Dudes Down Under (24 page)

“
Would you like to have ‘em outside, Mr. G?”

“
Not tonight, Max. Bring them over to the table.”

“
Sure thing, Mr. G.” Max frowned as he readied the drinks.
Damn! C’mon, Skeet, I have a bad feelin’ about this.

*  *  *

“
I’ll go and take care of Max’s little problem and come right back, Bec. I shouldn’t be long. We can grab a meal and put Cyril and Sadie to bed. How’s that?”

“
Sounds good to me. Watch yourself with Mr. Superstar. He’s got a temper, or so the gossip columns say.”

“
Nyah, I don’t believe any of that shit. He’s seems okay to me.”

“
You’re not a female.”

“
I’m glad you noticed.”

“
Sheesh, you’re incorrigible.”

“
Will I be insulted when I find out what that means?”

Rebecca rolled her eyes and tried giving him a blank look, then blew it by laughing. “Go fix up the problem. I’ll be right here.”

Skeet headed off towards the Swamp. He was about to enter when Ginny called out, “Skeet, oh I am so glad I found you.”

“
What’s up, sweetie?”

“
The band didn’t arrive and they are supposed to be on in about an hour. Lucy is off duty. I don’t know what to do.”

“
Oh hell, this is turnin’ out to be a night for it.” Skeet looked up and nodded his head. “Yup, bloody full moon! I shoulda known.”

“
What will I do? Should I ring Lucy?”

“
Nyah. I’ll pop in and set up the karaoke machine and screen. It’ll only take a sec. C’mon, sweetie, cheer up. It’s all good.”

“
Thanks so much, Skeet. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“
I’ll have to be quick, Ginny. I gotta sort out another little problem.”

*  *  *

Max mixed the martini for Ms. Dayton, poured the neat JD, and was about to take them over to the table when the other guest spoke up. “So, Mr. Rich Man, enjoying my wife, are you?”

“
Oh, crap. He’s drunk! He can be meaner than a cut snake when he’s drinking. Ignore him, Ed,” said Vanessa.

“
What did you say, Tony? I don’t see your wife anywhere around.”

“
You’re sitting with her!”

“
No, pal. I’m sitting with a single lady. You couldn’t hold onto this one. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen your child bride for a day or so. What happened, pretty-boy? Couldn’t hold on to her either, eh?”

“
Jesus, Ed. What are you doing? Don’t bait him. He’s very drunk. Leave it alone.” Vanessa Dayton stood up and picked up her purse. “I think I’ll leave. All this testosterone is making me nauseous.”

Tony got up and walked unsteadily over to where she stood. He grabbed her by the arm. “So, ex-wifey dear, found a new playmate, huh? He’s a bit old for you, don’t you think?”

Vanessa tried shaking his grip, unsuccessfully. She spoke quietly. “Tony, please let go my arm. You’re hurting me. You are very drunk. Go home and sleep it off.”

He maintained his hold.

“
Let the lady go, pal.”

“
You gonna make me, old man?”

“
Don’t be stupid. Let her go! Go home. You’re drunk.”

“
Whatsa matter? No guts, hey?”

“
Tony, let me go right now. Stop being so damned pathetic. I’m not amused, or flattered. You are embarrassing yourself, and doing it damned well.”

“
You heard the lady. Let her go, now!” Ed Guest stood and faced the smaller man.

“
What are you gonna do, old man? Buy me off?”

Vanessa slapped her ex hard across the face. He let go of her arm. The slap was so unexpected he took a step back, rubbing his jaw. “Shit! What the hell did you do that for, Ness? I was only playin’ around.”

“
You played around when we were married too, Tony. Wake up to yourself. Weren’t you the one yelling at Kylie for being a damned fool just the other day? Go home and sleep it off.”

Ed Guest looked at the woman with new respect. “Perhaps you would prefer to go to another bar, Vanessa?”

“
Get a grip! We weren’t on a date, Ed, just chatting. I think I’d rather go alone. You boys play testosterone roulette. Have fun.”

The elegant blonde stood and walked out of the Swamp. Her hand still stinging, she smiled happily. Tony had been cruising for that for quite a while.

Ahh, life was good.

Chapter 28

Skeet set up the karaoke machine and made the announcement to the assembled guests. They were all enthusiastic and game to give this thing a shot. Mostly they hadn’t had a chance to do anything like this as the venues scattered throughout the States turned into a media frenzy as soon as they appeared anywhere. This promised to be fun.

Skeet hurried off to the Swamp and was surprised to find Tony De La Cruz and Ed Guest sitting at the bar together. “Hi, guys! How you doin’?”

Max gave him a shrug and shook his head.

Ed Guest answered for both of them. “Well, Skeet, we are just sitting here discussing how damned unpredictable woman are. Why don’t you join us, buddy?”

“
No, thanks, fellas. I was enjoying the company of a lovely lady. I think I’ll go back and ask her for a dance. I just stopped by to see if Max needed a break. “You right, are ya, Max?”

“
Yep, all under control, Skeet. Thanks for askin’, mate.”

“
No wucking forries. Catcha later. See ya, fellas.”

“
Yeah, g’night, Skeet.”

Skeet hurried back to the ballroom and was relieved to find Rebecca still sitting comfortably chatting to Lana Peters.

“
Go on, Lana, have a go. No one’s gonna laugh at ya for givin’ it a try,” said Rebecca

“
I’ve never sung anywhere outside of the bathroom or my car.”

“
So? What have ya got to lose?”

“
My dignity, for one.”

“
Go on, have some fun, let ya hair down.”

“
Aww, hell. Okay. Why not? What will I sing? Any suggestions, girlfriend?”

“
Well, what do ya like? Rock and roll or a classic?”

“
I know!” Lana got to her feet and hurried across to the stage. Kylie was waiting to take a turn. “Hey, girl, what are you gonna sing?” Lana asked.

“
It Hurts to Be in Love
?”

“
You’re not? I thought … what if …?”

“
No, only kidding, Lana.”

“
Phew! That’s a relief. So what are you gonna sing?”

“
Did you see
First Wives Club?
?”

“
Dianne, Goldie and Bette? Sure I did. Oh, what was that song? Hmm … oh yeah, I remember.
You don’t own me
. Ummm, Dusty Springfield. Good choice.”

“
Why don’t we do a duet? I’m game.”

“
What a great idea, and it’s not as forbidding when you have someone to sing with. Can you sing, by the way?”

“
Kinda.”

“
That makes two of us, girlfriend. Let’s just cut loose and have some fun with it. Okay?”

“
Fine with me, Lana. Let’s do it!”

The crowd were all in the mood for some fun, and Lana and Kylie were exactly what was needed.

The girls decided to camp it up and the lyrics were perfect. “
You don’t own me, I’m not just one of your many toys!
” Lana sang while poking her finger in Kylie’s face. “
You don’t own me, don’t say I can’t go with other boys
.”

Kylie grabbed Lana’s arm and sang it right in her face. “And don’t tell me what to do.”

The girls were doing the bitch thing, and almost too well. The audience were in fits of laughter at the gay routine and wild applause broke out when they were done. They walked off the stage arm-in-arm and collapsed in a fit of giggles when they got back to the table.

“
Now that’s gonna be hard to top, girls.” Rebecca was delighted.

“
Who’s up next?” Lana asked.

“
Um, not sure. Wait , yeah, Tristan is gonna have a shot at it. Go for it, Mr. Yummy.” Rebecca called out.

“
Let’s hear it for Mr. Yummy!” his wife called. “Whoo-hoo! Go for it, Tristan.”

Tristan delighted everyone with a terrific rendition of
American Pie.
By the time he finished, everyone was singing along with him. This karaoke thing was so much fun. “I gotta get us one of those machines, Izzy. Can you imagine the fun we could have inviting the gang over for a Bar-B-Q and a sing-a-long?”

“
The kids would love it too, especially if we had the rap stuff on it for them as well,” Izzy said as she glanced around the room. “Everyone’s having a blast. I’ve never seen this crowd so relaxed.”

“
I’ve never seen this crowd so drunk,” her husband replied as he poured them both another drink. “Look at Kylie over there. She’s really getting her shit together. It’s so good to see. She and Lana have hit it off. Never thought I’d see that happen.”

“
It’s this place, honey. It kinda makes you feel like family or something, you know.”

“
Yeah, I’m so pleased we did this, babe.”

“
Uh-huh, me too, Mr. Yummy.”

“
I’m not gonna be allowed to forget that, am I?”

“
Not a chance, hon, not a chance.”

Lucy and Charlie entered the room hand-in-hand. This was not missed by the crowd. Lana wondered over to where they seated themselves and gave Charlie a hug. “You take care of this little lady, my friend. She’s gold.”

Charlie put his arm around Lucy’s shoulder and held her closer. “I know it.”

“
Have you told anyone else yet, Lucy?”

“
No, not till I tell Skeet. I want him to give me away. Where is he, by the way? I thought he’d be here.”

“
He and Rebecca have gone to put Cyril and Sadie to bed, at least I think that was where they were headed.”

“
Oh good. Rebecca seems such a lovely girl.”

Lana held her tongue and nodded.
Oh, Lucy darlin’, you must be blind in both eyes if you can’t see who Skeet is really head over heels with. Oh well, he’s just gonna have to handle it, but asking him to walk you down the aisle? Phew! He’s gonna have to be made of strong stuff to handle that.

*  *  *

As soon as the crocs entered the apartment, they both flipped over on their backs, legs jutting straight up in the air.

“
Cyril, Sadie, what the - ? Just what are you cheeky buggers up to?” Skeet scratched his head, perplexed. Cyril had already been fed. They had both had their rations of beer, so what was the go?

Rebecca spoke up. “I think my Sadie might be teaching Cyril a few new things.”

“
Aww, crap! That’s all I need. Cyril, behave yourself, mate. You don’t need to learn any more stuff, trust me.”

He-heh, that’s what you think, Skeet. My Sadie knows lots of stuff I never even heard of, and she’s happy to show me
. “Aren’t you, my sweet?”

“
Yup. Am I really and truly your sweet?”

“
Abso-bloody-lutely!”

“
Oh, Cyril, you are such a flirt.”

“
Flirt, huh? Is that good?”

“
Abso-bloody-lutely!”

“
You are so cute when you crinkle your snout like that.”

“
Awww, now you’re makin’ me blush.”

“
You can do that? Blush, I mean.”

“
Yeah, sure I can. You wanna learn how?”

“
I dunno, I think that’s mainly for girl-type crocs, isn’t it?”

“
Oh yeah. Well, maybe. Hell, I don’t know. How can we find out?”

‘
Hmm, I’ll have to think about that one.”

‘
Maybe if we sit and watch Skeet and Rebecca. What do you think? Let’s see who goes red in the face first.”

“
Cyril, you are sooo smart.”

“
Yeah, I know.”