Easy Little Lick (Copperline #3) (29 page)

“
Dody
?” I heard Max chirp.

I wanted to open my eyes again, but it was so hard to do.

“Cody’s sleeping, baby,” Ilsa’s quiet voice replied. I heard a slight shuffle of movement, and then Sophie’s voice.

“Sorry,” she whispered, “he was getting kind of fussy out there… wanted his mama.”

What the fuck was Sophie doing here?

“It’s okay,” came Ilsa’s muffled response, and in my mind I almost could see her resting her lips against Max’s hair.

“How’s he doing?” Sophie’s voice again.

“He seems to be pretty stable, so it’s just a matter of him waking up. They’re not sedating him anymore.”

“That’s good, considering he just had surgery yesterday morning.”

“Yeah,” Ilsa murmured. “It’s amazing he survived, but even more amazing that he’s doing so well.”

“He’s a strong guy,” Sophie replied. “Brannon just talked to Cody’s mom, and they’re on their way from Ophir. They should be here by morning.”

There was a long silence. I tried to open my eyes, but it was impossible. They felt like they’d been glued shut.

“I shouldn’t be here…” I heard Ilsa whisper.

“What?” Sophie asked. “Why?”

“I’m the reason he’s hurt. His parents won’t want me here.”

“Ilsa, I don’t think they’re like that.”

“They won’t mean to be. I met them once before, and they were very sweet, but they…” She released a shaky breath. “They know I’m not good for Cody. I never have been.”

“They would want Cody to be happy,” Sophie argued softly.

“Could you forgive someone who almost killed your child?” Ilsa asked in a small voice.

“Simon could have killed him, not you. It wasn’t you who did this.”

“Simon wanted to kill him
because
of me,” Ilsa added with finality. “His parents won’t want him with me.”

“He’s stubborn, though,” Sophie added, “and he loves you.”

“And that will just drive a wedge between him and his parents… like I haven’t already caused enough drama in his life.”

I felt Ilsa’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t bring myself out of the choking fog that was pulling back into the darkness. My exhaustion and the morphine won, and I faded into nothing once more.

The room was dim. Only a low light glowed over the sink. The blinds were drawn, but, looking through the cracks, it appeared dark outside. It took me a minute to figure out where I was.

Ilsa… Where was Ilsa?

I turned my head on the pillow. She was still there, curled up in a chair by my bed with Max conked out in another chair beside her. Her fingertips were just barely a hair away from mine, like she’d fallen asleep holding my hand and then slipped away.

I extended my reach slightly, just wanting to touch her.

Her eyes flew open at the brush of my fingers and instantly filled with tears.

“Oh my God, I’m so glad you’re awake,” she whispered.

“Is Max okay?” I could barely talk. My voice sounded thick and rough.

She nodded, blinking quickly. Reaching for a pitcher beside the bed, she leaned forward and brought a glass of ice water close to my lips. The liquid felt incredibly cool against my parched throat.

“Are you okay?” she asked. “Are you hurting?”

I thought about that for a second, remembering the gunshot and wondering if the dull ache in my chest was from that. I tentatively moved my arm, and felt the pain in a different spot. Or all over. It was hard to tell, especially since I still felt pretty groggy.

“Why did you leave?” I suddenly asked, then regretted it when her lower lip trembled.

“I was making you miserable,” she whispered, shaking her head.

“That’s not true.” I tried to shake my head, but felt so stiff and sore that I barely moved.

“It is, though, Cody. Your life was so easy and mellow. Then I showed up and suddenly you’re getting in fights… I was keeping secrets… and Simon… how you felt after you found out.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me? You could have trusted me.”

“I wanted to… so many times,” she whispered and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you. Well, at first it was, maybe. When I first met you, I was scared of being found out. As I got to know you, though, it wasn’t fear of what you might do. It was fear
for
you… I was afraid of what might happen to you because of me.”

“Ils—”

“I was doing something wrong by running away, Cody. By taking Max away from his father, I basically kidnapped him. For all I knew, Simon had gone to the authorities, and I was a fugitive. I knew you’d protect me, but telling you…” She trailed off as she swallowed hard. “It would have made you an accomplice. It would have gotten you in trouble unless you turned me in.”

“I would have never done that,” I said.

Her hazel eyes held a sad smile. “I know. You would have taken a fall for me. You kinda did, actually, when you were shot because of me. I don’t deserve that, Cody.”

“Ils—” I began again, but she took my hand in hers, studying it as she traced my fingers with her own.

“I tried so hard not to love you.”

But I wanted her to love me.

“Do you?” I asked, almost afraid that even now she might say no.

She kept her eyes lowered for a moment, doing nothing to ease my trepidation, but finally lifted them to look at me once more and nodded.

“I do,” she whispered. “I really do.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling her words wash over me. The haze of medicines and injury made it difficult to open them again, but I fought through it to look at her once again.

“Will you stay?” I asked. “Stay here with me.”

She furrowed her brow and looked down again. “I have to go tie up all the loose ends in Indy, now that Simon’s gone…”

God, I didn’t want her to leave.

“Will you come back?”

Say yes… say yes.

“Are you sure you want me to?” she asked. “You may not feel the same once you’re off the pain meds. And your parents must hate—”

A quiet knock at the door interrupted whatever more she was going to say, and a nurse came in, stopping short when she saw my open eyes.

Shit… fuck…

I wanted to tell her to go away, but she never really gave me the chance.

“Oh, wonderful,” she smiled. “You’re awake.” She poked her head back out the door and mumbled something to someone about sending for the doctor on call, and stepped up to the bed.

Right about that time, Max started fidgeting where he slept in the other chair, waking up in an unfamiliar place and appearing somewhat rattled. He looked around, calming some when he saw his mom, then pointed at me.

“
Dody
,” he said. “
Ooch
.”

“Yeah,” Ilsa murmured as she picked him up and held him close, “Cody’s got an
ooch
, baby.”

“He sure does,” the nurse added. “A big
ooch
. I’m going to change the dressing, so you two should maybe step outside for a bit.”

“Right,” Ilsa replied, then paused before she continued in a shaky breath. “I should take Max to go get something to eat anyway, so, uh… I’ll be back in a bit.”

She stepped over to me, leaning over to kiss my forehead.

“I love you,” she whispered, and then turned and left the room with Max.

She didn’t come back.

I’d been back in Ophir for about two months, back to playing the drums for about half that time, although still not as much or as hard as before. My body was a little slow to recover. Having a bullet tear through your flesh will do that to a person. I was still tender, and I tired more quickly than I used to, but I needed to get back to my rhythm. I needed something to do, something to live for. Something to distract me.

Because Ilsa still hadn’t come back.

Maybe she was gone for good.

Sometimes at night, I woke up feeling like I was still in the hospital. I heard her quiet voice in my dreams. I felt her soft touch on my hand.

I didn’t know how to reach her. The cell phone number she’d had before was now out of service. I knew it was a pay-as-you-go, so that didn’t surprise me all that much that it wasn’t valid any longer.

I didn’t know if she was still in Indianapolis, or if she’d moved on. I wanted to go find her, to track her down by using the address she’d given me when Simon had taken her and Max. I didn’t know if she was still suffering some shell-shock after everything that had happened. Or if Max was. While the memories were sketchy for me, especially after being shot, it was possible the traumatic experience had messed with his tiny little kid head.

I didn’t know if I’d
ever
know.

I only knew that I missed them.

I missed Ilsa and her shy smiles. I missed her quiet presence at the Copperline. I missed her sweet lips and, even though we only had a good week or so where we were truly together, I missed holding her at night. I missed waking up and having ‘
mook’
with Max or hearing him call me ‘
Dody
’
in that excited little chirp.

I even found myself listening to fucking K-pop. I had no idea what a majority of it said, but one song said something like ‘
I want you back back back back back
’… and I did.
Totally
. With every fiber of my being. That line echoed through my head pretty much nonstop, interchanging with one where some chicks said ‘
baby, I’m so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
’ over and over.

K-pop was rather repetitive.

Denny and Felicity, Brannon and Sophie, Drew and Maggie (okay, maybe not Maggie because she was kind of a bitch), and even Justin tried to keep my hope alive.

Yeah, even
Justin
.