Easy Way to Stop Smoking (10 page)

Some years ago the UK adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man called a radio chat show I was listening to on the subject, irate. He said, ‘This is completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.' A smoker views this as proof that cigarettes aid relaxation but the truth is that it just demonstrates that smokers are tense when they
aren't
smoking.

Nicotine withdrawal creates feelings of slight tension and anxiety. When the smoker lights up he removes these feelings and can relax, like a non-smoker. But as soon as he puts the cigarette out, withdrawal begins and the feeling of tension and anxiety returns. So he needs to light up again and again…

This is the saddest thing about smoking. We smoke so that we can remove the feelings of withdrawal and feel like a non-smoker.

Smoking is full of inconsistencies and inaccuracies and one of the biggest is the myth that cigarettes relax us. If they did, smokers would be more relaxed than non-smokers. This is clearly not true. In fact, even most smokers will admit that the opposite is true.

The next time you are in a supermarket and you see a young mother or father screaming at a child, just watch them leave. Nine times out of ten, the first thing they will do is light a cigarette. Start watching smokers, particularly in situations where they are not allowed to smoke. You'll find that they have their hands near their mouths, or they are twiddling their thumbs, or tapping their feet, or fiddling with their hair, or clenching their jaw and grinding their teeth. Smokers aren't relaxed. They've forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. This is one of the many joys you have to look forward to—to once again know what it feels like to be totally relaxed.

The whole business of smoking can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. But at some stage the plant begins to eat the fly. Isn't it time you escaped from the nicotine trap?

N
o, a combination cigarette is not when you are smoking two or more at the same time. When that happens, you begin to wonder why you were smoking the first one. I once burned the back of my hand trying to put a cigarette in my mouth when I already had a lit one there. Actually, it is not quite as stupid as it sounds. As I have already said, eventually the cigarette ceases to relieve the withdrawal pangs, and even when you are smoking, you sense that something is missing. This is the curse of the chain-smoker. Whenever you need a boost, you find that you are already smoking, and this is why so many heavy smokers turn to drink or other drugs. But I digress.

A combination cigarette is one where two or more of our primary triggers for smoking, (i.e. boredom, concentration, relaxation and stress) are present at the same time. Social functions
like parties or weddings are good examples of occasions that can be both stressful and relaxing. This might at first appear to be a contradiction, but it isn't. Any form of socializing can be a little bit stressful, even with friends, and at the same time you are enjoying yourself and relaxing.

There are even situations where all four primary triggers are present at one and the same time. Driving can be one of these. If you are leaving a tense situation, like a visit to the dentist or the doctor, you can now relax. At the same time driving always involves an element of stress. Your life is at stake. You also have to concentrate. And if you are stuck in a traffic jam, or have a long drive on a highway, you may also be bored.

Another classic example is a game of cards. If it's a game like poker, you have to concentrate. If you are losing, it's frustrating which can be stressful. If you have long periods of not getting a decent hand, it can be boring. And, while all this is going on, you are at leisure; you are supposed to be relaxing. During a game of cards, all smokers will be chain-smoking, no matter how slight the withdrawal pangs are. Even so-called ‘casual' smokers will smoke much more than usual. The ashtrays will fill and overflow in no time. There'll be a constant bluish fog hovering above the table and even the smokers will complain about how smoky the room is getting. If you were to ask any of the smokers whether they were enjoying it, they would look at you as if you were mad. It is often after nights like these, when we wake up with a throat like sandpaper and a mouth like a cesspit that we decide to try to stop smoking.

These combination cigarettes are often considered by smokers to be ‘special' ones, the ones we think we'll miss the most when we stop smoking. We think that life will never be quite as enjoyable again.

Most of these so-called ‘special' cigarettes come either at a time that's enjoyable anyway, regardless of whether you are a smoker or a non-smoker (after a meal, a coffee break, having
a drink with friends etc.) in which case the cigarette is getting the credit for something that is fun anyway, or after a period of abstinence (after a meal, a coffee break, the first of the day, after a long flight etc.) where we are enjoying not the cigarette, but the ending of the irritation of not being allowed to smoke. This is explained in more detail in the coming chapters.

A
BSOLUTELY NOTHING! The thing that makes it difficult to quit is fear: the fear that we are being deprived of our pleasure or crutch; the fear that pleasant situations will never be quite as pleasant without the cigarette; the fear of being unable to cope with stressful situations.

The effect of the brainwashing is to delude us into believing that we are weak and fragile and that we need something to help us through the stresses and strains of life. We believe that stopping smoking will leave a void in our lives.

Get it clear in your mind: CIGARETTES DO NOT FILL A VOID. THEY CREATE ONE!

These bodies of ours are the most sophisticated machines on the planet. Whether you believe in a divine creator, a process of evolution and natural selection or a combination of both, it is safe to assume that if we were meant to smoke, we would
have been provided with some sort of filter to screen out the hundreds of toxins contained in tobacco smoke.

In fact, our bodies are provided with foolproof systems to enable us to distinguish between food and poison. We don't even need the health warnings on cigarette packs—our body instinctively knows it is being poisoned. When we smoke, our body sends us warning signs in the form of the cough, dizziness, and nausea and we ignore these at our peril.

The beautiful truth is that there is nothing to ‘give up'. Once you purge the ‘little monster' from your body and the brainwashing from your mind, you will neither want nor need cigarettes.

Cigarettes do not improve meals. They ruin them. They destroy your sense of smell and taste. As a smoker, all you can think about is why everyone else is eating so slowly and when it will end, so that you can smoke. Like I said, it's not so much that we enjoy smoking; it's that we get miserable and anxious when we can't. It doesn't seem to occur to us that non-smokers don't experience this misery and stress.

Because many of us start smoking on social occasions when we are young and a little shy, we acquire the belief that we cannot enjoy social occasions without a cigarette. This is nonsense. Cigarettes systematically attack your nervous system, robbing you of your confidence. The best example of the fear that cigarettes instil in smokers is their effect on women. Many women are fastidious about their personal appearance. They wouldn't dream of going out to a big social function not looking their best and smelling beautiful. Yet knowing that their breath smells like a stale ashtray and their clothes stink appears not to deter them in the least. I know that it
bothers
them greatly—many hate the smell of their own hair and clothes—yet it doesn't
deter
them. Such is the fear that this awful drug instills in the smoker.

Cigarettes do not help social occasions; they destroy them. Excusing ourselves every half-an-hour to go and stand outside alone in the freezing cold, smoking half a cigarette, wondering what on earth we are doing and why, stubbing it out in frustration, trying to hide the evidence with a quick spray of breath freshener, going back inside—only to go through the exact same ritual half-an-hour later. Being constantly self-conscious wondering whether other guests can smell the smoke on you and see the nicotine stains on your teeth and fingers.

Not only is there nothing to give up, there are wonderful positive gains to be had from breaking free from the slavery of smoking. When smokers think about quitting smoking they tend to concentrate on health, money and the social stigma associated with smoking in 21st Century USA. These are obviously valid and important issues, but I personally believe that the greatest gains from stopping are psychological, and they include:

1.
The return of your confidence and courage

2.
Freedom from the slavery of drug addiction

3.
Not having to go through life knowing you are being despised by half of the population and, worst of all, despising yourself

Not only is life better as a non-smoker, it is infinitely more enjoyable. I do not only mean you will be healthier and wealthier. I mean you will be happier and enjoy life far more.

The incredible gains you achieve when you become a non-smoker are discussed in the next few chapters.

Some smokers find it difficult to understand the concept of the ‘void' I mention, and the following analogy may assist you.

Imagine you have a cold sore on your face. I've got this marvelous ointment. I say to you ‘Try this stuff'. You rub the
ointment on, and the sore disappears immediately. A week later it reappears. You ask, ‘Do you have any more of that ointment?' I say, ‘Keep the tube. You might need it again.' You apply the ointment. Hey presto! The sore disappears again. Every time the sore returns, it gets larger and more painful and the period of remission gets shorter and shorter. Eventually the sore covers your whole face and is excruciatingly painful. It is now returning every half hour. You know that the ointment will remove it temporarily, but you are very worried. Will the sore eventually spread over your whole body? Will the periods of remission disappear completely? You go to your doctor. He can't cure it.

By now you are completely dependent on the ointment. You never go out without ensuring that you have a tube with you. If you go abroad you make sure that you take several tubes with you. Now, in addition to the worries about your health, I'm charging you $100 per tube. You have no choice but to pay me.

Then you read in a newspaper that this isn't just happening to you; many other people have been suffering from the same problem. In fact, researchers have discovered that the ointment doesn't actually cure the sore. All it does is to temporarily push the sore beneath the surface of the skin. Far from curing the cold sore, it is the ointment that has caused it to grow. All you have to do to get rid of the sore is to stop using the ointment. The sore will disappear in due course.

Would you continue to use the ointment?

Would it take you willpower not to use the ointment? If you didn't believe the article you had read in the newspaper, there might be a few days of apprehension, but once you realized that the sore was getting better, the need or desire to use the ointment would go.

Would you be miserable? Of course you wouldn't. You had an awful problem, which you thought was insoluble. Now you've found the solution. Even if it took a while for that sore
to disappear completely, each day, as it improved, you'd think, ‘Isn't is marvelous? I'm not going to die this terrible death.'

This was the magic that happened to me when I put out my final cigarette. Let me make one point quite clear in the analogy of the sore and the ointment. The sore isn't lung cancer, arteriosclerosis, emphysema, bronchitis, angina, asthma, or coronary heart disease. These are also caused by the ointment, but in addition to the sore. It isn't the hundreds of thousands of dollars that we burn, or the lifetime of bad breath and stained teeth, the lethargy, the wheezing and coughing. It isn't the lifetime of being despised by a society that seemed happy for you to get hooked in the first place, or the lifetime of despising yourself. These are all in addition to the sore. The sore is the fear that makes us shut our mind to these things, created by that barely noticeable slightly empty, insecure feeling that says, ‘I want a cigarette.' Non-smokers don't suffer from this fear and one of the sweetest things about breaking free from the slavery of smoking is to no longer have your life dominated by fear.

It was as if a great mist had suddenly lifted from my mind. I could see so clearly that the panic feeling of wanting a cigarette wasn't some sort of weakness in me, or some magical quality in the cigarette. Withdrawing from the first cigarette caused that slightly panicky feeling; and each subsequent one, far from relieving the feeling, was keeping it alive. At the same time I could see that all these other ‘happy' smokers were going through the same nightmare that I was.

For the first time in my smoking life, my fear of quitting was replaced by a feeling of excitement about how wonderful it would be to break free!

U
sually when smokers try to stop, they quote health, money and the social stigma as their prime motivations. The sheer, unremitting slavery of being a smoker doesn't even occur to us.

We quite rightly view slavery as a great evil, yet every smoker lives the life of a slave, every day they remain a smoker. We seem oblivious to this slavery for the most part, and feel that it is somehow normal. It is far from normal. We were lucky enough to have been born free. Of all the basic human values, surely freedom is the most basic and most important? Who could conceive of anything as stupid as giving away this priceless gift in order to be enslaved to a drug that doesn't even get you high?