Dusty: Reflections of Wrestling's American Dream (34 page)

One of the things people both in and out of the business often ask me is how do I do what I do? In other words, how do I come up with a particular
idea about a specific match? What is my thought process about creating a new tag team? How do I determine which wrestlers will face each other and for what titles?

While I’ve given you just a little bit of an idea above of what goes through the mind of an executive producer like myself, I thought it would be both fun and educational to really show you what crosses the mind of a matchmaker by actually booking a fictional card that I’d like to call “Starrcade Prime.”

I’m calling it “Starrcade Prime” for two reasons. First, because “Starrcade” was the biggest show there ever was before the advent of pay-per-view; and second, because every performer who I’ve chosen to be on this super card was considered as if he were in the “prime” of his career.

Now, there’s a lot that goes into a selection process, so let’s consider the following: “Starrcade Prime” will be a televised event, but not a pay-per-view. Because of the caliber of matches, there’ll be two announcing teams that will switch off during the show. The first team will be the legendary Gordon Solie and Jim Ross, while the second team will be Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.

I chose Gordon because he’s the guy who will be able to “tell the story” to the viewers of what is unfolding in the ring, while keeping it “real,” especially with the types of wrestlers I’ve chosen, because he had the big call. I teamed him up with J.R. because in many ways they are similar. J.R. would be able to add to the realism as he too has the knack for the big call, reinforcing what Gordon would be saying. Plus J.R. is the guy who I said earlier I would have when going to war. When he’s on his game, there’s no better. None. Because these guys are the best solo announcers there ever were in my opinion, and because they loved the business like no other two announcers I ever saw or heard, I think they would complement each other perfectly.

Now, like a great tag team, the second team was chosen because of their chemistry. In my opinion, when it came to announcing teams, there was none better than when Gorilla teamed with either Jesse or Bobby. As a team, they had style, charisma, and were just plain entertaining. Gorilla was a great straight man to his more flamboyant partners. So, in order to keep the chemistry intact, I’ve decided to make this announcing team a three-man squad with Gorilla being the play-by-play pivot man between two really great color analysts.

While no fan ever bought a ticket to come to an arena to see a television announcer, they certainly didn’t buy a ticket to see the referee. However, the great referees knew not only when to be seen and heard, but more importantly when to be the most important invisible person in the ring. The two guys in my opinion who had this quality the best, and therefore are my referees for this card, are Tommy Young and Earl Hebner.

Just as important as the matches themselves, sometimes you’ve got to have the right building to create something special and the right person to promote that building. There are a lot of great buildings that come to mind. Some of my favorites include the old Sportatorium in Dallas, the Cow Palace in San Francisco, the Omni in Atlanta, the Kiel Auditorium in St. Louis, Cobo Hall in Detroit, the Olympic Auditorium in Los Angeles, and the Miami Beach Convention Center.

Now, if “Starrcade Prime” were to be a pay-per-view, then hands down Madison Square Garden, the Mecca of wrestling if you will, would be the location and Vince McMahon Jr. would be the promoter, because he would know how to hype this thing like no one else. But since it’s not a pay-per-view, then the building of choice would be what I always considered the Madison Square Garden of the south—the Fort Homer W. Hesterly Armory in Tampa—and the local promoter would be Sam Mushnick, the legendary president of the NWA and promoter from St. Louis. In its heyday the Armory could hold about 5,800 people, 6,000 with standing room only. The ambiance of that building with that single spotlight over the ring in the darkened, smoke-filled building … well, that’s what wrestling was all about; every eye on that ring with no distractions. Man, I get goosebumps just thinking about that. While Sam never promoted Tampa, nobody knew how to promote a local event like him, not even the great Paul Boesch who became a multimillionaire by running just one city, Houston. Sam was one of the first promoters who utilized every medium there was to draw a house, and so he gets the nod for “Starrcade Prime.”

There’s no doubt that there will be many raised eyebrows, both for my selection of matches and for the apparent absence of some people on the card, many of who I’ve discussed previously in the book. Plus, I’ve decided that it’s not up to me to decide who would win or lose these fantasy matches, because if a card is booked the right way, it really doesn’t matter who wins or loses, only that it draws a profitable house and keeps everyone on it strong to ensure they will be able to continue drawing strong houses going forward.

With that in mind, I’ve also chosen who would be the booker and assistant bookers for this historic card. These would be the guys who would make sure there would be a good rhythm to the show, that all the finishes would be executed correctly and that the goals of keeping everyone on the card strong and ensuring they will be able to continue drawing strong houses after this card would be met.

The booker would be Eddie Graham. His assistants would be Jim Barnett and Jerry Jarrett. These three guys would probably come up with more creative stuff than you could imagine, while keeping everything very simple. Over the years I enjoyed listening to their bullshit, because they were even better at bullshitting than me. What’s great from my perspective is these three guys together wouldn’t try to reinvent the wheel. They’d use their knowledge of the business, current events and knack of reading the fans to book the greatest card in the history of the business.

While there would be many other factors to consider in putting a card of this magnitude together, it would probably take a whole book itself to explain the angles and buildups to get to this point, but we don’t have the luxury of time here.

So, with all that said, and without further delay, here now is “Starrcade Prime,” 10 main-event matches courtesy of that little ol’ matchmaker, me!

“The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes vs. Harley Race

This would be for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. I could have chosen a number of opponents to face on this card who would guarantee a sellout, such as Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard, Terry Funk, Abdullah the Butcher, or Kevin Sullivan. I drew great money with all these guys, but I never drew the type of money with them like I did with Harley. This is the match that drew the most arena money during our prime than anything else. The match itself would be a classic, and because we’ve worked so many times against each other, it would be spot on. The bottom line is this match is a proven commodity, so this is the match that gets my nod to close out “Starrcade Prime.”

Hulk Hogan vs. Bruno Sammartino

This one would be for the WWWF title. If the card would be at Madison Square Garden instead of the Armory, this would be the one that everyone would line up to see. It’s the one match everyone wanted to see take place, but it never happened. I believe Bruno had more sellouts at the Garden than any wrestler in history, while Hogan was the king of the PPVs. While both were enormously popular in their prime, Bruno never played the bad guy to my knowledge, so you’d have to figure that the Hulkster would take that role here. “Well, you know something brother,” while Bruno saw very little action in Florida, Tampa is Hogan’s hometown, so it would be interesting to see who would come out on top, “Doggone it!”

The Sheik vs. Mark Lewin

This match would be for the United States title. I personally witnessed this match as a young lad first hand in the Detroit territory and of all the matches I’ve ever seen, this is the one I “mark” for as they say. As I mentioned earlier, The Sheik and Mark Lewin were the greatest heel and babyface I’d ever seen, which is saying a lot. I probably learned more from watching these two work each other than any other match in my career. I don’t know what more I can say about these two that I haven’t already said earlier, except don’t confuse the Sheik with the guy who was the Iron Sheik, because the original Sheik is the measuring stick for which all other heels are judged.

Jose Lothario vs. Ric Flair

With the exception of one other match, this is the one that I think could be the potential “show stealer,” as these two would battle for the Texas Heavyweight Championship. Lothario was one of the greatest natural workers I’ve both seen and worked against, and when you talk about owning a town, he was the guy. There were some cities that you couldn’t even imagine beating Lothario for fear of a riot breaking out. So I think with the strong Hispanic population in Tampa and Flair’s ability to be a natural heel, the heat here would potentially be nothing short of tremendous. While I’ve said a lot about Ric’s style and ability, he has always risen to the occasion when the money is on the line, and so I think his approach going into this match would fit perfectly with Jose’s.

Terry and Dory Funk Jr. vs. “Cowboy” Bill Watts and Black Jack Mulligan

Being the only tag-team match on the card, there are a lot of tag teams I could have chosen, but in a match for the World Tag-Team titles, there’s no other team that would belong there except the Funks. The Rock-n-Roll Express, the Midnight Express, the Fabulous Freebirds, the Wild Samoans, the Brisco Brothers, and Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard, are among countless others as some of the great tag teams that drew money over the years. But in my opinion, Terry and Dory were the greatest tag team ever, period. I know a lot of people say the “Minnesota Wrecking Crew” of Gene and Ole Anderson were the very best, but I personally think they were overrated. The Funks had a chemistry that was unmatched in any team I had seen before or since. As for their opponents, I chose Watts and Mulligan for the sheer brutality of them being a babyface tandem in this match up. To my knowledge Bill and Bobby Jack never teamed up before and I think it would be a good fit to work the Funks. I’ve already said plenty about Dory and Terry, but Bill and Black Jack were two guys who could do some legitimate ass whooping. When Bobby Jack made up his mind to kick your ass, you knew you were going to get your ass handed to you. Bill was also a tough S.O.B. If you’ve ever heard the word “stiff” used in the business before as a description of how guys work in the ring for their believability factor, this would be the match that would illustrate that style.

Jack Brisco vs. Dick Murdoch

In this contest for the Florida Heavyweight Championship, you have the guy who was a hero to me in Jack facing the guy who was my soul mate in this business and the person who should have been the NWA World Heavyweight Champion. This is another match that is a proven product as I witnessed this match up many times and it was really a cool program. Like I said, when Hoyt was on, there was none better, and Jack was so smooth in the ring, he had that special instinct on knowing how to read a crowd by listening to its reaction. From a pure wrestling perspective, this could potentially be the best match on the card.

Fritz von Erich vs. “Big Thunder” Gene Kiniski

With America’s Title on the line, this is another proven match for drawing money by standing on its own. If the match were held in Texas, it could probably be the only match on the card and still draw a huge house. This was the match that was the headliner for the first big outdoor show I remember in Arlington. While many will remember Fritz as a fan favorite in his later years, in his early days he was one of the most hated heels ever, portraying a goose-stepping, iron cross-wearing Nazi. Kiniski, on the other hand, was a former Canadian Football League player with the Edmonton Eskimos, who won the NWA World Heavyweight Championship by defeating my first hero, Lou Thesz, in 1966, only to lose it in this very building to Dory Funk, Jr. three years later. It would be interesting to see if Fritz’s claw could make “Big Thunder” submit in the same building he submitted to Funk in when the Spinning Toe Hold was applied.

“Chief “ Wahoo McDaniel vs. Johnny Valentine

This match would be for the North America Title and recreates one of the greatest feuds of all time. While both men had successful stints in Florida during their respective careers, both received their legendary status for taking two very different paths. Wahoo was very aware of being a role model for Native Americans and therefore was the perfect babyface at times, while Valentine personified the heel role with his cocky mannerisms and arrogance. While Wahoo was one of the most intense and violent performers in the ring, often opening up cuts on his opponent’s chest with his tomahawk chops, Valentine is considered by many to be the best ever in getting his story across to the fans, something I personally witnessed and learned from. In 1970 Wahoo defeated Valentine in a vicious match for the Texas Heavyweight title, therefore making this “Starrcade Prime” match up the other bout that could potentially be the “show stealer.”