Down the Shore (19 page)

"I'm so sorry about that.” I looked down. “I should have told them.” I was embarrassed that I hadn't.

He finished pouring frozen drinks into tall glasses and carefully placed the little umbrellas on top.

"Abigail, what do I always tell you?” His eyes were soft. “No worries.” He winked, retreating back to his customers. He had a way of making me feel completely at ease, and I did. I felt better. I closed my eyes, relaxed my body and walked back inside. My family sat quietly, waiting for me. I approached them with caution, listening for any words that might make me feel better.

My mother's eyes flashed up to meet mine.

"Abby, we're ready to order.” I fumbled with the pen in my pocket. I looked down at the paper in front of me, never once looking into their eyes.

"What would you guys like?” I asked nervously.

"Well, I'd love a drink right about now, but I guess that's out of the question,” my father said as he looked back down at the menu.

I bit the tip of my pen, frantically waiting for someone to speak. Thank God for my mother.

"Honey, I'll have a cheeseburger and a diet soda.” She paused, looking at my father. “Daddy will have the same, and Mike, tell your sister what you want,” she said and patted my forearm. I turned my head to my brother, looking for any kind of answer, something to tell me it was okay.

"Cheesesteak and a coke,” he whispered, “Sorry."

I was noticeably uncomfortable at work while my family sat and looked on, never once trying to make me feel better about Colin. I knew I would be speaking to my mother tonight, and that gave me some sense of relief. She seemed to understand.

The evening dragged on, my family taking their time. Every time my father looked at me, I felt like a seven year-old little girl who had just done the most disappointing thing. I was constantly waiting for the dreaded, “I wish I could trust you again,” speech. I hadn't done anything wrong this time. I had a boyfriend, big deal. He might be older than I was, but that didn't matter to me, so why should it bother them?

Colin was everything my mother had ever spoken about. She would understand when I had the chance to tell her. I'd found him, Colin was the one, he was my summer, my life. I felt giddy inside looking forward to the conversation later.

I waited for Colin to finish up for the night. I sat at the end of the bar, frantically tapping my finger on the mahogany, when I felt his fingers on top of mine.

"Are we a little anxious about something?” he mused.

"Just, ah, nervous. I need to call my mom later, that's all,” I said.

He wrapped his finger loosely around mine. “That bad?"

"Not sure,” I whispered back.

"Well, let's get going before you have a bloody heart attack.” He laughed, picking me up off the stool. I wrapped my legs tightly wrapped around his waist, and kissed his neck as we walked off onto the moonlit beach. Everything just seemed to work when I was in his arms.

"All better, then?” he asked, seeming to note that his arms worked miracles for me.

"For now,” I teased, kissing his nose. The walk home was short, and we didn't stop to take our usual seat on the beach. We had no time for kissing or cuddling under the stars tonight, at least not yet.

I pulled my cell out my handbag and dialed the number, quickly saying a prayer. Colin was strewn across my bed reading a novel about some football team in England, and rummaging through the pages.

The phone rang twice before she picked up.

"Abby, I've been waiting,” she snapped at me.

"Sorry, work ran a little late,” I stammered.

"Give me a minute. I want to walk outside,” she said. I realized at that moment she needed to talk to me, but without my father overhearing.

"Okay, explain everything,” she demanded.

I hesitated briefly. “Mom, Colin's not too old for me. I don't see what the problem is.” I tried not to stutter as I spoke. “He's really amazing, if you would just get to know him.” I paused. “You would love him, too.” I stooped down to sit next to him, to feel his arms, to make it better. There was silence for a moment.

"Abigail, you can't be serious. I'm sure you think you love him, honey, but it's just a summer crush, I can assure you. College starts in only a few weeks, there will be plenty of boys your own age when you get there."

The anger built up inside of me.

"Mother, please don't go there. I said I loved him and I meant it, this isn't a summer crush,” I said a little louder than I meant to, more like yelled.

"Fine, Abby, what's going to happen when he goes home? Where is he from? England? Ireland? Where?” she snapped back.

The thought threw me off a little.What
was
I going to do? What were we going to do at the end of summer?

"We'll figure it out. He only has a year of school left and then he'll come back. I don't know, Mom. We're not sure yet.” I tried to sound convincing as my voice was obviously shaky.

"He just seems much older, much more, experienced for you. Please tell me you didn't waste everything that we've talked about on a summer fling?” she asked nervously.

There was silence for a brief minute.

Colin held my hand, rubbing my hair gently as he listened to the conversation that even I didn't have the answers to.

"Please, Mother, not now. I'm going to be with him. He means the world to me, and if you can't accept him, well, then this conversation is over,” I snapped, hanging up the phone. I thought for sure it would have gone better than that. I thought once I told her she would remember what it was like. She didn't. I was convinced that my father had brainwashed her.

Colin tilted his head, his fingers touching my lips."What happened?"

"Nothing. They think I'm a fool and that you're just a summer crush. I told her it wasn't, but I don't know. I just don't understand why they're being so ridiculous."

"Just give them some time. They'll come ‘round.” He kissed me.

I wrapped myself around him knowing it would make me feel better, and it did as always. It was hard to fall asleep that night because my parents were upset with me, and I was upset with them. But I did. I stirred, not feeling his arms around me, and slowly opened my eyes.

It was the middle of the night, and I was alone.

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Colin wasn't next to me. I couldn't imagine where he could have gone. He had slept next to me every night since Nick disappeared. I still hadn't told him exactly what happened and wasn't sure if I wanted to. I reached onto my nightstand and grabbed my phone, opening it to call Colin. As I flipped it open, I saw that I had missed two text messages and one was read. I quickly fumbled with the buttons, trying to read them in the dark. As the words spread across my cell, I read them carefully out loud. I knew the answer immediately.

Nick was back and wanted to talk to me, just talk. He wanted me to meet him on the beach tonight. He wanted to apologize for everything. I would never have gone to meet him, and for the first time, I wished Colin had not slept over. I ran out the door, expecting to find Nick and Colin fighting, not realizing that I wasn't dressed appropriately. Looking down, it registered with me instantly that I was wearing only a T-shirt and underwear.

It was quiet; no one answered Nick's door. Panic set in as I raced back inside and threw on a pair of shorts. Had Colin gone alone to find Nick? Was Nick alone or with his buddies? Did Anthony tell him I had a nightly guest spending time in my room? All of these questions came to a screeching halt when I knew where they would be.

I ran with all the strength I had, and sprinted to the beach as fast as my legs would take me. Colin sat there by the water, holding his head in his hands, feet wedged into the sand. I ran toward him, yelling for him. He looked around, surprised to see me and sprang to his feet.

"What are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?” He came toward me, meeting my steps.

I stood two inches from his body. He was completely tense, his fists balled up next to his body. His expression said it all—he was angry.

"I came looking for you. Are you all right?” I whispered as I reached out, grabbing at the loopholes on his shorts. He gently pushed me away.

"Abby, you shouldn't be here."

He sat back down, sinking into the sand.

"What happened? Is Nick here? I saw the message. Where's Nick?” I asked softly, kneeling beside him.

"I don't know and I don't care. He's gone.” His eyes wouldn't meet mine and he kept them focused on the sand he was tossing through his fingers.

"Well, okay, but why are you upset with me?” I asked softly.

He chuckled in his usual Irish way, looking up.

"Ah, Abigail.” He pushed the hair behind my ear, gently kissing me. “I'm not upset with you, I could never be.” He paused. “Nick was here, but trust me he's not coming back, love, I promise."

"I know.” I sat on the sand, folding my arms tightly around my legs. I was almost afraid to ask. “What did he want?"

He sighed.

"He said he wanted to speak to you, apologize for his behavior. He didn't fill me in on what happened between the two of you, and I didn't ask, but I couldn't help myself. Can you please forgive me?” his voice held a note of pleading.

"Forgive you? Forgive you for what? I don't understand.” I knew this was going to happen, and I wasn't even surprised. He hated Nick, never trusted him. I should have listened to him weeks ago.

"Abigail, do you remember when I told you my mother sent me over here to stay out of trouble?” he reminded me cautiously.

I nodded softly.

"Well, what I didn't tell you is, I'm a really good fighter. I trained to fight since I was a young boy. That's one of the reasons I'm here, because I've gotten into too many brawls back home. My ma was getting worried about me. I thought I could control myself, but I could see your face and hear you crying in my head. I couldn't sleep and the phone was just sitting there. I opened your message and I'm sorry, but...shite, I'm not sorry.” There was a long pause. “What happened, Abigail, what did he want to apologize for?” His eyes, filled with sadness, stared into mine.

I wedged my body to fit between his spread out legs. I rested the back of my head onto his chest and he put his arms around me.

"Can I ask you something, before I tell you?"

He leaned in to my ear and whispered, “Anything."

I let my ear stay close to his mouth, feeling his warm breath on my face.

"Where's Nick? What happened to him?"

He took a deep breath. “He'll live if that's what you're wondering, but he'll be in some pain for a little while.” He sounded sure of that.

"How bad?"

"You don't need to know all the details. His friends have taken him home by now."

I gasped, “His friends were here, and they didn't ...” I paused... “try to stop you?"

"He called Anthony to come get him. And no, they didn't try.” He laughed at me.

"What's so funny?” I jabbed him in the stomach with my elbow.

"Trust me, love, they knew better,” he assured me. “Your turn—what happened that night?"

He picked me up and turned my body to face his, pulling my legs around his waist. I threw my arms over his neck, and his hands rested on my hips.

"Tell me, please?” He kissed me tenderly on the lips.

I almost forgot why we were sitting on the beach. My entire body felt like someone had injected it with Novocain, and I went completely numb. My heart raced a little faster, my body feeling quite comfortable where he placed it. I leaned in to kiss him just once, I thought, and then I would tell him. I was overwhelmed with the feelings that shot through my body. I couldn't stop, and I was urged on by the taste of his lips, the smell of his neck. Quickly he stopped me, pulling me back.

"Abigail, as much as I love when you lose a little control, I need to know what happened,” he reminded me.

"You're ruining my mood, y'know,” I teased, trying to kiss him one more time.

"Are you trying to stall, lass?” He slid me backwards off his lap.

"Nick stopped before anything happened, before it could happen, that's all you really need to know. It hurts to think about it, how naive I was to trust him.” I shook my head in defeat. I tried to situate myself back onto his lap, “Now where were we?” I bit the bottom of his lip playfully, trying to unbutton his shirt.

"So he didn't?"

"No, he stopped. I promise."

He sighed and relaxed his shoulders.

"All right, let's go home, although I think we should head to my place tonight, if that's okay with you?"

He gently pulled me up to a standing position, and we headed toward the water. We slowly waded through the warmth of the ocean, splashing through the water all the way to his place, hand in hand. When we arrived back at his house, it was late, after two in the morning. There were at least twenty people crowded around the kitchen table, playing drinking games. We didn't have the energy. We fell into bed, exhaustion winning over us, and we both fell fast asleep in each other's arms.

I woke up several hours later, trembling from a dream I couldn't remember from the moment I opened my eyes.

I heard Colin's soft voice, and I could feel the warmth of the sun in his room.

"It's just a dream love, it's all right, no worries,” he said sleepily, kissing the salty tears from my cheek. I held onto him tightly, and I didn't want to let go. I needed him.

"What was that all about?” he asked.

I wiped the remaining tears off my face. “Colin, will you tell me more about you? Why did you say you're a good fighter?"

He laughed. “Let's see.” He stopped briefly, “My ma is an English Protestant and my da is an Irish Catholic. They don't mix so well in my country, so I learned to fight early, to defend myself. Then it just seemed natural to keep doing something I was good at, so I kept it up."

"From what? That seems silly,” I said.

"Ignorance. Very ignorant people, I guess you could say. They could only see black and white, no grey. I grew up most of my life in Ireland, but until I was six we lived in Liverpool, England."