Echoes and Embers (Rebel Angels) (6 page)

“You must find peace within this madness or you will Fall.”

“No!” Alyssa screamed as Michael dispatched Gideon. Her sleeping body jerked, jarred by the memory.

Without releasing his link with her mind, Sariel solidified, pulling her trembling body into his arms. She clung to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her mouth moved
,
forming the words she spoke in the memory.

“Is this your game then, Michael? Twist our words to form our punishments?”

“Punishments?”
Michael paused, his expression thoughtful. His wings rippled subtly. “I choose to see them as opportunities.”

“Opportunities for what?” the last male demanded.

“Daniel, don’t,” Alyssa tugged on her friend’s arm, but he twisted away.

Michael faced the last two Rebel Angels. “If there is no justice in Heaven, perhaps you can find it in the realm of man.”

Daniel disappeared, leaving Alyssa alone with the archangel.

Alyssa screamed, struggling against the arms encircling her. Memories, vivid and dreadful, pelted her mind like hail. “They’re gone. Michael sent them all away.”

Trembling, she collapsed against the person holding her, sobbing helplessly. She wrapped her arms around his back, clutching his tunic.

The hillside scene receded, leaving a vast emptiness within her soul. She had been angry and discontent, convinced her resentment was justified. If only she had known. If she had guessed what awaited in the human realm…

Life as she knew it had ended that day. Her purpose for existence, her closest friends had all been forfeited to her rebellion.

A warm hand brushed her hair, tender lips kissed her brow. She opened her eyes and looked into Sariel’s gold-speckled gaze. Compassion and concern shone as brightly as the miniature constellations. She released her breath in a ragged sob. Pressing her hand against his cheek, she absorbed the comfort of his presence. She wasn’t alone. Sariel was here, holding her, protecting her.

Sariel?
What was Sariel doing in her bed? Was she still dreaming?

The dreaded mists swirled, threatening to reclaim the ground she’d gained. “I must speak of what I saw,” she whispered, her voice raspy. “I don’t want to forget.”

“You won’t forget unless you lie about what took place. Each memory you’ve lost has been the result of a lie you told.”

Easing back without leaving the security of his embrace, Alyssa studied his shadowed face. They lay on their sides, one of his legs pressed between her thighs. Even their intimate position couldn’t distract her from the past. She desperately wanted to feel whole again, competent—sane.

“How do you know that?” A strand of tawny hair streamed in front of his face. She combed her fingers through his hair, pushing the thick mass over his shoulder. “Did you have something to do with my dream?”

“It was not a dream, it was a memory.”

She licked her lips, his evasive tone made her uncomfortable. “Did you somehow induce the memory?” He brushed his fingers along her side then rested his hand on her hip. Tingling heat followed his touch. Was he trying to distract her with desire? Her body hummed, anticipating a more intimate distraction, appreciating his strategy. “How did you do it? If you can’t ‘indulge your carnal nature’, why are you here?”

He traced her lips with his fingertip. “The conflict within your mind troubles me. I wanted to help ease your confusion. All I did was light the way. I hadn’t intended to join you here, but the memory was more upsetting than I anticipated.”

“You can see into my mind? Share my memories? These are not ordinary angelic gifts.”

“I’m not an ordinary angel.”

His smile sent heat curling deep into her belly. He was so beautiful when he smiled. She longed to drag his mouth to hers and abandon herself completely to the passion sizzling between them. She had no doubt he desired her, but something more powerful than their attraction held him back.

He had come to comfort her, to help her battle her confusion. She couldn’t compromise the purity of that goal. Scooting away from his warm body, she sat and took a slow, deep breath.

“Do you know what happened to the others?” he asked.

She glanced over her shoulder. He sat as well, his body now on top of the bedding. Odd, she hadn’t felt the bed shift as he moved.
“Some of them.
Michael dispatched us to different locations, scattered throughout time. When I first encountered Lailah, she had just arrived while I had been trapped in the human realm for nearly a hundred years.”

“Did you seek her out or did your paths simply cross?”

The subtle suspicion in his expression made her smile. “We were not specifically forbidden to interact with each other.”

“Michael said he was dispersing your group permanently and then he scattered you to the four winds. That seemed pretty clear to me.”

“Don’t you dare defend him to
me!
” She scowled fiercely. “Do you approve of his actions?”

He raised his hands toward her, palms out, and shook his head. “I’m not your judge, Alyssa. This is between you, Michael and God.” She didn’t reply and his posture gradually relaxed. “What became of Gideon? I know Rosalind descended from him. How did that come about?”

She drew her knees to her chest under her nightgown and wrapped her arms around her legs. How could he defend Michael? Didn’t Sariel realize the living hell her life had become?
Endless years of futile searching, continually on the run.
Immortality was agony when purpose had been stripped away.

Garbled images assailed her, fragments of lifetimes, various locations and different identities. She remembered them all, and yet could recall the specifics of none.

Sariel bent one leg, resting his forearm across his knee. Dense shadows gave his features a sinister cast. Still, Alyssa was not frightened by his presence in her bed. She had been alone far too long. Despite her frustration with his attitude, she longed for his sheltering arms.

“Gideon.” He prompted in a quiet, conversational tone. “Tell me about Gideon.”

Resting her chin on her knees, she sifted through memories. “Much of it is still jumbled. Michael allowed our own words to determine the specifics of our trials. Gideon’s thirst for blood became literal.”

“I’ve heard of such creatures among the Fallen. How was he redeemed?”

“He didn’t Fall. His angelic nature was compromised, but none of us
Fell
. We are something in between, not demonic, yet no longer angelic.” She let a smile curve her lips. “Rather like you.”

“But Gideon was not of the Order of Grigori, so how did he father children?” His gaze moved over her face, lingering on her lips. Was he imagining a kiss? Remembering her taste?

“The murals Naomi painted in the church tell the tale. After they vanquished Legion, Gideon was transformed. His bloodlust was lifted and he was made human.” A sharp pang of envy darted through her. Gideon’s trial was over. He was at peace, forever content, while she battled on.

“
Human?”
Sariel sounded incredulous. “He willingly gave up his immortality?”

“And spent the rest of his days peacefully with the woman he loved. It was a fair exchange.”

Sariel shook his head, his expression thoughtful. “Where are the others?”

Ruggedly handsome features and flashing ebony eyes flickered to life within her mind.
Daniel
. What had become of Daniel? Specific events and details stayed just beyond her reach. She released a frustrated sigh. “I’m not sure. You said my memories are being destroyed by lies. What led you to that conclusion?”

“Each of the Rebel Angels was cursed by their own words. You said truth was lost in lies. I believe you are no longer capable of distinguishing truth from falsehood. Each time you say something that is
untrue,
it becomes fact within your mind, distorting what is real.”

Fiddling with the hem of her nightgown, she silently considered his words. The theory made perfect sense. It was consistent with what she knew of the other punishments. She could finally see a glimmer of light through the mist, yet she had never been more discouraged.

“Rosalind said my identity changes with my mood. I didn’t realize how accurate her assessment was. I cannot tell people what I am, so I become whatever I tell them.” Pressure erupted in her temples. She pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. “How will I ever combat this? If I speak only truth, the villagers will be more convinced than ever that I’m a lunatic.
Or a witch!”

Sariel pulled Alyssa onto his lap, cradling her against his chest. He guided her head to his shoulder and held her close. “Now that you’re aware of the problem, you can choose your words with the utmost care.”

Having her in his arms was the sweetest torture he could imagine. She didn’t reply to his assurance but cuddled against him. Her hand slipped inside the opening of his tunic, absently rubbing his chest.

Images flickered through his mind. Female flesh spread before him like a banquet, offered without hesitation to his ravenous appetite. With a smoldering glance he’d made them want him, a few practiced caresses and they’d trembled, desperate for the pleasure they found only in his arms.

He couldn’t do that to Alyssa. He wouldn’t make her a slave to his desire. If he loosed the beast, to even a small degree, it would devour them both.

Alyssa’s light floral scent filled his nose. Sariel’s pulse sped and the pressure in his groin intensified. Why was he doing this? He should leave, return to his bedchamber and never touch her again.

It had taken thousands of years to rise above his carnal nature. He could not go back now. Not even for Alyssa.

“What are you afraid of?” she whispered against his skin.

Anger burst within him. The beast writhed and roared. She had no idea what he’d been like, what he was liable to do to her.

Warm and willing in his arms, she taunted the beast, begging to be devoured.

He swept her beneath him, pressing her into the mattress with the weight of his body. “I fear nothing! I am
unwilling
to endure—”

“That’s not what I meant. I—”

He cut off her words with his mouth, dragging her hands above her head and wedging his body between her legs. If she was so anxious to see the beast, he would give her a glimpse of the darkness within him. He would frighten her just enough to make her understand.

She set her teeth and twisted her face to the side, panting harshly.

“Stop it! I will not be taken in anger.”

“Why?” he sneered. “What are
you
afraid of? Is this not what you wanted? What we’ve both been waiting for?”

His mouth claimed hers again. Grasping both her wrists with one large hand, he splayed the fingers of his other hand against her face, holding her still. He rubbed his mouth against hers, his expectation clear. She whimpered. Her lips parted and he immediately thrust inside. He captured her distressed cry in his open mouth, taking the kiss deeper, demanding more.

Sweet.
She tasted so sweet. He was ravenous, desperate,
eager
to introduce her to wicked, wanton pleasures sure to shock and thrill her.

He had to stop.

He couldn’t stop!

He wanted her desperately—but not like this.

Grinding his cock against the heat between her thighs, he cursed the clothing separating his flesh from hers. He breathed in her scent and absorbed the feel of her softness crushed beneath his much larger frame.

He didn’t want to hurt her, knew he couldn’t take her, but he had to touch her!

Pushing to his knees, he tugged her garment off over her head. She protested each time their mouths separated. He held firmly to her hands and concentrated on their kiss. With slow, steady penetrations, he took her mouth as he longed to take her body. She squirmed and twisted, but her mouth grew pliant and responsive. His hand wandered over her torso, cupping her breasts, teasing her nipples.

“Shall I stop or pleasure your nipples?” He formed the question against her kiss-dampened lips, fanning her with his breath.

“Why are you doing this?” She stilled beneath him, her eyes wide, filled with uncertainty.

“Stop or go? I will only respond to one of those two words.”

She licked her lips, inadvertently brushing his in the process. “Go.”