Easier Said Than Done (39 page)

I blushed, but was too proud to cover up.

“You look good,” he finished, capturing me in his spell for a few magical seconds before it dawned on me that we were not alone.

“Are you hungry, Teeka?” I asked, inhaling the delicious tapestry of fat, cholesterol and calories, and ignoring Damon.

“I wanna go swimming, “Ingston,” she repeated; her lips poked out.

“Well, if that's what Princess Teeka wants, then that's what Princess Teeka gets.”

“I'm not even sure she can swim, Damon. She's only four.” The protests rose in my throat like bitter bile. Tears threatened as the colors of Teeka's swimsuit blurred into colors from a time long gone. I inhaled as an overwhelming anxiety squeezed my heart. It was too much like before, I realized, with Teeka twirling, just as Joanne had before we'd run unknowingly into the river. If it happened once, it could happen again and I shook my head. Just as I was about to verbally refuse, and lock Teeka safely in my arms forever, Damon placed a calming hand on my shoulder.

“It's okay. I'll be with her.” Despite my continued hesitation, he scooped Teeka up, making her laugh as he ran toward the water. She waved happily, Damon whispering in her ear.

“Eat something.” Olivia handed me a paper plate. “Try not to worry.”

“She just reminded me so much of Joanne.”

Olivia's sigh of sympathy was drowned out by Teeka's gleeful cries.

I broke off a piece of fish and shoved it in my mouth while she piled her plate high with some of everything, dousing it all with hot sauce. For a space of time, we ate in silence before Olivia pulled out a bottle of beer and offered it to me. I shook my head and plucked a bottle of grapefruit soda from the cooler. I propped my book open with one hand.

Olivia took a long swig of Red Stripe. “I'm not going to beat around the bush, Kingston. Of course I don't look it, but I'm much too old for that.” She looked at me long and hard, chewing slowly until her mouth was empty. “I want to know what your intentions are with my nephew.”

It took a minute before her words were absorbed, understood. I sputtered on my drink and for the second time, almost toppled out of my beach chair with laughter. “You want to know my intentions?”

Aunt Olivia pursed her lips as if my question offended her. “Well, I think I have the right to know. I practically raised that boy out there and I'm pretty much all the family he has left. His heart has seen enough heartache to last a lifetime. So I don't want to see any more piled on by the likes of you.”

Something inside me flared at the accusatory tone in her voice. I worked at overlooking it, chalking it up to good intentions.

“Damon's a big boy,” I said, closing my novel so I could focus on Teeka and Damon playing tag with the ocean, tempting and teasing the incoming tide. It was a better option than seething at Olivia.

As Teeka smacked her tiny hand against the water and watched the spray, a swell of nostalgia pushed through me. I couldn't get over it. Teeka reminded me so much of Joanne with her courage and spunk.

Damon waved reassuringly and I relaxed. But the sense of peace was cut short when Olivia hurled her empty plate into a nearby trashcan.

“I know Damon's a big boy,” Olivia snapped, diverting my attention back to her.

I leveled her with a look that forced her retreat.

She placed her hand across her chest and took a few breaths. “I'm worried about him, that's all. Now he was wrong all them years ago. He handled things poorly.” My sharp intake of breath hardly gave her pause. “Yes, he told me about it and I gave him a stern talking to, let me tell you. He was raised to be more of a gentleman. But it all stems back to not knowing his parents and losing Joanne at such a young age. Poor boy doesn't know how to be happy, that's what I think. Having something of his own scares him half to death.”

“So if you know what happened, why are you lecturing me? Damon's the one that you should be talking to.”

“I'm sorry, pumpkin. I guess I get passionate when it comes to Damon. Like I said, it's like he's my own child.” As her eyes watered, I softened and reached over, pressing her hand with mine.

My words were just as gentle. “I have no intention of hurting Damon. I love him as much as you do.” The admission shocked her as much as it did me and that shock spread over her face like a wildfire.

“That's a relief to know,” she said before reclining again. “Just wanted you to understand how everything's affected him and maybe why he acted the way he did.”

I nodded my understanding and gave myself over to the delicious feeling of loving Damon.

Sitting on the beach watching him and Teeka jumping through the white-kissed waves, splashing and laughing in an ocean that stretched to the end of the earth, it was way too easy to lay back and pretend that the three of us were a family. As I closed my eyes, I held that fantasy tight. I wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.

When the excited sound of Olivia's voice woke me, I was disoriented. For a second, I hadn't realized that I'd fallen asleep. Her lips moved and I knew that she was saying something. In the time that it took for me to sit up, I knew something was terribly wrong.

I followed her frantically pointing finger and heard the shouts that echoed from all directions and my body froze. Teeka was no longer in view. Damon was diving in and out of the
ocean surrounded by a crowd of onlookers, but there was no sight of Teeka. I dropped to my knees, only slightly aware of the sand cutting into my skin. Time slowed as Damon sliced through the water. He went under for the third time and came up holding Teeka's small body.

My heart jump-started, then began racing, the thud in my ears blocking out any other noise.

I ran to meet them as Damon trudged up the beach before laying Teeka on a towel, set there by a stranger. I watched as Damon bent over Teeka and administered mouth-to-mouth resuscitation until she coughed up a lungful of saltwater. But I was no longer in the here and now; I was trapped by the memory of a rushing river and a lifeless girl.

He sat Teeka up gently and patted her back until her body was no longer shaking, then picked her up, depositing her into my waiting arms. “It's not like Joanne, Kingston. Teeka's going to be fine. She's alive,” he said, his voice raspy from the saltwater. “It's Teeka. Not Joanne. Teeka.” He repeated her name until the haze that surrounded me, cleared.

Finally, I was able to breathe.

And as I stroked the soft slope of Teeka's face, the rest of the world faded away. I smoothed the hair that had unraveled from her barrettes and kissed her forehead, tasting the ocean on my lips. As the sirens of the ambulance wailed closer, her eyes fluttered open and she jerked again. “It's okay, sweetie. I've got you. I've got you.” I placed kisses all over her face until a barely visible smile lifted the corners of her mouth. When I bent down and put my lips against
her ear, my words were merely a whisper, “See, Teeka, I told you I wouldn't let anything happen to you.”

As her heart beat against mine, a white bird swooped low, wings casting long shadows on the beach. The small echo of Joanne's voice—bringing messages of friendship that endured despite death—carried over the rush of the waves.

“I love you, too,” I replied.

Chapter 33

It was garbage day and the thick smell of decaying trash saturated the entire block.

“Kingston, just go pee on the stick, already.” Keela sighed with exasperation. “There's no sense in stressing out about it if we don't know for sure. Now go pee. I'll hold.”

“Okay, okay. I'll be right back.” I laid down the receiver and trudged to the bathroom to do something I never thought I'd do as a single woman—take a pregnancy test. I squatted over the toilet and tried to pee in a straight stream. It would only take three minutes for the dot to show up pink or not at all. It was quite possibly three of the longest minutes of my life.

At least everyone was gone. I needed peace and quiet. Queenie had gone to the store to pick up ground beef for dinner, and Bianca had taken Teeka to get her hair done, then to get ice cream. I figured I had a good hour or so before they returned—an hour that promised to be full of anxiety or prayer of thanksgiving.

The month had passed quickly. Work consumed much of my time, with the rest being claimed by Teeka. She was thriving under the diligent care of Queenie, Bianca, and myself and I was thriving under her unconditional love.

The turning point had been that fateful day at the beach.

Teeka's near drowning had stirred up feelings that I hadn't bothered to explore since Joanne's death. After that day, the questions about her mother had dwindled from daily to every-so often and it didn't seem to bother Teeka anymore that I didn't have an answer as to when Sharneesha would be joining us. She sometimes even called me Mommy if she was hurt, sleepy, or just wanted to be, which was more than fine with me. Every day with her seemed like sunshine and I was feeling more and more like her real mother.

“I'm back,” I said and sat down at the desk, laying the indicator on a paper towel.

“How long does it take?” Keela asked.

“The package says three minutes.”

“We'll start timing now just to be sure.”

“So what do we do for the next three minutes?”

“Everything's going to be fine, Kingston. Don't worry.”

“I'm a worrier. You know that.”

We sat in silence for a few seconds before Keela chimed in again. “Anything yet?”

I rubbed my forehead in frustration. “You're only making it worse, Keela.”

“Sorry.” She cleared her throat. “Did I tell you that they're planning a baby shower for me at work?”

“Yes, you told me.”

“Did I tell you that it's going to be at Bogart's?”

“Yes, you told me that, too. Can't you think of anything else to talk about besides babies? ”

“My, my, my! Aren't we crotchety this morning? Seems to me like those hormones are kicking in already.”

I looked down at the pregnancy test and my whole body felt like it was cemented to the chair. “I guess they are,” I said, as a pink dot winked back at me. I blinked and looked again, but the color remained the same.

The wrought iron gate squeaked open, so I quickly wrapped the indicator in the paper towel, and tossed it in the waste paper basket.

“They are?” Keela asked, shock seeping through the phone.

“They most certainly are.” I waved at Queenie as she passed through on her way to the back of the house.

“What exactly are you saying?”

I covered the phone and whispered, “Dammit, Keela, you know what I'm saying. I'm pregnant!”

Chapter 34

Two days later, when I walked down to Damon's house, it was all business. I didn't harbor any expectations or high hopes. Far from it. I just wanted to tell Damon that he was going to be a father and that I really did love and want to be with him after all. Then the ball would be in his court.

He'd been in Hope Bay for the past few weeks helping to build a community clinic. It had felt like a year.

Tiny opened the door with a smile and curtsey before ushering me back to his office. Damon was bent over his desk studying a medical chart, his finger saving his place in a thick textbook, a frown furrowing his brow. I cleared my throat to announce my presence and he jumped, startled. He didn't say anything as I closed the door and leaned up against it. A smile flirted with the corners of my lips as he sized me up. I had taken particular care with my dress; a casual fitted shirt and denim skirt hugged and showcased my assets just the way I wanted them to.

He nodded formally, then stood and indicated the chair next to him with a wave of his hand. “Would you like to sit down?”

I shook my head. “I won't be staying long. I can see you're in the middle of something.” That was the excuse I gave, but in reality I didn't want to get too close. I was too busy gazing at his lips and imagining how sweet they would taste and looking at his hands and imagining them all over my body.

“Ms. Gladys was down this morning with a list of symptoms and I'm trying to come up with a diagnosis, but can't find anything. I think it's just loneliness. She's been sick almost once a week since her husband died. She's coming back in about an hour so I have some time.” Damon shrugged. “But suit yourself. How's everything going with the estate?”

“It's going very well. Better than I could have expected. The community has been very responsive. Bianca has stayed to help. We're organizing workshops on etiquette, interviewing, and setting up tutoring sessions.” Walking over, I dropped a check on his desk.

“Speaking of that, this is your first installment from the estate. Hopefully, we can sponsor a free clinic one day soon.” Damon picked up the embossed envelope, but didn't open it. He turned it over once before stashing it in his top desk drawer. “How's Teeka?”

“She's good. She's been asking about you.”

“I was going to come down this afternoon. I wish I could have come down sooner, but it's been busy since my return from Hope Bay,” he explained, his eyes holding mine. “She's okay, isn't she?”

I nodded. “She's fine. I think her near-drowning has shaken me up more than her. And it made me more determined to make sure she's always taken care of. I've talked to the lawyer about filing for legal adoption.”

“If her mother could just abandon her own flesh like that, then she's better off with you.” Damon locked his fingers together behind his head.

“I feel the same way. It's going to take a minute to get used to this motherhood thing. It's a lot harder than it looks, but luckily I've had Bianca and Queenie to help me. At the rate we're going, Teeka's going to be spoiled rotten.”

“A little spoiling never hurt nobody,” Damon said with an amused grin on his face. “I always thought you'd make a great mother, but I'm sure you didn't walk all the way down here to talk about that. Something must be on your mind. So, what can I do for you?”