Dragonkin (7 page)

She ran her hand along the dragon’s head. On impulse, she sat down in the crook of his leg and rested her head. Kestrel closed her eyes and imagined for a brief moment he was alive, the gentle thunder of his breathing that pushed her up and down when she leaned against his chest. Castigan would wrap her in his wings to keep her warm during the long sieges and when she had no tent. The first time she saw the large dragon swooping down at her from the skies, a little voice inside of her said not to be afraid of him. The villagers and her parents thought she would be eaten. She had stared up at him and known he wouldn’t hurt her. No force on Earth could have made her move when he landed in front of their house, careful not to disturb even the slightest tree or fencing her father had built for the livestock. She had been four when he came for her.

I’ve never understood how dragons choose their spellcasters. Even Castigan never fully knew. He just said one day he woke up and had an urge to fly somewhere. He kept flying until he found me. All part of the magic of this world, I guess.

“What am I going to do, Cas? I have feelings for Andrik. Then we wanted to take this slow. I wanted to take this slow. Which I admit is good. Now it’s been almost a month and nothing. My dreams are driving me mad. I can barely sleep some nights thinking about him. You’d come back with some snide remark that I shouldn’t have to wait on him and if I really wanted to knock boots to go find him. I’m not that girl anymore. That carefree one who dared defy the Athenaeum. I still have her temper, but I’ve learned to be very quiet and still. It’s helped. Of course that’s what got me here. Stopping and listening. You said to go back to the source. Here I am. Now Ralag has me training to use the power you gave me. Sometimes I feel less like myself when I’m engulfed in it. I’m afraid of what it’ll do to me. Maybe losing myself is a good thing. I’m clumsy with it, but he says I’ll get the hang of the power and the fire. He was surprised how well I could manipulate that. Years of burning inside of me, I guess. That was the one thing the Athenaeum had me use. I don’t think Simeon expected me to live. I didn’t either. Part of me had hoped it would all end and I could be with you. I know that’s not what you wanted. I don’t want that anymore. I want to live. I want to hear Andrik say my name. Have him desire me. Maybe even for a wife.”

“But I do want you.”

Kestrel stood up. Andrik stood on the other side of Castigan’s foot. Her eyes widened. “H-How long have you been here?”

He smiled a little. He wore nothing more than dark, billowing pants. His tanned, sculpted chest was exposed, showing three scars over his torso that could have been made with claws. His dark hair hung loose on his back. The sight of him stopped her breath. Flashes of warmth raced along her veins. The animation of what he would say or do next hung in the air. He was a god stepping out of the darkness to this world, and he had appeared before her.

“Long enough.”

“What did you hear?” She couldn’t meet his eyes.

He stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. His lips met hers in a fierce kiss. At the first touch of his flesh, she melted into him. Everything she had dreamed was right there within her grasp. The warmth of his skin only made her hotter. It stoked her desire and made her wet. His hands wound into her hair, and she felt wetness slipping along her cheeks. The tears were not hers. Andrik pulled away and pressed his forehead against hers. She searched his eyes, seeing his openness for the first time. The total opposite of how he had been when he first barged through her door.

“What’s the matter? What did I do? What did I say?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. Everything. I went up to your room, and you weren’t there. I had to find you and had a feeling you were here. I heard you talking. Everything you said turned my heart. And then you said you wanted me for a husband. Did I hear you right?”

Kestrel took his face in her hands. His skin was smooth against her palms. His expression was innocent and expectant. Seeing him before her, it seemed all of her dreams had come true, but she hadn’t expected to bare her soul to him.

“Yes, I said that, but I was venting. I don’t know. Where have you been these past few weeks? I’ve missed you.” She kissed his soft lips and rubbed her cheek against his. She trailed her hands down his chest, feeling his hard muscles. “Ralag’s been teaching me to use my powers. There were nights I dreamed about us. Together, making love. Other nights I thought you were in pain. I dreamed about you alone and raging. I couldn’t help you. I wanted to. Then morning came. And Ralag started the routine over again. We started out hot, and then we slowed. Then you were gone.”

She buried her face in his shoulder, inhaling the smoky aroma of his skin. Before she could help it, she began kissing his chest slowly, until she came to his nipple. She flicked her tongue over the pert bud. Her teeth grazed it. Andrik groaned. A deep rumble sounded in his chest that reminded her of Cas. To hear it again, she moved to the other nipple and did the same. The growl reverberated through her and made her even wetter. He guided her lips back to his and kissed her hungrily, parting her lips with tongue. She met it with her own, tasting him and touching until their bodies were so pressed together she could feel his erection poking against her thigh.

“I went away because I had to think. I needed to sort out my feelings for you. I had to detach from the past. I had to separate from you. I never meant it to hurt you. When you dreamed of me, I dreamed the same of you.”

She kissed the space above his heart and studied his eyes. “And what did you figure out?” Kestrel prayed the answer would go in her favor. The pull between them was definitely something more than she could fathom. If he was her dragon come back to her, then the gods had answered her prayers. What she felt with Andrik eclipsed anything she had ever experienced in her life.

He stroked her cheek. “That I can’t live my life without you. Whatever has brought us together has blessed us. I went to an ancient one among us, and she helped me relive my past. I was Castigan. His memories came alive to me. The feelings for you never died. I knew your smiling face when I first looked upon you as a child. The tears you had for me while my life dwindled away. She helped me divide them. In this lifetime, I never thought it possible to feel this way again. I’ve been given another chance. I feel the pull between us to mate. I was on my way back when I saw a band of thieves gathering near one of the towns. Many of the raiders know the local villagers are related to us. They think their blood is magical. It’s only human. I rushed in and stopped them. I was able to take out a few, but some of them got away. I made it back here as soon as I could and told Father. He’ll gather forces to take care of them.”

A bolt of fear ran through her. “Are you going with them?”

He shook his head and smoothed the hair from her face. “No. I’m staying here. I’m no use in human form. I can’t fight them like this. I can’t—” His body tensed against hers. He began to move away.

She turned his head toward her. “You’re of use to me. I need you, Andrik. I need you to make love to me.” Once she said it, there was no going back. The fire inside of her would consume her if she didn’t act upon the desire. The long nights of dreaming of him only made her lonely.

His expression softened. “I’ll give you whatever you want. It could be rough. Dragons can get carried away. I could hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

A devilish smile turned on her lips. “I can take the pain. I’ve been burned and spurned in the past. Besides, I can deal a few blows myself.”

Chapter Eight

“It’s not the pain I’m worried about.”

Kestrel understood the concern in his eyes. Pain didn’t bother her. She had come to appreciate it. Pain was part of the fire that lived inside of her. “Then what are you worried about?”

He looked away. “That I won’t be adequate for you. Ever since Lara died, I’ve tried to be with other women, but I wasn’t able to perform.”

Hurt twisted his expression. “Andrik, no matter what happens, I love you for you.” When the words slipped from her lips, she meant them. She loved him.

His face lit up. “You mean that? You love me?”

“Yes.”

He picked her up and spun her around. “The gods have answered my prayers. Come with me.”

He took hold of her wrist and led her through the maze of dragons and out a door she didn’t know was there. They emerged in a small corridor that wound up the mountain. No torches burned in the hall, but she could see from the balls of fire floating behind them. They stopped halfway up the tunnel. Andrik pressed a depression in the wall, and it turned. He moved through the opening.

“This was fashioned in the old days in case there was ever a siege on the mountain. The crypt below contains another passage that leads to an underground river that will eventually join with the sea. It weaves through the mountain range. My ancestors carved it out. It flows east for miles. Not many know about it. All the entrances are guarded by other dragons. Come.” He motioned her inside.

Once she entered, the wall rotated and closed so she would have never known there was a doorway. Inside, the room was decorated with a plush rug on the stone floor, shelves overflowed with books, and there was a couch to sit on. He took her arm and led her through another entry that revealed his bed. It nearly filled the room. A window let her know they were high up in the mountain. She heard the other door close, and when it did, the lights in the room burst on. The colors on the bed were reds and golds.

He stood by the bed and beckoned her forward. She walked slowly, glancing at him to see what he would do. The firelight flickered off his face. Seeing him there she wondered if Castigan would have looked like him if he were human.
I can’t think that way. He’s one and the same. I can’t be daydreaming about the past. I want him for him.

“What’s the matter? You don’t want to do this after all?”

“Of course I do. I just need to say something, and I’m not sure how to say it.”

He slipped arm around her waist. “Tell me anything you want. I won’t be offended. I know this isn’t the typical situation most mates have.”

“Mate? Are you sure?”

He pushed a tendril of hair behind her ear. “What else would you be to me? You were marked in the past for it. And I would mark you again in this lifetime if you let me. Although I don’t want to scare you. What’s on your mind?”

“I know your soul is Castigan’s, but you are you. Would it be selfish to ask you to see if I could talk to him? If that’s possible?”

“It’s important to you.”

She nodded.

“Okay. I’ll try to do this.” He searched her gaze and nodded.

“I understand if it doesn’t work.”

He sat on the bed and crossed his legs. She sat across from him. Andrik took a deep breath and closed his eyes. After a few more breaths, the tension drained from his face. His eyes began to flutter. His features shifted to a little more reptilian. He took in another breath and grumbled. His eyes opened. The irises had changed color to the same emerald as Castigan’s.

“Cas?”

He lunged forward and stopped inches from her face. He inhaled, and then his hand was around her throat, holding her in place, before she could react. “What human are you to call me that?”

She slid her hand over his. “One who has missed you very much. You know who I am, don’t you?”

His eyes didn’t register that he knew her. The pressure on her throat increased. Kestrel searched her mind and knew the one thing that would get his attention. It always did. “With the wind under my wings, we’ll fly away. My fire burns hot and bright only to warm you in the night. We’ll ride the currents and glide away until the end of time.”

His eyes widened. “Kes.” He released her.

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“This isn’t right. You can’t awaken me and expect my other half to remain in a trance pushed aside.”

“I don’t want that. I just wanted to talk to you for a moment. To say thank you. That’s all. You gave me another chance to live. And because of it, I met Andrik. Whether you are him or he is you or vice versa, it doesn’t matter. I-I just wanted to know if you were happy.”

He smiled. “I’m happy if you’re happy. That was all I ever wanted. May I ask one thing before I go?”

She nodded. “Anything.”

“Let me hold you just once.”

Tears lined her eyes as she went into the circle of his arms. Time stopped. Frozen in the dragon’s arms as her long-lost friend held her, she was at peace. He tightened his grip on her, and she felt him brush his lips across her head. The steady sound of his heart was the one she was used to. It brought her back to when he would hold her close and she would stroke his head. He began to a hum a tune that would soothe her when she was a child. She rocked back and forth in his arms for a few precious seconds, and then he lifted her face to his.

“I love you. All my years as a dragon, I loved you. You’d rib me about finding a mate, but all I wanted was you. Andrik loves you, too, only in a different way. We’re one and the same, he and I. I’m your past, and he’s your future. Our shared soul has been torn to shreds because of the events of our two lives. But the gods brought me back to give me another chance with you. Know that I’m here. A part of him. Whatever you say, I’ll hear. Be kind to him. He needs your love more than you know. I have to go now, little bird.”

She felt the dragon recede from Andrik’s body. Kestrel thought she would be heartbroken again, but she wasn’t. The serenity she had always wanted was with her now. She had said her good-byes, and he was always going to be with her.

He blinked. “Dragon’s teeth. Did I hurt you?”

He started to pull away from her, but she caught his arm. “No. You didn’t hurt me.” She rested a hand on his face and felt the fight drain from him. “You gave me the best gift I ever could have asked for.” She leaned in and kissed him lightly. She dragged her tongue across his bottom lip and let her free hand rove over his flat belly. “Make love to me, Andrik.”

His nails dragged down her back. She heard the rip of fabric and the rake of his nails along her flesh. Andrik’s hands slid under her and scooped her up until she was straddling him. His cock pressed against the fabric of her undergarments. The heat of his body went through the thin material of her nightdress and warmed her. His hands clutched her ass and trailed along her back. Kestrel kissed him again, this time crushing her lips to his hungrily, wanting to taste all of him. She delved her hand under the waistband of his pants and stroked his hard shaft. He broke the kiss and watched her. Kestrel began to stroke him slowly, enjoying the shape of his dick. He made no move to stop her. She shimmied along his body and pulled down his pants to reveal his cock.