Authors: Shayna Corinne
Tags: #dreams, #christian, #finding yourself, #lust and love
“
Nerves! We’ve been
together for two years and I have nerves?”
He thinks to himself.
He shakes his head in disbelief, as he
slowly makes his way to the beat-in orange couch that she and he
had found at some flea market a few months ago. Melody’s head turns
from the coffee stained notebook in her lap up towards
him.
“
Aren’t you going to play
me something?” she asks.
She drops his song book on his knee,
the sound of abused paper echoing through the apartment as he
lowers himself onto the couch, picking up the tanned guitar against
the edge of the coffee table. Melody sprawls out on the opposite
side of the couch from him, picking at the frayed stitching around
the armrest; her skin tickles from the uninterrupted gaze from
Sam.
She playfully shoves her heel into the
side of his denim covered thigh. “Stop!”
His cheeks warm as he sits his guitar
back down, pulling on her foot instead of playing with the taught
strings of his guitar. “I love you.” his voice practically
sings.
The mischievous smile
drops from Melody’s face. She has heard him say that a million
times before, but this time something inside of her wants to break,
bleed and cry. Sam leans over the top of her, his arms on either
side of her shoulders. Nothing about the way he looks at her is
domineering or filled by fiery passion like it is with Adam, but
instead it’s over flowing with pure love and admiration. Melody
pushes Sam’s hair off his forehead, the woodsy scent of his shampoo
falls upon her.
“
I know… I know…” her voice
cracks in time with the slight trembling of her hands against his
cheek.
He dips down and kisses her, soft and
uncertain, like the first time he had kissed her.
Chapter Six
The hairs on the back of Adam’s neck
stand on end, like they always do when she arrives. There’s
something about her today though, something about the way she pulls
away at his touch that puts him under the impression that something
is wrong.
“
Melody,” he breathes as he
brushes her curly red hair off of her soft freckled cheek, “Why
aren’t you kissing me back?”
Melody’s eyes bounce around his face as
she nibbles nervously on her bottom lip. She pulls back, running
her fingers from her scalp to tip of her hair.
“
I-I can’t do this anymore,
Adam.” she stammers.
He reaches for her chin, pulling her
focus back to him. “You don’t mean that.”
She pulls away, shaking her head as she
pulls the golden chain from the inside of her shirt. “Yes I do.
These dreams they have to stop, you’re just a figment of my
imagination for crying out loud! But I feel like this is somehow me
being unfaithful to Sam and…”
Adam’s heart pounds as bile
works its way up his throat, he looks over the heart pendant. “But
I'm
not
just a
figment of your imagination.” he says.
Melody stands back, taking
the heart from Adam’s soft hands. “
Yes
you are. I was just lonely while
he was gone, so I made you up to keep me from missing him so
much.”
Adam grabs the heart pendant again,
tugging the chain against the back of Melody’s neck; he resists the
urge to break it free from her completely.
“
S?” his voice
croaks.
She nods, her fingers clawing for the
heart. “Yes, Sam, my boyfriend whom I just happen to love very
much,” she blushes, “And he loves me too. Read what he had engraved
in the heart.”
Adam runs his fingers across the silver
letters, the lump growing in his throat begins to block his air
way. “No… this…” his eyes moisten as he yanks harder on the chain,
his voice dropping to a whisper, “You don’t know what you have
done.”
Melody squeezes her eye lids shut,
willing the white tornado to suck her away from this nightmare. She
hears Adam let out a heartbreaking scream before the icy wind grips
her soul and pulls her back home.
“
I'm crazy!” Melody yells as
she runs her hand around the back of her neck after awaking from
her dream “I mean come on! It was just a dream… but why does it
feel like there’s a piece missing from me now?”
Her fingers search for the golden
chain, something for her to cling to that is real. Her fingers run
across the indents of where the chain had been pressing against her
skin, but nothing but a few stray hairs and skin are there; her
heart pounds when she realizes that the chain is gone. She jumps
off of the bed, flipping the lavender sheets back and forth;
nothing.
“
This is starting to creep
me out. I must have left it there… but how is that possible? I mean
it was a dream… right?” she asks aloud to herself.
Sam.
She has to talk to Sam about
this, all of it, maybe he’ll know if she’s going crazy or not. She
throws on her gray hoodie, shoving her feet into her purple and
black running shoes. She doesn’t care if she is in her PJs;
she
needs
to talk
to him…
now
.
She runs down the back stairs, not
bothering to lock the door behind her, her arms shake as she heaves
the barred door open before her feet hit the wet pavement. Icy wind
and rain beat down on her as she runs, taking sharp turns, sliding
to halts before she runs into lamp posts. Her lungs scream for the
jagged air that she’s breathing in, but she ignores it; her teeth
clinking together each time her feet pound on the pavement. Tears
are the only thing keeping her frozen face warm as she jogs up the
stairs to his building. She jiggles the lock on the front of the
building, bursting into the lobby. The ends of her plaid pajama
bottoms slap against the concrete steps with their muddy ends as
she jogs up the six flights of stairs to his floor; her shoes make
squishing as they hit the carpet, leaving muddy tracks behind her
as she runs down the hall way. Her leg muscles burn as she comes to
a halt in front of his door, her cold fingers riffling through the
pocket of her pajama bottoms where she had thrown her key chain,
sighing with relief as she shoves the jagged toothed key into the
gold painted handle. She must have made enough noise to wake Sam,
because he was slowly coming down the hall from his bedroom when
she swings the door open.
He walks, sluggishly, over to her in
his boxers, massaging his eyes as they try to get used to the
bright light that shines in from the big bay windows. Melody
trembles, the adrenalin has left her and the realization of how
stupid it was to run five blocks in the pouring rain is finally
dawning on her. Sam stands within a few inches from her, stretching
his arms above his head.
“
Is this when you usually
come to feed my fish?” he jokes, always welcome to her random time
in visits, but once the light hits her face he stops
smiling.
Her face is white except for the few
blotches of red from the run, as Sam looks more he notices that the
ends of her hair are dripping water all over his wood floor. He
goes to pull her in for a hug when he notices the veins in her eyes
are panicked and ready to release tears at any moment.
“
Wait, why are you crying?”
he asks, his voice is tinged with worry.
“
I’m still crying?”
she thinks to herself as she pushes the tears
away.
Sam pulls her tight against his bare
chest, running his hands up and down her arms to warm her. She
sniffs, pulling away from him, not enough to cease contact but
enough to look into his eyes.
“
I need to tell you
something.” she announces, hoping her courage hasn’t left
her.
He wraps his strong right arm around
her side, the floor creaking as he walks her over to the
couch.
They sit down on the orange couch. She
runs her hand back and forth on its worn-in fabric with the small
black swirls embroidered on the arms.
“
For starters, I love you,”
she says.
Sam gives a smile out of the crook of
his mouth. She could be on the side of the road, lice running
around her scalp and her skin red, cracked and bleeding and he
would still look at her like she was the most beautiful thing he
has ever seen.
She continues, her heart pounding like
it was trying to cut loose of her chest before she can break it, “I
don’t know what’s going on but…I have, um, been having these dreams
and in them I'm in love with a guy that’s not you.” she says,
waiting for him to get angry, but he keeps his face open and
ready.
He pulls her closer to him, pushing her
wet hair away from her face. “It’s just a dream. We all have
them.” he assures her.
Melody shakes her head,
pressing her hands against his chest as she pulls back. “But it
felt so
real
, I
really had feelings for him and tonight when I fell asleep I dreamt
of him again… I showed him the necklace that you gave me then said
that you loved me and I love you and…” she touches her neck, “He
has the necklace.”
Sam shakes his head, looking down at
her neck as if maybe she missed it somehow. “That’s crazy!
Did you check your sheets?”
She nods, sitting back and feeling
around every part of her face where Adam had touched her. Sam’s
face goes pale, even more pale than usual, as he stands up, putting
his hands behind his head. “I-I don’t know what to say. I’m just
kina freaked out right now.”
She reaches her hand out,
touching the wrinkles in his elbow, trying to coax him back to her.
“You don’t understand how freaked out
I
am right now.”
He sits back down beside her, running
his fingers through his hair. “Did you ever…um… dream sleep with
him?” he asks, uncomfortably.
She grabs his chin, pulling
it so he’s face to face with her. “
No
. I never let myself go that far,”
she lets go of his face, dropping her hands in her lap, “But we
did, uh, make out? I’m sorry Sam; I don’t know what got into me.
Whenever he would kiss me I would forget about you and suddenly
just want to be with him. I am
so
sorry.”
He touches her cheek with his thumb,
feeling the trail where the tears had rolled down her cheek. “You
don’t have to apologize; it’s just some weird thing you know? Like
why you? Not that there’s a good reason not to pick you… it just
confuses me.”
She nods, dropping
her head on his chest before he sees her cry again. Sam holds her
tighter, his breath catching as he leans back against the
couch.
“
Stay here tonight.
It’s late and you’re upset, so please stay.” Sam offers, his face
pressed against her shoulder.
Melody nods, pulling her legs up onto
the couch, pressing her cheek against Sam’s chest. It doesn’t take
long before both of them drift off to sleep.
Chapter Seven
Melody has gotten used to the spinning
and pulling of the dream, but it takes Sam by surprise, making his
stomach sick and his head pound. Melody opens her eyes to find
herself in Adam’s living room. She looks to her left, where Sam
leans forward, holding his stomach in pain. She rushes to his side,
running her hand up and down his spine.
“
It makes you sick the
first time. Give it a few seconds you’ll be fine.” she
whispers.
He takes three big
breaths of the minty air, his back shaking as he stands up
straight. Melody holds a finger to her lips, motioning him to be
quiet while she walks over to the kitchen, peeking down the
hallway.
“
Adam! Are you here?” she
calls out.
Something crashes against the floor,
making Sam and Melody jump.
“
I’m in here!” Adam calls
back.
She runs her hand
down the blood red wall as she walks to Adam’s bedroom, but he
meets her in the hall, his back towards Sam. He holds the heart
necklace in his left hand, holding it back just enough so she can’t
take it from him. He looks down at her with those intense blue eyes
that are transparent enough to show the burning passion in his
soul.
“
Do you
really
love him?” Adam
asks as he comes closer to Melody, studying her face as though he
can read her mind.
She carefully nods, reaching her
shaking hand out for the chain.
He takes his index finger and traces
out her lips; he looks at her, staring deep into her indigo eyes
until she can feel him taking control.
“
Are you
sure
?” he asks one more time as he
lets his finger slide down her neck as he comes in to kiss
her.
She can still see Sam out of the corner
of her eye, she can still see his eyes plead for her to step away
from Adam, but for some reason she doesn’t care; she kisses Adam;
he pushes her up against the wall and kisses her harder. Sam’s
heart pounds against his chest, his eyes seeing spots of red before
he runs over to them, fists balled at his side with his blood
burning through his veins, cursing at himself for letting it get to
this point.
He grabs a fist full of Adam’s shirt
and yanks him off of Melody, flipping Adam around and shoving him
against the wall in one swift motion. Sam’s fury is making his head
pound even harder than when he first arrived here.