Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It (17 page)

—

Jen Flick

E
at Pray Love
entered my life in the winter of 2008 and became a shining beacon of support and companionship when I needed it most. Liz's story didn't encourage me to jump out of an airplane or climb Mount Everest, but it did support my radical leap into wholeness and my agonizing trek to get there.

The year before I found
Eat Pray Love
, my calendar was filled with the words
chemotherapy
,
double mastectomy
,
radiation
and
complete hysterectomy
. There were other words, too:
meditation
,
visualization
,
affirmations
and
gratitude work
. My treatments and surgeries were brutal, and this latter set of words kept me afloat. What's more, because of them, I began to experience God and universal love in ways I never had before.

Raised Roman Catholic, I was fully aware that what I was experiencing conflicted with the beliefs I had been taught as a child. Still, I couldn't deny that these new practices felt
powerfully right to me. They seemed to fit the nature of my soul. I rejoiced inwardly over my deepening relationship with God but was cognizant of the distance I felt from my religious roots. It was as if I had woken up one morning only to discover the shoes I had been wearing my whole life had shrunk in the night. Obviously, I would need new shoes, but I had no idea where to find them. Alone in my newborn spirituality, I questioned if such shoes even existed at all.

•   •   •

S
o, I did what most seekers do—I honored my path and continued using my healing tools while hoping that my proverbial shoe store would reveal itself to me. Each meditation led me closer to my inner truth and farther away from the dogma I had always practiced outwardly. As my path expanded, questions arose. What would people say if I wasn't at Mass with my husband and children each week? How would the neighbors react when they saw me sitting on my deck in full lotus? Would my children be able to understand and accept this change in me? Was I risking too much?

This is what I discovered: once I dipped my toes into the waters of my truth, any concerns I had over what others might think drifted away with the tide. I also learned that there is a vast difference between being
shown
a way to God and
finding
your way to God. My foundational beliefs had dramatically shifted; I had reached the point of no return.

It was with this mind-set that I picked up
Eat Pray Love
for a book club meeting that winter, and in its pages I found a glorious surprise. Elizabeth Gilbert rolled into my life like a luminous vessel and cast open the doors to my cosmic shoe store!

In the beginning of the book, when Liz writes her letter to God asking for help finalizing her divorce and begins gathering universal signatures, I jumped in and signed the list, too! Having collected cosmic autographs in similar energetic exercises throughout my cancer treatments, I had a strong sense of what would happen next. A few short paragraphs later, when Liz received the phone call announcing her ex-husband had just signed the divorce papers, I cheered for her and gave the book a hardy high five.

Later, while in Rome, Liz is presented with the concept that a single word can define a city or a person. I connected to her struggle over finding her word and began to wonder what my own would be. Just imagining my word lit me up inside. It only took two days for me to find my word, and when I did, I couldn't wait to share it. It was my proclamation.

On the night we gathered to discuss
Eat
Pray Love
, I waited in anticipation for the moderator to ask us if we had thought about
our
single words. Nearly halfway through the meeting, the question finally came. I could barely contain my excitement. I felt quite empowered as I announced with conviction, “Evolving.”

My disclosure was greeted with mixed reactions. A few women seemed intrigued by it, some seemed confused by it and others appeared entirely unaffected. Before, I might have been disappointed in the group's motley response; now, though, it did not matter to me. My joy was unbreakable and grounded in knowing my word.

We had just finished sharing our words when someone asked, “What was that white ash dream about in India? That didn't make any sense to me at all.” A general discussion followed,
which ended in a nearly unanimous consensus that the white ash dream was “weird” and that India was the group's least favorite section of the book.

Interestingly, the white ash dream was one of the most profound moments of the book for me, and I understood it completely. In fact, I had experienced very similar visions during my deepest healing meditations. And India was my favorite section in all of
Eat Pray Love
. I resonated immensely with Liz's plights and enlightenment in those chapters. Prior to my own spiritual awakening, I would not have understood the white ash dream myself. What a blessing, through these discussions, to see reflected back at me the word I had chosen. I was definitely evolving! I had taken a full-body plunge into the ocean of change, and the water was crystal clear and cleansing.

Eight years later, I am in vibrant health and I continue to honor my true path to God. I also make it a practice to honor everyone else's. My husband remains a devout Catholic, and I lovingly support that truth in him. We explain to our children that there are many pathways to God, and we want them to choose the way that feels right to them. Ultimately, we are each responsible for our own unique relationship with the Divine.

As a committed seeker, “evolving” has been osmotically woven into the fibers of my being. It's become part of me. I have a new word now, one that allows my spirit to roam free and breathe joyfully, while keeping my senses open to the beauty of each and every moment. My new word is
living
—full-out, no-excuses living. I kick fear to the curb every chance I get. I squeeze the nectar out of life's happiest moments, and I love the people in it with my entire heart. I take chances and laugh out
loud. I strap wings onto my dreams every day and release them for flight.

My healing journey was predestined, drawn into the blueprint of my life, and so was my resulting transformation. Just as Liz reflected in Bali, I, too, believe, “God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. . . . This was never not going to happen.” I've found my new shoes and have stepped fully into the Light, honoring my truth and remaining awake to the power of my word.

Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert.
Eat Pray Love
made me do it!

—

Peggy Bresnick

F
or my entire adult life, I did what was expected of me. I built a successful career. I married and had children. I bought a center-hall colonial with a big, unruly yard and formidable trees. I sacrificed joy for “appropriate.” I compromised myself in order to satisfy everyone else, and I accepted that. My life was good enough. Only, of course, it wasn't.

I have always been a writer. Writing is how I am able to define who I am at any particular time in my life and save it so I don't forget. It's how I memorialize others, how I figure out where I am and where I'd like to go. How I tell my truth.

Writing sustained and comforted me through a lonely senior year of college. I set aside each Sunday to write. I'd work for long, heavenly hours, often late into the night. I loved these Sundays, alone with my thoughts and my words and the hum of the teal and silver Smith Corona electric typewriter my grandfather had given me as a high school graduation gift. I loved the sound
of my own voice in my head as my ideas spilled out onto crisp 8½- by 11-inch sheets of white paper, and the sound of my fingers clicking away on typewriter keys. Writing was my bliss.

In the spring of 1980, I left my bliss somewhere along the Taconic Parkway on the way home from Skidmore. My life changed abruptly after college graduation. In many soul-crushing conversations, my well-intentioned parents dismissed my writing as a hobby and assured me that writing fiction was not a career choice. My parents told me that I'd be a smart girl if I got a law degree or wrote for a magazine or made a name for myself in public relations. I wanted to earn a good living. I wanted to be a smart girl. At twenty-one, I was old enough to choose a career but still young enough that I depended on my parents for guidance. I believed they knew what was best for me more than I did. Their approval mattered.

So, I gave up what made me happy. I became hollow. And I completely lost my will to write, even though it had brought me so much pleasure. I convinced myself that no one would want to read my writing. I convinced myself that my truth didn't matter. I didn't speak up for what I wanted. I became silent.

By 2009, it had been nearly three decades since I wrote in a journal or felt the warm rush of energy as I created characters and shaped a story, playing with words just because it made me happy. Instead, I had spent my entire adult life writing for money and to advance my career.

In my late thirties, I married and had my two children. I lost my voice in that marriage. I felt beaten down. It seemed dangerous to speak up. My words were like land mines, and I was never sure when something I said would cause an explosion. I knew
even then that my silence was stealing years of my life, but I couldn't seem to muster the nerve to make a change.

Eventually, I got out. In a voice that was more of a shaky whisper than a roar, I filed for divorce. Initiating the end to my own agony was by far the most difficult—and the boldest—move I'd ever made. When he moved out, I was simultaneously relieved and terrified of being alone. I reflexively reached out to find a new man as quickly as possible.

•   •   •

T
his rebound relationship was disastrous, and I found myself in uncomfortably familiar territory, when I realized something wasn't quite right, but said nothing. It ended, but only because he grew tired of me, not because I stuck up for myself.

Still reeling from Rebound Guy, I picked up a copy of
Eat Pray Love
. Friends had raved about it, and the similarities between Elizabeth Gilbert's story and my own resonated with me—her divorce after an unfulfilling marriage; the way she got involved in a new relationship soon afterward.

I didn't have a clue what to do next. I was fifty, and I felt like I was starting from scratch. I turned to
Eat Pray Love
, hoping it might help me find my own direction. And it led me to where I needed to be.

I had stopped reading around the time I stopped writing. But I devoured
Eat Pray Love
in two early July days. I was drawn in from the very first page.

Elizabeth Gilbert tells her story with humor, insight, self-deprecation, sensitivity and immense courage. Simultaneously powerful and determined and vulnerable, her voice resonated
with my own. It was as if Elizabeth, wide-eyed and breathless, had swung open a gate, grabbed hold of my hand and we ran together with our hair flying, down the dirt path through the woods toward the swimming hole on a hot summer day, giggling and singing and shouting. She showed me what I could become, if only I had the courage to follow my purpose and the conviction to see it through.

So, inspired, I sat down at my computer and just wrote. And I discovered my voice was still there, as loud and strong and clear as it was in my final days of college. It felt joyous. It felt like coming home.

Rebecca Asher
is a writer, author and stand-up comedian. Asher holds a master's degree in new media journalism from Full Sail University and a BFA in theater from Chapman University, as well as being a graduate from the American Musical and Dramatic Academy (AMDA) in New York City. Asher's books include a children's book,
Little
Mouse
; a historical nonfiction book,
Images of America: Keller, Texas
; and a soon-to-be-released political nonfiction book,
The Conflicted American.
Her one-woman show,
Death by Chocolate
, a coming-of-age story about dating, dieting and death, has played in New York and Los Angeles. Rebecca has acted, produced and written for TV, film and radio.

Lisa Becker
has published creative nonfiction in
LA Family Magazine
and various literary journals. She took a hiatus from the film industry to raise her kids and found that motherhood jump-started her
muse. Lisa lives in Los Angeles with her husband, their blended family and three rescued cats. www.lisabecker.com.

James Belmont
lives in Madison, Wisconsin, with his two life partners Alex and Nick and their fur babies Buddy and Pistol. By day, James is an event coordinator and wedding planner for a hotel, and by night, advises small businesses and nonprofit organizations on social media marketing and content creation. When time allows, James reads a lot of Jim Butcher and Liz Gilbert novels and volunteers at his Wiccan church, Circle Sanctuary.

Melissa Bergstrom
is a Boston-based actor, playwright and teaching artist. She is the cofounder and co–artistic director of The Perpetual Visitors Theatre Company, a company dedicated to telling true, uncommon stories and fostering human connection and community. Melissa blogs regularly about creativity and life in the theater at www.theperpetualvisitor.com.

Cara Bradshaw
is a fund-raiser and communications professional who has worked with international nonprofits to address issues of children's rights and refugee resettlement, and in higher education to promote interfaith peace-building and community engagement. She currently directs fund-raising at a national nonprofit that helps homeless and low-income families achieve sustainable independence. Cara is a student with The Writers Studio in New York City and enjoys mountain biking and hiking with her dog. She grew up in Gloucester, Massachusetts, and so, naturally, is a lover of water.

Peggy Bresnick
has been a freelance writer for twenty years, focusing on financial services technology. When she's not writing for clients or for fun, Peggy enjoys listening to live music and exploring the
trails near her Connecticut home with her two children and her two big, goofy dogs.

A native Texan,
Linsi Broom
has lived across the United States and holds graduate degrees in both psychology and conflict studies. After breaking free from the confines of a government cubicle, she now writes, travels and teaches trauma-informed yoga. Her passion is working with vulnerable/marginalized populations. You can follow her journey at livingthesearch.com.

Tracie Cornell
is a life coach, nutrition coach and writer. She lives in Buffalo, New York, with her husband and two beautiful daughters. When she isn't writing, coaching or carpooling, she can be found at yoga, on a bike trail or sipping a latte. She loves dinners out with her husband and friends and is constantly thinking of where their next vacation will be. Find her at tracielynncornell.com.

Karstee Davis
resides in Colorado. This is her first publication. She lives for lattes, rainy days, books and playing fantasy football, and has an irrational fear that she'll die before she gets around to reading Proust. Karstee spends the bulk of her time with her family, to whom she owes everything and whom she adores.

Tina Donvito
is the former editor in chief of
Twist
magazine. Her writing has appeared in the
Washington Post
, the
Huffington Post
,
Time Out New York
,
New York
magazine and
Fit Pregnancy.
She continues to enjoy hiking with her husband and son.

Elizabeth Duffy
is a grateful alumna and employee of Caron Treatment Centers. She has traveled the world and now, at age thirty, is
finally writing about her experiences. It is her hope to connect with other kindred spirits through her stories and to provide comfort through shared blunders, desires and adventures.

Chelsey Everest
grew up in Portland, Maine, and received her MFA from the Stonecoast low-residency creative writing program. She currently teaches English courses at various community colleges and facilitates a writing workshop in the Kelly Writers House at the University of Pennsylvania. She resides in Philadelphia with her partner, Tom, and their puppy, Rue.

Jen
Flick
is a number-one bestselling author and inspirational speaker. She coauthored the books
The Wisdom of Midlife Women 2, Cultivating Joy
and
Unleash Your Inner Magnificence
. As an avid student of metaphysics, Jen firmly believes in integrating modern medicine with holistic treatments to achieve optimal health. Awakened to her true self after being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006, Jen now lives a vibrant, healthy, joyful life, and her mission is to support others who want to do the same. Learn more at www.JenFlick.com.

Crystal Gasser
is twenty-three years old and a current resident of Eugene, Oregon, where she's in college, studying psychology. Her interests include writing, getting out in nature, yoga and spending time with close friends.

Laurie Granieri
's work has been broadcast on NPR, published in the Boxcar Poetry Review and appeared in the 2011 essay collection
This I Believe: On Fatherhood
. She lives in New Jersey.

Jan Haag
is a professor of journalism and English at Sacramento City College in the capital of California, where she also leads weekly writing groups encouraging people to trust their voices on the page. She is the author of a book of poetry about her late husband,
Companion Spirit
, and she has written two novels—one set in British Columbia and one in Sacramento.

Aimee Halfpenny
is a nonprofit professional who has worked on projects in Guatemala, Nicaragua and Mexico. She is currently the director of development for Mama's Kitchen, a nonprofit that provides meals to the critically ill. She loves inspiring others, having extra salt on her margarita glass and giggling with her family.

Alexandria Hodge
has a degree in creative writing and English from the University of Nebraska at Omaha and is pursuing her master's degree in English education at University College London. At a very young age she relished the instructional and soothing powers literature had on her life, and she has dedicated her professional pursuits toward giving others access to that same sense of paradise. She currently lives in London, England, with her boyfriend, but considers Omaha, Nebraska, to be her irreplaceable home.

Elizabeth Veras Holland
currently lives in the Bay Area and is pursuing a degree in Spanish and liberal arts at City College of San Francisco. This is her first publication.

Sondra Imperati
lives with Michael in Rochester, New York. While he cooks dinner at night, she continues to pursue her passion for
writing. They worship at Spiritus Christi Church and still sing with the gospel choir.

Kahla Kiker
is a multi-genre writer who believes her purpose is to enlighten everyone that “you are not limited—you can chase and catch as many dreams as you desire.” When she is not writing or working in her career in finance, she can be found shooting competitive sporting clays with her husband, George, or juggling the busy schedules of her three beautiful children.

For most of her life,
Annmarie Kostyk
has been on a search for meaning—and the tastiest foods available. She studied arts and humanities at Indiana University and has a professional chocolatier certificate from Ecole Chocolat and a certificate in L'Art du Gâteau—the art of cake baking and decorating—from the French Pastry School. She has published four books on chocolate, including
The Chocolate Travel Guide
and
Marais Chocolate Skin
Care
. You can find her at AnnmarieKostyk.com.

Nosipho Kota
is a writer and poet. She was born in New Brighton, Port Elizabeth, South Africa, and has worked as a communications manager for the Eastern Cape's Office of the Premier and Department of Health, as well as a journalist for the
Weekend Post
in Port Elizabeth, and the
Daily Dispatch
in East London. Her poetry collection,
Bare Soul
, was launched at the Cape Town Book Festival in 2010. In 2015, she founded her own company, Kota Communications, which coaches writers, with a focus on young women, and assists them with publishing their work.

Mallory Kotzman
is a fearless reader and world traveler. She believes in the power of kindness and unconditional love. Mallory lives
in Pittsburgh with her husband, Timothy, where she is currently working on her first novel.

Susan Krakoff
is originally from Ohio but currently lives in Cork, Ireland. In 2015 she graduated from the West Virginia Wesleyan College MFA program in creative writing. She continues to write early childhood memoir and travel writing. Susan is a trained birth doula and plans to work with pregnant teens and Spanish-speaking moms either in the Midwest or Ireland.

Eduardo Martinez
is forty-two, lives in California and two years ago started on the road that's led him to the second half of his life, embracing spirituality and welcoming maturity with open arms. He currently teaches special education in the public school system.

Nicole Massaro
is a lover of literature who works in advertising. She has no previous publications, despite all of her mother's encouragement. Nicole lives in Greenville, South Carolina, with an engineer and a dog named Hadley. Greece is next on her list of places to see.

Leslie Patrick Moore
is a freelance journalist and the author of two books about writing. She has lived and worked on six continents, and she's now married to the handsome Englishman Steven Moore. When they're not traveling, she and her novelist-husband call San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, home. Her website is www.lesliepatrick.com.

Robin Murphy
, explorer; having completed Chapter One of her own life, in which she taught high school theater for twenty-five years
and raised four amazing children, moves forward into Chapter Two, where the synopsis includes much adventure, romance, creativity and abundance.

Theressa Real
is a single mom of three kids and a member of the military. She spends her free time writing short stories, working on a novel, painting crazy pictures, bending into weird yoga poses and laughing at the joy of being a parent. Most days, she can be found roaming the local musician's corner, gleefully taking in local art and delicious coffee.

Danielle Rhinehart
is a music lover, animal fanatic and lifelong bookworm. She recently completed more than a decade of college and now hopes to explore the planet, relax a little and catch up on her leisure reading. She currently resides in San Francisco with her main squeeze, Sam, and the feisty family of raccoons who inhabit the palm tree in their backyard.

New York Times
–bestselling author
Peter Richmond
earned a BA in philosophy from Yale in 1976 and an MA in teaching from Moravian College in 2015, and somewhere in there also flunked out of auto mechanics school. He has published seven books, most recently the young adult novel
Always a Catch
(Philomel Press). His work has been featured in fourteen anthologies, including
Best American Sportswriting of the Century
.

Billy Rosa
is a nurse educator for the Human Resources for Health Program in Kigali, Rwanda. He writes a weekly column for the
New Times: Rwanda's Leading English Daily
on health and well-being, and his first book,
Nurses as Leaders: Evolutionary Visions of Leadership
,
will be published in fall 2016. Billy collaborates with national and international nursing organizations, has been recognized with several awards for his contributions to the profession and aspires to complete PhD studies in the near future.

Sandra Roussy
grew up in a small fishing village on the east coast of Canada. Having a teacher for a dad meant long summers road-tripping with her family, which sparked dreams of faraway travels. After facing her fears and starting a new chapter in her life, Sandra is now teaching, writing and photographing her way to those faraway places she dreamed about all those years ago. To follow Sandra on her adventure, visit: www.twelvehundredjourney.com.