She was the reason I was whole.  And I hoped she felt my heart increase just looking at her and knowing she was mine.  That smile broke out across her face, the one which had the power to bring me to my knees. 

             
“Oh my God, gross, can you two please get a room.  We’re trying to eat here.” Nellie, of course interrupted. 

             
And I shocked the whole table, including my mother, who blushed and giggled into her napkin as I stood and announced, “Yes, we can.  In fact, we’re gonna do that now.” I kept Reed’s hand in mine and led her back home.

             
I shut the door behind us and watched her stretch as she walked towards our bedroom.  I would never get used to the sight of her.  I hoped I never did.  She realized I wasn’t behind her and stopped before entering the hall.  She turned to face me and leaned against the doorjamb and waggled her eyebrows at me.