Duality (11 page)

“What?” Mikey barked when there was a knock at the door. He’d been in bed in the guest room for two hours trying to drop off but he was still so furious at Amber that sleep was impossible. It was striking him that he’d married an overgrown child and he cursed himself for being so impetuous.

“Can I come in?” called a timid voice.

“Do what you want,” he barked back, turning on his side away from the door, not wanting to look at his wife.

He heard the door creak open, heard her pad across the floor then felt her warmth as she cuddled up against him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Mikey was determined not to waver but his anger started to melt away when he heard tears in her voice. “You’ve said that before.”

“I know but I really mean it this time. You’re right, my mum does wind me up, she makes me think you’re trying to control me but I know you’re only trying to protect us all.”

“I’m glad you realise that. I hate it when you make me out to be one of those nasty, abusive bastards. I would never do that to you.”

“I know babe, which is why I’m going to spend less time with her. Of course I can’t cut her out of my life altogether, she is my mum and Josh’s nan after all but I’ll see her a lot less. I can tell her it’s because of my new job. Thanks for getting me that by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” he muttered.

“Can we forget recent events and start over? I know I’ve no right to ask but I don’t want this to be the end for us, I love you Mikey.”

There was a moment’s silence before he said, “love you too,” without turning over.

Amber exhaled shakily. “Thank God for that. I thought you’d stopped.”

This caused him to turn to face her. “You thought I didn’t love you anymore?”

“I did when you said I could leave.”

“I didn’t mean it babe, I was just angry.”

She started to cry. “So you don’t want a divorce?”

“No, that’s not what I want,” he said, sliding his arm around her waist. “You’re right, let’s put all this behind us and start again.”

“I’d like that,” she said, letting the tears fall freely, knowing this never failed to gain his sympathy.

He pulled her against him and Amber smiled when she felt his hardness pressing against her. She was wearing just a silky nightie and nothing underneath. When she kissed him he responded forcefully.

“I want to make it up to you,” she said. “Lie on your back.”

He gave her that heart stopping grin and did as she asked, running his hand through her curls as her lips made their way down his body, moaning out loud when she took him in her mouth.

“You are so good at that babe,” he groaned.

She looked up the length of his body, admiring the undulation of his stomach muscles as his body tensed and arched. He was magnificent.

“Hey,” he said with a mock pout when she stopped what she was doing. “Oh, carry on,” he grinned when she straddled him.

He gripped onto her thighs and moaned even louder when she bore down on him, her head falling back as he filled her up. She moved her hips faster, throwing herself into the act, revelling in every grunt and moan he made, the pleasure building inside her until it exploded and her body shuddered and shook.

When it was over she fell on top of him, smiling into his chest as he kissed her curls. Jules was not going to get her grubby hands on him. Mikey Maguire was hers. Her smile broadened as she thought of her contraceptive pill sitting in her bedside cabinet where she always kept it. It would sit untouched from now for about another nine months. Josh had brought them together so she was confident a second child would keep them together.

“Hello,” said Beth happily, waving at her laptop screen. Riley waved back. He was unshaven and a bit dusty, telling her he was in a desert somewhere but he still looked gorgeous and best of all, healthy. Riley could have been Ryan’s twin, despite the fact they were half brothers, the only difference being their eye colour. While Ryan’s were grey his were brown.

“Hello babe. Miss you,” he said.

“Miss you too,” she grinned. “The kids are dying to say hello.”

She laughed out loud when Alfie and Archie threw themselves onto her knee, frantically waving at the screen.

“Hiya Riley,” they said in unison.

“Hi boys. I hope you’re being good for your mum,” he said with a meaningful look at Archie.

“We are,” replied Archie.

“Good boys. There she is,” he grinned when Holly pushed her way between her older brothers. Beth picked her up and sat her on her knee so she could see the screen, her heart aching when the little girl gave Riley her best smile. They were always pleased to see him and the prospect of him marrying their mum pleased all three of them.

“Hi Holly,” said Riley.

“Hello,” she grinned, waving a chubby little hand.

“It’s so good to see you guys,” he continued. “I can’t wait to get home.”

“We can’t wait to have you home,” said Beth.

“I hope the wedding plans are coming on.” Riley had been happy to leave everything in Beth’s hands. All he cared about was marrying her when he got back after completing his tour of duty.

“They are. The church and reception are booked, honeymoon in Greece sorted. It’s just the outfits to pick out now.”

“You still haven’t found your dress?”

“Nothing’s quite right. It’s got to be something special.”

“Whatever you wear it’ll be gorgeous.”

“I want the perfect dress and I won’t stop until I find it.”

“I’m sure you will. I trust you to pick an outfit for me, just nothing pink or yellow. Ryan’s going to be my best man so feel free to choose something girlie for him,” he grinned.

Beth giggled. “He’d never forgive me.”

A yell behind him had Riley turning his head and sighing. “Sorry sweetheart, I’ve got to go.”

“Stay safe, please.”

“Of course I will. Don’t worry about me, you just concentrate on planning an amazing wedding for us.”

“And it will be amazing.”

He flashed her his heart-stopping smile. “I know. Love you.” He looked to the children. “I love all you guys too but sorry, I’ve got to get to work.”

“Love you too,” Beth just managed to say before the call ended.

“Why did he go?” demanded Archie.

Beth’s heart sank, it looked like he was on the verge of another tantrum. “He had to go to work sweetheart.”

“But I wanted to talk to him.”

“You’ll be able to talk again soon,” said Beth.

“When?”

“I really don’t know but soon, promise.”

“It’s not fair,” he yelled, stamping his foot.

When Beth saw Holly cringing in fear, who was now terrified of her brother’s tantrums, she said, “Alfie, take your sister upstairs.”

“But…,” he began, not wanting to leave his mum alone with Archie, knowing how aggressive he could be.

“Please Alfie, for me.”

“Okay,” he reluctantly replied, taking Holly by the hand and leading her upstairs.

Beth turned to face Archie, who was glaring at her with too much hatred for a six year old.

“You have to understand about Riley’s job,” she began as gently as she could. “Sometimes he has to go and there’s nothing anyone can do about it but he still loves you, he always will,” she said, attempting to embrace him.

“I don’t want you,” he said, pushing her away. “I want Riley.”

“And in a few months he’ll be here with us all the time. You just have to be patient.”

His face turned purple with rage, sending Beth into a spiral of despair and fear.

“I want him here now,” he screamed at her.

Archie’s fist might have been small but when it was rammed into her gut she crumpled in two.

As he stormed upstairs all Beth could do was remain doubled over, struggling to catch her breath.

CHAPTER 11

“You look happier than I thought you would,” said Jez as they started the drive to Glasgow. He was sat with Mikey in the back of the black Mercedes with blacked-out windows they used for business. Mark was driving and an eager Shane was sitting beside him. Jez had quipped that if he was a dog he would have his head out the window and his tongue lolling, he was so excited. “I heard you and Amber had a row yesterday.”

“Bloody Declan, he gossips like an old biddy,” said Mikey.

“So you got it all sorted then?” Jez was talking quietly so Mark and Shane wouldn’t overhear.

Mikey nodded.

“What was the row about?”

“I thought Declan would have already told you,” he said dryly.

“He couldn’t really hear the words through the door,” said Jez with a smile. “So what was it about?”

“You’re not going to stop nagging me until I tell you, are you?”

“Nope,” grinned Jez.

Mikey sighed. “Amber hired a nanny to look after Josh in our house instead of taking him to nursery. You should have seen this girl, she was just a kid herself. And she came back with a load more shopping bags from really expensive places when I’d told her not to.”

Jez knew how lucky he was with his Cathy, who found shopping boring. She’d much rather go for a run into the countryside. Plus she insisted on taking care of their kids herself. “But you made up?”

“She apologised, said she’d stop letting her mum slag me off. I don’t know what that old cow has against me but if she keeps it up I’m going to cut her and her fat lazy husband off without a penny.”

“I thought you’d already done that.”

“Amber persuaded me not to and I fell for it.”

“You can’t resist those big green eyes, eh?”

“Something like that,” he muttered.

“So all’s harmonious again?”

“It will be if she sticks to her word this time.”

Jez nodded. “Good, I’m glad you’re getting it all sorted.”

“Slowly but surely.” Mikey tried to resist asking but was unable to. “Have you heard anything from Jules?”

“Well the matrimonial harmony didn’t last long.”

“I’m just curious, that’s all.”

“To find out if she’s marrying Jackson?”

“No,” he said, looking out the window.

“Yes you are and no, I haven’t. I just got a text message saying she’d arrived safely.”

“Same here.”

“Forget about Amber and Jules. The only woman we need to be thinking about right now is Toni McVay.”

Mikey screwed up his face. “Urgh.”

“We need to have our minds on the job if we’re going to get out of this alive and with our eyes still in our heads so could you please put your very complicated love life on the backburner for a few days?”

“Actually that would be a bit of a relief.”

“Thought it might be,” he smiled. “Christ, I’m glad my life isn’t as complicated as yours.”

“Yeah, great,” muttered Mikey. Last night with Amber had been great but already the memory was fading, replaced by Jules. He sighed. This wasn’t going to end well.

“Jules, will you please sit down and rest?” Rachel told her. “You’ve been on the dance floor for half an hour. You’ve got to be more careful in your condition.”

Jules sighed, shoulders slumping. “Fine,” she sighed, having to step through the admiring crowd to reach their table. She was quite a mover and her natural exuberance and self confidence had attracted a lot of attention. “I’ll return to my orange juice.”

She brightened up when she saw Sabine waiting for her, who looked delighted to see her returning to the table. They were on their girls’ night out with Dolores and Tracey. Daina had cried off because she was exhausted, her pregnancy was taking its toll. Rachel didn’t think that would be the case with Jules, she’d never known someone with so much energy.

“You’re quite the mover Jules,” said Tracey, taking a sip of her cocktail. “I can’t imagine Ryan taking to the dance floor like that.”

“He can move when he wants to,” said Rachel.

Tracey’s smile was mischievous. “I’ll bet.”

“My Vince loved to dance, before he got the emphysema,” said Dolores sadly. “Mind you he was shite at it but he enjoyed it.”

Rachel felt bad for her friend. Dolores had worked for her in Manchester and proved herself to be incredibly loyal and trustworthy. When her husband Vince had become ill and the doctor had advised an escape to the country Rachel hadn’t hesitated to set her up down here. Vince’s condition had improved since they’d made the move to Devon but he was nowhere near as active as he used to be.

“Do you like to dance Sabine?” Jules asked her.

Sabine smiled shyly and shook her head. “No.”

“I could teach you.”

Sabine both blushed and smiled.

“You lady are having a rest,” Rachel told her. “It’s not just you you’ve got to think about now.”

“Yes, I know,” sighed Jules. “No drinking, no smoking, no fun. Can I go to the toilet? Is that allowed?”

“Only if you’re good,” smirked Rachel.

“I’ll do my best,” she said, getting to her feet.

“I’ll come with you,” said Sabine, getting up to follow her.

“Well they’re certainly getting on well,” said Tracey as they walked away together.

“I just hope she’s not too much for Sabine,” said Dolores. “Sorry Rach, I know she’s your sister-in-law but she is very full-on and Sabine’s so shy.”

“You don’t need to tell me,” said Rachel. “But I’m not her keeper. Besides, no one can control Jules,” she smiled, taking a sip of her cocktail.

“So, she’s pregnant?” said Tracey.

Rachel nodded. “To a cage fighter. Sounds fearsome but he’s actually really sweet.”

“But she’s flirting with Sabine?” added Dolores.

“Yep,” smiled Rachel, amused by how confused they looked.

“Makes me glad I’m old and married.”

Jules was waiting in the toilets for Sabine, leaning against a sink with a smile when she opened the door.

Sabine hesitated and smiled shyly. “You knew I would come?”

“Hoped more like.”

Sabine shuffled nervously, twiddling her fingers. “Sorry, I don’t know what to do, this is a first for me.”

“Why don’t you start by coming over here?”

Sabine stepped forward, so she was standing directly before Jules.

“That’s better,” said Jules softly. She and Sabine were exactly the same height and gazed into each other’s eyes. “You’re so beautiful.”

Just as she reached out to touch Sabine’s face the door opened and a gaggle of women poured in, all laughing and joking. Sabine hastily stepped away from Jules, staring down at the floor, cheeks pink. The women didn’t pay them any attention, they were too engrossed in their conversation, splitting up into different stalls, continuing their conversation by shouting to each other.

“You’re ashamed,” said Jules.

“Not of you,” said Sabine, colouring even more. “I…I don’t know, I’m still getting used to this.”

“Don’t be ashamed of who you are.”

“You don’t care what anyone thinks of you?”

“Nope. If they don’t like me that’s their problem, not mine.”

“I wish I could be like you.”

“The first step is accepting who you are.” Jules slid her arm around her waist. “Let me help you with that.”

Sabine leaned in to Jules, their lips about to touch when the stall doors erupted open and the girls all poured out again.

Jules and Sabine were forced to move when the four women surrounded the sinks, pouting in the mirrors, checking their make-up.

“Come on,” sighed Jules, exiting the toilets.

“Did I do something to upset you?” said Sabine, following her.

“No, not you. Just that shower in there.” Outside the toilets she stopped and turned to Sabine. “Don’t live your life in the shadows, it’s no fun. Be who you are and fuck everyone else. You shouldn’t be miserable because of other people.”

“You’re right,” said Sabine, finding her words inspiring. She grasped Jules’s hand. “As you say, fuck them.”

Jules smiled. “You’re my kind of girl.”

Just as they leaned in to kiss they were interrupted by a deep voice. “Way-hay-hay.”

Jules sighed and turned to find three men staring at them.

“Don’t let us stop you,” said the one who had cat-called.

“You just did,” said Jules. “And you’ve spoiled the moment.”

The three men crowded round them, the big-mouthed one standing right before Jules, who was incensed by how scared Sabine looked.

“Just fuck off the lot of you,” Jules told the men.

The big-mouthed one squared up to her. “You’ve got a huge gob for a fucking lesbian.”

“I’m not a lesbian,” she sighed.

“Yeah you are.” His mean eyes narrowed. “I hate women like you, you’re not fucking natural.”

While Sabine’s eyes filled with sadness, Jules’s blazed. “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Freaks, the lot of you.”

When the man started to guffaw, his laugh sounding like a drunken donkey, Jules pointed at the ceiling. “Oh my God, look at that.”

When they all turned to look she punched him in the face with such speed that by the time his friends turned back round he’d dropped to the floor, out cold.

“Tim?” exclaimed his friends, looking around for him, failing to spot him spark out on the floor.

“Aww, looks like he left you all alone,” said Jules. She slid her arm around Sabine’s waist and steered her away. “Come on.”

“Those men, they were so horrible,” said Sabine sadly as they returned to their table. “Why do men always have to be so horrible to women?”

“Not all of them are. Some are really nice.”

“Yes, Ryan, he is nice. He rescued me.”

“So I hear.”

“And his brothers. You have their blood, which is why I trust you. It isn’t easy for me to trust people.”

“I understand. I went through something similar. I’ll explain later,” she said as she led her back to their table.

“I don’t want to go back there,” said Sabine, taking her arm. “I want to go home.”

“Because of those arseholes?”

“Please…violent men…they scare me. I can’t be around them.”

“Alright, I understand,” said Jules. “I’ll go with you, make sure those pricks don’t bother you again.”

“Thank you, I would like that.”

“Better let the others know where we’re going.”

They approached their table where Rachel, Dolores and Tracey were talking and laughing. Because of the crowd in the club they’d failed to spot the incident, which had occurred on the other side of the room.

“We’re off,” announced Jules.

“Oh yes?” smiled Tracey.

“It’s not like that, I’m just walking her home,” said Jules knowing Rachel didn’t believe her for a second.

“So, I’ll see you when I see you then?” said Rachel, knowing in her eyes.

Jules gave her a wink on her way outside with Sabine. They collected their jackets and Jules automatically reached for the cigarettes she used to keep in her inner jacket pocket and sighed when she remembered they weren’t there anymore.

“Something wrong?” said Sabine, breathing in the cool night air.

“I usually have a ciggie when I step outside. I keep forgetting I can’t.”

“You are happy about being pregnant?” said Sabine, slipping on her jacket.

“Yeah, I think I am,” she said, smiling up at the starry night sky. “At first I couldn’t get my head round it but now I’m here and away from everything I know I am.” She gestured to a bench beside a fountain in the middle of the town square, which was quiet. “Mind if we sit down for a few minutes before we go?”

“Are you feeling okay?” Sabine anxiously asked her.

“Fine, I just get tired quickly.”

They sat on the bench and Sabine remained quiet as Jules appeared to be lost in her own world.

“My adopted dad used to sell me to his friends, for sex,” Jules suddenly announced.

Sabine was shocked. “That’s horrible.”

“I didn’t know Ryan and Jez were my brothers then, actually I didn’t even know they existed. It’s hard trusting again after going through something like that but you get there in the end. I just wanted you to know that, so you feel you can trust me.”

“I know I can. That is why I want you to be my first. Woman,” she added when Jules raised an eyebrow.

“And it’s my pleasure to be your first but you do know it will just be tonight?”

Sabine nodded seriously. “You’re getting married.”

“Maybe.”

“You’re still deciding?”

Jules nodded. “It’s complicated. Anyway, I don’t want to think about them. I just want to think about you.”

When Jules leaned in to kiss her Sabine’s heart started to thud. It was her first real kiss, the first time she’d ever looked forward to sexual contact. She’d expected Jules to be aggressive, after all that was what Sabine was used to but her kiss was soft and tender and tasted of a mixture of oranges and chewing gum.