Dystopyum (The D-ot Hexalogy Book 1) (9 page)

“They have to do this,” he tried to tell himself. “It is necessary for
national order. We can’t let the virus of love loose in society. It breeds
traitors. It leads to breakdown of discipline. Discipline is necessary to
survival and to productivity.” He was merely repeating more Temple
dogma, trying to reinforce his alliance with this system within which he
was embedded. Still, it did not make him feel much better.
When Griswolt had finished in the kitchen, he joined Jan in the living
room to play the game.
Jan seemed to forget his pain for a while, and he started to relax a
little. Driven from his consciousness, however, happiness was not yet
permitted to return.
It appeared evident to Griswolt that Jan was loosening up.
“Is Rebecca home yet?” Jan asked.
Griswolt felt another pull of angst.
Rebecca,
he thought.
What’s going
to happen over there, with her mother being sent away for a year? Who is
Hais going to keep when the year is up? Rebecca or Salom? One of them
has to go.
He sighed. The person on the phone earlier told Griswolt that
the NOV sent Rebecca home today, just like Jan.
I guess Hais was home
to bring her in today,
he thought with a shrug. He answered Jan,
“Rebecca came home today, Jan, just like you.”
“Can I see her?” Jan asked, expectantly.
“No, not today, son,” Griswolt replied.
God only knows what it’s like
over there.
“She had a bad time like you. I’m sure she needs to rest.”
“Rest won’t work,” responded Jan, as he moved a game piece. “It’s
your turn.”
“Sure, son. Here we go,” Griswolt said as he rolled the dice. He was
pleased with how things were going. He thought a moment, and said,
“You know, it’s safe to take a bath now since I’m here. We really should
clean those sores off.”
Jan stopped playing, and looked down. He looked at two wounds on
his left arm, and scratched at one of them. Then he lifted his face towards
Griswolt, bearing an apprehensive look and asked, “Will you stand by the
door?”
“Of course I will,” Griswolt said with a big smile. Then he became
serious. “I’m going to protect you Jan. Nobody will ever hurt you again.
It’s all over.”
Jan still had that worried air, deficient in trust, but Griswolt’s last
statement melted some of his anxiety. He gave a shy smile, just a little
one, but he was starting to feel safer. For now —
there’s always her,
though,
he thought, and his smile disappeared.
They played the game a few times. They then spent the rest of the
evening sitting together in the living room, listening to radio, and
occasionally talking about things not too serious. Later, Jan took his bath
and then got ready for bed. Griswolt assured him that Martha would be
asleep all night because of the medicine he gave her.
In the meantime, six hours had gone by since Griswolt sedated Martha with the paralyzing dose. She had been lucid enough to hold it in her
mouth to spit out later, but a lot had still been absorbed. She was able to
move her head slightly now, but had been unable do much else. Earlier,
Griswolt had propped her head up a bit with the pillows. She had a good
view of the room, but her dazed attention was loosely focused on one
thing: the heavy painting on the opposite wall. She knew something
dangerous was behind the painting, but could not think of what it was.
Had she not been so heavily sedated, she would have found it maddening. Martha stared in wonder at the mystery before her. After another
hour, she was able to get up, barely. She wobbled weakly over to the
painting. When she tried to think about what was there, her mind would
just go blank. She started to move the painting, and the heaviness of the
big frame felt familiar.
“There’s something here, I just know it!” she said with frustration.
Martha pulled the painting out away from the wall, and looked behind it.
She found a large pocket attached to the back of the painting. She pulled a
few envelopes out from the pocket, and sat down on the bed with them.
I
know this,
she slowly thought to herself.
What are they?
She started
reading them, and recognized them.
These are love-lover pages!
Martha
said to herself in shock. She threw them down in horror.
Why did I keep
these? What was I thinking?
“What’s this?” Martha asked aloud as she opened the envelope with
the letter she had written to herself. As it opened, the photographs she had
taken fell out. “What are these?” she exclaimed loudly in utter revulsion
as she examined the photos. She started shaking.
Martha spastically jumped up, put the pages and the letter in the top
drawer of her dresser, and pulled out some matches. She went back to the
foot of the bed with all the photographs, and started burning them on the
floor, cursing at them.
Meanwhile, Griswolt had just come upstairs after putting Jan to bed,
and he heard motion in the bedroom. He did not pay it much attention
until he heard Martha’s voice. He decided to check it out, and went to the
bedroom. Upon opening the door, Griswolt smelled the smoke, and then
saw Martha being crazy and he yelped, “What are you burning?”
She was sitting there on the floor, with a nice little fire going in front
of her made of flaming photographs. The pictures apparently caught fire
quite well.
“You go to hell!” Martha barked.
“Well, that's where Salom is going,” Griswolt shot back, “She failed
love-deprogramming school, and she's in jail now.” W
hy did I say that?
I’m shot — I just can’t do this right.
He made his way toward her.

Martha was staring into the pile of burning photos on the floor. “Salom?” she said with a confused look.
Griswolt made his move and grabbed the hand that was holding the
matches. He then stomped on the pictures until the fire was out. “What
were you thinking?” he yelled in exasperation. He surveyed the carpet.
That burn is there for good,
he thought. He looked at Martha. She wasn’t
fighting. She was obviously still very drugged.
I’ll give her about six
more drops before bed,
he thought.
I had better get her to the bathroom
first.
She obliged. He went with her down the hallway, and into the
bathroom. She was sedated enough that she let him help her so she would
not fall. After they returned to the bedroom, he gave Martha the narcotic,
and then left her there in bed.
Griswolt would be sleeping in the living room, with the door to Jan’s
room downstairs just a few feet away. He had hung a bell on Martha’s
door, so he could hear if she opened it.
He then lay down on the old gray gendra hide sofa, and went to sleep.

Griswolt got up half-awake from the sofa, gave a good
stretch, and answered the phone.
It was his secretary, Mari, calling. She told him that his
boss was exceedingly angry that Griswolt had departed the office before
meeting with the Secretary General’s liaison.
Griswolt had left in a panic the day before, without waiting for the
liaison. He had used the excuse that his wife was bleeding at home but in
cases like this, there was no excuse. He had to come in to the office today.
The liaison would be returning today, and Griswolt still had to meet with
and update the liaison about issues relating to his department.
Griswolt did not have time to get Jan re-instated in daycare, as he was
obviously not ready for school. “I’ll just make sure Martha is sedated
enough to last until I get home,” he said to himself. He went downstairs to
tell Jan he had to leave.
Jan was not happy to hear that Griswolt had to leave. He was just
waking up, and rubbing his eyes.
“What about
her
?” Jan asked, with the same change in appearance
that seemed to come now whenever he mentioned his mother.
“I’ll give your mother some medication to let her sleep all day. I need
to trust you to behave, OK?”
“Can I go over to Rebecca’s today?” Jan asked.
“Not until I come home, Jan. We don’t know how bad it is over there.
Rebecca’s mother is in jail, and I don’t know how Hais is taking all this.
It might be ugly, so wait for me.” Griswolt examined Jan’s response to
see if he looked like he would listen, but couldn’t be sure.
“I have to go now, Jan. I’ll put some snacks out in the kitchen for
you, and there is more food in the refrigerator. I need to leave now,
though.”
After giving Martha six more drops of the sedative, Griswolt then left
for the day. Once again, she spit it out after he left the room, but was still
absorbing a goodly amount through the mucous membranes of her mouth.
Jan found himself lying in bed, staring at his eggshell colored ceiling,
trying to think. He had great difficulty holding onto any solid thoughts
yet. His mind could simply not focus on anything for very long. Whenever he had a line of thought for more than a few minutes, it would be
invaded by his memories of love-deprogramming school. Each time, he
would repress it and think of something else. He was understandably
restless, so he got up, and went upstairs to eat.
When Jan was upstairs in the kitchen, he peeked down the hallway at
his mother’s room. Her closed door still had the bell hanging from it. He
proceeded to open the refrigerator, and pulled a bottle of milk out. After
retrieving a cup for it, he helped himself to some yama chips set out for
him on the stainless steel kitchen table. Unlike the bread, the chips were
salty.
“Dad was really nice yesterday,” he said to himself. While munching
on the chips, he looked darkly down the hallway again and said, “I hope
she never wakes up.” As his thoughts flitted about, he wondered, “What
does Rebecca have to say about that school?” After filling up on the
chips, he decided that he had to see Rebecca.
He slipped into some outdoor clothes, and Jan left his home to go
over to Rebecca’s house As he exited his front door, the brightness of the
day caused his eyes to squint. Other than the day before, he had not seen
the sun for a month. The sun felt good, though. The days were getting
cooler now by the week.
Jan walked up to Rebecca’s door and knocked loudly. It felt good to
bang something hard with his fist. There was no answer. Jan was feeling
disappointed, but had no place else that he wanted to be. He knocked
some more.
After a while, Rebecca did finally come to the door, and asked,
“Who’s out there?”
His heart leapt when he heard her. “Rebecca! It’s me! Jan! Open up!”
he shouted. His mood instantly lifted at the sound of his best friend’s
voice.
“My dad said to not open the door for anyone, not even you!” Rebecca called out from the other side of the door.
“Your dad is a gendra’s ass!” retorted Jan loudly, repeating what his
father had said so many times.
The door opened. “You sure got that right,” the little girl responded,
but she wasn’t joking or smiling. She did not look the same. For a second,
Jan wondered if they switched Rebecca with another little girl. She had
the same scabs that Jan had, and it made him remember —
“Can I come in?” Jan asked.
“I guess so,” Rebecca said lifelessly. She looked Jan over, confused,
“You look different.”
“So do you.” Jan walked in, and accompanied Rebecca into the living
room. The place was a mess. Soiled clothes were collecting in various
places around the house, and a stench wafted from the kitchen of dirty
dishes piled up, old food still on them. Jan did not know why he was
there. He really did not want to connect with anyone when it came down
to it. Still, he was hoping for something normal to happen.
“Where’s your mom?” he asked.
Rebecca’s face turned to ice. “She’s not coming back. She failed
school, and now they are sending her to jail for a year.” She sighed, and
then barked, “I’m glad! I never want to see her again! I hate her.”
Rebecca paused, as if thinking of more to say, “I hate my dad, too. He
said he’s going to keep her when she comes back next year. They’ll send
me to an orphanage.” Her shoulders sank as she confessed, “He doesn’t
want me.” She looked at Jan and bitterly said, “He would keep me if I
was a boy!”
While Jan waited for her to finish talking, Rebecca hesitated another
moment, and then exclaimed, “I hate him, and I hate her! In fact, I hate all
grown-ups. I’d like to throw them all in the fire! They all stink!”
Jan understood what she meant. “They
do
all stink!” he replied. “All
their stupid rules...” He could not find the right words to express his
frustration with the fact that adults did such horrible things. His face went
into a deep frown when he told Rebecca, “My mother tried to kill me
yesterday.” As much as he hated his mother now, he still could not
comprehend that she would attempt such a thing. He could not even begin
to let
that
one go.
Rebecca measured him for truth, and then she expressed surprising
empathy, responding, “
Your
mama?” She was truly shocked at the
incongruent picture in her head. Then she thought about it and decided,
saying, “Well, now you know what they’re
really
like.”
“Yeah. Hey, where’s your knitting stuff?” Jan asked, thinking about
how much she liked to knit, and how he had enjoyed watching her do it in
her peaceful way.
“I don’t know. It’s not where I left it. It doesn’t matter anyway,”
Rebecca sighed, “Nothing matters anymore.” She was trying hard to reach
a scab that was on her back.
Jan said, “Here, let me,” and went to scratch her back for her, and she
leapt away, angrily squalling, “Don’t touch me!” She turned and faced
him and said very seriously, “Nobody touches me, understand?”
Jan understood. He looked at her. Everything was different now.
Everything.
They both had a seat on the sofa in the living room. “Well, what do
you want to do?” she asked, sounding as if she did not feel like doing
anything.
“I don’t know. I just want to stay away from my mother. I don’t want
to be around any grown-ups!” Jan answered.
“Me too,” Rebecca replied. She looked around at the mess and said,
“You know, my dad wants me to clean the house today. You want to help
me?” Her father had told her that he wanted the place to be clean when he
came home from work. A month’s worth of slovenliness was there,
awaiting Salom’s homecoming, but now she was not coming home. The
default fell to Rebecca.
It was not the first thing that Jan felt like doing, but at least it was
some
activity. “OK, I’ll help. If it isn’t done, you’ll get beat for sure.”
Jan and Rebecca started cleaning the living room. It felt good to focus
on something — it took his mind off the hurt.
They spent the entire morning cleaning up the mess of Hais. After
clearing out the living room, they tackled the kitchen. When they finished
that, they went around the other rooms in the house, picking things up and
cleaning whatever needed it.
“My dad will be coming home tonight. I just know he’ll still complain,” Rebecca said with a sigh. Without Salom around, she instinctively
knew he would vent on her now. “I hate everything. I want to run away.”
Jan brightened up with the idea. “Yes, let’s do that. What a great idea,
Rebecca. I know! We can go live at the old box factory! I heard my dad
say it was shut down a long time ago.”
Rebecca looked at him with unexpected inspiration. “Do you really
think we can?” she asked hopefully.
“Anything is better than this!” Jan responded. “Let’s get some food to
take with us.” They then went foraging for food. Jan said, “I’ll go back to
my house to get more food and clothes.”
Jan went running back to his house, opened the front door, and went
inside. He slowly made his way down the stairs, and took a quick look
down the hallway at his mother’s bedroom. The door was still closed.
Good.
He then gathered some clothes, put them in a bag along with some
cans of food, and started up the stairs when the bag fell open, and a few of
the cans fell tumbling down the steps.
“I hope that didn’t wake her up,” Jan whispered to himself as he
nervously looked down the hallway again. He started re-packing the bag.
He heard some movement in his mother’s bedroom and hurriedly left for
Rebecca’s. When he returned to Rebecca’s house, she looked different.
She appeared decidedly panicky.
“I don’t want to do this,” Rebecca complained, “I changed my mind.
What if they catch us? Then what? Will they torture me again?” She was
quivering in fear now with the prospect of the two of them leaving on
their own. “The house is clean now,” was the last reason she could come
up with to stay home.
Jan, deflated for a moment, refused to be defeated. “No! You have to
go with me!” He was not going to do this alone. He wanted his friend
with him. This was the perfect answer. “Please, we need to escape from
the adults.
Please!
”
Rebecca was not budging. She had already started to put her things
away.
I have to do something.
Jan thought. “What about your dad, Hais? Do
you really want to live here alone with that jerk? He has only you to pick
on now, and you know you’ll get the beatings he can’t use on your
mother!”
Rebecca wasn’t listening. She had made her mind up. “It’s better than
torture,” she replied, as she continued to unload her bag.
Still not to be dissuaded, Jan responded, “What about a year from
now, when your mother comes home, and they send you away?”
That got her attention. She stopped. Rebecca’s expression went from
stubborn to sadness. She had learned in love-deprogramming school that
tears were an invitation to more pain, so there were no tears to match the
great, deep sadness she held right then. She looked at Jan, scratching a
scab on the back of her hand. “They’re going to throw me away then.
What’s going to happen to me, Jan? What?”
“So let’s go, now!” Jan responded, hoping that he had won the debate.
The decision was tearing her apart. She had to make up her mind
now, and after mulling it over again, she did decide.
“OK, I’ll go,” Rebecca finally said with resignation. She began to put
the clothes and food back into her bag, and Jan helped. After they were
packed, they headed out the door. The old box factory was about a twohour walk down the road they lived on. They had barely started their trek,
when they were startled by footsteps running up from behind.
It was Jan’s mother, in a sprint, with a wild look in her eyes. Before
they knew it, she was upon them. Martha snagged Jan first, before he
could get away. Then with him in tow, she snatched the back of Rebecca’s coat collar. She started shaking the both of them. Rebecca looked
terrified, shocked at Martha’s appearance. Jan tried to get away, but
Martha had a solid grip on his arm. He swung at Martha with his free arm,
but she head-butted him so hard that he was dizzy for a moment. Then she
dragged them both home, screaming at them all the way.
“You think you’re going to run away, and leave me to explain why
you are gone? I don’t think so. Your father will be certain I killed you
now, and then they’ll send me off for DeathBT. I just bet you’d like that!”
Martha gasped with sudden realization, and said, “That was your plan all
along!” She gave Jan an extra hard yank on the upper arm she was
dragging him with, causing him to cry out. Martha continued her ranting,
and after throwing Rebecca back into her home, she hauled Jan back to
their own house.
Once they were inside, Martha carried Jan downstairs by the arm. In
the kitchen, she threw him to the floor, and yelled, “You stay right there,
or I’ll kill you!” She quickly went to the hall closet and pulled out a set of
Griswolt’s disposable handcuffs he had from work. Returning to the
kitchen, she tied Jan’s wrist to the stove handle. “That should keep you in
one place,” Martha said contemptuously, and then she went to the
bathroom.
Once she was gone, Jan stood up from his crouched position.
If only
we would have left sooner, I wouldn’t be tied to this stove like this.
In his
frenzied state, his mind ran wild.
She’s going to come back and kill me
right here. I saw it in her eyes.
He started looking around for some kind
of way to escape.
I’ve got to do something!
He kept searching. He came
up with an idea.
I know!
Jan then proceeded to grab anything he could reach that would burn.
He took the towels and the bread on the counter, and put them on the
stove. He turned it on, and they quickly caught fire.
I need more,
he
thought.
I know!
He then started to take his pants off, to burn them. This
was difficult, because of his tail, and the fact that he had one arm tied to
the stove. Because of his condition, the plan was simple and insane.
She’ll
have to get us both out of here, and I can run!