Dr. Campbell's Secret Son (3 page)

‘Well done, everyone. Great work.’ Sarah glanced at her watch. ‘Good grief, is that the time?’ Hours had passed since the ambulances had arrived and Sarah was suddenly conscious of feeling ravenous. Besides, she wanted to check on Calum. ‘If you guys want to go for lunch, I’ll man the fort until you come back.’

Jamie eyed Sarah. She was still as beautiful as he remembered in a delicate way that belied the iron resolve he knew underpinned everything she did. She looked tired, dark circles bruised the delicate skin under her eyes. But despite the tiredness there was a new fullness to her breasts and roundness to her cheeks that hadn’t been there before. At one time he had known every inch of her body and these curves were most definitely new. Nice, but new. He longed to run his hands over her body to refamiliarise himself with her contours. Damn it! He wanted to do more than that, he admitted to himself.

‘I had a huge breakfast,’ he said, patting his lean abdomen. ‘I’m quite happy to wait an hour or so. Why don’t you go with Lizzie? She can continue filling you in about the department while I check at Reception and deal with any waiting patients.’

‘No, you and Sarah go, Jamie.’ Lizzie suggested. ‘I’ve checked and there’s nobody waiting to see a doctor just now. I’ll stay with Lucy. Besides, I’m on a diet,’ she said, indicating her curves. ‘Need to get into my dress for the wedding so I brought a salad. I can always page you if I need you. Go on the pair of you—shoo.’

Sarah didn’t feel ready to be alone with Jamie. There were things she needed to tell him, but she wanted to be away from the distractions of the hospital so they could talk without interruption. Furthermore, she couldn’t think clearly in his presence. She desperately wanted time alone to gather her thoughts.

And her feet were killing her. The new shoes she hadn’t been able to resist to go with her new suit were rubbing painfully. She’d forgotten what it was like to be constantly on your feet. It would be comfortable if unfashionable shoes from now on, she promised herself. She flicked off one high-heeled shoe and rubbed her sore toes on the back of a trousered leg.

‘I’m quite happy to put my feet up for a few moments in the staffroom with a cup of coffee.’

But Jamie clearly had other ideas. ‘You need to eat.’ he said firmly. ‘I’ll go to the canteen and get some sandwiches—you put the kettle on. Then you can put your feet up while you’re eating. There’s a spare pair of theatre sandals in the cupboard if you like.’

Good grief, did nothing escape the man? Sore feet or not, nothing would persuade her to clump around in theatre sandals. She glared at Jamie, making it clear that she found his suggestion preposterous. Noting the twinkle in Jamie’s eyes, she smiled ruefully. He obviously remembered the fetish she had always had for shoes.

‘You win. Five minutes in the staffroom?’

Sarah filled the kettle and set out the mugs for coffee before reaching for the phone. Although she had promised not to call, she couldn’t help herself. She just had to check that Calum wasn’t upset and crying for her.

As she waited for the call to be answered, Jamie arrived back with a pile of sandwiches and some fruit, which he dumped on the coffee-table.

‘There, that should see us through the next few hours,’ he said. ‘Sorry, I didn’t notice you were on the phone.’

‘There’s no answer,’ Sarah replied, replacing the receiver, small lines of anxiety creasing her brow. Could Calum be sick? Had her mother taken him to the doctor? Don’t be silly, she admonished herself. Perhaps they’d gone for a walk or her mother was changing Calum and couldn’t come to the phone. There could be a hundred reasons. That didn’t stop her from worrying, however.

‘Is anything wrong?’ Jamie asked, as ever tuned into her moods.

‘My mother isn’t answering the phone.’

‘Is that a problem? Is she ill?’ Jamie had met Sarah’s mother often and the last he’d known she had been in the best of health. Still, she was getting older and it had been a long time since he had last seen her.

‘No it’s not that. It’s…’ Sarah tailed off.

Jamie looked at her quizzically, cocking an eyebrow.

Just as Sarah was formulating the words to tell Jamie about Calum, there was a soft tap on the door and one of the male nurses popped his head into the room.

‘Visitor, or should I say visitors, for you, Dr Carruthers. And can I just say he’s absolutely gorgeous.’ He stepped back, allowing Sarah’s mother, with Calum in her arms, to enter.

‘Mum! What is it? Is Calum all right?’ Sarah said anxiously, reaching for her son. But it was immediately apparent from the smiles and gurgles as big brown eyes gazed into hers adoringly that her child was in perfect health.

‘We were out for a walk, so I thought we’d just step in for a moment and say hello. We’d have crept away without disturbing you if you’d been busy. But I thought it would put your mind at rest if you could see for yourself how perfectly content Calum is.’

Catching sight of Jamie, Sarah’s mother’s lips formed a large O. ‘Well, I never! Jamie. I must say I didn’t expect to find you here.’ She looked from Sarah to Jamie, perplexed.

For a moment Sarah froze. In her anxiety for her son, she had completely forgotten about Jamie’s presence. She resisted the desire to grab her son and bolt from the room. Anything to put off the moment when she’d have to tell him. She sneaked a look at Jamie, who was looking confused. ‘Jamie is the locum consultant here, Mum. He started a few weeks ago. Jamie, this is Calum, my son.’

‘Your son!’ Jamie said disbelievingly. Well, why not? He hadn’t expected her to live the life of a nun. Heaven knew,
he
hadn’t. But he hadn’t expected her to find someone else so soon. Had she been that desperate to have children? How old was the child? Around six months, he guessed, although he was no expert. He started doing some mental arithmetic in his head. That meant she must have fallen pregnant soon after he’d left. That
was
quick.

Sarah busied herself pouring coffee. She turned her back on Jamie, taking a few deep breaths to steady her nerves. The teacup rattled in the saucer.

‘Mama.’ Calum gave a plaintive cry, reaching once more for his mother.

‘You take your child. I’ll get the coffee,’ Jamie offered. Sarah scooped Calum into her arms. She covered his face with kisses, murmuring soothing endearments until he stopped fretting. Calum turned his wide brown eyes on Jamie. He had seen those eyes before. Then suddenly it hit him. Those were the same eyes he saw in the mirror every morning when he shaved.

Sarah stole a glance at Jamie. The colour had drained from his face as he looked from her to Calum. His lips tightened and his eyes were as grim as she had ever seen them. She felt the blood run cold in her veins. Not just angry she thought—furious.

‘Mrs Carruthers, could you excuse us, please?’ Jamie said, a river of steel running through his voice. ‘I think Sarah and I have to talk.’

CHAPTER TWO

‘W
E DO
have to talk, Jamie, but this is not the time or the place.’ Sarah said, unwrapping the small arms from around her neck. ‘Mum, could you take Calum home now, please?’

Mrs Carruthers moved to take Calum from his mother’s arms but the baby, sensing the tension in the room, clung tighter to his mother.

‘I’ll just step out for a minute, shall I?’ Calum’s grandmother said, beating a hasty retreat and closing the door behind her.

‘You had no right.’ Jamie’s eyes were almost black with fury—and something else. Could it be fear? wondered Sarah. Was he
that
terrified of becoming a father? Well, he needn’t worry. She and Calum had managed just fine without him and would continue to manage without him. Or so she tried to convince herself, deliberately forcing back the memories of the lonely nights when she had longed for his strong body next to hers, his comforting arms around her, sharing the joys and anxieties of parenthood as well as her bed.

‘It is nothing to do with you, Jamie. You made it perfectly clear that you didn’t want children—or me, for that matter.’ Sarah fought hard to keep her voice steady. She had no intention of letting him know how much he had hurt her when he had left.

‘Were you ever going to let me know?’

‘Let you know what exactly?’

‘That I had fathered a child.’

‘Are you so sure that it’s yours?’ Sarah bit back, and then immediately regretted the words. Of course he had to know Calum was his. Despite the fact he had made it clear that he never wanted children, he did have the right to know. Even if he wanted nothing to do with either of them.

‘Not mine?’ For a moment hope flared in his deep brown eyes. Sarah felt as if her heart had been squeezed.

Jamie strode towards her, his mouth set in a grim line. Involuntarily, Sarah stepped back, hugging Calum protectively. Jamie shot her a look of questioning anguish before gently moving aside the blanket covering the small body. The baby gazed up at him with solemn brown eyes. A tiny hand reached out and wrapped itself around one of Jamie’s fingers. The child pulled the finger into his mouth and gnawed with the nub of a tooth. Jamie’s heart lurched. He felt ill.

‘Oh, Sarah, what
have
you done?’ he said, his voice edged with despair.

Sarah had imagined this moment for months. But never quite like this. In the small hours of the night, when she had lain in her big empty bed almost overwhelmed with the responsibility for the small life that depended so utterly on her, she’d imagined Jamie coming back into her life and, if not loving her, at least loving his child. She had never expected, or wanted, his financial help—she earned enough to provide quite comfortably for her and her child—but Calum needed a father figure. Someone who would play football with him, take him fishing, all the things that she imagined other fathers did.

‘It’s not just what
I
did, Jamie. You of all people should know that it takes two to make a baby,’ she said, a small smile twisting her mouth.

Jamie had removed himself to the other side of the room, putting as much physical distance as possible between him and Sarah and the baby. He looked at her coldly. ‘You told me you were on the Pill,’ Jamie said flatly. ‘I would never…’

‘Never what, Jamie? Made love to me? If I remember correctly, that last night when you came round, you couldn’t wait to get me back in your bed.’

Sarah’s cheeks burned at the memory of their last night together. Of him standing in her small sitting room, looking as beautiful and dangerously enticing as Lucifer. Of her capitulation and their frenzied love-making before he had left her in the early hours of the morning. She had woken to find him staring down at her. Had it been a trick of the moonlight that had made her imagine the tenderness in his eyes as he’d gazed down at her? She had reached up and pulled him towards her. ‘I could come with you,’ she had whispered, not caring that she was laying her heart at his feet. He had gently detached her hands from around his neck.

‘You are about to achieve everything you ever dreamed of in your career, Sarah. I can’t give you what you want from me. Not when I’m…’ He had hesitated. ‘Not the committing kind.’ And so he had left with one last lingering kiss.

Sarah forced her thoughts back to the present.

‘And I
was
on the Pill,’ she stressed ‘until you told me it was over between us. And I thought it really was. That last evening was, well, unexpected.’ Once more her cheeks flared as she stumbled over her words. Calum was getting restless in his mother’s arms, beginning to squirm.

‘Why didn’t you tell me when you found out you were pregnant?’ Sarah winced as Jamie ground out the words. ‘Didn’t you think I had the right to know?’ He stood, arms crossed, looking at Sarah. She had seen that look before, usually when he had been justifiably ticking off some junior doctor for failing in some way. It was the first time she had ever had his disapproval directed at her. She lifted her chin.

‘And what would you have done?’ she asked scathingly ‘Come rushing back? Offered to make an honest woman of me? No, Jamie. You made it crystal clear that marriage and children weren’t part of your plans.’

‘You could have had a termination.’ Jamie’s voice was emotionless. Sarah felt as if she had been kicked in the stomach.

‘A termination? Oh, believe me, I thought about it. I wasn’t ready to be a mum. And certainly not a single mother. But when it came down to it I just couldn’t do it. She clutched Calum closer, unable to imagine a life without him. ‘Is that what you would have wanted me to do? How can you bear to think that? Especially now that you’ve seen him? No, Jamie, having Calum was the best decision I ever made in my life. If you feel differently, I was right not to tell you.’

Jamie rubbed his face tiredly. Suddenly all the anger seemed to drain out of him.

‘You don’t understand…’ he began, but before he could finish there was an urgent rap at the door and Lizzie pushed the door open.

‘Jamie, Sarah, sorry to interrupt,’ she said, taking in the atmosphere in the room with a quizzical eye, ‘but I’m a bit worried about Mrs Croy—the pregnant lady.’

Jamie and Sarah immediately focused their attention on the young nurse, following her out of the room towards Resus.

‘Could you take Calum home, Mum?’ Sarah said as she passed her mother in the corridor. Calum immediately let out a loud wail at being removed from his mother’s arms and Sarah couldn’t suppress the pang she felt as she passed him over.

‘I can handle this,’ Jamie said tightly.

‘I know you can, but it’s my job, too. Calum will be fine in a moment.’

‘Are you sure?’ Jamie asked, his voice softening. But Sarah was already striding off in front of him without a backward glance at her snuffling baby. Surreptitiously she blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. She was determined not to let anyone see, least of all Jamie, how much Calum’s cries tore at her heart. Millions of women had to leave their babies to work. As she had told Jamie, she had a job to do.

Her baby’s plaintive cries still ringing in her ears, she bent over the frightened woman lying on the gurney in front of her.