Dragon Sword and Wind Child (32 page)
“Hey, Saya!”
A little life came into her face when she finally located the owner of the voice perched on the fence. “Torihiko!”
“I thought you'd forgotten me. And I was only gone a short while,” said the crow.
“Where have you been?”
“Here and there. I've mustered many troops. Even Lord Akitsu couldn't match their number. From now on, they'll have to call me Lord Torihiko,” he joked, but when she did not respond, he flapped his wings. “Cheer up. The Dragon was stilled, right?”
“But it was Lord Ibuki who did it.”
“How is he?”
Saya shook her head wordlessly. Then, unable to suppress her feelings any longer, she groaned. “Torihiko, I've failed.”
“No you haven't.”
“Yes, I have. I've failed at everything. I'm totally useless. How can I be the Priestess, when I can't do even one thing right when I'm needed?”
Torihiko gazed at her in concern as she sat with her face buried in her hands. “I should never have left you,” he said.
After a short while an attendant came out of the hut and addressed Saya in a hushed voice. “His Lordship is conscious. He wishes to speak with you.”
She followed him through the doorway. In the dim light of the hut, the army's key commanders, including Lord Akitsu, sat silently, their faces grave. It was clear from their expressions that there was no hope of recovery. Her spirits sinking even further, Saya looked at Lord Ibuki's huge, prostrated form. His hair and beard were singed and burns covered his entire body; beneath the white cloth, she caught glimpses of painfully blistered skin. He had lost both eyes. The healer, unable to do more, had applied a cool damp cloth over them in an attempt to relieve at least some of the pain. As Saya stood beside him, he moved his blackened lips.
“Is that Saya? The footsteps were light.”
Hoarse and barely audible, his voice, normally loud and booming, was unrecognizable. Clenching her teeth to hold back the tears, Saya sank to her knees beside him and said, “Yes, it's me, Saya. Are you in pain?”
“No. It's not so bad. Saya, I spoke with Chihaya. In the end, he knew me,” he said as cheerfully as he could manage. “I told him that since he was the worst pupil I had ever had, I was relieved to see that he could now beat even his teacher.”
“It was all my fault,” Saya whispered.
“Saya, don't reject him. I'm begging you. Please. He raged blindly, unable to control his own power. He didn't even know what had happened to us. He isn't evil. Far from it. For we hurt him badly.”
“Yes. I know.” Saya nodded. Her tears overflowed and would not stop. When she thought of losing this man, who was large not only in body but also in soul, and all for nothing, she wanted to rant and rave and pummel the earth. But she could only weep quietly. Lord Ibuki had already set his feet toward the Goddess and was only glancing back at her as he went on his way.
“If you reject Chihaya, he'll reject himself. And that would be a terrible thing, for he will become true evil. He'll become the Dragon. Forgive him. Though the death of Natsume hurt you, Chihaya has also been hurt. Forgiveness is your strength.”
“Yes,” Saya replied through her tears.
“That's what makes you the Water Maiden.” Lord Ibuki let out a long sigh as if suddenly tired. “I go before you to seek rest with the Goddess, but I won't forget you. Tell Chihaya that I hope we meet again in some other guise.”
He fell into a deep sleep. And then, as they watched, he quietly breathed his last.
WHEN NIGHT FELL
, the sky cleared into a starlit vault. The quarter moon cast a fresh, clean light, etching shadows in the autumn thickets. A wake was held for Lord Ibuki; after placing his coffin within a newly built enclosure, his companions kept watch. There was none who did not mourn his passing, none who did not lament this appalling blow to their military strength. Saya sat a long while in a corner of the small hut, which was thronged with people, but unable to endure it any longer, she finally slipped out alone into the night.
White chrysanthemums floated forlornly in the light of the moon.
The smell of frost was in the air. By dawn the ground would be covered in white. To Saya, the cold bite of the air on her skin seemed appropriate. She walked over to a cherry tree that cast a dappled shadow in the moonlight through its sparsely leafed branches and rested her throbbing head against its trunk, whispering softly, “What's done is done and can't be undone.” These words kept ringing in her head. No matter what she thought about, in the end, her thoughts always came back to them.
I've lost Chihaya. I'm no longer the Priestess of the Sword. What
a fool I was. Natsume, Lord Ibukiâthey've both left me behind. Now
what shall I live for? How am I to carry on?
Suddenly, she sensed someone walking silently toward her through the darkness. She stepped away from the tree in surprise.
“Who's there?”
A small figure, about the same height as Fawn, walked toward her, silhouetted against the moonlight. But in the pale light her hair shone whiter than frost.
“Lady Iwa,” Saya exclaimed, her voice rising in surprise. “Did the news reach you so quickly?”
“I'm always with you. It's just that no one notices,” Lady Iwa replied enigmatically. Then, coming right up to her, she asked abruptly, “Daughter, why did you fear, when you knew long ago that Chihaya and the Dragon were one?”
The old woman had cut straight to the heart of the matter. Saya could not answer her at first. But as she gazed into the fathomless depths of her eyes, she realized that Lady Iwa already knew everything. Then it was not words but tears that most adequately expressed her feelings. She burst out crying, like a heartbroken child breaking down before her mother. “I didn't believe it. I don't know what came over me. I saw Natsume and just lost control . . . To think that even for a moment I could believe such a thing of Chihaya, when he placed the Sword in my hands the day he was imprisoned. When the only person who could have taken the Sword from my tent was Fawn.”
“Yes, and the child you took under your wing was Princess Teruhi herself. It's just the sort of thing that woman would do.”
“Natsume distrusted Fawn. But . . .” Saya murmured.
“The immortals are adept at exploiting human frailties. Playing on your compassion, she infiltrated our lines to carry out her scheme.”
“Then if I had just been stronger, Natsume and Lord Ibuki need not have died, right?”
Lady Iwa's large eyes blinked slowly. “It does no good to talk of what might have been.”
“But I can't be silent. I've been such a fool that I hate myself,” Saya said, unable to stop. “I can never, ever forget the expression on Chihaya's face. I abandoned him when he needed me most. How could I have looked at him like that? I know Lord Ibuki meant what he said to me, but it's too late. Chihaya is gone. I can't take it back.”
Lady Iwa waited until Saya's sobs had quieted, and then said gently, “You mustn't despair. That's the worst way to admit a mistake. It's true that some mistakes can never be amended no matter what you do, but that doesn't mean it's all right to give up before you even try.”
Saya finally wiped the tears from her eyes. “If I had even the slightest hope that I could make amends I would do anythingâno matter how slim the chances.”
“Daughter,” Lady Iwa said earnestly, “I don't believe that Chihaya has returned to the Palace of Light. Where he has gone I don't know, yet I feel he must be wandering somewhere not so far away.”
“Do you really think so?” Saya gazed at her with wide, tear-drenched eyes. “Despite what we did to him, do you really think it's possible that he might not hate us?”
“Yes, I do, because he now knows himself. He's no longer a child who will do as his sister bids him. He can think for himself and will make a move only after he has come to a decision. Of course, he'll never come back to the camp of Darkness of his own accordâ”
“But if I were to look for him, I might speak with him,” Saya completed her sentence eagerly. “If there's any hope of that, I'll go. I will find Chihaya.”
“Yes. It's possible that you may be able to take his hand once again. This time, however, you must choose your words with the utmost care, for Chihaya will never again simply do what you tell him.”
Saya took a deep breath and stood up straight. She no longer felt she had lost everything. “It will be enough to say that I'm sorry, as long as we won't be alienated by misunderstanding anymore. I will find Chihaya. That's what I must do.”
Hearing the conviction in her voice, Lady Iwa closed her eyes as if lost in thought. Slowly and deliberately she said, “Saya, more than three hundred years have passed since the forces of Light began to rule this land. During that time, we struggled to resist them. Generation after generation, the Water Maiden was born, and each time she was drawn to the Light and destroyed herself. It seemed that this must be the curse of the maid who kept the Sword. Yet you found Chihaya. You are the first Water Maiden to meet the Wind Child. And I think that this will change everything. At last the Water Maiden has found the essence of that which she seeks.”
Saya looked at the old woman apprehensively. “But I'm so thoughtless. I've failed at everything so far. Even though I was the first to meet Chihaya, do you think there's a chance that I may take my own life again if I fail this time?”
“Are you nervous?” Lady Iwa said with laughter in her voice. As if teasing her, she added, “Are you still afraid of Chihaya?”
“No,” Saya said defiantly, but Lady Iwa shook her head.
“No, Saya, that would be a lie. After all, he's the Dragon. It would be false not to fear him, and a big mistake. Yet it's also wrong to fear him completely. For he isn't evil. If you treat him with integrity, you will be rewarded with integrity. He is the Dragon, but in order for him to transcend the Dragon you must fear, and transcend your fear.”
O winds of heaven, bring up the clouds
and seal the vaulted sky
Lest these heavenly maids should wings possess
and away from us should fly.
â Bishop Henjo
T
HE COMMANDERS SAT IN A CIRCLE
and watched Lord Akitsu carefully, waiting to see how he would respond to Saya's request. He spoke slowly, as if trying to postpone making a decision. “I understand what you're saying. And I know that Chihaya wasn't to blame. But what can you hope to gain by going off in search of him? He'll never come back to us. After what we did to each other, we'll never be able to look one another in the face again.”
“No. We're capable of forgiveness,” Saya argued earnestly. “If we can forgive him, he will forgive us. Those who let his immortality blind them already regret it. And besides, everyone now knows that we were deceived and manipulated by Princess Teruhi.”
“Do we really need to go to such lengths to regain him as our ally?” Lord Shinado demanded harshly.
“Yes. The Dragon Sword has always been guarded by the people of Darkness. Chihaya is the Dragon Sword. He's our strongest, our greatest power.”
“But you yourself said that we had lost him.”
Saya flinched at this and replied in a small voice. “Yes. And that's precisely why I myself must go in search of him.”
“Do you think you can just wander about looking for him when you don't even have any idea where he is?” Lord Shinado exclaimed. “In the midst of war when the slightest provocation could spark another full-scale battle? The forces of Light have set ambushes everywhere. Such a search is impossible!”
“I'm going with her,” Torihiko interjected. He had seemed engrossed in preening his feathers but he looked up and said, “I've sent out my troops and they're already wheeling through the sky looking for him.”
Lord Shinado frowned. “Torihiko, you're a military weapon we can't spare. Do you intend to desert your post?”
“All I have to do is fly back here to maintain contact,” the crow replied indifferently. “And, in case you've forgotten, it was for Saya's sake that I chose to stay in this world as a bird.”
Lord Akitsu gazed at Saya as if wondering what to do. “Can't you wait a little longer, just until things settle down? We can't afford to split up our forces at this time, yet I can't send you out without protection.”
“No, it can't wait. Please!” Saya leaned forward, pleading. “Let me go. If Torihiko comes with me, I can protect myself. I must leave now.
The longer I wait, the farther away he'll go.”
Lord Shinado broke in. “What on earth do you see in Chihaya, that Prince of Light, that monstrous Dragon? Granted, it was you who brought him to us in the first place, but of what use is this devotion which drives you to throw your life away in order to bring him back? You act like some love-struck maid running after her lover, blind to everything else.”
This remark was so unexpected that Saya could only gape at him in surprise. At that moment, she heard Lady Iwa's voice. The old woman had been sitting apart in a corner of the room, her eyes closed, listening. For the first time, she opened her eyes and looked at them. “That's right,” she said. “Saya is the Priestess of the Sword, and that's what it means to be priestess. A priestess is someone who can wed a god despite being of mortal frame.”
The blood rushed to Lord Shinado's face and there was anger in his voice. “Are you saying that the god Saya serves is Chihaya? I'll never accept that! Especially not such aâ”
“I didn't say he was the god she serves,” Lady Iwa interrupted swiftly. “But you must recognize that with the Sword between them, Chihaya and Saya form the opposing poles of one axis. They are like opposite sides of the same body. Whether they choose to give or to take, they seek in the other what they lack within themselves. Just as a god cannot exist without a priestess, so a priestess cannot exist without a god.”