Dream Kisses (Romance on the Ranch Series #1) (12 page)

Sarah
purposely kept her mind blank. She couldn't face the depth of her passion for
this man. Numbly, she closed her eyes and willed her erratic pulse to even out.

"The
wagons are beyond those trees." He pointed.

Before
reaching the trees, she felt wet warmth on her neck below her ear where Sage
was kissing her. Unable to stop herself, she leaned backwards against him. He
said, "We'll finish this later."

Dismounting,
he grabbed the reins of Jackel and led the horse and Sarah back to camp.

Sarah's
body swayed with the motion of the wagon. She sat on a blanket in the back, not
wanting to show her face ever again. Being led into camp on Jackel was probably
the most humiliating experience of her life. Most of the pioneers had rushed
forward with genuine concern for her safety. Sage had tried to defend her
stupidity by saying she'd taken a wrong turn and gotten lost and it could have
happened to anyone. While he'd helped her off the horse, she'd glimpsed the
twins behind him. One of them had looked concerned, the other livid.

The
wagon stopped and Julie, who was now riding next to Ned, turned around.
"Looks like we're breaking for camp." Jill and Flo jumped off the
back of the wagon and waited for Sarah.

"I…I
think I'll rest some more."

Flo
gave her a concerned look. "If you need anything, just let me or Jill
know."

"Thanks,
Flo." Sarah leaned her spine against the wooden support of the canvas. As
soon as they reached the Lazy M, she was out of there. She'd pay a car company
whatever the cost to have them deliver a rental. The fact that she'd feel bad
about leaving abruptly, no longer held sway. She could feel bad for eternity
and it wouldn't change her mind. Remembering her behavior with Sage mortified
her. He had to think she was starved for affection—which she was. Admitting
that sad state of affairs made her eyes sting. A face popped through the
opening at the back of the wagon. Ann said, "Sarah, are you okay? I was so
worried about you."

"Thanks,
Ann. That's sweet. Yes, I'm fine. Just tired."

"Can
I come up and sit with you a minute?"

"Of
course."

Ann
climbed into the wagon and sat on a folded blanket in front of Sarah.
"Umm, Sarah, maybe this is none of my business, but I think I should tell
you something."

Sarah
looked at her, feeling concern for her new friend.

Ann
played with a fold on her calico skirt.

"What's
wrong, Ann? Is everything okay with your family?"

"Ah,
not really. But that's not what I want to talk about. I…ah…want to talk about
Sage."

Sarah
gave her a quizzed look.

"I
know we haven't known each other very long, but I feel like I should say
something."

Sarah
wondered if Ann was going to warn her that he was a "player" and to
watch her heart.
Too late for that.

Ann
said, "Sage is crazy about you."

Sarah's
jaw dropped.

Ann
continued. "The way he looks at you is…is…so romantic. But…but…I think
you…"

Sarah
squinted, willing Ann to continue.

Ann
said in a rush, "But I think you think like I think and can't believe
someone so…so…sexy, can have feelings for you. What I want to say is—if I were
in your shoes, because I know the way I think, I wouldn't believe it, but
because we think alike, I'm able to give you this advice—I'm making a mess of
this—but I'd go for it and give him a chance. He
really
cares for
you!"

Sarah
covered her friend's hand tracing the calico pattern on her skirt. Ann looked
up and Sarah couldn't help the fat tears leaking from her eyes.

Ann
said, "Aw, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry."

Sarah
sniffed, "It's just that I'm such an emotional mess. I don't know why
anyone would want me. I'm still carrying baggage from a failed marriage."

Ann
hugged her. "I think Sage is seeing the real you beneath all that."

"Do
you really think he likes me—
like that?"
Sarah whispered.

"Yes,
he likes you
like that.
I don't know what happened, but when he found
out you were missing, he went ballistic. I saw him pull Mandy aside and he had
her in tears."

Sarah
choked, "You can tell the twins apart?"

"Yep,
I figured it out the first day. Mandy's got shifty eyes."

Sarah
laughed in spite of her misery, then whispered, "Ann, he kissed me and
I…I…sort of went crazy all over him."

Ann
squeezed her hand. "Now I understand why he's wearing a shit-eating grin.
I was hoping something like that happened."

"What
should I do now?"

"Sarah,
you're a woman. You'll figure it out."

"Ann…"

"Yes?"

"Thank
you."

Ann
gave Sarah's hand a final squeeze. "Gotta go find my cranky husband."
She sounded sad.

After
Ann left, Sarah found a water bottle and dampened a cloth to freshen up as best
she could. Pioneer life was becoming a drag. She opened the chest with the pioneer
clothing and removed her second costume, the pretty lavender day dress with an
empire waist, crisp white collar, and white pearl buttons down the front. She
rifled through her toiletries bag until she found her compact and, using the
small mirror, applied blusher, eye shadow, eyebrow pencil, and lipstick. Her
eyes still looked puffy, but there was nothing she could do about it. Rinsing
her mouth with mouthwash, she climbed out of the wagon and walked to the far
side to spit it out. She felt better.

Returning
to the interior of the camp, she chewed her bottom lip. Several pioneers were
visiting in the center and others were relaxing beside their wagons. Even
though she didn't see Sage, the butterflies in her stomach started multiplying
exponentially.

Mrs.
Tully, sitting on a makeshift bench outside her own wagon, waved and motioned
her over.

Inhaling
deeply, Sarah cut across the camp to the opposite side. Several people asked
about her welfare or expressed how glad they were that she was okay. She nodded
and thanked them. She avoided looking at the twins. Mrs. Tully patted the spot
next to her and Sarah sat down.

For
the next half hour, she listened to Mrs. Tully and watched camp life. Curley lit
a fire and started preparing supper with his helpers. Sarah didn't have to
wonder for long about what they would be eating. He hung a pot over the flame
while ranch hands opened cans of stew. What she wouldn't give for a crisp
garden salad.

Suddenly,
Sage circled one of the wagons and walked into camp. She could literally
feel
his presence. She remembered his words:
I want our first time to be special.
Sarah's heart beat so fast she felt dizzy and the world looked fuzzy. Was she
going to faint? Sage must have also sensed her presence because he looked
directly at her. Even from a distance, his eyes smoldered.

Oh
God, I am going to faint.
She dug her nails into the rough wood of the bench to keep
from falling.

Mrs.
Tully leaned toward her. "Sarah, I think our wagon master has feelings for
you."

Sarah
looked at the elderly woman. "Really?" Her heart sang. Even Mrs.
Tully had noticed something.

"Oh,
yes, dear." She grinned. "Now
my
Mr. Tully, he was just like
that when he was that age." She giggled, "Still is."

Sarah
couldn't help but giggle with her.

During
supper, Sage excused himself from the pioneers while he communicated ranch
business via walkie-talkie. She heard him say, "Move the herd to the south
pasture. Send Bobby Joe to repair the north fence and then move the herd
back." She remembered him saying that running a cattle ranch was a lot of
work.

After
sundown, while everyone sat around the campfire, Newt told ghost stories. He
was an excellent storyteller and Sarah sat riveted, letting out a shriek with
the other women and children when he got to the surprise scary part. She looked
at Sage leaning against the chow wagon watching her. She shyly smiled at him.
The way he was always watching her, maybe he
did
have feelings for her.
Later, she climbed into her wagon and settled into her sleeping bag feeling
exhausted, but lighthearted.

* * *

Sarah's
heart raced and her eyes popped open. She clutched her throat, willing herself
to calm down.
No, no, not a panic attack! I haven't had one in years!
Even
though she recognized the symptoms, she was helpless to stop them. Terror and
overwhelming anxiety seized her physically and emotionally. As quietly as she
could, she pushed out of her sleeping bag and tried to muffle her erratic
breathing. Easing past Julie, she lifted the canvas flap and lowered her legs
over the edge of the wagon, jumping to the ground and running full out toward
the looming shapes of tall trees. Ignoring the pain of rocks and rough ground
under her feet, she held her throat and just ran.
When is it going to stop?

She
heard movement behind her and ran faster.
Panic attack…panic attack…breathe
Sarah…breathe Sarah.
She ran past the tree line just as arms encircled her.
She opened her mouth to scream, but a hand clamped over it. Struggling against
an immovable force, terror seized her and she fought like a wild cat.

* * *

Sage
held Sarah in an iron grip. Something was wrong. She struggled like her life
depended on it. He tried to gain her attention by speaking her name low, but
she was either ignoring him or wasn't hearing him. He didn't dare take his hand
off her mouth. If she screamed, the whole camp would be on them. She'd already
suffered enough embarrassment. He held her against him with one hand over her
mouth and the other immobilizing her. He tried talking in her ear again.

"Sarah…Sarah…it's
Sage. Honey, what's wrong. Mims…Sarah…stop fighting me." She suddenly went
still and he continued speaking. "Sarah, can you hear me?"

She
nodded.

"Are
you going to scream if I take my hand off your mouth?"

She
shook her head.

Slowly,
he lifted his hand and she slumped against him as if her legs could no longer
hold her. He lowered her to a seated position. Her head hung forward. He laid
her backwards on the ground and knelt over her. She was as limp as a rag doll.

Smoothing
one hand down her cheek he gently lifted her head with his other. Her eyes were
closed.

"Look
at me, Sarah." She did not open her eyes.

More
forcefully, he said, "Sarah, look at me!"

As
if with great effort, she lifted her eyelids. Moonlight captured tears leaking
from them.

"Baby,
what's wrong?"

She
spoke so low he had to lean closer to hear. "…panic attack." More
tears streamed.

"Oh,
sweetheart." He lay down beside her and turned her into his arms. Her body
shook with quiet sobs while he held her close and whispered comforting words.

Finally,
her shudders ceased and she reached to place her palms on his chest. He lifted
his upper body and looked down at her. She said, "I'm so sorry. I…I
haven't had an attack in years and I…I couldn't help…I'm sorry."

"You
have nothing to be sorry for. I know a couple of people who suffer from panic
attacks. They've told me how horrible they are."

"How
did you know I was out here?"

"Julie
woke me. She said she saw you running from the wagon."

"I'm
so embarrassed. I've made a mess of everything today."

Sage
traced her lips with his fingertip. "I don't like the way it happened, but
I'm happy to be alone with you."

* * *

Sarah
watched a shaft of moonlight touch Sage's hair and travel to his chiseled
features when he tilted his head. She had never wanted anything more than she
wanted Sage Tanner. A fire in her stomach burned away any lingering feelings of
the panic attack. "Kiss me," she whispered. Sage lifted his eyes to
the moon and she saw passion.

"If
I kiss you, I won't stop there."

"I
know."

"Sarah,
you're on the ground. It can't be comfortable."

"I
don't care."

"Sarah,
don't do this."

"You
said you wanted our first time to be special. How much more special is a
beautiful night lit by a full moon?"

She
watched a smile quirk at the corners of his mouth. He looked back at her. For a
long time he studied her face in the moonlight and Sarah forgot to breathe.
Slowly, he lowered his lips until they hovered above hers. His breath touched
her face and she breathed again, mingling her breath with his. He said, "I
want you, Sarah." His lips closed over hers.

Sarah
tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him tight, allowing herself to just
be. Her night of terror became a night of magic.