Draw Me Close (12 page)

When Derek had ended things Melanie had been the first person Lindsey told. Looking back, it might have been a mistake. “Screw him,” she'd said. “He's an asshole and he doesn't deserve to breathe your air.” But even though Mel was on Lindsey's side, she'd never understood why she was so devastated when the guy clearly didn't deserve Lindsey's tears. That was easy for strong-as-steel Melanie to say, but it had hurt Lindsey, made her feel weak.

“Is something going on?” ever-intuitive Melanie asked as she picked Eden up, sat, and then leaned in the opposite direction. Eden let out a wail and Melanie shushed her as she adjusted her breast so Eden could get back to her breakfast. Lindsey hoped that during the interruption of switching sides, Melanie would let her question drop.

“Okay, so tell me what's wrong,” Melanie said as she got situated. All right, so she wasn't dropping it. Lindsey could handle this. And honestly, if she was interested in being strong, standing up for herself, then it had to start with her very own sister. She didn't need to apologize or explain anything about her life.

“Nothing's …
wrong.
Exactly,” Lindsey said, not making eye contact. So apparently being strong was easier said than done. There was always the option of lying and not telling Mel. But Lindsey couldn't imagine how that would work. Mel and Brett were invited to Anne's wedding, so she was bound to recognize Derek. And then Lindsey really needed her sister's advice.

“Sis, I can see something is up with you. Spill.”

Lindsey sighed. Might as well rip it off like a Band-Aid. “So … I didn't tell you, but last fall, I ran into Derek Walsh again.”

Melanie was quiet for a moment, then her eyes narrowed. “Do you mean frat-boy asshole Derek Walsh?”

“The one and only.”

“And by ran into, you mean…”

“You know Mike, Anne's fiancé? Well, it just so happens that he and Derek are best friends.”

“And you're just now telling me this?” Surprisingly she didn't sound too annoyed. “Have you spoken with him?”

Lindsey hesitated.

“You have.” Melanie sighed. “I can't believe you didn't tell me.”

“I know, Mel. It's just … I was kind of hoping to treat it like a nonissue. I've been trying to avoid him, but it's tough. He's working on the house also. He's the contractor.”

Mel's mouth dropped open. “Linds…”

“I know, I know. He was there yesterday when we were sledding. He's actually the one who took me to the emergency room.”

“What?” Mel said in exasperation. “I can't believe this. All of this happening and I had no idea?”

“I'm sorry, Mel.” Lindsey shrugged her good side. “When I first saw him last fall you were pregnant, everything was about the baby, and then Eden was born and everything was still about her. I'm not complaining … I'm just saying, it didn't seem important. I figured dwelling on it would just make it a bigger deal. I wanted—and I still want—the whole thing to be nothing at all.”

“Jesus, Lindsey. I think I could have handled making things about you for five minutes. I mean, this guy had you in the fetal position for weeks,” Melanie said, a bit of hurt in her voice.

Lindsey cringed at the reminder of that horrible time in her life. Of course, that was the part Mel would remember best. Who wouldn't, she'd been a complete wreck. “I guess I just really didn't want to discuss it. But that has become impossible since I keep running into him everywhere.”

Melanie sighed and looked down at Eden, who had nearly drifted back to sleep, then lifted her eyes back up to Lindsey. “Has he been nice?”

“Well … yeah.” And he had been. Too nice. Even considering that yesterday she'd discovered that he was not only the jerk that dumped her, but also a liar. Lindsey chose to keep the news about Tanner to herself. Mel would flip, tell Lindsey how she should react. She couldn't handle that right now. She needed to figure this out on her own.

“Is he still hot? I can see him being one of those guys that actually gets hotter as the years go by.”

Lindsey smiled. These were the conversations she enjoyed having with her sister. And of course Derek was still hot, but she didn't even want to admit it out loud. The man had been gorgeous when she'd met him, and Mel was right, age only seemed to favor him. The small lines that creased the corners of his eyes were sexy, his shoulders were broader, and his legs fuller. Derek had put on manly bulk in all the right places.

“I'm gonna take that look as a yes. Dick,” Melanie said, sitting up on the bed. She tightened the robe around her waist, crossed her legs, and rested a satisfied Eden on the comforter in front of her. Without having to be told, Lindsey stood up and grabbed a diaper and wipes off the nightstand to hand over to her sister.

“What kind of car does he drive?” Melanie asked as she unsnapped Eden's onesie.

Lindsey knew her answer would annoy her sister. “Well, he has a big-ass work truck, and when I first saw him again he was driving a Mercedes. Clearly being an architect is working out for him.”

Mel's arms drooped and she rolled her eyes. “So typical. Well, you keep him in check. He does one thing to hurt you and I'll lose it. I'm not kidding. I got a dozen eggs and a crowbar with Derek's Mercedes written all over it.”

“I can handle this, Mel.”

Her sister's eyes softened. “I know you can. But I'm a reactor. You're always so levelheaded and understanding. Maybe it's good. Now you can erase the fantasy of him from your mind. He's just a man, like all the others. He doesn't have a hold on your emotions any longer.”

After a while Lindsey stood up and headed back to her room. She was thankful for her sister's love and support. Needed it. But she wished she felt as levelheaded as Mel seemed to think she was. Lindsey wanted to be that woman, but it was almost as if Derek's return to her life reminded her of how bad being low could feel. And Mel was also wrong, because Lindsey's emotions about her and Derek's breakup did still feel like they were holding her hostage.

She was so fearful of losing herself the way she had back then. Hated that for so many years she'd been naïve, allowing people to treat her as a pushover. The new Lindsey deserved—and would demand—more. She'd just have to fake it till she made it.

*   *   *

Later that morning Lindsey headed north into Preston. After dropping off a few smaller items at Sweet Opal for consignment, she walked down to Callie's Confections. The bakery was owned by her friend and fellow blogger Callie. Lindsey was in the mood for some of the baker's perfect coffee and Callie's amazing cinnamon rolls.

A bell jingled over Lindsey's head as she stepped in the door. Instantly she was met with the scent of cinnamon and sugar. She inhaled deeply and sat down at a table off to the side. Callie gave her a wave as she helped the next person in line.

After a few minutes Callie joined her at the table, setting a cinnamon roll and a to-go coffee cup in front of Lindsey.

“I hate to be presumptuous but…” Callie said with a grin.

“Nope, you're right, I definitely wanted that.” Lindsey picked up the cup and made to get up before Callie stopped her.

“I totally forgot you were one-armed.” Callie stood up and snatched the cup back. “I got you, girl.”

Lindsey smiled as she watched Callie saunter over to the little blue buffet she used as a coffee station.

“Vanilla or cinnamon?” Callie called over her shoulder.

“Vanilla sounds good.”

A moment later Callie walked back and set the steaming cup in front of Lindsey. “So Anne told me all about it. God, what a crock. And with Derek of all people. Anne said he looked completely devastated.”

Lindsey shook her head a little. “I don't know about devastated but he definitely felt bad. It was an accident.” The conversation reminded Lindsey that she should return Anne's call. They had spoken briefly after Derek had dropped her off. Anne had wanted to make sure everything was okay but Lindsey barely remembered the conversation she'd been so tired.

“So how's this gonna go with you working on the house?” Callie asked. There was no irritation in her voice, even though Lindsey felt so guilty for being injured and unable to do her part of the work the way she'd planned. “I'm happy to help when you need it. Basketball season is over so there aren't as many performances for the girls.”

In addition to owning the bakery and blogging, Callie also coached the local high school's dance team. She was a workaholic and Lindsey wasn't exactly sure how she managed to do it all and spend time with her boyfriend. There was no way she could ask Callie for help.

“No, I'll figure this out.”

“Linds, you are down to one arm,” Callie said, emphasizing the last two words. She then gave Lindsey the Callie look. The one that said
Are we seriously having this conversation right now?
“You're gonna need help.”

Lindsey smiled and shook her head. “You have like eighteen jobs, and Bennett to think about.”

Callie grinned at her boyfriend's name. “That boy does keep me very busy.”

Holding up a hand Lindsey went on. “No details please. Anyway, you're busy, Anne's busy planning a wedding and running the blog.”

“Sometimes life gets crazy. But we take care of each other.” Callie picked up Lindsey's coffee and took a drink. Lindsey appreciated Callie's words more than she'd ever know, but there was another option.

“Would you think
I'm
crazy if I accepted an offer of help from Derek?”

Almost spitting the hot coffee on Lindsey, Callie swallowed and then grinned before she answered. “I think you'd be crazy not to. And I knew it. That broken arm is your kismet.”

“Well, it's not broken so—”

Callie waved that information away like it was completely inconsequential. “You're in a cast for goodness' sake.”

“It's technically a brace but—”

Callie groaned. “Lindsey. Stop fighting this. Definitely accept Derek's offer to help you. I mean not because I don't want to help. I'm totally your girl if you need me. But … this could be good. If nothing else it could be closure or something. Anne and Mike would be so happy to know that you guys had come to some sort of understanding. Anne hates for you to be uncomfortable.”

Lindsey sighed. She'd known two things before she'd stepped into Callie's bakery. One, that she was going to accept Derek's offer. And two, that Callie would say exactly what she'd just said. And that was what Lindsey had needed to hear. But there was also something she needed to share with her friend.

“You know, he broke up with me because of his son. His—now ex-wife—was pregnant.”

Callie's eyes went wide and she leaned forward. “Oh my God. Did you just now find out? I thought you knew he had a son. Didn't we discuss that?”

“Oh yes, I did know. But … I just assumed he'd broken up with me and eventually had a baby. I never dreamed it was part of the equation.”

Callie sagged into her chair. “Damn. So he was seeing you and someone else?”

Lindsey shook her head. “No. I mean, he says he wasn't. I guess he'd broken up with his longtime girlfriend when he met me.”

“Do you believe him?”

Did she? The first answer to come to mind was yes. She couldn't explain why. Whether it was just hope or blind trust. She wasn't sure but the answer was the same. “Yes. I do.”

Callie nodded, obviously thinking. “Derek doesn't strike me as a cheater but sometimes they can surprise you. If you believe him then I do too.”

Lindsey nodded and then Callie went on. “So when he found out she was pregnant he broke things off with you because he thought it was the right thing to do? Marrying her.”

“Yep. I still wish he would have just told me that then.”

Callie gave Lindsey a sincere look. “Sweetie, would that really have made it any better?”

“No. It wouldn't have. But I still deserved the truth.” Lindsey took a drink of the now communal cup of coffee.

“Well, I won't argue with you there. But people do stupid things when they're overwhelmed by emotional situations. And sometimes it requires us to forgive them. Trust me, I know.”

Lindsey smiled in understanding. “I know. I'm not looking for a relationship with him. Definitely not. But it would be nice to not have to hate him. Especially with the wedding coming up. I bet after that—and the house being done—we really won't see each other too much.”

Callie didn't look convinced. She gave Lindsey a teasing smile. “I guess only time will tell.”

 

Eight

Derek held the phone away from his mouth and sighed. He listened as Lisa went on about how inconvenient it was for her to have to rearrange her plans so Derek could have Tanner the weekend of Anne and Mike's wedding.

At this point her arguments were getting ridiculous. She'd just tried to tell him that Tanner would be traumatized by walking down the aisle. This was what happened when Lisa started to feel out of control. Desperate. She was willing to try any tactic. It would be helpful if he could figure out what she was so afraid of, because he'd never given her any reason to believe he would take Tanner from
her.
That wasn't his style. He knew his son needed his mother. He only wished she'd acknowledge that their son also needed his father.

“Lisa, listen.” Derek sat up straight in his chair. “I don't ever make demands of you, but my best friend is getting married and he would like my son to be his ring bearer. I will be damned if I have to tell him my ex-wife will not allow that to happen.”

Getting nasty with Lisa was a risky move. In fact, he was pretty damn sure he was going to pay for this.

“Fine,” she finally replied. “I guess you'll owe me then when it's time for
my
wedding.”