Dusty: Reflections of Wrestling's American Dream (28 page)

Remember

Remember the sound of bacon crackling, me rushing to make morning tasty for you…

Remember the tears that come from my solid, broken only by you…

Remember my trembling lips, as you teased me with a first kiss you have forgotten…

Remember the clock hands that danced in circles, the time I handed to you…

Remember the flash bulbs, my hands raised high, I had conquered, without you…

Remember the soft drops that fell from your eyes, in fear you might lose me…

Remember the love that drove that fear, the love that encompassed me and you…

—C
ODY
R
UNNELS
, A
RETE
, L
ASSITER
H
IGH
S
CHOOL
L
ITERARY
M
AGAZINE
, F
ALL
2003

He’s always on me and Teil about stuff, like the Yankees. Whether he likes the other team or not, he’d call Roger Clemens a fat ass during the World Series when they played the Marlins. He’d do it just to make me mad. He’d say shit like in 2004 Roger Clemens went over to Randy Johnson’s house to have dinner and not only stole his dinner, but his Cy Young award off his table and took it back to Texas. He’d just say stuff like that.

I remember Cody breaking his leg, it was after Little League and he was 12 years old. He broke it riding a four-wheeler out behind our house on a hill. I heard it running and then I heard it stop, and then I didn’t hear anything. He got up and tried to walk. He had broken his leg, and Dustin had broken his leg on a four-wheeler too, when he was younger. Those things are pretty dangerous.

Anyway, he’s close to his brother and sisters. He takes great pride in taking care of Teil out in California, or should I say he thinks he is, and Paul Jones, my very close friend with Limited Brands helped get them jobs in loss prevention out there, and he takes them out to eat, watches over them for me and Chelle. Even Dallas Page, who I was kind of a mentor to, is kind of Cody’s mentor. Cody understands him, but knows where to draw the line with Dallas, and they are very close.

“Dad always says and puts family first. It’s not just rhetoric. He still has his family to take care of. I’ve had the best two parents possible. Dad is the ultimate family man in an unconventional manner. … I can’t think of him as anything but a family man.”

—C
ODY
R
UNNELS

So Cody’s a kid who almost tried too hard to achieve that goal instead of just letting it fall into place. So, it’s cool.

Okay, now with all that said, it’s time to talk about my eldest son, Dustin, and you better pay close attention, because this is only going to be said and written about once.

There are a lot of stories about Dustin and me, whom I love and am so very, very proud of. But of all those stories, there’s only one that the fans of wrestling really want to know about, and so I am going to bare my soul and tell it like it is.

For five years, a piece of my heart was missing. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to go through, because I knew I fucked up. But I also knew deep down, that with time, patience, understanding, and the grace of God, that deep, deep wound would eventually heal, and Dustin and I would be closer than ever.

For years I did not want to talk about this, and I couldn’t because the hurt was that deep. When we were in that place, emotionally, I had refused interview after interview with wrestling magazines, with
The New York Times
, with everybody, not only because it was so upsetting for me to discuss, but for fear that if I talked about it openly while it was still going on, I could somehow damage the chances for future reconciliation. I was not willing to risk losing my son and granddaughter forever.

Many people who really didn’t understand the relationship between Dustin and me, thought the feud between us became public when he went on his own and became “Goldust,” a character that seemingly mocked me and my old “Stardust” persona. But in reality, the Goldust creation that he and Vince put together was creative genius, because it allowed Dustin to feed off of an emotion and step out of my shadow and be his own person … and that made me proud. When anybody would ask me how could I be so proud of him for doing that, I’d say because I understand the wrestling business.

While it’s true that Vince tried to play our emotions at one point and attempted to get me to do an angle with Dustin—and it would have been very easy to go there and make a million dollars because I was in need of money at the time—neither one of us would shoot that angle for Vince or anybody else to draw money on this real-life family battle that was going on. Even today, as close as we are, we wouldn’t do it because it would hurt everything that Dustin worked so hard for to establish his own name. But that battle was festering for a long time, and it actually came to a head when I was in full control at WCW.

Terri Boatright was a makeup artist there. I knew she had talent when I first got there, as she was a manager for Terry Taylor doing the Alexandra York character. She had a great knack for wanting to move up. She didn’t
want to be mediocre, she wanted to be on top, but I paid little attention to her.

Well, one night I was in a hotel room, and Dustin showed up and said that they were going to get married. I was drunk and just went off on him, because in my opinion they were not right for each other and that’s all that needs to be said. But Dustin loved her to death, and the more I said, the worse it probably would have gotten. So I kept my mouth shut and I accepted Terri as my daughter-in-law. All I cared about was that she was going to be a good wife to Dustin and a good mother when they had kids. Whatever happened between them is their business, because in my opinion the best thing that came out of that marriage was that it gave Chelle and me a beautiful granddaughter; my first grandbaby, Dakota.

Anyway, Dustin had all this resentment building in him from when he was younger, and the whole thing came to a head over a golf game or something when he said Terri had a headache and he couldn’t go with me. Well, things were said that shouldn’t have been said on my part, and all the resentment on his part came pouring out like an open water hose.

They were powerful times, they were powerful moments, and powerful things were said, and as that went down, Terri would write me these letters saying what an unbelievably bad father I had been to Dustin and that he would never speak to me again. It ate my fucking heart out. I felt she was pushing him away from me, but Dustin was in on it at the time, so they were hard times for us, rocky times that we eventually worked through.

As time passed, Teil and Cody were getting older and I was also closer to Kristin now. Dakota was growing up, and Chelle and I wanted to see our grandbaby. But not seeing Dustin, I got really depressed not having him around; really discouraged, especially since I could see him on TV.

Dustin was the most gifted, the most natural worker there was, probably one of the top five wrestlers in our business today, and without a doubt, the smoothest. He and Barry Windham are two of the most natural athletes to come into our industry systematically. Anyway, with that said, I was going to fly to a town and I always had a fear or big knot in my stomach that I would see Dustin at the airport or something, and sure enough it came to pass. About four years after the big blow up, he was standing in line at Delta Airlines in Atlanta and I walked up, and he turned around, and we spoke for the first time in a very long time. That didn’t mean jack shit to anybody, except to family, and we started talking about what had happened between
us and it was just an amazing, surreal moment, and when we were done, we went our separate ways.

Shortly after that I gave him a call and for all those years of me being this dominating figure, this controlling guy that I am perceived to be by many, who usually dominates our conversations by never letting him talk, never letting him say what he needed to say, it finally came to a head on the telephone.

He said things to me that I can tell myself, but I couldn’t even say to his face. I couldn’t even repeat some of the things that were said to me about what he wanted to do with me. It was amazing, shocking, but he had to get it off his chest to heal. Not one word. But once he got it all out, once he finally got all that out of his system, I knew for the first time we legitimately might have a chance to patch the thing up, because for the first time I listened to him … and I agreed with him.

“I’m not one of those people who can come off the cuff with words with your father. I was very intimidated by my father. He was very intimidating … and he still is and I love him to death … and I would never cross that path again, ever … so I started writing stuff down like a script to tell him over the phone. When the call finally happened, for the start of that five-year stint, I read everything off the piece of paper … I was scared to death and so fucking nervous my heart was beating, butterflies were racing, but I told him this and that and that was it. Boom! That was it! I didn’t talk to him for five years. That was a tough five years. I regret the decision that I made, but I made it. I’m the one who did it. I can’t put the blame on anyone else. I blame myself for that. But I regret it and it was tough.”

—D
USTIN
R
UNNELS
, S
ON

“You’re right. …” What could I say about a guy who takes off for 14 fucking years except for a visit here and there, while his son’s whole life he’s felt that way? I can say a lot about guys in the wrestling business, but I wasn’t any better than they were in that respect.

Now that I was older, I wanted my children to be close to me. I wanted them to be a part of my life, and I wanted to be a part of theirs, and that comes to pass with just about everybody who has been in that position as they get older. And like a wish on a shooting star that came true, it finally
was made possible, and Barry Windham was involved in helping me make it happen.

I was still with WCW and we were at the Jacksonville Coliseum. We were doing this angle with the late Bobby Duncum, Jr. who was doing the good old boys thing with Curt Hennig, Barry and Kendall Windham, and that’s what was going down on this particular day. They were going to shoot this video of them riding bikes on Barry’s property, which was real close by. Well, Dustin had just bought a new truck and Barry talked him into coming over. I didn’t know this and I didn’t even know where Dustin lived at that point. Well, Barry came in and walked over to me and said, “Dustin is in the parking lot. He wants to see you.”

“I was on Barry’s property when they were shooting this video, just hanging out with him and having fun and he said, come on to Jacksonville. Dad was there, though. I thought about it for a little bit and at this point it was like, what the hell. I’m making good money, who gives a shit? So I pulled into the back of the Jacksonville Coliseum, Barry and Curt are standing out back and Barry went inside and told dad that I was there and I was like, oh shit … first time I’ve seen him, talked to him in five years … about 15 minutes went by or so and here he comes walking outside. It was one of those moments that you can’t explain to anybody … it’s so electrified and so scary too, at the same time. He started walking from the back door of the Coliseum and I was back up there kind of by the gate sitting in my truck … and he was walking toward me with his head down and walking toward me with his hat on and he didn’t stop, and I was looking at him and I was like, God, oh God … what the hell … scared to death and wanting so much and my dad … my dad walked up and he grabbed me, and … Barry and Curt, they walked off .”

—D
USTIN
R
UNNELS

I don’t know why, but I knew, I just knew he was coming because this meeting had to happen. I had those same knots in my stomach that I’d get when I traveled, thinking I would bump into him. Anticipation, trepidation, whatever you want to call it, and I walked outside and I saw my son. It was a very cool moment with a lot of love there and just like loads of love on my shoulder. The emotion was unbelievable. The guilt was always there and will always be there, it will be my guilt forever. But that was the real moment I
waited for and there was nothing better at that particular moment in time; just him and me locked in that love hug.

“… and he grabbed me and put his arms around me, I put my arms around him and … whew … it was fucking intense … an intense moment, man. It was so intense … I just can’t explain it. It was coming out of my eyes and I was just shaking. It was one of those moments. I’m holding him and he’s holding me and I don’t even remember the conversation. It was so good to be in his arms, and for me to be putting my arms around him. Standing up three, four inches taller than him, I had gone and stepped off and did Goldust and done this and that and stepped out of his shadow a little bit. But right then and there, that’s one of those moments that I will never, ever, ever forget.”