Dreaming of Mr. Darcy (26 page)

She looked down at the little gold button in her hand.

‘I gave him my heart, and he gave me a bloody button!'

After Adam received Gemma's phone call, he wondered whether he should return to Lyme Regis straightaway and check on Kay, but he decided against it. The cast weren't due to leave until the next day, and he guessed that Kay would be far too busy looking after them to need him barging in and offering a shoulder to cry on. He would wait; he would do his best to wait until the next day.

Nana Craig looked at him quietly as he sat down again.

‘That was Gemma from the film. She thinks I should go and see Kay. It seems Oli's left without even saying good-bye.'

‘I told you!' Nana Craig said, finishing her tea with an almighty slurp. ‘Didn't I tell you he was no good?'

‘Nana, you think all actors are no good.'

‘Because it's true! And especially him. The minute he walked up my garden path, I knew he was no good. A woman can tell that sort of thing. Well,
I
can, but it sounds like that poor dear girl can't. But at least that makes things simple.'

‘How do you mean?'

‘I mean you can tell her how you feel about her now.'

‘Nana, I'm going to see if she's okay—that's all. She doesn't want a big confession from me at the moment.'

‘Don't you go blowing your opportunity a second time,' Nana Craig said, wagging a warning finger at him. ‘This could be your last chance.'

Adam rolled his eyes. ‘Do you want another cup of tea?'

‘I want some great-grandchildren—that's what I want.'

‘Yes, but I'm offering you a cup of tea,' Adam said.

Nana Craig sighed. ‘If that's all that's on offer, I guess I'd better say yes.'

***

Half an hour later, Adam drove his nan home.

‘And don't do that again, Nana. I don't want to get home and find you on my doorstep again.'

‘What a fuss!' she said, getting out of the car in a brilliant flash of red, blue, and pink. ‘Don't you forget to go and see that girl now,' she said, tapping the passenger door with her candy-striped walking stick.

‘I won't forget. I'm going to see her first thing tomorrow.'

Nana Craig nodded. ‘Adam,' she said.

‘Yes, Nana?'

‘I know I go on, and I know you don't like me interfering, but I just want to see you happy, that's all.' She gave a little smile and her cheeks dimpled.

‘I know,' Adam said. ‘I know you do.'

***

The rest of Adam's day seemed to drag interminably, despite filling it with the endless phone calls he had to make. At one stage, Adam could no longer concentrate, so he got up, stuffed his feet into a pair of boots, and went out into the garden. Sir Walter followed him, his little pink nose high in the air.

‘I'm afraid you can't come with me, old man. Back in the house with you.' He scooped up the cat and took him into the house, locking the cat flap, and making his escape before Sir Walter could follow. What he was going to do was far too dangerous to risk a cat being around.

Somewhere in the tangle at the bottom of the garden stood a brick wall. It was crumbling and teetering, and Adam had been meaning to knock it down for weeks, but he had spent all his spare time renovating the cottage, and the garden had been shamefully neglected.

Finding the patch of ground where the wall stood, he cleared away the long grasses, grazing his arm on a bramble. Finally, the bricks were clear. They were a rather beautiful rosy red, and he was going to lay a path using them, but first the wall had to come down, and he was in just the right mood to do it. Opening the tiny shed, he picked up his sledgehammer, and walked across the garden to the wall. He took a deep breath and began.

It was hot work, and he was soon sweating. Pausing for a moment, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and undid a few buttons at the throat. It felt good to feel the air on his body. He needed to spend more time out of doors, for although his arms were far from pale, his job meant that he spent a lot of time in an airless, sunless office, which was good for neither mind nor body. Hard, physical work was what he needed right now, and although he knew he was benefiting from the workout, he also realised his motivation.

It was Oli Wade Owen.

Since Adam received the phone call from Gemma, he had been boiling with rage, because Oli's actions had been totally unacceptable. From what he understood from Gemma, Oli's behaviour had been abominable, and dear, sweet Kay had been heartbroken. How could somebody behave so callously towards somebody like Kay? Adam couldn't get his head around it. What had Oli thought he was doing? He was obviously involved with Teresa, so what was he doing messing around with Kay?

It wouldn't be seemly for the screenwriter/producer to slug the leading man, and Adam was certainly no avenging angel, so here he was taking his anger out on an innocent brick wall. It was also an excellent way to fill in the time before he could see Kay and find out exactly what happened.

If
she'll talk to me
, he thought. She might not want to see anyone. She might have denounced all men and barred the windows and doors of Wentworth House against them.

He stopped work for a moment, fear flooding his veins. What would he do if she wouldn't see him?

‘Persist,' he said. It's what every good hero did, from Mr Darcy to Captain Wentworth. They waited and they persisted.

He hoped he wouldn't have to wait too long, though. He was barely certain that he would be able to make it until the next day.

Not long after Adam's resident blackbird pierced the early morning with its radiant song, he awoke from a restless night's sleep, and the first thought in his mind was that he would see Kay that day. If only he could be sure of it every day. How amazing his life would be with her in it—waking up in the morning to see her beautiful face on the pillow beside his, spending day after day with her fossil hunting on the beach, eating ice cream along the seafront, and cooking together in the evenings. But was life really meant to be that sweet? He'd had a tiny glimpse of what it might be with Kay, but life often had its own ideas, and Adam knew that he couldn't let himself hope again. He'd made that mistake once before.

Still, as he drove into town, the sea sparkling with diamonds, he couldn't help hoping. He was a writer, the sort of writer inclined to believe in happy endings.

Walking towards Wentworth House, he realised that he could barely remember a time when Kay hadn't lived in Lyme Regis.

How dull and empty the seaside town must have been before she arrived. He remembered the first day he had seen her, walking into the estate agents, her face lit with a little smile and her toffee-coloured hair blowing in the breeze. He couldn't have imagined how quickly he would fall in love with her, and the thought of his feelings not being returned was almost too much to bear.

His heart beat wildly when he reached Wentworth House, and his hand shook as he reached up to knock on the door. He was quite sure that the cast and crew had left by then and Kay would be on her own.

‘Please let her be in,' he said to himself. ‘Please let her answer the door!' He noticed the sign in the front window: No Vacancies. That was odd, he thought. He was sure that she didn't have any bookings. Hadn't she told him that day at Charmouth that there were no bookings yet? The cast and crew of
Persuasion
had been her first and had surprised her, because she hadn't officially opened.

A thought occurred to Adam—what if she'd decided not to run the bed and breakfast anymore? What if her brief time in Lyme Regis had been more than enough for her, and she was returning to Hertfordshire?

Adam knocked on the door again. ‘Come on,' he whispered. ‘Open the door.'

His wish was granted a moment later, and he couldn't hide his shock at the sight that greeted him.

‘Kay!' he said as he saw her tear-drenched face. ‘What's happened to you?'

She took a moment to register who was standing on her doorstep. ‘Adam?'

‘Yes!' he said. She didn't invite him in but turned away from the door and half shuffled along the hallway. Adam followed. ‘Are you all right?'

She stopped suddenly just ahead of him, and he almost crashed into the back of her.

‘You want to know what's happened to me? I'll tell you what's happened to me. It's what
always
happens to me. I fall in love, I give my heart away, and it gets broken. That's what's happened to me.'

Adam blanched at her grief-laden words. ‘Gemma told me,' he said quietly. ‘She was worried about you. Come and sit down,' Adam said, aware that she was teetering slightly.

‘I need another drink,' she said, making her way towards the kitchen.

‘It's all right,' Adam said. ‘I'll get you a glass of water.'

‘No, Adam. I mean a proper drink.'

‘It's a bit early, isn't it?' he said, looking at the hallway clock and seeing that it wasn't even eleven.

‘Not today it isn't,' Kay said. ‘I'm going to get pickled, sizzled, and sloshed.'

‘I believe you,' Adam said.

‘So don't try to stop me.'

‘Okay,' he said, thinking the best thing he could do would be to supervise her. He watched as she entered the kitchen and opened the fridge, reaching in for a bottle of white wine.

‘I had some whisky before,' she said. ‘I bought it in case some of the cast might want it. It was disgusting.'

‘How much did you drink?'

Kay shrugged. ‘About this much?' she said, lifting her ‘I Love Darcy' mug in the air.

Adam winced and watched in horror as she poured a large measure of wine.

‘Come and sit down now,' he said, and she meekly followed him through to the living room. He sat down next to her on the sofa, and it was all he could do to restrain himself from putting an arm around her shoulder.

He watched her as she drank the wine from her mug. Well, that wasn't quite the right word for what Kay was doing; guzzling seemed to be more appropriate.

‘I don't think you should drink any more, Kay,' he said, quietly taking the mug from her before she could protest. ‘You mustn't let this get the better of you.'

She nodded slowly, as if half recognising his words. ‘When everybody left yesterday, I realised that I was alone,' she said. ‘For the first time since moving here, I was really alone. When I first came here, I was surrounded by builders and plumbers and decorators, and then the cast and crew of
Persuasion
arrived. But now I'm alone, and this house feels empty and quiet, and I hate it, and I don't know anyone here.'

‘You know me, Kay.'

She gave a little laugh. ‘But what am I doing here?'

‘You're running a marvellous bed and breakfast,' he said, ‘and making a living in one of the most beautiful towns in the country.'

Kay didn't seem to hear him, and he could see tears swimming in her eyes once more.

‘But I feel so—so alone.' She shook her head and stared at the swirling pattern of the carpet that had yet to be replaced. ‘Why can't I get things right? Just once—that's all it takes. Even Jane Austen wasn't as cruel as this. Marianne Dashwood had her heart broken only once, but mine gets broken over and over again.' A tear escaped and rolled down her reddened cheek. ‘Just like my mother's did.'

‘Kay—'

‘And he's just forgotten me, hasn't he?' she said. ‘Hasn't he read
Persuasion
properly? Or maybe that line didn't make it into the script.'

‘Which line?'

Kay flapped her hand in the air. ‘That bit where Anne's talking about the difference between men and women and says, “We certainly do not forget you as soon as you forget us”.'

‘That's certainly in the script,' Adam said.

Kay sniffed. ‘And I bet it won't mean anything to him when he reads it.'

‘I wouldn't be so sure.'

She looked at him, desperation in her eyes. ‘What do you mean?'

‘I don't think you're the sort of woman men forget.'

‘Ha!' she scoffed. ‘You think that? You
really
think that? Because I seem to have been forgotten by more men than there are pebbles on that beach out there.' She flapped her hand and knocked Adam's, and the contents of the mug slopped onto his trousers. ‘Oh, God! I'm
so
sorry.' Kay leapt up off the sofa. ‘I'll get a cloth.'

‘It's okay,' Adam said, but she'd already dashed to the kitchen, returning a moment later with a tea towel with which she rubbed Adam's leg ineffectually. Adam let out an involuntary laugh and took the towel from her. ‘Perhaps it's best if I do it,' he said.

Kay sat back down on the sofa, a scowl of gigantic proportions on her face.

‘You will get over this, Kay.'

She nodded. ‘Yes, they'll clean up okay in the wash, won't they?'

‘I wasn't talking about my trousers,' Adam said.

‘I know.'

‘Listen to me,' Adam said. ‘You're very special, Kay.'

‘Special K!' She laughed.

Adam frowned. ‘You're also very drunk.'

‘I'm not,' she said. ‘I need to get drunker. I need to be the drunkest I've ever been, because everything is going wrong.
Everything!
I couldn't even get you and Gemma right! Why didn't you tell me you weren't in love with each other? You should have told me, Adam.'

‘I don't think you'd have believed us.'

Kay swayed slightly, even though she was sitting down. ‘You're probably right. But how could I have misread the signals? How could I have got everything so spectacularly wrong?' Her eyes went wide and wild. ‘I've made such a fool of myself, haven't I?'

‘No, you haven't.'

‘And here I am. I'm doing it again, right now.'

‘You're not making a fool of yourself.'

Kay gave a gigantic sniff. ‘He didn't love me. He didn't even have the decency to explain things to me. He only left me a stupid note that didn't say anything. He just left me, Adam. Just like my dad left me, and my mum and Peggy too. Everyone leaves me.'

‘I won't leave you.'

Kay looked at Adam. The space between them had closed imperceptibly.

‘Oh, you've cut yourself,' Kay said, pulling his arm up for inspection.

‘It's nothing.'

‘Have you bathed it? You must take care of yourself.'

‘Yes, I bathed it.'

‘Do you want a bandage? I should get you a bandage,' Kay said, looking around her as if a bandage might be hanging around in the air somewhere.

‘It's fine,' Adam said. ‘It really doesn't need a bandage.'

She let go of his arm, patting it tenderly and then looking up at him. ‘Why can't all men be as nice as you, Adam? You're so nice.'

Adam swallowed hard. He could feel Kay's warm breath on his face, and his skin still tingled from her touch.

‘Kay, I—' He didn't get a chance to finish what he was going to say, because she shushed him, pressing a finger to his lips, and before he could react, she leaned forward and kissed him. It was the sweetest, saddest kiss, but Adam couldn't help responding to it, moving his body forward and folding his arms around her.

‘Adam!' Kay said, her voice breathy.

Adam kissed her, his fingers running through her beautiful hair and touching the soft skin of her cheek. He had dreamt of such a moment, although this wasn't how he'd imagined it. This was wrong, and however much Kay thought she wanted him to kiss her, he knew that now wasn't the right time.

‘Kay,' he said, moving away from her and holding her hands in his.

‘What?' she asked, startled.

‘This isn't right.'

‘What do you mean? Don't you want to kiss me?'

He gave a little smile. ‘Of course I want to kiss you. I've been wanting to kiss you ever since I saw you that first day in Lyme Regis. You don't remember, do you? I saw you outside the estate agents, and you turned and smiled at me.'

Kay looked confused. ‘I saw you?'

He nodded. ‘I think I fell in love with you that day.'

‘Oh, Adam!'

‘And that's why we can't do this.'

‘But that doesn't make any sense.'

‘You're a little bit drunk, Kay, and if anything is going to happen between us, then call me old fashioned, but I'd rather that you be completely sober.'

‘I am sober!' Kay cried. ‘I'm totally sober.'

Adam stood up, and Kay followed his lead, swaying alarmingly.

‘I'm just a bit—unstable, that's all.'

Adam took her hand in his and slowly led her upstairs. ‘Which is your room?'

Kay nodded to the door that was hers. He opened it, and they entered the bedroom together.

‘Now,' he said, ‘you're going to bed. You're going to sleep all that whisky off.' He watched as she sat down on the bed, and then he knelt beside her, gently easing her feet out of her ballet-style shoes. ‘You need to sleep.'

‘But I'm not at all sleepy,' Kay protested. Nevertheless, she swung her legs up onto the bed and rested her head on her pillow, looking up at Adam with big soulful eyes.

‘God, Kay!' he said, wishing she wasn't quite so beautiful and vulnerable. It was a potent, irresistible, and dangerous mix. ‘I have to go. You'll give me a call if you need anything, won't you?'

‘I need
you
,' she said quietly. ‘Stay with me.'

Adam sighed. ‘I'll stay downstairs for a while—just to make sure you're okay, all right?'

She nodded and closed her eyes, and despite her earlier protestations, she fell fast asleep.